Crazy Girlfriend

[Arkans]

Okay, so here is another one of these threads.

Truthfully, I'm at a loss as what to do. I know both parties are at fault (I admitted this to her and apologized), but I don't really know how to even approach this. Here goes..

Yesterday, I come home from work and get a call from a friend of mine. He needs a ride into the city. I agree to do this for him. Apparently, though, I promised my girlfriend that we would spend the day together. I honestly forgot and I let it be known.

Needless to say, I offer her to come with me, but she refuses. Instead of reminding me that I made a promise (I know, not her responsibility) she makes stupid remarks under her breath, which just makes me upset.

I ask her why she is doing that and why she feels as though she needs to guilt me into things and it turns out into a screaming match, with her telling me to just go.

I do and on my way to the highway, I get a message from her that she is going to kill herself and says goodbye (emo), so I give out a "What the fuck?" and turn around just to make sure she is safe.

I arrive to her sitting on the couch crying over the situation and demands to be left alone, which I refuse to do. I need to make sure she is okay. She insures me that she will be fine and will not do something stupid and demands that I leave her alone.

I leave (my error), meet up with my friend and we head into Boston. I get a text message from a mutual friend of mine that she had eaten 35 klonopin and drank down a bottle of wine. Luckily, word of this got to her mother and she went to her house to make sure that she was safe.

Everything is fine. There was no suicide, there was just argueing. I finally get home and we have a half-assed discussion. I apologize for forgetting the promise, I do feel bad, but honestly this suicide thing (whether it was a cry for attetion or real) makes me feel very uneasy.

I'm just wondering how to take all this in. We've been living together for about a year, so I would like to resolve this. How you react when you walk in the door from work? What is there for me to even say or do? It's fucked, though, that's for damn sure.

- Arkans

[Drew2]

Careful, you'll get Wezas'd.

Girls sux.

[Arkans]

Not like it matters.

She told everyone in her phone that she was trying to off her self. I got 3,234,645,692 text messages from people how she wants to pwn herself.

- Arkans

[Stretch]

Baggage.

Dump immediately.

[Asha]

GFs are acting crazy all over the world this last few months.
Yours needs serious counselling before you can continue your relationship.
That oughta piss her right off too, so be prepared for complete hell.

It's up to you wether you want to stick by her throughout but you wouldn't be blamed in my book for GTFO.
Good luck either way.

[Arkans]

She does have it, but I do care a shit load about her and I would hate to see that being my undoing.

She helped me out of a horrible methamphetamine addiction, let me stay in her home when I had nothing, and helped me get back on my feet. Few people would really do that.

The fact that I have a somewhat normal life is in large part thanks to her. Now, obviously, I wouldn't fall back into that if I was on my own. I learned and I am stronger than that, but still, few people show that much compassionf or someone.

- Arkans

[Drew2]

It was your fault, but your girlfriend is an overreacting cunt (aka most women).

When you were reminded you had promised to spend the day with her, you should have called your friend and told him he needed to find someone else. And you should have not felt guilty about it; it is not your responsibility to cart around your friends who obviously can't provide for themselves.

[Arkans]

That's the thing, I wasn't reminded, per se.

She did the whole girl, "Great, so we don't get to spend time together", under her breath with an attitude tone.

Keep in mind, she does this shit when I am on my laptop for too long or go do something on my own in the appartment for too long.

Had she said, "Luke, you made a promise to spend the day." I gladly would have told my friend I could not help. I do understand it is not her job to do that, but people forget things, honestly.

- Arkans

[ElanthianSiren]

Most people would probably feel minimized by their SO forgetting about them. I can understand the screaming and general sulky behavior. I understand where she's coming from up until you get to the pill swallowing. The fact that she confided in a mutual friend that she had swallowed pills over this fight also makes her seem manipulative. First, it makes you look bad, especially if that friend is male. Second, it's a power trick, so I understand why it's making you uneasy.

Have you done this type of thing regularly, or does she have a history of psych disorders? Since they're chemical imbalance issues, I'd be more forgiving if she did. However, if you want to stay with her, I think you need to discuss communication.

Her being mad and feeling hurt that you forgot is normal, and I know you realize that since you mentioned it several times in your post. What isn't normal is bottling up those feelings and letting them magnify until you do something stupid (like chase a bunch of pills with alcohol over an argument).

I'm not saying she should stop entirely sulking when she's angry. Everybody sulks or needs time alone IMO occasionally, but she's over the line in this case. Make her get help if she has a history of psych disorders, communicate more and try to communicate efficiently, or dump her.

Efficient communication has little emotion
eg: Luke, I'm mad at you because you forgot we were supposed to spend the day together. I don't like feeling second to your friend (X).
(Insert way to make it up to her -- warning though -- women can be incredibly inventive with ways to torture a neglectful boyfriend).

not eg: Luke, you fucking asshole. I wish I never met you.

[Asha]

God it really makes you wish you were single again.

[Daniel]

This is why I don't do relationships

[Arkans]

Most people would probably feel minimized by their SO forgetting about them. I can understand the screaming and general sulky behavior. I understand where she's coming from up until you get to the pill swallowing. The fact that she confided in a mutual friend that she had swallowed pills over this fight also makes her seem manipulative. First, it makes you look bad, especially if that friend is male. Second, it's a power trick, so I understand why it's making you uneasy.

Have you done this type of thing regularly, or does she have a history of psych disorders? Since they're chemical imbalance issues, I'd be more forgiving if she did. However, if you want to stay with her, I think you need to discuss communication.

Her being mad and feeling hurt that you forgot is normal, and I know you realize that since you mentioned it several times in your post. What isn't normal is bottling up those feelings and letting them magnify until you do something stupid (like chase a bunch of pills with alcohol over an argument).

I'm not saying she should stop entirely sulking when she's angry. Everybody sulks or needs time alone IMO occasionally, but she's over the line in this case. Make her get help if she has a history of psych disorders, communicate more and try to communicate efficiently, or dump her.

Efficient communication has little emotion
eg: Luke, I'm mad at you because you forgot we were supposed to spend the day together. I don't like feeling second to your friend (X).
(Insert way to make it up to her -- warning though -- women can be incredibly inventive with ways to torture a neglectful boyfriend).

not eg: Luke, you fucking asshole. I wish I never met you.


Honestly, this is the first time I have done this. I always go home after work and we spend the day with each other. I usually go out during the weekend (she does with me) and during the week we stay in, save money, and hang out.

Now, the last few days (Sunday, Monday, Tuesday), there have been little arguements here and there. She admits that she is in a bad mood and does not know why and that she will get over it. I, of course, didn't just "give up" I did the boyfriend thing to try and get it out of her, but there is only so much one can do.

She does have a history of disorders. She is on anti-depressants and cymbalta for anxiety / depression. She tried going to counselling, but never sticks with it, saying it doesn't work. I've suggested it so many times.

I really do want to stick it out with her. This is the first "over the top" thing she has done, but how do I know it won't be the last? It leaves me with so many questions, and truthfully, unsure of how to even approach her today after work.

She apologized last night for her behavior and pretty much cried herself to sleep, but not that I don't accept her apology, I do. I apologized as well, I admit when I am wrong, I just still feel strongly affected by this.

- Arkans

[Arkans]

God it really makes you wish you were single again.

I can't echo this enough.

I do like being in a relationship (normal), though. It adds a stability to my life, for the most part, and helps keep my head focused in being responsible (not going out and partying all week), so that is good.

- Arkans

[Tolwynn]

This is the first "over the top" thing she has done, but how do I know it won't be the last?

It won't be, now that she found something that works so well.

[Parkbandit]

She better be able to suck a grapefruit through a garden hose.. because other than acute oral skills, there is no way I would still be with this crazy bitch.

[Gan]

Next time she threatens to off herself, just text back saying do it in the bathtub so she doesnt ruin the mattress/carpet.

Nip that behavior now before (probably already too late) it becomes a permanent fixture.

[Arkans]

It won't be, now that she found something that works so well.

It won't.

I understand people make mistakes and people have problems.

I am willing to stand by her if she wants to fix what is wrong with her. I will stand by if she does not repeat something like this.

Unfortunately, my emotional well being and health are more important to me. I've tried too hard to get to where I am in my life.

I won't turn my back, but still.. Goddamn.

- Arkans

[ElanthianSiren]

Honestly, this is the first time I have done this. I always go home after work and we spend the day with each other. I usually go out during the weekend (she does with me) and during the week we stay in, save money, and hang out.

Now, the last few days (Sunday, Monday, Tuesday), there have been little arguements here and there. She admits that she is in a bad mood and does not know why and that she will get over it. I, of course, didn't just "give up" I did the boyfriend thing to try and get it out of her, but there is only so much one can do.

She does have a history of disorders. She is on anti-depressants and cymbalta for anxiety / depression. She tried going to counselling, but never sticks with it, saying it doesn't work. I've suggested it so many times.

I really do want to stick it out with her. This is the first "over the top" thing she has done, but how do I know it won't be the last? It leaves me with so many questions, and truthfully, unsure of how to even approach her today after work.

She apologized last night for her behavior and pretty much cried herself to sleep, but not that I don't accept her apology, I do. I apologized as well, I admit when I am wrong, I just still feel strongly affected by this.

- Arkans

I didn't mean to imply that you didn't try to ask her what was wrong. Sometimes, people with panic/depressive disorders during an attack don't feel comfortable disclosing their feelings to anyone, even their SO. If you think of what a panic/anxiety/depressive disorder is, this makes sense because people with these disorders are often labelled as "high strung" "high maintainance" or "irrational" which isn't a desirable trait, so they're taught to hide it. This behavior can be magnified even more by negative enviornmental reinforcement (ie being made to feel previously that the disorder is her fault or she's damaged for it). That sounds like the self esteem thing you're mentioning.

If your girlfriend is particularly psych savvy, she's probably anticipating what the therapist will ask her and giving the feedback that she knows will make the person go away; therapy is unpleasant. I don't really reccomend therapy because I don't think it works either :p

Unfortunately, if she's on psych meds, she needs a prescriber. Keep in mind too that some psych meds can make depression worse, especially in the first few weeks you take them. They take awhile to build in your blood, and people become frustrated that they're not receiving relief immediately. If she's recently changed her prescription or gotten on anti-depressives that could definitely explain the past few weeks you're talking about. Some psych meds don't work at all for individual people or need dose changes; in that case, I would have her discuss her meds with her psychiatrist, especially if she has been on them awhile.

You asked if it'll happen again, and the short answer is yes. Something like this will most likely happen again, given the history that you've presented. The thing is that just because she has a panic disorder doesn't mean that she can't learn to trust you more and feel comfortable telling you what's bothering her. Then, you can actually help, as it sounds like you want to. It'd probably also help to tell her that it helps you to help her figure stuff out. Women often feel like they're burdening people with their problems, so it helps to hear that you want to help. Until she learns to talk to you though, you can't do anything. You aren't a jedi mind reader.

[CrystalTears]

Crazy bitch alert!

The problem here is that she seems to be one of those girls who play mind games instead of telling you what she wants. Instead of flat out saying what her problem is, she toys around with bullshit like suicide threats. This attitude is truly unacceptable.

Yeah you offered to help a friend out. And I truly believe that you forgot about the day with your girlfriend. But don't you spend a lot of time with her already? Did you offer to make it up to her and do it another day? What was the big deal with doing something that particular day?

We all get frustrated and bitchy at times, so maybe it was a one time thing, but you really need to keep an eye on that and confront her that suicide threats aren't going to keep you together and only cause you to push away that much more.

[Nieninque]

Looks like a match made in heaven.

[Nieninque]

you should have said:

"Suicide? If you were serious you would have done it by now...!"

[Drew2]

Looks like a match made in heaven.

^^

[Arkans]

She's changed anti-depressants so many times lately.

She went from Cylexa, Cymbalta, Effexxor, you name it she's on it.

Hell, even wellbutrin, ect.

She is on Cylexa and Klonopin right now, but never stays on a anti-depressant long term, because they either don't work or she didn't (that changed) have health insurance.

When she does get depressed, it is about self-image stuff, the fact that she has been unemployed due to a work injury the past year, has no car, and is stuck at home all day. I can appreciate how that sucks. She recently settled and now it is time for her to get a job.

Though, no matter how much she says she wants one, something stops her from really looking. She isn't really lazy or anything it just seems like it is that cycle of depression. When she tells me this, what can I do? I offer to help her make resumes, tell her that she needs to get things rolling, even if just a little at a time, but it seems like nothing works.

She's done so much for me, in fact probably saved my life, so I do everything in my power and will continue. It just doesn't seem to lead anywhere.

I want to help and we discussed this at length last night before bed, but I feel absolutely hollow. I don't feel a single emotion really, just fatigue. What does a person do or say? I will see her today and I want to take positive steps, but I also do not want to indicate that this was okay or will work again.

- Arkans

[ElanthianSiren]

Crazy bitch alert!

The problem here is that she seems to be one of those girls who play mind games instead of telling you what she wants. Instead of flat out saying what her problem is, she toys around with bullshit like suicide threats. This attitude is truly unacceptable.

We all get frustrated and bitchy at times, so maybe it was a one time thing, but you really need to keep an eye on that and confront her that suicide threats aren't going to keep you together and only cause you to push away that much more.


I thought this too, which was why I asked about the mental illness. It's not really a threat when she goes through with it. It's more carelessly putting your life in the hands of people around you. That's a clear cut sign of mental illness and dependency issues, which are pretty commonly combined with depression from what I understand. It's kind of "if you really love me, you'll ... " on a really big scale since the ... is "save my life."

It depends on how he confronts her. Talking to someone who is depressed is like walking a thin line. You have to be firm but understanding. That's a tough balance. In this case, since he's not a removed party (like a psychiatrist/psychologist), he also has to keep in mind what he can and can't live with when setting the rules IMO. If you come out swinging, you're just adding to the tendency they already have to bottle things up.

[Sean of the Thread]

If I were to ever commit suicide I'd just find a convenient place to cause the least trauma and clean up to others. I wouldn't be text messaging or sending aims out to people.

Or if I was in my burning truck trapped unable to escape I'd off myself.


Anyways dump that ho and get your life moving. She's going to be an anchor.

[CrystalTears]

How long does she stay on the medication before she decides it's not working? Being on it for a month and then quitting is not enough of a committment time for depression medication.

[Arkans]

I don't know why that day was so important. We hang out every afternoon.

I made it known that I would make it up to her. I take her out a lot. We have a shit ton of fun. We sit together and watch tv after I get back from work, talk, have fun, whatever. I know she looks forward to seeing me and when you are in a relationship, you can't ignore your loved one and just run with your old friends all day every day like you used to, but I wish that was the case. It seems like it was something that finally set her off.

- Arans

[Parkbandit]

This is pretty much the only time I'll ever agree with Dirty Harry:

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e6/belike53/280175864_5daa972730_o.jpg

[Arkans]

I would say 2-3 weeks is a fair estimation.

Her longest was Effexxor, which was good until her health insurance ran out. She couldn't afford the $160 a month for a script.

They put her on Cymbalta, which she can do just fine (she got a ton of those sample packs), because of MassHealth.

- Arkans

[Arkans]

:rofl:

I needed the laugh, PB.

- Arkans

[CrystalTears]

I don't know why that day was so important. We hang out every afternoon.

I made it known that I would make it up to her. I take her out a lot. We have a shit ton of fun. We sit together and watch tv after I get back from work, talk, have fun, whatever. I know she looks forward to seeing me and when you are in a relationship, you can't ignore your loved one and just run with your old friends all day every day like you used to, but I wish that was the case. It seems like it was something that finally set her off.

- Arans
Are you hanging out with your friends a lot? I'm not sure what you mean by "finally set her off".

And honestly, she has to learn to be without you too. If you are to become a serious relationship, she needs to learn to cope on her own. She can't be dependant on you, or you on her. You both need alone time with other friends or whatever.

And 2-3 weeks to try out a depression medication is hardly enough time for it to be truly effective. It's not Tylenol.

[Arkans]

No, that's the thing.

We got a place and I live 30 minutes + away from them.

I also get up at 5 am every day to get to work, so I don't do anything during the week.

I do hang out with them during the weekend when at a rave. She goes to them too, though. In fact, she has been going to raves longer than I have, so it's nothing she gets "dragged" too.

It just sucks to see friends so rarely and just at a party. It's a different atmosphere and when two people hang out, you really get to chill out and talk about how things are going rather than be "GODDAMN THIS PARTY ROXORZ!"

- Arkans

[AnticorRifling]

Dump her. Now that she knows all she has to do is guilt you and send you an emo text to wrap you around her finger she'll do it again. Congrats she cried wolf and you went running.

If she cared about you she wouldn't be putting you through the emotional rollercoaster of a threatened suicide just to get a rise out of you.

Run.

[CrystalTears]

Do friends go over to your house to hang out, or do you and them prefer to go out instead?

I just don't think she was being fair to you in this situation.

[Parkbandit]

I just don't think she was being fair to you in this situation.

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e6/belike53/understatement_of_the_year_award.jpg
.

[Arkans]

Well, in the party scene everyone knows each other. We all are friends, but some people you are closer to than others.

We had a house party last night (first one) and it was a blast. Everyone had fun.

When people come over, it is usually these two, Ralphy and Malyssa. Both are good kids, both are friends of mine, and I like them both. I've known Malyssa as long as Chelle (my gf) has and she has known Ralphy about a year longer than me.

Sure, they are my friends, but I still see them as more "her friends", you know? The people I usually hang around parties (who she is friendly with on the same level) came over for the house party and have a blast.

It was their first time. Not because they were not invited, but they really either don't drive (people in the rave scene just can't drive, wtf), have work, or do things locally, which they always invite me out to.

- Arkans

[CrystalTears]

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e6/belike53/understatement_of_the_year_award.jpg
.

Joke around, but he's dealing with a depressed girl and I'm sympathetic to that since I married someone who is clinically depressed. I'm not one to run from someone just because they have baggage. Someone needs to be there for them, and if Arkans is that guy, I'd like to be there for him and support his decision to be with her.

[Skeeter]

co-dependency mixed with drug addiction, emo, and crazy sounds like an appealing combo.

If you enjoy constant drama in your life stay with this chick.

[ElanthianSiren]

She's changed anti-depressants so many times lately.

She went from Cylexa, Cymbalta, Effexxor, you name it she's on it.

Hell, even wellbutrin, ect.

She is on Cylexa and Klonopin right now, but never stays on a anti-depressant long term, because they either don't work or she didn't (that changed) have health insurance.

When she does get depressed, it is about self-image stuff, the fact that she has been unemployed due to a work injury the past year, has no car, and is stuck at home all day. I can appreciate how that sucks. She recently settled and now it is time for her to get a job.

Though, no matter how much she says she wants one, something stops her from really looking. She isn't really lazy or anything it just seems like it is that cycle of depression. When she tells me this, what can I do? I offer to help her make resumes, tell her that she needs to get things rolling, even if just a little at a time, but it seems like nothing works.

She's done so much for me, in fact probably saved my life, so I do everything in my power and will continue. It just doesn't seem to lead anywhere.

I want to help and we discussed this at length last night before bed, but I feel absolutely hollow. I don't feel a single emotion really, just fatigue. What does a person do or say? I will see her today and I want to take positive steps, but I also do not want to indicate that this was okay or will work again.

- Arkans

The med changes are part of the problem. Initially, anti-depressives DO make you depressed. If she's sticking with them for a few weeks only, she's cycling that initial depression over and over again. They need to build in a person's system, so she needs to choose one and stick to it. Take it every day like a BC pill, same time etc. If she's on BC, encourage her to take them together.

What you're describing sounds like teaching someone how to be an adult again; no wonder you're friggin tired! I'm not sure it was good advice to tell her that she could do a little at a time. It's like kicking. You can't kick if you just say... "I'll only take half as much heroin as I did yesterday" and keep all your rigs.

It sounds like her depression is pulling you down with her. Try to find something new to do together that you've never done before, even if it's just hanging out somewhere you've never been, playing a game you never have, hell, doing a puzzle you never have. -Anything that's new. Seeing, doing, and creating new things tends to energize people, so it'll be good for you too, most likely.

As far as helping her with jobs/resumes, it'd probably help to find a way to entice her. She has no car? Well, if she gets a job, she'll be able to afford one. People with depression are highly focused in the present, so remind her that there's also a future. I don't know what her life plans are, but it helps to realize that the future starts now. If you want to stay with her, tell her that you will do everything in your power to help take care of her but stress that she has to meet you half way. You can't do it for her.

[Trouble]

It sounds like a dependent relationship that 'grew up' and now she can't handle it. She helped you through your shit and you depended on her for it and she loved it. Now that you have your life together and don't need her as much, she is lacking the fulfillment she craves. The anti-depressants won't take the place of someone depending on her, which is why they aren't working. Yes there's probably more to it than that, but that's my spin in it.

I agree with the others, get out before things get worse.

To our lawyer types, what happens if he dumps her and she tries the suicide thing again but actually does do it? Could her family sue him or something crazy like that?

[Arkans]

It's easy to say jump ship and believe me, most would.

The thing is, this girl met me when I was spiraling at my worse. I was hooked on glass, then selling the shit, and finally making the shit. How many people would care enough to find someone so deep into that and actually get them to quit that life-style?

Our lives don't revolve around drug addiction. We both use recreationally and only on weekends, that is it. Nothing more during week. Hell, normally I would be high as a kite to cope with this, but no, I am resolute in not falling into the trap.

She has the money for a car, she got a $24,000 settlement, so she can afford a decent one. Once again, I offer to go with her all the time to look. I don't know if the depo-shot does silly things, but she has done that for a year, too.

The thing is, it isn't constant drama. This came out of nowhere. Sure, she gets moody and sad like girls, but it always passed. I've known her for a year a *NEVER* had something like this happen before.

This was back when she was partying more, not getting treatement, or anything of the sort, which is what makes it weird.

- Arkans

[Trouble]

How many people would care enough to find someone so deep into that and actually get them to quit that life-style?

She needs to be needed. You were a drug to her. Now that you don't need her, she's suffering withdrawls.

[ElanthianSiren]

Holy shit...depoprovera? That's a huge shot of progesterone. Look up the side effects -- moodiness, weight gain, irritability. In the female ovarian cycle, it's the high progesterone/low estrogen that causes PMS.

You mention treatment; again, anti-depressives initially cause people to be depressed.

The car thing is interesting. What reasons does she give for not going? BTW it's nice of you to offer to go. Car salesmen are asses in general.

[Arkans]

It just doesn't materialize. You know, a lot of small things come up, and there is no time.

Not by my own doing, but by hers. She either gets lazy and would rather sit and hang out with me or she gets caught up with something else.

My approach has been to encourage her and offer her assistance, but I haven't actually gotten firm and said, "Okay, we are doing this now!" It's not the type of relationship I want to have. I want to be a boyfriend and not a father, to her.

I'll offer her all the resources I can give, but she needs to actually do what needs to be done. It could be the anti-depressives, I won't doubt that. She has been happy some days, though. I wouldn't say manic, but in a decent mood, like anyone else.

I mean, she already passed by the "Sleep all day, cause these meds drain your life" stage, so doesn't that mean her body is adjusted?

- Arkans

[Arkans]

She needs to be needed. You were a drug to her. Now that you don't need her, she's suffering withdrawls.

She says she loves helping people and doesn't like turning her back on them, yes.

Saying I have no use for her is a bit much, though she always asks why I keep staying with her. Like, "Luke, why you stay in this relationship with me?" ect. ect.

Sure, it's emo, but why wouldn't I want someone that genuinely gives a fuck about my well being in my life?

- Arkans

[ElanthianSiren]

It just doesn't materialize. You know, a lot of small things come up, and there is no time.

Not by my own doing, but by hers. She either gets lazy and would rather sit and hang out with me or she gets caught up with something else.

My approach has been to encourage her and offer her assistance, but I haven't actually gotten firm and said, "Okay, we are doing this now!" It's not the type of relationship I want to have. I want to be a boyfriend and not a father, to her.

I'll offer her all the resources I can give, but she needs to actually do what needs to be done. It could be the anti-depressives, I won't doubt that. She has been happy some days, though. I wouldn't say manic, but in a decent mood, like anyone else.

I mean, she already passed by the "Sleep all day, cause these meds drain your life" stage, so doesn't that mean her body is adjusted?

- Arkans

I've never heard of someone on anti depressives sleeping all day because they drain your life that much. That may be just me. I do however know that they can initially make the depression worse then that can fade. As for being adjusted or not adjusted, IMO you're adjusted when you stop wondering when the pills will work or if they're working. I wouldn't say she's adjusted to the medicine at all, especially given her behavior. Encourage her to take them at exactly the same time every day.

Why don't you try waiting til she's up, dressed etc... then saying "Hey do you want to go look at cars today?" When she says she wants to... grab her and go immediately.

[Arkans]

Speaking of cars...

She just called me to tell me that she bought a car. I guess her mom took her. She did take my advice on the type of car and not her mother's, thank God. She sounds happier for sure, but truthfully, that really isn't on my radar right now.

I'm more concerned how fucked the other night was. I'm not getting myself trapped into some yo-yo of SMILE FROWN SMILE FROWN.

It'll fuck with my mental integrity.

- Arkans

[daisey]

Sounds like she's an attention whore that needs serious help. My two friends that committed suicide, never mentioned it. Not even once. IMO people that threaten and talk about it just want attention. Talk to her parents and have her committed. I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to do because she's told everyone she's going to off herself.
edit to add- even using drugs on the weekend would feed depression. I stand by my comment about putting her in a hospital. You can't help her.

[Nieninque]

It'll fuck with my mental integrity.

- Arkans

ROFL

[Arkans]

lmao

I lol'd too.

- Arkans

[Asha]

Discipline your woman, Luke.

[iJin]

Wait, did you say you both share the activity of using drugs?


Ugh..

[Arkans]

Yes, on the weekends, we use drugs recreationally.

- Arkans

[Skeeter]

She went and bought a car today out of the blue? Yet another enormous RED FLAG. This chick craves drama. From what you have described she is clearly co-dependent as you were while cracked out.

As you get your shit together she will either make your life continually more miserable or she will find someone else that needs to be saved.

[CrystalTears]

How about you not do that anymore? I dunno, just a shot? Her on depressives AND recreational drugs is not a good combination, probably making her situation worse.

[iJin]

Fucking stupid IMO

Also the way you say "recreationally", like its supposed to make the "Hey guys I use drugs with my girlfriend who is on anti-depressants" sound like its RIGHT to use drugs.


How extremely and utterly careless of you and your girlfriend.

[Arkans]

I cannot physical stop her from using drugs. I can warn her about interactions, what might happen, but in the end, I can't stop her actions. I've seen so many couples try that and fall apart it is ridiculous.

- Arkans

[Asha]

Holy shit though. you will fuck yourself right up messing with your seratonin like that.
Because of the anti-depressants you can get too manic too fast and go nuts, then on the come down, can have you in a hole you'd do something crazy to get out of.

No offence mate, it sounds like she supported you when she should have kicked you to the kerb.
And you just feel required to help her because of this I bet.
She needs serious help, and when she's better you can maybe talk again.

[iJin]

That has to be the lamest excuse for not trying to help out someone with drug use ever.

She's your fucking girlfriend. You say you do it WITH her. You're not helping the situation with blowing, smoking, snorting or anything of the sort with her and thinking, "Hey, we both love doing this and I don't want to stop her cause I don't want to cause any relationship problems/or cause I fucking enjoy it too".

This relationship is not going to last for much longer. I assure you.

[Gan]

This thread is just...



WOW.

I would like to thank the OP for reminding me that no matter how crazy my life gets... it can always get worse.

:ultimate:

[CrystalTears]

After people pointed out the recreational drug use and then seeing the reaction to that, I think you're both up shit's creek without paddles.

Either drop the drugs altogether, or don't complain about the mental instability of your girlfriend when you're helping perpetuate it.

[Arkans]

When you live with someone what options do you have? I can't forcefully stop her from doing it.

Best I can do is ask for her to stop (I'd stop doing it, too), hell I know I have before and she complied (as did I).

Permantly? I have absolutely no idea how to even approach that.

- Arkans

[ViridianAsp]

Yeah, I have to agree with Zuie, she's on anti-depressants and using drugs? WTF? No wonder she had a "I'm going to off myself!" episode.

One, it doesn't sound like she's looking for attention, it sounds like she needs real fucking help and to be on an anti-depressant consistently, hell even if your insurance won't pay for it and they want to put her on something else, doctors are usually good about giving you samples till they can help you find a solution.

TWO, STOP DOING DRUGS. I know you say you do it casually, but you're a former meth addict, don't you think that might just lead you into another addiction? And your girlfriend shouldn't do anything (drinking, drugs) while on anti-depressants.

Three, sounds like you both need to be more considerate of eachother's feelings, you sound like you are on the right track but yeah...

[iJin]

Get the fucking drugs out of the goddamn apartment, throw them away. That's a good start right there. If she sees YOU quitting before her, and if you have ANY influence in her life, she'll do the same.

Quit being a dumbass thinking you can't do anything to stop it. Cause you can. Sounds to me like you don't want to.

[Arkans]

It's just the philosphy of life I have. "Do what you please", y'know? Give all the information and let another make the choice, unfortunately this seems to be the fall out.

It's been done before and I think the drug use is just another block in the whole entire problem. It's not like we keep this shit all over the place. Not at all.

It's all solid advice, believe me, I understand where it is coming from. For me, there is no chance of me slipping back into addiction. Regardless, I do agree, it's time to revaluate our life-style. Trust me, drugs aren't that important. What is actually being happy where I am and with what I have.

- Arkans

[Gan]

Drugz R bad...


mmmkay?

[Nieninque]

Once a druggie...

[Parkbandit]

Once a druggie...

Now now.. not everyone is a Stainley. I did some recreational drugs in college.. I have no interest in doing so today.

[Asha]

Now now.. not everyone is a Stainley. I did some recreational drugs in college.. I have no interest in doing so today.

^^^

[Sean of the Thread]

I did some recreational Ritalin 4th thru 10th grades.. oh those were the days!!

[Arkans]

Truthfully, recreational use would not be an issue if I was single. I'd work, pay bills, hang out with friends.

That isn't the case, it appears. She will want to do what I do. Sometimes it's hard to see the simple things.

It's not a hard sacrifice to say, so I don't see how the druggie comment rings true here.

My only mistake was not putting her medication into the equation and using whether you are addicted or not as a measure of there being a problem.

It's a start.

- Arkans

[Nieninque]

Now now.. not everyone is a Stainley. I did some recreational drugs in college.. I have no interest in doing so today.

Pretty sure you were never a smackhead in college though, so it's somewhat different.

[Parkbandit]

Pretty sure you were never a smackhead in college though, so it's somewhat different.


I'll give you that. Now answer your fucking PM.

[Nieninque]

I didn't get a pop up.
Have answered now.

[Jenisi]

Maybe you should "set the example" and stop using drugs and hope she hops on the bandwagon. She helped you through some hard shit as you said so maybe it's your turn to do some sacrificing in order to help her. What she did is obviously more than a typical girl freak out over something stupid. Obviously she is in dier need of attention, so probally skipping out on her when she's already feeling lonely just hit the nail on the head for her.

If you don't wanna stop using drugs and just wanna see her go down this shitty path because there is "nothing you can physically do".. I suppose you could try and start being sweet and tell her you're going to have a "just for her" night or something once a week so she knows you care enough and that way you won't forget cuz it's "every Thursday night" for example (hard to forget) and maybe look at her other behavioral patterns to see where she seems to be having issues with and do something to uplift her spirits.

Make sure she KNOWS you care and don't just tell her, show her. Actions always speak louder than words when it comes to women. And if you do something suprising, it'll show her that you were thinking about her aside from being with her which will help with the "no one cares about me" issues.

[Sean of the Thread]

I skipped the whole recreational drug use thing in college. I made recreation use of women and bourbon instead.

I did once wear (I know this is wrong but save it Wayne) my enlisted blue dress C uniform to my sister's college graduation and ended up at some house graduation party at UF (one of many that night) where I shouted FLORIDA HIGHWAY PATROL! upon entrance at which point about 25 people choked on their bongs.

Needless to say after about 30 seconds of awkward silence we were asked to leave. Good times.

[Asha]

Nice sig

[Dropped_In]

In my experience with the drama/crazy bitch department, between the suicide threat and the car purchase, my instinct would be to say that the girl in question is grappling with some sort of moral ambiguity or past act that she doesn't want to/or can't present to discuss with the guy. Eventually she will disclose what it is (very soon), but it will inevitably be in a messed up drama-accompanied way.

[ElanthianSiren]

Nien, that was a dumbass statement to make. I know a few people who did drugs who are total straight edges now. No smoking, no drugs, no drinking. There is just some shit that once you see it, it will scare you straight. Having kids is one of those major areas for some people. -But I guess everyone out there who is NA/AA is still a druggie as much as the individual out looking for heroin.

In the case of this, however, I believe there's a lot more going on and applaud the OPs decision to take a look at the environment. Drugs are damaging to self esteem, which your gf already has issues with, and they often interfere with anti-depressants.

First, Klonopin is a Benzodiazepine, so it's a depressant. It can cause paralasys of the phrenic nerve, which means you stop breathing when combined with alcohol. It can also cause nausea and hypotension when combined with alcohol; hypotension is not something to fuck with. It can kill you if it's sharp enough. It can also exacerbate psychotic behavior, so whomever is prescribing your gf drugs needs to think about the fact that they're giving her a depressant which interacts poorly with anti-depressants.

Celexa also has interactions with alcohol, MAO inhibitors etc. Supposedly, mixing it with alcohol can actually INCREASE depression.

Both drugs interact poorly with ecstasy (can't say I'm surprised), which increases psychotic behavior on them and can cause CNS disturbances and heart failure (Celexa).

Seems MJ has the same effect as alcohol because they're both depressants.

Without knowing exactly what you're taking, I can't tell you what's interfering with what, but I can tell you mixing anti-depressants and depressants is generally bad.

[Nieninque]

Nien, that was a dumbass statement to make. I know a few people who did drugs who are total straight edges now. No smoking, no drugs, no drinking. There is just some shit that once you see it, it will scare you straight. Having kids is one of those major areas for some people. -But I guess everyone out there who is NA/AA is still a druggie as much as the individual out looking for heroin.

Damn.
Stupid bitch thinks I made a dumbass statement about smackhead (ooops, "ex"-smackhead) trying to justify his continual "recreational" drug use with his druggie girlfriend who is also taking her "recreational" drugs with a healthy dose of anti-depressants and then acting like she is fucked in the head.
Ah well, I'll live with it.

As I said before, seems like a match made in heaven.

[Sean of the Thread]

GAH YOU'RE SUCH A DUMBASS NIEN

[ElanthianSiren]

Damn.
Stupid bitch thinks I made a dumbass statement about smackhead (ooops, "ex"-smackhead) trying to justify his continual "recreational" drug use with his druggie girlfriend who is also taking her "recreational" drugs with a healthy dose of anti-depressants and then acting like she is fucked in the head.
Ah well, I'll live with it.

As I said before, seems like a match made in heaven.

No, you made a dumbass statement characterizing all individuals who have EVER used drugs or been addicted as continual junkies. I'm not the only one to call you on your stupidity. Having an addiction in your past doesn't qualify a person as an active user, except in your mind, I suppose.

If you back up, you'll realize my comment was outside the response to Arkans. I simply don't appreciate your mentality on the subject, in general, because it's quite flawed in my experience. But hey, maybe those AA/NA meetings are all about smoking dope together in dirty churches LOL

[Arkans]

I know anti-depressants prevent ecstasy from working. The brain down regulates how much serotonin can be released, thus making the pill of ecstasy ineffective.

She rarely drinks as it is. Fucks with her stomach, used to party and drink a lot, but not anymore. I think she drank last weekend for the first time in months and that bottle of wine was just a left over from a packy run.

Her drugs of choice for a weekend is either ketamine or methamphetamine (which is more to keep her awake than the euphoria), but that's it. It's not heavy by any stretch, but I am sure that amount can still fuck those neurotransmitters.

- Arkans

[Asha]

At least Ketted up she's out of your hair and you can go party without worrying she's gonna drink bleach.
Just give her enough :)

[Nieninque]

No, you made a dumbass statement characterizing all individuals who have EVER used drugs or been addicted as continual junkies. I'm not the only one to call you on your stupidity. Having an addiction in your past doesn't qualify a person as an active user, except in your mind, I suppose.

If you back up, you'll realize my comment was outside the response to Arkans. I simply don't appreciate your mentality on the subject, in general, because it's quite flawed in my experience. But hey, maybe those AA/NA meetings are all about smoking dope together in dirty churches LOL

Spoken like a good little druggie.

[Sean of the Thread]

ROFL@ taking special-K as recreational with her problems.

That shit will fuck up your brain worse than heroin can.

[Nieninque]

I'm not the only one to call you on your stupidity.

Ignoring your misconception about what you call stupidity (I call it razor sharp wit and profound insight), you are the only one to call me on anything, because you are the only person who missed the point.

Now fuck off...little a good little girl.

[Arkans]

ROFL@ taking special-K as recreational with her problems.

That shit will fuck up your brain worse than heroin can.


lmao

Do you care to elaborate on this or just make a random statement?

- Arkans

PS: You're wrong

[Gan]

lmao

Do you care to elaborate on this or just make a random statement?

- Arkans

PS: You're wrong

Yes, because recreational drug use is all good.

This thread proves it!!!

[ElanthianSiren]

Spoken like a good little druggie.

ROFL yeah okay. Here's a clue for the clueless -- you don't know me.

Calling me a druggie is a bit like trying to pass yourself off as smart or witty; it just doesn't wash.

[Sean of the Thread]

lmao

Do you care to elaborate on this or just make a random statement?

- Arkans

PS: You're wrong

Only a few keystrokes away to find out the long term effects and compare them to heroin.

[ElanthianSiren]

lmao

Do you care to elaborate on this or just make a random statement?

- Arkans

PS: You're wrong

He probably made that statement because K slows impulses through your brain. You're going to get a compounding effect. I'm less worried about the K though and more worried about the meth. In general, people shouldn't do drugs, but you really shouldn't mess with mixing strong depressants, especially CNS ones and depressants and stimulants. The compensation by your body can kill you. It's no wonder your GF is going nuts, but I'm looking for more concrete information. Thing is, my medicine text books are generally NOT for illegal drugs :P

[Nieninque]

I always had Arkans down for a dead loss, but if his life has come down to the point of taking advice from you, there is really no hope.

Poor little druggie and poor deluded tart.

[Arkans]

I have read about them both.

The thing is, while I am sure light drug use might have some say in this problem, I doubt it is the sole issue. I understand one step at a time, but blaming it 100%? I think the problem needs to be tackled as a whole.

The drugs aren't used at the same time. She'll do the K, it wears off, later on in the night she'll get sleepy (as all people do) and she'll do a bump of glass.

When the party is over she does sleep (as I do) and this goes on for no longer than 1 night.

Does this freak out have to do with recreational drugs? I mean, they didn't help, but she was already rested, ate, drank, and all seemed well when I spoke to her via texts during the day.

- Arkans

[BigWorm]

Ignoring your misconception about what you call stupidity (I call it razor sharp wit and profound insight), you are the only one to call me on anything, because you are the only person who missed the point.

Now fuck off...little a good little girl.

You forgot to say how humble you are too.

[CrystalTears]

You're so quick to dismiss it though, which is why I've stopped trying to help.

[Arkans]

See it as a loss if you will.

I hate drinking and how it feels, but I still like to enjoy myself.

I'll continue my route of moderation and becoming successful.

If moderation means stopping for the sake of someone else, that's cool, not a big deal at all.

- Arkans

[Nieninque]

You forgot to say how humble you are too.

Good point...that too.

[Arkans]

Oh, I'm not. I readily admit that a role is played with chemical balances. All people are different too.

When I come down, I am fine, enjoy myself, and am no worse for wear.

When my friend's GF comes down, she goes psychotic and cries.

Same amount, same everything. It's not for her, so she doesn't do it.

Could this be Chelle's problem? Good chance of it. I hardly dismiss that notion.

- Arkans

[Nieninque]

See it as a loss if you will.

I hate drinking and how it feels,

So don't drink. There, that was easy, wasn't it?


but I still like to enjoy myself.

I'll continue my route of moderation and becoming successful.

It sounds like youre a roaring success at the moment.


If moderation means stopping for the sake of someone else, that's cool, not a big deal at all.

- Arkans

And yet, when anyone points out the bleeding obvious to you, you tell them that's not the problem and it's all under control.

Tosser.

[Nieninque]

You're so quick to dismiss it though, which is why I've stopped trying to help.

It's one of those "plz hpel" threads that are more like "HAY GUSY! LUK @ ME!"

[Arkans]

You fail at reading, unfortunately.

I do not believe it to be 100% of the problem. I readily admit that it may have something to do with it.

I don't drink. Simple as that.

Also, I am fairly successful. Job that pays well, good health, bills payed, I'm generally happy, this is more for somebody that I care about.

We all have shit that happens to use, but rather than hiding in a chemical haze I'd rather do what I can.

- Arkans

[Nieninque]

It may not be 100% of the problem, BUT IT SURE PLAYS A PART, DUMBASS!

[CrystalTears]

You fail at reading, unfortunately.

I do not believe it to be 100% of the problem. I readily admit that it may have something to do with it.
But what you fail to comprehend is that just because it's not 100% of the problem doesn't mean it's not anything to worry about. Evidently it's a lot of things causing problems. Removing the obvious problem is a step in the right direction. Dismissing it as "not the real issue" is just making excuses and not dealing with the problem at all.

[Arkans]

I must have come across poorly in making my point.

I meant to remove the obvious and proceed onward not just dismiss it.

On a strange note, apparanently she bought me presents and shit today.

WTF?

- Arkans

[ElanthianSiren]

I have read about them both.

The thing is, while I am sure light drug use might have some say in this problem, I doubt it is the sole issue. I understand one step at a time, but blaming it 100%? I think the problem needs to be tackled as a whole.

The drugs aren't used at the same time. She'll do the K, it wears off, later on in the night she'll get sleepy (as all people do) and she'll do a bump of glass.

When the party is over she does sleep (as I do) and this goes on for no longer than 1 night.

Does this freak out have to do with recreational drugs? I mean, they didn't help, but she was already rested, ate, drank, and all seemed well when I spoke to her via texts during the day.

- Arkans


The reason drug tables exist is to try to guage interactions (and so doctors don't get sued). I doubt it's entirely the cause. I don't believe that you can point at one thing and say that it is the SOLE cause of her flipping out. When you start putting things together though, you get a snowball effect, which is why I started out asking you questions. Your GF is using quite a few prescription drugs. I could argue that the doc that prescribed them didn't do his research, but it's totally possible he knows something I don't about the chemical interaction between all three (Celexa, Depo, and Klonopin). Biochem wasn't really my thing (though I do find it pretty interesting).

Your lifestyle is definitely contributing hugely because on top of those three drugs, she's introduced two wild card drugs that she most likely isn't telling her doctor about. Methamphetamines should never be combined with the anti depressant she's on, even for a pick me up or whatever she's doing with them. First off, they can cause panic attacks, which she's medicating to stop. They can also cause people to be hyper sensitive, deluded, and paranoid, which sounds familiar to your situation. They're also highly addictive.

With the K, she's messing with how much of both her celexa and klonopin are absorbed, which could lead into taking more of the two non-injected prescriptions to try to cover, which is going to exacerbate any side effects she has from them. You see how this gets cyclical right?

So sole thing? No

Added to normal non-communacative womanly flipoutness of feeling second to your friend, abso-friggin-lutely.

[Sean of the Thread]

Dude she's bi-polar just from the drug use alone. MANIC / MANIA

[ElanthianSiren]

I must have come across poorly in making my point.

I meant to remove the obvious and proceed onward not just dismiss it.

On a strange note, apparanently she bought me presents and shit today.

WTF?

- Arkans

That's not weird at all. Study more psychology, including a good diagram of the cycle of abuse/dependence. You already knew she was feeling guilty aka the crying etc.

[Arkans]

I follow what you're saying. Now, would more prescription drug absorbing be due to her taking a higher dose or the body just metabolizing it less efficiently?

I mean, obviously, she needs to this first step, but trying to reason with knowledge might help a bit as well.

I do something think the doctor was a little... silly with the prescription drugs. She is on 6 mg per day of Klonopin. Shit load of benzo, if you ask me. Been that way for a while.

- Arkans

[Skeeter]

I agree with Sean2

[Arkans]

Oh, no, I know about the cycle. I'm just trying to justify somehow to myself that it isn't it, but I doubt lying to myself'll get me very far.

- Arkans

[The Ponzzz]

Honestly, this is like highschool shit. If my girlfriend threatened to commit suicide and then pulled that shit trying to OD, I'd be done with them right then and there. No one needs that drama. "You didn't do something with me, I'm going to kill myself!!" Seriously, wtf. Check her into a Psychiatric Emergency room and leave her ass there. Care for her or not, no one needs that garbage in their life.

[Keller]

I didn't wade through the of responses, so I apologize if this is re-hashing other people's points:

(1) She's got psychological problems. If you enjoy being co-dependent and think that's a healthy lifestyle -- then by all means stay in the relationship. If you want to move on with your life and continue to grow as a person -- get the fuck out now.

(2) If you're going to stay -- set some boundries. It sounds like she's treating you like her little bitch. And you let her.

[Deza]

As someone who has been on a lot of different anti-depressants over the years, if she's not taking her pills on a regular basis, there's absolutely no way for a doctor to know if it's the right dosage or not. Taking it for a month and then stopping doesn't do anything except waste some time.

Sorry you're going through this. :(

[ElanthianSiren]

K's absorbtion is compounding because the transmitters for K have nothing to do with the transmitters for her two prescriptions but the two drugs produce similar effects in the body. Transmitters are shape specific, so they selectively bind chemicals.

Back to the part I was initially concerned about though:
Celexa inhibits uptake of norepi, epi, and dopamine, which is why it makes you happy. The receptor is full, so the drug is working, and the receptor STAYS full, due to the half life of the drug. What she's doing when she's taking meth is releasing more epi and norepi, AND dopamine; however, not all drug half lives are the same. This means that her SSRI that's trying to get in is getting pissed out each time she takes this drug. So she has HUGE doses of fight hormones going on, and her medication isn't being absorbed. This means, she's missing doses, and hence the emotional rollercoastering.

I'm not sure you can reason this. Emotions are tough to reason out, which is why I suggested removing them all together initially. I didn't realize other drugs were involved.

Edit: I should add you have way more receptors for epi and norepi than dopamine. Think of it this way: epi and norepi are your fight or flight hormones. Dopamine is your "Damn that sex was good" hormone. In an emergency situation, do you want to be in the "Damn that sex was good" frame of mind or "Holy shit... kill/run!!"

[Arkans]

It's why I wanther to stick to this one and try to encourage that. She would have stayed on Effexxor had her insurance not ran out for a bit and it cost over $100 to fill. On top of her klonopin, which were $60, it gets pricey. So, they did another one of the free samples.

She can, luckily, stay on the current ones (Cymbalta), since insurance will not go away and make them astronimically priced.

- Arkans

[Arkans]

K's absorbtion is compounding because the transmitters for K have nothing to do with the transmitters for her two prescriptions but the two drugs produce similar effects in the body. Transmitters are shape specific, so they selectively bind chemicals.

Back to the part I was initially concerned about though:
Celexa inhibits uptake of norepi, epi, and dopamine, which is why it makes you happy. The receptor is full, so the drug is working, and the receptor STAYS full, due to the half life of the drug. What she's doing when she's taking meth is releasing more epi and norepi, AND dopamine; however, not all drug half lives are the same. This means that her SSRI that's trying to get in is getting pissed out each time she takes this drug. So she has HUGE doses of fight hormones going on, and her medication isn't being absorbed. This means, she's missing doses, and hence the emotional rollercoastering.

I'm not sure you can reason this. Emotions are tough to reason out, which is why I suggested removing them all together initially. I didn't realize other drugs were involved.


No, no, I'm following quite well.

This happened after the high and come down from the methamphetamine. That means, reuptake of the norepi, noreph, and dopamine has already begun, no?

That was my reasoning behind it, hell, the shortage of those neurotransmitters after using (as the brain replenishes) could be what the deal is.

As a side note, she is taking an SNRI. So, isn't the only neuro transmitter being affected by her anti-depressant a Norepiniphrine (which is affect greatly by d-meth)?

- Arkans

[TheEschaton]

Hi,

I just got to the part where you're both using drugs recreationally even though she's on ADs and you have a former meth addiction.

As a former addict myself, I think it would be most beneficial to both you and her to quit immediately. I tried "recreational" use and the party scene for a bit after I got clean, and it just cycled back into dependency. Once an addict, always an addict. I've been clean for 10 years now, and I still have a hankering relatively often that I have to resist.

Edit: From the rest of your posts, you're excusing your recreational use completely - avoidance, imho, a classic sign of dependence. You say the drugs "aren't that important", yet you can't fathom broaching the subject of being clean indefinitely.

[Some Rogue]

Once an addict, always an addict.

OMG U R DUM!!!1111

[Deza]

It's why I wanther to stick to this one and try to encourage that. She would have stayed on Effexxor had her insurance not ran out for a bit and it cost over $100 to fill. On top of her klonopin, which were $60, it gets pricey. So, they did another one of the free samples.

She can, luckily, stay on the current ones (Cymbalta), since insurance will not go away and make them astronimically priced.

- Arkans

If she stays on it, more power to her. But from what you've mentioned, she kind of has a cycle of not staying on it. Being able to and being willing to are totally different. :( I am able to stay on mine because the military provides them to me for free, but after a few months of feeling better, I fall into a pattern of "I don't need these anymore!" and I am unwilling to stay on them.

Until I start crying a couple weeks later and can't stop.

I'd just keep an eye on them to help her. I'm not saying you can force her to take them (you can't, I've played that game with my ex-husband) but a gentle reminder if she just stops taking them might help.

Also, I have to agree with everyone. The drugs are a bad idea if she wants to get better. :( I used to drink heavily and I may as well not have been taking ADs cause all it did was bring me further down. It's a destructive habit, even if you're only in it "for the fun". For her, if not for you also.

I hope it works out.

[iJin]

Dear Arkans;

It seems you are not grabbing what most people have been telling you. If you don't want to put up with her bullshit, dump her. If you want to continue being with her and not caring for while doing recreational drugs, stay.


The thing is, while I am sure light drug use might have some say in this problem, I doubt it is the sole issue. I understand one step at a time, but blaming it 100%? I think the problem needs to be tackled as a whole.

Okay, here's the whole. WE don't know the WHOLE situation of your relationship. We don't know if your some bitch ass guy who neglects your girlfriend and she SUDDENLY had this outburst of a cry for help that you just recognized. You wonder, "What the fuck did I do?" right? Cause thats what guys think. They never know what the fuck they do, unless they're smart enough to figure it out without us girls having to doodle the reason why we're pissed onto their foreheads.

You obviously made her upset. Yeah, people forget shit and you forget female are fucking complex and oh so analytical. Perhaps, this day was special to her. Perhaps, you should of asked her if you had any plans before throwing out the, "HEY BABE IMA GO BE WITH SUM FRIENDS K?" shit.

Yes, the suicide attempt was off and too big. BUT, what is shes tried to call out for your attention some other way and you're too oblivious to get it so hey she thought, "IM GOING TO OFF MYSELF MAYBE HE'LL PAY SOME FUCKING ATTENTION". You know those whiney voices she makes? To make you feel like you did something wrong and she brushes it off her shoulder and tells you everything is okay? And you mistakenly think, "Oh everything is fine I don't want to push her into talking." Fucking push her into talking. Girls want to know you actually give a damn about how she feels and you're not going to let the problem roll off. Cause what happeneds is she bottles all this frustration and disappointment inside until the next thing you do, sets her off. Which this could of been one of those cases.


I hate drinking and how it feels, but I still like to enjoy myself.

..what?

"Hey guys, I hate the bleeding and the numbness that I'm feeling in my arm while I drive a chainsaw through it, but I like to enjoy myself so I'm still going to do it."

That how dumb that sounds.


If moderation means stopping for the sake of someone else, that's cool, not a big deal at all.

Then fucking do it you goddamn twit. I'm still trying to understand why you're not getting that. Anti-depressants are supposed to balance the chemicals in your head. What do drugs and all that "fun" stuff you call "recreational drug use" do? Yay! They make you hallucinate, take you out of your environment, make you feel careless and a bunch of other shit that goes on inside your brain. Taking shit inside there, into haywire. The two things are contradicting themselves, the drugs and the anti-depressants.

Also, IMO I think any couple that does drugs should go shoot themselves. Proves how much you really "love" each other.

Anyways, I probably wrote all this shit as my last hope of getting ANYTHING inside your head to process this, as a waste of my time.

But Good luck! As said before, your relationship is not going to last unless you look outside the box and quit being such a selfish slob.


Sincerly,
Jen.

[Gan]

Hi, As a former addict myself...

This clarifies so much...

[ElanthianSiren]

No, no, I'm following quite well.

This happened after the high and come down from the methamphetamine. That means, reuptake of the norepi, noreph, and dopamine has already begun, no?

That was my reasoning behind it, hell, the shortage of those neurotransmitters after using (as the brain replenishes) could be what the deal is.

As a side note, she is taking an SNRI. So, isn't the only neuro transmitter being affected by her anti-depressant a Norepiniphrine (which is affect greatly by d-meth)?

- Arkans

I meant "I'm not sure you can reason this with her." I'm sure she's really attached to the pattern that she has made for herself. It's something she does for comfort. Hell, I like my comfortable patterns too, difference being that I'm an endorphin freak, but I know I get real moody without.

That could mean that the reuptake of the dopamine from the METH is occurring, depending on her dosing times. There are a lot of what ifs in what you're describing, but if I had to go by your general statements, I'd first think there's extra fight/flight hormones. My book must be old. It calls it as an SSRI, but it makes even more sense with what you're saying, if the epi isn't being reup'd. That could be prompting the fighting you're mentioning and the exhaustion afterward. What you want for her is less NE and E, not more. With an E port open, you're compounding again.

IMO she's looking for dopa in the K; the half life of celexa (SSRI) is listed as 35 hours. Obviously, I don't have the half life of meth in front of me. A science paper says 12 hrs in rats. I have a feeling the problem is tied to the reuptake though, as you noted. That ... or she's batshit crazy, but you said this hasn't happened before, and it's suspicious that it happened right after one of your parties.

[CrystalTears]

All of a sudden I really :heart: Zuie.

[Latrinsorm]

I hope it works out.Ditto!

[TheEschaton]

This clarifies so much...

LOL, I've never denied it, but luckily, it was long before the PC ever existed, so I could not pull a Stanley.

-TheE-

[Clove]

As a former-semi drug addict. Zuie's right.

[Doughboy]

That chick in your avatar looks like she's having some serious gas, Zuie.


Oh, and Arkans.....Run bitch! Run!

[Stanley Burrell]

LOL, I've never denied it, but luckily, it was long before the PC ever existed, so I could not pull a Stanley.

-TheE-

Yeah, hi:

I was totally a rich white cokehead Jennifer Connelly new age oxycodone addiction type. A2A.

Don't lump me together with you Axis-of-Evil tarr'rist-supporting potheads.

And I can't remember if it was Lewis Black, George Carlin or Denis Leary, but I'd totally be posting up a YouTube video of the ridiculous drug comparison skit.

But for now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCYZRdRkyMk

[Nieninque]

OMG U R DUM!!!1111

WINNAH!!111

[ElanthianSiren]

Ignoring your misconception about what you call stupidity (I call it razor sharp wit and profound insight), you are the only one to call me on anything, because you are the only person who missed the point.

Now fuck off...little a good little girl.

:lol: I totally didn't notice this post until now. Come down off whatever androgen ramping compound you're on, and maybe you can keep your insults straight. Or here's a better idea; don't call recovering addicts junkies. Call them what they are... addicts.

WHIT indeed seems to describe your style much better.

[Nieninque]

:lol: I totally didn't notice this post until now. Come down off whatever androgen ramping compound you're on, and maybe you can keep your insults straight. Or here's a better idea; don't call recovering addicts junkies. Call them what they are... addicts.

I didn't call recovering addicts anything at all, dumbass. I called Arkans a druggie. l2read.

[Clove]

Yeah, hi:

I was totally a rich white cokehead Jennifer Connelly new age oxycodone addiction type. A2A...Look Stan, I ignore, put up with, or scratch my head at most of your shit.... but watch how you include Jennifer Connelly in your posts, bitch.

[Parkbandit]

:lol: I totally didn't notice this post until now. Come down off whatever androgen ramping compound you're on, and maybe you can keep your insults straight. Or here's a better idea; don't call recovering addicts junkies. Call them what they are... addicts.

WHIT indeed seems to describe your style much better.

Don't you mean "Call them what they are... victims"?

[ElanthianSiren]

Oh so you didn't follow up "once a druggie ..." with periods? Of course, most people have NO idea what follows such a statement!

While most people here are pretty aware of Arkans' habits, it doesn't mean that they characterize everyone who has used drugs for any period of time as habitual users. For having so much "wit," basic logic and sentence structure really escapes you.

Next time, forego the sneak in through the back door insult and address him specifically. ...And drop ever claiming to have "wit" from your resume.

[ElanthianSiren]

Don't you mean "Call them what they are... victims"?

Not at all. Even recovering addicts are still addicts. That's why it's termed recovering. They are not however druggies.

Unless someone was tied down and had heroin shot into their veins or was fed some sort of drug unbeknownst to them, I wouldn't call them a victim of much but themselves.

[BigWorm]

I didn't call recovering addicts anything at all, dumbass. I called Arkans a druggie. l2read.

Wow, you are really a raging bitch today. I mean, you're often harsh, but you're not usually a total cunt like you are being today.

[Nieninque]

Oh so you didn't follow up "once a druggie ..." with periods? Of course, most people have NO idea what follows such a statement!

The people who mattered, understood completely. That does, sadly, exclude you.

In future, save your little crusade for someone who gives a shit. Arkans is a druggie. He isn't recovering because he is still using.

Now, I do believe I covered this once before, but I shall repeat in the hope that repetition works for one as stupid as you. Fuck off.

[Nieninque]

Wow, you are really a raging bitch today. I mean, you're often harsh, but you're not usually a total cunt like you are being today.

http://www.webdelsol.com/The_Potomac/issue2/crybaby.jpg

[ElanthianSiren]

:rofl: I don't know what planet you live on sweetheart, but you posted on an internet forum. OMGZ LEAVE ME ALONES!!!!!1111one doesn't really help here. -Just ask Backlash.

You made a dumbass blanket statement and got called. Then got called repeatedly on making another then yet ANOTHER in your megalomania! -And here you sit, backpeddling. Get over yourself.

[Nieninque]

:rofl: I don't know what planet you live on sweetheart, but you posted on an internet forum. OMGZ LEAVE ME ALONES!!!!!1111one doesn't really help here. -Just ask Backlash.

You made a dumbass blanket statement and got called. Then got called repeatedly on making another then yet ANOTHER in your megalomania! -And here you sit, backpeddling. Get over yourself.

I aint backpeddling anything you fucking moron.
I called Arkans a druggie. You went on some moral crusade for the benefit of "recovering addicts" none of which are Arkans. I continued to call Arkans a druggie.

Not sure where the backpeddling comes in, but carry on living up to your reputation.

[ElanthianSiren]

Once a druggie...

Where's it say there... "once Arkans' a druggie"?

Oops...doesn't. This is where you're back peddling.

[Arkans]

Well, after being home for a few hours and getting a feel for shit, the situation goes down like this.

She wants no more of any anti-depressant. That's fine, I mean, I can't force her to take the shit. She said she's always felt better off of them. Obviously, the adjustment isn't for her. Now, she gets to enjoy that withdrawal from those fucking things.

There will be no more use of methamphetamine. That's fine, I had fun with it, but a drug is not nearly as important as her well being. Simple as that.

She said that she still wants to continue using ketamine at parties, but I urgerd her to reconsider. I figure not pushing the matter is the best course of action.

She seemed okay now, but just really tired. Hopefully, that improvement goes through.

- Arkans

[Nieninque]

It's not me backpeddling, it's you poking your warty nose in to put two and two together to make eighty seven. The fact that you misunderstood a comment I made to and about Arkans, means nothing other than the fact that you misunderstood. Give it up.

Grats on continuing to live up to a substantial reputation.

[Nieninque]

Well, after being home for a few hours and getting a feel for shit, the situation goes down like this.

She wants no more of any anti-depressant. That's fine, I mean, I can't force her to take the shit. She said she's always felt better off of them. Obviously, the adjustment isn't for her. Now, she gets to enjoy that withdrawal from those fucking things.

There will be no more use of methamphetamine. That's fine, I had fun with it, but a drug is not nearly as important as her well being. Simple as that.

She said that she still wants to continue using ketamine at parties, but I urgerd her to reconsider. I figure not pushing the matter is the best course of action.

She seemed okay now, but just really tired. Hopefully, that improvement goes through.

- Arkans

ROFL...that'll work.
Here goes stupid!

[ElanthianSiren]

It's not me backpeddling, it's you poking your warty nose in to put two and two together to make eighty seven. The fact that you misunderstood a comment I made to and about Arkans, means nothing other than the fact that you misunderstood. Give it up.

Grats on continuing to live up to a substantial reputation.

Whatever helps you sleep. l2U2U.

I can't say I'm upset by whatever reputation you think I have.

[Clove]

I aint backpeddling anything you fucking moron.
I called Arkans a druggie. You went on some moral crusade for the benefit of "recovering addicts" none of which are Arkans. I continued to call Arkans a druggie.

Not sure where the backpeddling comes in, but carry on living up to your reputation.I'm rarely in Nieninque's court... however if Arkan's is still using "recreational drugs" he's not a recovering anything.

[ElanthianSiren]

Well, after being home for a few hours and getting a feel for shit, the situation goes down like this.

She wants no more of any anti-depressant. That's fine, I mean, I can't force her to take the shit. She said she's always felt better off of them. Obviously, the adjustment isn't for her. Now, she gets to enjoy that withdrawal from those fucking things.

There will be no more use of methamphetamine. That's fine, I had fun with it, but a drug is not nearly as important as her well being. Simple as that.

She said that she still wants to continue using ketamine at parties, but I urgerd her to reconsider. I figure not pushing the matter is the best course of action.

She seemed okay now, but just really tired. Hopefully, that improvement goes through.

- Arkans

Might try asking her how she can possibly say that the anti-depressant isn't working or has adversely worked when she has been taking it with something that ruins its potential.

[Keller]

Wow, you are really a raging bitch today. I mean, you're often harsh, but you're not usually a total cunt like you are being today.

You realize you're only complimenting her, right?

<3 Nien

[ElanthianSiren]

I'm rarely in Nieninque's court... however if Arkan's is still using "recreational drugs" he's not a recovering anything.

Her post wasn't in response to anything Arkans said. It was a blanket statement floating out there.

Had she... L2Quote!!! and address OP, I can go with that.

[Nieninque]

You're a fucking idiot.

[Sean of the Thread]

I'm just going to sum this up real fast.

Luke:
a) likes grenadine in his corona and zimas
b) likes his turkey stuffed but no reach arounds or erections
c) likes cock in his mouth as long as he has no erection
d) wears a fanny pack
e) Nazi supporter
f) racist
g) he played a Sorc..............

At what point should any of us be concerned about his drug use considering the above listed points.

[ElanthianSiren]

You're a fucking idiot.

Oh no! I'm hurt some witless twit who relies on rhetoric in her ever so advanced posts thinks I'm a fucking idiot! I'm crying myself to sleep; no really... I promise.

Again, get over yourself.

[Sean of the Thread]

Wow, you are really a raging bitch today. I mean, you're often harsh, but you're not usually a total cunt like you are being today.

She's making me hot for her again.

[Asha]

Again lol

[Shari]

Maybe I'm atypical for a chick, but WTF couldn't she just open her mouth and remind you of your promise instead of being a total cunt?

It could have gone either way: you tell your buddy to find someone else, or tell her that you'll make it up to her by taking her to (insert something she enjoys).

However, they whole pill thing would be a deal clencher for me. Craaaaazy crazy whacko. Had she done or said anything in the past that dramatic or was this a one time berzerko thing she did?

[diethx]

Maybe I'm atypical for a chick, but WTF couldn't she just open her mouth and remind you of your promise instead of being a total cunt?

I doubt that's atypical. That's sure as shit what i'd do.

[Stanley Burrell]

She wants no more of any anti-depressant. That's fine, I mean, I can't force her to take the shit. She said she's always felt better off of them. Obviously, the adjustment isn't for her. Now, she gets to enjoy that withdrawal from those fucking things.

Out of curiousity, are you already acquainted with whatever SSRI she's taking and what the withdrawal symptoms might/will be? Just as modest preparation.


There will be no more use of methamphetamine. That's fine, I had fun with it, but a drug is not nearly as important as her well being. Simple as that.

GOOD.


She said that she still wants to continue using ketamine at parties, but I urgerd her to reconsider. I figure not pushing the matter is the best course of action.

I draw the line at... Does she honestly know you dissuade her (we're throwing hypocritical tangents out the window, let's pretend this were interpeted at face value) because you love her, or is she giving you the hairy eyeball, paired with flat affect, that isn't even drug-induced?

[diethx]

Oh and, I forgot to mention that you're being stupid Arkans. Okay, so maybe you can't force her to take her meds. Okay, so maybe you can't force her to stop using K. But you sure as shit can remove her from your life if she won't do those things to get herself healthy.

Okay, maybe you haven't got a ton of room to talk since you use too, but you obviously aren't mentally unstable at the same time. You can handle it, she cannot. All you're doing in standing by her while she continues to act destructively is showing her that she can do whatever she wants and you'll still be there. You're not helping, you're enabling. My advice is to let her know these things, and then to move out. And don't go running back when she starts texting everyone in her contacts list about how she's going to off herself.

[iJin]

ROFL...that'll work.
Here goes stupid!



I love this girl. <3<3<3

[Arkans]

I am reading about the withdrawals from the anti-depressants. Better to be prepared than not.

I mean, she'll do what she wants to do. This is what she tells me. I've known her to be fairly honest, though. It's why this entire thing is such a shock.

- Arkans

[diethx]

So why exactly do you come here asking for advice when you obviously don't plan on listening to/taking any of it?

http://scottwax.com/rice/ratedr/attention%20whore3.jpg

Did you just feel like her ^ ?

[Apathy]

He came here to give everyone a chance to feel self-righteous. :)

This girl is like Ike and you're Tina, but instead of your face its your brain. Gonna fuck you up, then beg you to come back, fuck you up, beg you to come back.

Just be prepared for a messy drawn-out breakup that may involve authority figures (better ditch the entire stash and tools before you do it).

[Deza]

I'm not trying to sound insensitive, honestly, but how much withdrawal could she possibly be hit with if she's only been taking her meds for a couple weeks? Just curious. You usually have to have it in your system...you know for your system to miss it. :(

PS: If she DOES go through it, it blows. I went off prozac cold turkey cause my doctor was an idiot and suggested I do it and holy crap if I never go through that again, it'll be the best thing I ever do in my LIFE.

[CrystalTears]

Oh so you didn't follow up "once a druggie ..." with periods? Of course, most people have NO idea what follows such a statement!
If you were following the thread with the commentary regarding Arkans and his past drug use, Nien's comment was nothing but a comment regarding him. You're making a broad leap assuming she's talking about every addict when this thread is about a specific addict.

Nien and I don't always see eye to eye, but damned if I didn't think you were on a crusade to smite her for something she didn't do by making her statement a generalized one.

As for Arkans, what kind of withdrawal could she possibly have when she never took anything longer than 2-3 weeks?! You guys need withdrawal from each other. Christ.

[ElanthianSiren]

She made a dumb broad statement. I don't see how you can say "once a druggie...", imply always a druggie, and not have it apply to more than one person who uses drugs. It's a general statement, which has often been false. Trying to call me a druggie afterward just made it even more hillarious.

Call it a crusade if you like; I don't believe in holding drug use against people (unless you've been personally harmed by their actions) or ridiculing people for posting for life advice on internet forums or for being unable to see how they're contributing to a problem. Given the tone of her prior posts, the statement didn't surprise me at all.

So yeah... it's a total crusade. I'm out to string up all those poor innocent furriners I don't know.

[Stretch]

I repeat. Baggage. Get out.

[Jahira]

Yeah, this is pretty crazy. Props to you for putting up with all this

[Tolwynn]

Yeah, this is pretty crazy. Props to you for enabling all this

Fixed that for you.

[Arkans]

I don't know what kind, I've never really took AD drugs. Personally, I see a lot of side effects that really turn me away from them. Sure, they might work for some, but others it just seems to be a nightmare.

The rest of the evening was half decent. We're going to take it easy for the time being, but honestly, this had better be the last time that something like this ever happens. Thanks to all that gave input.

- Arkans

[Back]

I’m sympathetic to some aspects of your relationship but I’ve never experienced suicidal tendencies in a partner. Having said that all I would ask is how serious is this relationship? If she is the “one” then jump in head first consequences be damned. If not, get out now.

[TheEschaton]

"suicidal tendencies" in a partner would require her to be emotionally open with you, and we all know prostitutes don't share their feelings.

[Parkbandit]

"suicidal tendencies" in a partner would require her to be emotionally open with you, and we all know prostitutes don't share their feelings.


Did you just call Beth a WHORE!?

[Parkbandit]

She made a dumb broad statement.

To be honest... what broad doesn't make dumb statements?

[BigWorm]

To be honest... what broad doesn't make dumb statements?

Wow, your wife must feel so lucky.

[AnticorRifling]

Wow, your wife must feel so lucky.

Only when I visit.

[Some Rogue]

Only when I visit.

Because she's a lesbian.

[AnticorRifling]

Because she's a lesbian.

Touche you son of a bitch, touche.


On topic I saw this and thought of you Arkans:

http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa212/TheseAreThingsILike/One%20Through%20Two/SeriouslyIHaveDrugs.jpg

[Arkans]

Haha

I wanted to get that shirt. Then I realized it's like saying, "Hey harass me, I'm doing illegal things!" written in bold neon letters.

- Arkans