The craziness known as women

[longshot]

I found this site/page. It's actually an ad for a book called The internet: Now in handy book form

It's titled "PornForGirlsByGirls.com" It's safe for work... no nudity... no actual porn... just hilarity.

http://www.theinternetnowinhandybookform.com/PornForGirlsByGirls/

"20 minute clip of a single button on a bursting wedding dress being slowly unpicked on a windy moor. At dawn. Near some trees."

So, my question/theme of the thread...

Guys, what's been the dumbest/most ridiculous thing you've done for a girl? I remember Artie Lang on the Howard Stern show (a long time ago) talking about going apple picking...

Girls, what's the most ridiculous thing you've guilted/made a guy do?

[Keller]

what's been the dumbest/most ridiculous thing you've done for a girl?

Got married.

[CrystalTears]

Made a guy do? I've never asked a guy to do something stupid. I dated a guy who heard me say once that I liked a bare chest so she shaved his. Course this was the same guy who didn't like getting blowjobs so I was starting to think he was gay or something and I stopped going out with him.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Made a guy do? I've never asked a guy to do something stupid. I dated a guy who heard me say once that I liked a bare chest so she shaved his. Course this was the same guy who didn't like getting blowjobs so I was starting to think he was gay or something and I stopped going out with him.

:rofl: Please tell me you laughed at him. God knows I wouldn't be able to control myself laughing in that situation.

I don't think I've ever guilt tripped a guy into doing anything. I may convince them via bribery (i.e. if we go to the beach, I'll cook you steak tonight). I have had some guys do stupid things while dating me thinking it'll impress me. I think the most ridiculous thing is when they write very shitty poetry that makes you feel embarrassed and ashamed for them when you read it.

[CrystalTears]

Heh, I didn't laugh, but I did ask, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

I dated this other guy who worked in a movie theater (that's where I met him) who said he was going to be the best encyclopedia salesman ever. On our first date he took me back to his house and said "I own this house. I allow my parents to live here. When I get married, they have to leave." Well I'm glad to see what kind of a prick you are from the getgo. Can I go home now?

Yeah I'd rather talk about stupid shit men have done that leave me wondering WTF.

[Tisket]

My husband was showing off and broke his collarbone trying to do a wheelie (sp?) on his motorcycle the first time we met. It was love at first sight. He asked me to take him to the doctor then asked me out.

[Latrinsorm]

Crossed an ocean. On foot.

Also, chalk one up for the writing shitty poetry group. :yes:

[Tisket]

Crossed an ocean. On foot.

Also, chalk one up for the writing shitty poetry group. :yes:

I wrote some pretty craptastic poetry for a boyfriend in high school. Awful, awful stuff.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I can't say that I've ever written a love poem to someone. The only love poem I can remember reading that I actually liked was "A Valediction Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne.

[longshot]

This reminded me of Wezas...

Listed on the website under "Incredible Latex Boyfriend.":

-"Here- have all my passwords!"
-"And you can read my emails and texts."

Awful things I've done...

Saw "Oceans 13" in the movie theater. (I hate these movies...)
Went to Universal Studios Japan.
Went to a botanical garden.

I'm sure there are more...

[Methais]

Made a guy do? I've never asked a guy to do something stupid. I dated a guy who heard me say once that I liked a bare chest so she shaved his. Course this was the same guy who didn't like getting blowjobs so I was starting to think he was gay or something and I stopped going out with him.

It's possible that the chicks he's been with before just didn't know how to do it right.

There's nothing worse than getting a BJ from a chick that can't keep her teeth off your sausage.

[Back]

What stipulation do you have on the end result of this question?

Whats the stupidest thing I’ve done to get laid and actually got laid? Nothing.

Whats the stupidest thing I’ve done to try and get laid but did not? Nothing.

Whats the stupidest thing I’ve done to ruin a relationship? Sleeping with another girl and telling her about it. (Actually I told both of them and ended up dating them both later, but not at the same time.)

Whats the stupidest thing I’ve done to try and resurrect a failed relationship? Purchased a ring and paid for the setting from a jewelry store who was running a promotion on a free gem. The actual gem was a paper thin chip. Probably gem-cutter waste. It was so pathetic she actually cried.

[CrystalTears]

It's possible that none of the chicks he's been with before just didn't know how to do it right.

There's nothing worse than getting a BJ from a chick that can't keep her teeth off your sausage.
No no, he didn't like them. He also felt that a woman doing "that" was doing something beneath her and wouldn't allow it.

[Gan]

in the game of life, women are the rake.

Stupidest thing for a girl? Let her come between me and a really good friend.

Stupidest thing to do for a girl? Change

[Parkbandit]

What stipulation do you have on the end result of this question?

Whats the stupidest thing I’ve done to get laid and actually got laid? Nothing.

Whats the stupidest thing I’ve done to try and get laid but did not? Nothing.

Whats the stupidest thing I’ve done to ruin a relationship? Sleeping with another girl and telling her about it. (Actually I told both of them and ended up dating them both later, but not at the same time.)

Whats the stupidest thing I’ve done to try and resurrect a failed relationship? Purchased a ring and paid for the setting from a jewelry store who was running a promotion on a free gem. The actual gem was a paper thin chip. Probably gem-cutter waste. It was so pathetic she actually cried.

Holy shit, that's awesome.. and pathetically sad at the same time.

Dumbest thing I ever did was date a girl that was 17 and in high school, while I was in college. I ended up breaking it off with her when she asked me to drive her to school a couple of times.

[Methais]

No no, he didn't like them. He also felt that a woman doing "that" was doing something beneath her and wouldn't allow it.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/zeonzumdeikun/Worf_notagain.gif

[DCSL]

Hm. I've never really asked but... I'm a huge Jet Li fan. So sue me. Nearly a decade ago, me and two of my guy friends were watching a Lethal Weapon marathon and when Jet Li did that aerial kick, I said, "I'll marry the guy that can do that."

So one of the guys got up, shoved my furniture around and did it perfectly. He even repeated it a couple of times to show it wasn't a fluke, heh.

Not-so-smart things I've done for a guy? Drove 26 hours straight from New Jersey to Austin.

[Warriorbird]

Settled.

Stayed faithful.

I don't regret any of the poetry I've written.

[DCSL]

I regret listening to my guy friends' poetry about girls who've dumped them. But then, I have no appreciation for most poetry anyway.

[Latrinsorm]

I regret listening to my guy friends' poetry about girls who've dumped them.I already admit that I am no T.S. Eliot, but it's incredible how vitriolic and petty some dudes get with that kind of 'poetry'. You almost expect nuns to burst into flames for a 10 mile radius or something, and that's on top of it being stylistically awful. I regret even being in the room when dudes get into that stuff.

[Warriorbird]

I understand. I mostly tend to write mine pre me dumping or she dumping.

I have no appreciation for most lit fiction. That's something women have also subjected me too. I'd forgotten.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I like poetry but I really hate cliche poetry which is what most people write. Over the top melancholic angsty black blood death crap.. or else, over the top "I am sooo in love" comparisons to angels and other celestial crap.

I know some girls are into guys who write poetry, even if it is terribly cliche, but then those are likely the same girls who'd want to have sex on a rose-petal covered bed with candles all around. I'm just not that kind of a girl, I suppose.

[CrystalTears]

I hate guys who recite poetry.

[Warriorbird]

What have you had recited to you? I imagine that'd likely have some effect.

[CrystalTears]

It doesn't matter. Whether it be good poetry or bad, I just don't like men reciting poetry to me. I can't explain why, it just kinda creeps me out.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Same here, CT.

The only time I like it, is if we're discussing a poem and quoting lines from it. But a guy to just bust out some poetry and try to "woo" me with it is creepy and over-the-top.

[Parkbandit]

I think my wife would laugh uncontrollably if I started reciting poetry or singing her a love song.

I doubt I could do it with a straight face either though.

[Warriorbird]

The only time I like it, is if we're discussing a poem and quoting lines from it. But a guy to just bust out some poetry and try to "woo" me with it is creepy and over-the-top.

I can see that. I haven't ever done it. I've included poems in cards for holidays and such though.

[Back]

I know some girls are into guys who write poetry, even if it is terribly cliche, but then those are likely the same girls who'd want to have sex on a rose-petal covered bed with candles all around. I'm just not that kind of a girl, I suppose.

Ah. The delapidated couch and TV on type?

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Ah. The delapidated couch and TV on type?

Or how about just having a great time without needing assistance from flowers.com and Yankee Candle?

[Warriorbird]

Ha ha. Yankee Candle. Something else that's been inflicted on me.

[Back]

Or how about just having a great time without needing assistance from flowers.com and Yankee Candle?

Sounds good to me. But sometimes a setting can enhance the experience. All I would add is mirrors.

[CrystalTears]

Yeah I've never been one of those girls that needed a proper setting, or that everything had to be done in the right time and place for the right feeling. I guess I wasn't a romantic when it came to dating and I was fine with that.

I gush when my husband does stuff for me now though, and it could be as simple as getting me flowers for my birthday.

[Gan]

Sounds good to me. But sometimes a setting can enhance the experience. All I would add is mirrors.

Is that how you 'seduced' Beth?

[Back]

Is that how you 'seduced' Beth?

I could try and introduce you if you are that interested in her. Doubt she would go for it though. Well, she might. If not only just to give you a sound Bething.

[Nilandia]

I'm sort of in the middle for what I love in what men do in a relationship.

I'm an incurable romantic, but the romance I love is not the showy stuff people often think of. If someone does nothing but write poetry, light candles, buy gifts and whatever else, I get suspicious of their motives. It seems to me he would be more trying to get something out of me than trying to show his appreciation.

The romance I go for is found in small acts done every day. Asking me how I am and listening to me, offering help if I need it, or just being there without an agenda. I won't turn away an outlandish act every so often just to keep me on my toes, but I want honesty and sincerity more than I want a show.

Gretchen

[DCSL]

Yeah, I'm not romantic at all. No candles. No petals. Mostly because all I can think of is staining the sheets with weird plant juice and how the hell we'll get all of them up before the dogs eat them. Let's just get it on, geez. And no bath tub + candles either.

My boyfriend brings me flowers once every couple of years and I always feel a little awkward when I get them. How the hell am I supposed to respond other than.. thanks? It seems inadequate.

The only romantic gesture I ever genuinely liked was when he wrote me a song. It had no words because he knows his limitations, but he is just this side of a guitar god and it was beautiful. Joe Satriani-esque instead of wussy singer-songwriter crap like the Plain White Ts. And he named a guitar after me, a gunmetal grey Ibanez. Mmm.

[TheEschaton]

Stupidest thing I've ever done FOR a girl: go to college where she went to college despite getting into better schools. Luckily, I think that was a decision that turned out well regardless.

Stupidest thing I've ever done TO GET a girl (and failed): travel to Mozambique. At least I was in Namibia.

I write poetry about girls all the time, but I've never actually GIVEN any of it to them. Holy shit, that'd be against the whole point.

Oh, and stupidest thing I've ever done to get a girl (and succeeded): get in a fight, at a bar....with her boyfriend, when he slapped her.

-TheE-

[Some Rogue]

Oh, and stupidest thing I've ever done to get a girl (and succeeded): get in a fight, at a bar....with her boyfriend, when he slapped her.

-TheE-


I don't think that one's stupid. I'd probably punch a guy if I ever saw him hitting a woman.

[TheEschaton]

Well, stupid in that it got me arrested. But luckily nothing was ever charged. :)

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Setting can be important, but the whole rose petal and overly "romantic" stuff just isn't a turn on, nor does that constitute a "good" setting. Besides being very cheesy, the technical aspects of inhaling a rose petal mid-moan or having them stuck all over my back or chest isn't terribly erotic.

As a side note, I do like getting flowers, I won't lie. When I'm having a really shitty day, it's nice to get them to sorta brighten it up and know someone is thinking about you. But to me it's more of an "I care" gesture, not a seductive one.

[DCSL]

Oo, I didn't even think of that. Eww. No thanks on squished rose petals all over my body.

[Revalos]

I joined a cult (at least as far as just about everyone else believes, Asatru FTW) for my ex-wife...and now I kinda like it, probably because she bailed on it too when she bailed on me but it may just be a shomer shabbos Big Lebowski thing at this point.

I haven't done my stupidest thing yet, but I'm going to Iraq to try and get a girl that I work with who is also going to Iraq.

[Methais]

I haven't done my stupidest thing yet, but I'm going to Iraq to try and get a girl that I work with who is also going to Iraq.

http://sydlexia.com/blogstuff/ackbar_its_a_trap.jpg

[Back]

Setting can be important, but the whole rose petal and overly "romantic" stuff just isn't a turn on, nor does that constitute a "good" setting. Besides being very cheesy, the technical aspects of inhaling a rose petal mid-moan or having them stuck all over my back or chest isn't terribly erotic.

Burning down houses with knocked-over pillows on candles can be a real buzzkill also.

[Skeeter]

I had no idea there was this much poetry floating around.

I made some shitty mix-tapes when I was in Jr. High, that was fairly embarassing.

Worst thing I probably ever did was date a pregnant chick in HS so I could practice having sex w/o risk. That did pay dividends in the long run though.

Honestly the last 5 years or so of my life has been me trying to make karmic amends for all the shitty things I did in HS and College. Most of these things either directly or indirectly involved girls. I pulled some serious tucker max type BS in my day.

[Khariz]

Worst thing I probably ever did was date a pregnant chick in HS so I could practice having sex w/o risk. That did pay dividends in the long run though.



fucking pwn

[Snapp]

Nothing major, but I did sign up for a class I totally didn't need/want to take in college just to try and date a guy. We did finally end up scrumping, but it was so not worth the effort. :(

Live and learn




Worst thing I probably ever did was date a pregnant chick in HS so I could practice having sex w/o risk.


:rofl:

[TheEschaton]

God, I took a class for a girl once. The class was awesome, the girl ended up being even better. :)

[Khariz]

When I was in 10th grade I dated a chick in marching band. I decided that I wanted to be with her all the time, so I joined marching band at the end of the year. The band director convinced me that I needed to play the tuba.

I spent the summer learning how to play the tuba and then broke up with her before the school year even started. I decided to try band anyway and fucking loved it. Even picked what college I wanted to go to based on marching band. Turned out for the best.

[Back]

This thread gets 5 Stars.

[landy]

This thread gets 5 Stars.

Why, because someone responded to you without calling you a fucking idiot?

[radamanthys]

I drove to Boston for the Head of the Charles Regatta. Twice. From Binghamton.

I like Boston, though. The trips were pretty fun, females excluded.

Umm. I've done the poetry thing. Worked, too.

However, I'm pretty decent when it comes to romantic thingys. The best was one valentine's day in high school... this girl (who was more of a best friend at the time, wasn't even remotely trying to get in her pants) used to come over to watch Jeopardy with my family. She very much enjoyed lucky charms, so I always kept a box in the house for her.

Well, for valentines day, I bought a little box and a big box of the cereal in question. I dumped them both onto a couple cookie sheets, and picked out all the heart marshmallows, tossed them in the little box, added grain pieces to fill it out, then carefully resealed it. I gave her a card taped to the little box, seeming a small gesture for the day. About a week later I was tackled. In giggly female gratitude. hehe.

A good one to do around this time is to stop by someplace on the side of the road, pick a bunch of flowers from places (depends on her whether roses, lilacs, lillies, tulips, etc), toss them in a glass and leave a little note that says "Happy Spring/Summer". The smiles are worth it, trust me.

[Peanut Butter Jelly Time]

My husband was showing off and broke his collarbone trying to do a wheelie (sp?) on his motorcycle the first time we met. It was love at first sight. He asked me to take him to the doctor then asked me out.

Wait... WAIT... WAIT.... You're a chick!? Well damn, now I don't feel nearly as bad about all your anger towards me. Hmm..

[longshot]

Worst thing I probably ever did was date a pregnant chick in HS so I could practice having sex w/o risk. That did pay dividends in the long run though.


Ho-ly-shit! This is easily the funniest thing I've heard in a really long time.

Wow. Just wow... I don't even know where to go from here. That's pure gold though.


My boyfriend brings me flowers once every couple of years and I always feel a little awkward when I get them. How the hell am I supposed to respond other than.. thanks?

Blowjobs. Lots and lots of spontaneous blowjobs.



Not-so-smart things I've done for a guy? Drove 26 hours straight from New Jersey to Austin.

This reminded me... I drove like five hours on three different occasions to stay at this one girl's place for the weekend. My friends made fun of me constantly. They'd do shit like call my phone every hour and ask, "Are you there yet? Just making sure you're doing okay..."

She used to be my teacher in college... totally worth it.


This thread gets 5 Stars.

That's because I started it. :wink:

I do appreciate the nod of approval though, and sincerely hope you can survive this thread without getting blasted to pieces... it'd be a nice change, and a good confidence booster for you.

Good luck!!

[DCSL]

The only thing involving flowers I've ever liked was when my best friend spelled out my name on the sidewalk in front of my apartment with hundreds of tiny purple flowers. Six feet of big purple letters. She said she did it because she was bored and I wasn't home to entertain her at the time.

[DCSL]

Pfft. Flowers = blowjob? No. Cleaning the bathroom thoroughly = blowjob.

[longshot]

Pfft. Flowers = blowjob? No. Cleaning the bathroom thoroughly = blowjob.

This is why marriage counselors and divorce lawyers will never be short of clients...

[DCSL]

Heh, I was kidding. Mostly. An exaggeration of the fact that I find personal effort with obvious thought put into it more sexy and romantic than stopping by Wal-Mart and grabbing a bouquet.

I guess, for me and not necessarily all women, flowers are something stereotypical that men expect all women to like and want. They're something that generally requires no thought, no knowledge of the person you're trying to please, and only a bare modicum of effort. Even a B&N gift card is more personalized to me than a bunch of roses. I don't even like roses!

My point, rambling as it is... The reason I find receiving flowers awkward is because it's kind of a slap in the face. The men I date know pretty much from the get-go that I don't really like or appreciate receiving flowers. When they forget such a basic aspect of my personality, what am I supposed to do? Be pleased? Thank them for lumping me in with the crowd?

And roses. Gawd, how generic and impersonal can you get? At least get a flower I like (peonies and spider chrysanthemums, for the record.)

[Tsa`ah]

I don't think there's a man alive that hasn't let themselves be led to by the nose to something they have absolutely no interest in.

Outside of being honest about a piece of clothing because I was asked to be ... I'd say buying into, despite having knowledge to the contrary, screwing like the last two rabbits on earth without a wrap and knowing she hadn't bothered to pick up her pills in two days because "how likely is it that I'll get pregnant".


Pfft. Flowers = blowjob? No. Cleaning the bathroom thoroughly = blowjob.

You have to give freely to receive freely. Unfortunately men are dumb and gullible and are willing to perform with a vague promise to return the favor at a later date.

[thefarmer]

Got married.

That probably tops my list too.

[radamanthys]

The intention and message behind the flowers is what makes them work. If she's into money, get her a billion roses. Certain types like the "every flower has a meaning" thing. Some just like the thoughtfulness of the "i'm thinking of you even when you're not around" idea. Others just like to show off to others. Still others want a nice decoration for their abode. Even then, some girls just don't like the whole thing, as has been said. In the end, you just gotta be attentive, is all, and know your girl.

[Sean of the Thread]

Ugh... stupidest thing ever was making a mix tape for my first love and hacking her "floppy" journal in english class and inserted a list of clues to find it which ended up at our quiet place by a stream where we'd picnic. /Roll eyes

[Tisket]

Wait... WAIT... WAIT.... You're a chick!? Well damn, now I don't feel nearly as bad about all your anger towards me. Hmm..

I'm angry at you? News to me. There isn't anyone on the boards that has really made me angry. Sorry if you thought so.

[thefarmer]

Ugh... stupidest thing ever was making a mix tape for my first love and hacking her "floppy" journal in english class and inserted a list of clues to find it which ended up at our quiet place by a stream where we'd picnic. /Roll eyes

Neither are that stupid if you got some nookie.

[Drew2]

It was so pathetic she actually cried.

Story of your life.

[Drew2]

I do appreciate the nod of approval though, and sincerely hope you can survive this thread without getting blasted to pieces... it'd be a nice change, and a good confidence booster for you.

Good luck!!

Whoops, sorry.

[longshot]

Whoops, sorry.

That's awesome! I knew it wouldn't last.

I feel like Backlash is a baby sea turtle in every thread he jumps in- you want to root for the little guy to make it, but you just know he's going to get eaten before he ever tastes the ocean.

[Daniel]

Ugh... stupidest thing ever was making a mix tape for my first love and hacking her "floppy" journal in english class and inserted a list of clues to find it which ended up at our quiet place by a stream where we'd picnic. /Roll eyes

ROFL

[TheEschaton]

I have to say, Sean, that's incredibly gay.

[Warriorbird]

There's that one Bloodhound Gang song, E.

[TheEschaton]

I have a story that happened to my sister: some guy had liked her all through college (or was it high school? Dunno), and she knew it, and he knew she knew it. They showed up at the same parties and everything for years because they had similar friends but they themselves weren't friends.

So during senior week, my sister was at a party, and all of a sudden the music screeched to a stop and that song with the lyrics "She fucking hates me..." came on. The guy starts singing it and pointing at my sister. He thought he would win her with that, somehow.

My sister broke him like the pussy he is, though. ;)

[Gan]

Story of your life.


Whoops, sorry.


LOL Tayre.

[BigWorm]

Stupidest thing I've ever done FOR a girl: go to college where she went to college despite getting into better schools. Luckily, I think that was a decision that turned out well regardless.

I did the same thing. She was my first love and I didn't know any better. However, that was during what I like to refer to as my "crazy time" and I made a lot of bad decisions then.

[Stanley Burrell]

Guys, what's been the dumbest/most ridiculous thing you've done for a girl?

Let one go after months of captivity and chloroform.