Bobmuthol's Mom Goes to College

[longshot]

Okay. Bobmuthol is going to college.

What do you know now that you wish you knew then? Let's do our best to enlighten him.

Keep this about undergrad. Not about grad school.

Here's some facts about where our Rhodes Scholar will be going:

http://www.businessweek.com/bschools/undergraduate/06profiles/bentley1.htm

http://www.bentley.edu/about/facts.cfm

This one's kind of obvious, but it's very true... try not to have a class before 10:00.

[Some Rogue]

and No classes on Friday.

[Stretch]

Don't do accounting.

[Methais]

Wear a condom. Sometimes 2.

[Jahira]

You can stress out over paper/tests/deadlines but don't sacrifice having fun. Go out a lot. Have a ton of fun while it is still considered acceptable

[Hulkein]

No classes on Friday is great but that's harder to do when you just begin college, and even harder at a small school like Bentley.

I'd recommend taking some summer classes here and there if you can. 12 credits (or less) per semester senior year is really nice.

My experience was at a huge state school though so I don't know how much my experiences relate. Just have fun.

[Stunseed]

Summer classes were the best thing I could have done. Mon-Thur 2-4 fridays off of campus, was sweet sweet.

The travel time before I lived on campus was horrible, instead.

[Tisket]

I want to avoid sounding like a public service announcement or worse, condescending, but make sure and get enough sleep, get regular exercise, eat well, and pay attention to what your body tells you. There are surprising stresses the first time you live away from home. I think you'll land on your feet though.

[diethx]

While I think you've got enough smarts NOT to fall into this trap... party it up when you've got nothing due. Don't forget to have fun, but also don't forget why you're really there. I've seen a lot of friends with suffering GPAs because in the midst of the fun, they forgot they were there to go to school, heh.

And like someone else said - no classes before 10am, unless of course you've always been a morning person.

[Latrinsorm]

It doesn't make you dumb to ask for help from your professor or your TA.

[SayGoodbye]

Take all of the extra help you can get, be it study groups or whatever.
Never ever ever procrastinate.
If you're gonna party limit it to one weekend night. Even then.. Moderation.
Know when you're in over your head.
Plan your time and study sessions well.
Summer classes definitely, winter break classes if you're not too burnt from fall semester finals.
Live on campus if possible and not too much of a financial burden.
Always take it seriously. Even if you coasted through high school on your own intelligence for the most part it won't get you anywhere in college.

For right now: Apply for as many scholarships as possible.

Good luck and remember, There is nothing more important than your college degree. There will be a hell of a lot more time to party after you're done in three/four years.

[iJin]

He's a smart boy. I'm sure he knows what hes doing.


and lol @ condom comment.

[Sthrockmorton]

Whatever you do, don't skip classes for any PC/Video Game related stuff, it can become a bad habit...

Everyone's learning style is different as well, but I can tell you it benefited me quite a bit to attend every class possible and being an active participant (answering and asking Q's). The more I participated in class, the less I had to study (which, by my junior/senior year, was hardly ever). Plus, if you have special issues arise and have to miss classes or re-take a test for any reason, the professors will usually be more willing to break the rules for you since you participate. It helps, trust me...

[ThatDamnTep]

No matter what time you schedule your first class of the day you will most likely skip it at least once a week. So try and schedule a class you can afford to miss every so often as your first one.

Apathy is going to set in pretty hard at some point. Try not to let it get the best of you.

Make it a point to get to know at least one professor well. Having the contacts helps you out greatly later in your college career with getting in on research positions, scheduling conflicts being resolved, etc etc etc.

[diethx]

Apathy is going to set in pretty hard at some point. Try not to let it get the best of you.

Make it a point to get to know at least one professor well. Having the contacts helps you out greatly later in your college career with getting in on research positions, scheduling conflicts being resolved, etc etc etc.

He is so right on both of these points, except you shouldn't have to worry about the apathy until at least sophomore year, i'd think.

[Skeeter]

If a class looks like it's going to be absolutely horrible drop it immediately and try to pick up something else.

[Hulkein]

Take all of the extra help you can get, be it study groups or whatever.
Never ever ever procrastinate.
If you're gonna party limit it to one weekend night. Even then.. Moderation.
Know when you're in over your head.
Plan your time and study sessions well.
Summer classes definitely, winter break classes if you're not too burnt from fall semester finals.
Live on campus if possible and not too much of a financial burden.
Always take it seriously. Even if you coasted through high school on your own intelligence for the most part it won't get you anywhere in college.

For right now: Apply for as many scholarships as possible.

Good luck and remember, There is nothing more important than your college degree. There will be a hell of a lot more time to party after you're done in three/four years.

Don't listen to 80% of this post.

[diethx]

Don't be afraid to get a W. Many times, you don't realize how shitty a professor or a class is until after add/drop. Rather than sitting through a whole semester of torture, don't be afraid to withdraw from the class and take something else (or take it again with another professor, if it's required for your major/core) next semester. A W looks much better than an F any day, and if you hate the class/professor that badly, you may find yourself just simply not going to class at all, which even with your brains could end up in an F (especially if there are attendance reqs, which many small schools have).

[lrb508]

As a senior about to graduate from NYU, here are my recommendations:

1) Get to know your professors. This will probably be easier at a small school, but I know it takes a lot of effort at a big university like where I am. Becoming friendly with your professors can really help you out later, whether it be when you need a recommendation or if you can't make a deadline - they'll be more lenient if they know you.

2) I know people have said this already, but HAVE FUN. Obviously, your studies are important too, but college is the last time of your life when you really have the time and the freedom to fuck around and have a lot of fun.

3) Study abroad if you can. Again, you'll never have the time to travel like you do when you're in college.

4) Figure out what you want to do and go for it, and also figure out how best to do it. I'm a media studies major with a double-minor in Film/TV and Dramatic Literature, which is a handful, and I didn't realise until it was too late that it would have made way more sense for me to be in the school of individualized study where I could have done the same thing with fewer classes.

5) This is such hypocrisy coming from me, but try not to procrastinate too much. I can't tell you how many all-nighters I've pulled for papers and cramming because I didn't start in advance like I should have. And all-nighters sort-of really suck.

6) I'm going to get yelled at for this, but in your big boring lecture classes, see if you can connect to the college's wireless and play Gemstone. I can't tell you how many times being able to go on the internet during class has saved me from falling asleep in class.

7) Finally, figure out the professor and what is needed to ace the class. I've had a bunch of classes which I aced without going to lecture except on exam days because you were fine just doing the readings. Not that I'm purporting skipping class, but sometimes you don't have to stress out as much as you'd think, and lessening stress in college is ALWAYS a good thing.

Good luck, Bob.

[Apathy]

Don't get overly complicated, college girls are easy.

Move out of the dorms as fast as possible.

Quickly reading over your notes from the day for like 10 minutes at night will make 75% of your classes a cakewalk.

[Tolwynn]

If you can at all afford it, try to get a private dorm room.

There's a lot less distraction then, unless you decide you want it, like having a girl stay overnight, or for the weekend. (not that it's entirely good for your grades, admittedly, but priorities and all.)

[Sean]

Unless you're planning on grad school or a college class ranked job after the fact .. live it up have fun and just graduate.

[Tsa`ah]

If possible, get your schedule and book list asap ... then check the school's library or even the public library for those books on your list.

[longshot]

He's a smart boy. I'm sure he knows what hes doing.


and lol @ condom comment.

Keep them where you have access to them. I had a loft in my dorm room, and I'd keep one or two on the posts. If you're hammered, you're less likely to climb down a ladder, look for one, and then climb back up the ladder. The last thing you want to be saying for the rest of your life is, "Wow, herpes sucks. I should have listened to Longshot."

Also, learn some dialog about "why she's not a slut" if she decides to stay over. Maybe this isn't a big concern with the way skanks today operate...

Don't room with a friend. It's a great way to fuck up a friendship. If possible, live on the same floor or in the same building.

Financial aid money doesn't last long if you have a drug habit.

Be nice to fat girls. They usually have hot friends.

If you take any kind of math, your instructor will be a TA. They will not speak English.

Exchange students are looking to have fun during their time abroad. Take advantage.

Join some type of organization that will let you meet people and develop some kind of "crew." Even if it's a stupid club of some sorts. Don't limit yourself to only your classes and dorm floor. Even if you don't plan on joining a fraternity, I recommend going to rush week stuff. You might find something surprising, and you might realize "this is exactly whom I don't want to be in life." At the very least, you'll get free food.

Don't be "that guy."

Keep a small bottle of saline solution and a contact lens case. It comes in handy when you bring back a girl that wears contacts.

I'll see if I can think of anything else...

[longshot]

Unless you're planning on grad school or a college class ranked job after the fact .. live it up have fun and just graduate.

Don't do that... your GPA matters.

[Asha]

Gum your key notes to the back of your toilet door.
Never, ever hold a bucket against the ceiling when someone asks you to.

[longshot]

Take all of the extra help you can get, be it study groups or whatever.
Never ever ever procrastinate.
If you're gonna party limit it to one weekend night. Even then.. Moderation.
Know when you're in over your head.
Plan your time and study sessions well.
Summer classes definitely, winter break classes if you're not too burnt from fall semester finals.
Live on campus if possible and not too much of a financial burden.
Always take it seriously. Even if you coasted through high school on your own intelligence for the most part it won't get you anywhere in college.

For right now: Apply for as many scholarships as possible.

Good luck and remember, There is nothing more important than your college degree. There will be a hell of a lot more time to party after you're done in three/four years.

Are you a mom?

[diethx]

Are you a mom?

He's a guidance counselor.

[Blushy]

Always take it seriously. Even if you coasted through high school on your own intelligence for the most part it won't get you anywhere in college.
I would kind of agree with this. I teach high school, and I often hear from distraught college freshmen who coasted through high school (who were recently my students) that they are "totally sinking" in a class because it is "so hard". I always have to reassure them that, in college, just because a class is hard, it doesn't mean that you're doing poorly in it.

[Soulpieced]

Psh, I coasted through high school... and subsequently coasted through college. Now I'm coasting through an MBA program. Some people got it, some don't. However, I was fully prepared for college through my high school curriculum, but I definitely didn't study hard in college (and obviously have done fine).

[Stanley Burrell]

The only advice I have for Bob is not to take advice from people on message boards.

Remember to wrap your rascal three times as a way of punishing dorm supermodels by not sticking it to them directly. Props. Step on toes. Don't do laundry.

[Stanley Burrell]

Psh, I coasted through high school... and subsequently coasted through college. Now I'm coasting through an MBA program. Some people got it, some don't. However, I was fully prepared for college through my high school curriculum, but I definitely didn't study hard in college (and obviously have done fine).

Apparently, you never took World Geo 100 level. I am going to sodomize this class. State-of-Texas illegally.

Damn it to hell, I will fucking stab the next country in Central Asia ending in "Stan." I'm stabbing myself right now. I'm not even a fucking country.

God. Damn. It.

Also, Soulpieced is a capped Bard and calls you a peon. Which is why he does good in college.

[Keller]

Psh, I coasted through high school... and subsequently coasted through college. Now I'm coasting through an MBA program. Some people got it, some don't. However, I was fully prepared for college through my high school curriculum, but I definitely didn't study hard in college (and obviously have done fine).

At some point you have to stop coasting. The earlier you make that decision the more successful you'll be in the long run. That's a conclusion I came to too late in my own life.

[Stanley Burrell]

Don't live off campus if you're not rich, bitch, either.

[TheEschaton]

I coasted through high school and college, and am getting my ass handed to me now. ;)

[Ignot]

Don't live off campus if you're not rich, bitch, either.

yeah i guess if your dorms are nice thats one thing but if your only option is a piece of shit on campus or a respectable place off campus then i would go off campus if you can afford it. Just because its on campus doesnt make it cheap either.

[Tisket]

I found that living on campus made it more of an experience. Could just be hindsight I suppose. I never lived off campus while attending so might be talking out of my ass.

[diethx]

At some point you have to stop coasting. The earlier you make that decision the more successful you'll be in the long run. That's a conclusion I came to too late in my own life.

I feel I sort of did too. I coasted through HS and through my first major, but now i've actually got to study to keep my A's in my new major - so far anyhow.


yeah i guess if your dorms are nice thats one thing but if your only option is a piece of shit on campus or a respectable place off campus then i would go off campus if you can afford it. Just because its on campus doesnt make it cheap either.

I would agree with you for upper classmen. But as a freshman, living on campus is invaluable. It helps you make friends, get involved in more activities (which in turn will help you make more friends), and the transition into living away from home the first time is much easier, I think. Once Bob finds his niche and his crowd of friends, living off campus probably wouldn't hurt. But he's got a whole shitton of time left after college to live on his own, remember.

[longshot]

He's a guidance counselor.

Wow... someone's dreams died hard.


Psh, I coasted through high school... and subsequently coasted through college. Now I'm coasting through an MBA program. Some people got it, some don't. However, I was fully prepared for college through my high school curriculum, but I definitely didn't study hard in college (and obviously have done fine).

Do you ever feel like you didn't challenge yourself enough?

I have no idea what kind of university you went to, or what career you are pursuing, but it sounds like you might be bragging about something that most people wouldn't be bragging about.

Nobody here knows what "obviously done fine" means to you. It most likely doesn't mean the same thing for everyone here.

[SayGoodbye]

I'm not a parent or a guidance counselor.

I'm just stating "what I know now that I wish I knew then" as the OP asked.

I take it back. Party hard. Start doing drugs. Don't ever study and attendance is optional. Am I cool now?

[diethx]

I'm not a parent or a guidance counselor.

I'm just stating "what I know now that I wish I knew then" as the OP asked.

I take it back. Party hard. Start doing drugs. Don't ever study and attendance is optional. Am I cool now?

It's not about being cool, you know. It just sounded like you were trying to encourage Bob to be this guy:

http://nerd-paradise.com/images/nerd/nerd_385x261.jpg

You have to find a happy medium in college, remember. Your advice was all work and no play (something a parent, or a guidance counselor, would advocate).

[SayGoodbye]

Guess thats just cause I took the not enough work, too much play route.

If I could redo college, I would be exactly like that guy.

[Soulpieced]

Wow... someone's dreams died hard.

Do you ever feel like you didn't challenge yourself enough?

I have no idea what kind of university you went to, or what career you are pursuing, but it sounds like you might be bragging about something that most people wouldn't be bragging about.

Nobody here knows what "obviously done fine" means to you. It most likely doesn't mean the same thing for everyone here.

Perhaps I didn't challenge myself enough. Maybe I should have gone to Wharton for my undergrad, but I didn't want to play football. As I said, I have done pretty well for myself in my short going on 4 years of work in the "real world". I'll be finishing an MBA in a few months, and I'm just saying I didn't have to work very hard in high school, college, or graduate school in order to make fine grades, have a good time, and kick ass at life and Gemstone.

I'm also not particularly bragging (for once), but telling people "you have to bust your ass in college otherwise you won't make it" is bullshit for a handful of people that can handle themselves. I have no doubt Bob could succeed regardless of how hard he tries.

[Stretch]

Eh, if I had applied myself more in college, I could probably be doing better than I am now. I have some regrets about some of the decisions I made in college, but overall I'm content with how things turned out.

You don't have to be an ascetic to do well, but you have to have some modicum of discipline. I got through college studying for every exam the night before, and graduated with honors. On the flip side, cum laude doesn't cut it if you want to get into a Top 10 graduate program, even if you have kickass test scores.

[Daniel]

Summa Cum Laude doesn't cut it unless you bring something else to the table.

[Stanley Burrell]

Whatever you do, do not take World Geo as an elective 4 credit. This is not the easy A I foresaw.

Oh yeah: 100 level doesn't mean easy. In fact, having to learn entirely new material at a general level is sometimes more difficult than specific knowledge at a higher course level.

200 and 300 level PHI = not even having to read a damn thing, besides your notes.

Take chem over the summer.

[Kranar]

Don't study for the sake of studying, don't work for the sake of working. Use university as a way to find something you are truly passionate about and love, because what you learn there is supposed to stay with you for life.

If you can do that, then the grades will come to you naturally, and you won't be stressing out and going through all the drama many students go through before an exam or an assignment is due.

[Skeeter]

the best advice I've heard so far is the contact case and salene solution. Where were you 15 years ago =(

If you have a girlfriend, break up with her. Long distance relationships, or any carryover relationships are just a huge fucking anchor in college. You want to be free to tap as much ass as possible. Also College chicks are just infinitely better looking than HS girls. (they actually have tits)

[longshot]

Oh yeah: 100 level doesn't mean easy. In fact, having to learn entirely new material at a general level is sometimes more difficult than specific knowledge at a higher course level.


100 level courses can be weeder courses. They're usually a required course for a lot of programs, and entail a lot more work than you'd expect from a 100 level course.

They're designed to weed out weak students, like Stanley, from pursuing programs for which they aren't qualified. It's better to have your dreams of being a doctor crushed right away in psych 101... rather than two years later.



If you have a girlfriend, break up with her. Long distance relationships, or any carryover relationships are just a huge fucking anchor in college.

Great call. I can't believe I forgot this one. I think I broke up and got back together with my girlfriend (at another university) at least four times. What a waste of time...

[diethx]

Also College chicks are just infinitely better looking than HS girls. (they actually have tits)

They also pretty much lose any qualms about giving it up that they may have held onto in high school.

[Stanley Burrell]

100 level courses can be weeder courses. They're usually a required course for a lot of programs, and entail a lot more work than you'd expect from a 100 level course.

They're designed to weed out weak students, like Stanley, from pursuing programs for which they aren't qualified. It's better to have your dreams of being a doctor crushed right away in psych 101... rather than two years later.

I'm pretty sure I've passed all my 100 level courses, heh. I didn't pass RL economics, tho'. Eh, I think (or rather know) that if anything I've done at a collegiate level; related to my major, had financial gain as a sole priority, I wouldn't be pursuing anything related to true academia, especially in the field of applied microbiology as is. I am fortunate enough to know enough about the subject and have enough background to do an internship locally starting in a year. I sincerely doubt I'll make a biochemist's 80k until at least 8 years from now.

Plus, A'ing Gen PSY when you're me isn't exactly a fundamental challenge, let alone a niche. I've loved psych ever since I saw the early depictions of the personality wheel in early HS :D Also, I'm loco esse.

And yeah; they (100 cores) can and do easily weed out their intended audience as such, but so can any other course -- You don't need to explain that sort of thing to Bob, I don't think. He does or will get the premise like whizza'-what.

In general though, you're absolutely correct that core/required 100s are a decent filter mechanism. They have to be.

Pure electives that are 4 credit and not-to-be-found under any requirement in a catalog description need not be so harsh, imho. And I'm also saying that because I know where Somalia and Lake Tanganyika are, now, as a B.A. going for his B.S. for research.

I'll stick with my reasoning/bitter rationalization for assigning myself a course in World Geo in the first place, which was that I knew shit about it before this semester began to the point where I wanted to learn because of how embarrassing my lack of cartographic knowledge was (and still is.) Just happened to get an over-emphatic first-year prof'.

http://ratemyprofessors.com/

What Kranar said the most. I can do RT-PCR, FACS, blotting, hopefully profusion, etc., because it is something personal related to discovery of my own self and my being horny for subject material involving hypervariable regions along disulphide bridges. W00t.

[diethx]

Oh shit, thanks Ben, your ratemyprof link reminded me of www.pickaprof.com. It's definitely been worth the subscription fees for me ($10 a year). All of the grade reports seem to have been spot on with the professors i've taken.

[Stanley Burrell]

I miss The Westchester Bomb Squad on campus everyday :'(

Purchase REP'!!!

[diethx]

I miss visiting up there :(

I'm really glad I never enrolled. I'd have flunked out from all the partying, haha.

[lrb508]

Also College chicks are just infinitely better looking than HS girls. (they actually have tits)

Yeah, I was the only one in high school with tits. :(
I got breast reduction once I went to college though LOL. Now I can actually stand up straight.

[diethx]

Yeah, I was the only one in high school with tits. :(
I got breast reduction once I went to college though LOL. Now I can actually stand up straight.

Jesus, how big were you?

[Latrinsorm]

Something someone else said reminded me, take TONS of electives. All kinds of random shit. This (college) is honestly your last opportunity to learn about stuff like that. You could probably bust your ass with your required courses and graduate in 3 years - fuck that. You have the rest of your life to make money, take advantage of the opportunities you have now.

[Marl]

Do NOT use your part time job during college as a front for selling drugs...

Althugh you will make alot of $$, friends and get lots of ass, there is never a good outcome :(

[Methais]

I'm not a parent or a guidance counselor.

I'm just stating "what I know now that I wish I knew then" as the OP asked.

I take it back. Party hard. Start doing drugs. Don't ever study and attendance is optional. Am I cool now?

Yes.

[Anebriated]

C's get degrees. Have fun while you can.

Also going to suggest Greek life. Smaller schools can sometimes suck, my brother didnt really like his school(about 5k kids) until he joined a frat. Each person is different though.

despite what anyone says, easy-mac and ramen can be a meal at any time of the day or night.

Always keep a fridge full of beer, drink often to relieve stress.

Remember, if she smokes she pokes.

Dont spend your nights playing video games, go out and party.(lan parties are only cool in high school... and even then they werent cool)

If you live off campus, get a dog.

Be active in the recreational sports. I think I met more girls in college by playing pickup volleyball than anywhere else. Of course it helps that the court was right next to the all girls dorm...

[Daniel]

The contact advice is win.

I'll echo the "Apply for all the scholarships you can" comment. Seriously, it's stupid how much that shit snowballs. I'm up to like 120k already.

Don't suck up to professors, but strategically get in good with ones that will help you out in the future. I.e. write a good rec (*note, the name on the rec means more then anything else), or hook a job up.

Don't date, shit's not worth it.

Go abroad. Seriously, Go abroad. It's the only thing you can do where you party all fucking day, take bullshit classes and still somehow come out on top.

Knock out all your requirements ASAP. School is so much better when you can take whatever you want.

Get in good with the career center at your school.

On that note: Internships. Going to a small school, it's the only way you'll get ahead of the curve. Do as many as you can. Don't worry about what you'll actually do, because it's all bullshit. Just do shit that you can sell on your resume. If it sounds good, then it's good.

Live on campus until you get your own circle of friends, then bounce ASAP.

Learn to cook.

Enjoy life.

[Sean of the Thread]

Most is common sense and I think you'll be quite capable of figuring it out HOWEVER...

Try to tie in course selections to coincide with ease/kick ass factor.

One summer semester I took Oceanography, Marine Biology, Marine Bio Lab and scuba certification. That kicked ass. Well it was in Florida but still.

[Daniel]

Oh. That reminds me.

If at all possible, take classes with similar themes and concepts at the same time. I.e. Take all your international econ classes at once. The reason being? You can probably do all the same research for 4-5 different papers.

Daniel

[Hulkein]

Become a vagitarian.

[Sean of the Thread]

And buy hunting/combat boots to wear when you take a shower if you're not sharing one with the room next door type places. If sharing with next door sandals will suffice unless the neighbor looks like Tsin.

[Keller]

Go abroad. Seriously, Go abroad. It's the only thing you can do where you party all fucking day, take bullshit classes and still somehow come out on top.


This is worth repeating.

[Hulkein]

This is worth repeating.

And the vagitarian advice wasn't?

[Stanley Burrell]

And the vagitarian advice wasn't?

Nah.

It sounds sort of like the logo they'd put on one of those "Busted T"s, or whatever they're called; targeted at college-age audiences, with a picture of, like, some shaved carrot slices as anthropormphic vaggie lips and a lump of tofu for a clit. Christened with some one-liner, like:

"I love meat. I'm a Vagitarian." Nyuknyuknyuknyuknyuk.

And then I longfist Shaolin knuckle punch the frat nobodies who wear those inside-joke-that-half-the-world's-aware-of articles of walking innuendo in their soft fucking cranial temple pockets.

It's really not hard to kill people with your bare fists and a little Aesthetic martial practice. 'Specially accomplishable when they wear those sorts of t-shirts.



Short answer: No.

[Apathy]

Translation: Stanley is a virgin who lives at home. (but he does like Cake which is a plus, he just needs guidance imo.)

[Keller]

And the vagitarian advice wasn't?

I hope he's already a vagitarian.

PS - It was clever and I chuckled -- but I think Daniel's advice re studying abroad is something every college student should hear. There is no better way to spend a semester.

[Stanley Burrell]

Translation: Stanley is a virgin who lives at home. (but he does like Cake which is a plus, he just needs guidance imo.)

I get to fucking say I'm a virgin again after a dry streak this long + the amount of times chicks have tried to tell me "aren't you going to wear a condom?" when she's just fucking stroking it without me having to tell her to at least cup teh ballz.

Fuck this, I have been unrewarded enough, sexually, to the point where I am a virgin and I am breaking fast on your sister, mother and great aunt Sally. Then I'm going to see how Apathetic you are after I perform a sex-change operation and rape your not-yet-closed in many holes + still under-surgery vagina.

Since you are Apathy, you won't care.

God-damn right I'm a virgin: With the way half you chicks are corpses, I'd be better off going to the cemetery to get some action.

"Maybe it's your medication."

MAYBE IT'S YOU TELLING ME TO PUT ON A CONDOM TO TITFUCK YOU AND THEN HAVE YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW MY RUBBER INFESTED WANG GAVE YOU TIRE MARKS.



Damn it, people are stupid. It's a good thing they die eventually. What Apathy said.

[Daniel]

Rofl @ tire marks.

[Stanley Burrell]

My mother also attends the collegiate university of Yale NH and works there as a tenured full research professor. So go fuck yourself that many more times, fucking virgins, sluts and in-betweens.

Props on the Napoleon Dynamite reference you didn't make at all funny twelve years ago either, longshit. Go back to Japan as a sushi chef once you've graduated from NYU, REMEMBER? Cock-to-the-inhalation-of-gases-smoker. Your fanbase is PB. That makes me score all the worlds' college ass an infinite more amount of times than you will in the afterlife after the next one.



God. Damn. It. Make me leave burnt rubber in places it doesn't belong again, you stupid bitches. There are laws against this shit. Tell me to do it. See what happens. I swear to God.

[BigWorm]

My mother also attends the collegiate university of Yale NH and works there as a tenured full research professor. So go fuck yourself that many more times, fucking virgins, sluts and in-betweens.

Props on the Napoleon Dynamite reference you didn't make at all funny twelve years ago either, longshit. Go back to Japan as a sushi chef once you've graduated from NYU, REMEMBER? Cock-to-the-inhalation-of-gases-smoker. Your fanbase is PB. That makes me score all the worlds' college ass an infinite more amount of times than you will in the afterlife after the next one.



God. Damn. It. Make me leave burnt rubber in places it doesn't belong again, you stupid bitches. There are laws against this shit. Tell me to do it. See what happens. I swear to God.

Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

[Stanley Burrell]

Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I just pooped all over my newsletter because the invisible condom hasn't been invented.

Edit: Or at least believed in.

[longshot]

Props on the Napoleon Dynamite reference you didn't make at all funny twelve years ago either, longshit. Go back to Japan as a sushi chef once you've graduated from NYU, REMEMBER? Cock-to-the-inhalation-of-gases-smoker. Your fanbase is PB. That makes me score all the worlds' college ass an infinite more amount of times than you will in the afterlife after the next one.


It's good that you're focusing on the afterlife, as your life up to this point has been a complete failure. It's not surprising that you periodically break out the hard drugs as a coping mechanism.

Seriously... you seem to have a lot of creative energy. Direct it somewhere else.

I'm going back to Japan... but not as a sushi chef. Sorry.
I go to a better school than NYU. Sorry.


The contact advice is win.

Don't suck up to professors, but strategically get in good with ones that will help you out in the future. I.e. write a good rec (*note, the name on the rec means more then anything else), or hook a job up.



Networking is key, and it's something I didn't do as an undergrad. Don't dismiss anyone... even if they can't directly help you, a lot of times they know someone who can.

I agree with the recommendation advice, but I'm not sure the name is the absolute most important thing.

The big name is helpful, but make sure the recommender can actually say something about you the person. When I applied for the job to go to Japan, I didn't ask the department head of the Japanese program. I asked my prof. at the time, who knew me extremely well.

Don't join the anime club.

[Daniel]

Yea. Let me clarify. you don't want some stock letter "Johnny got a B+ in my hard class), but you want it to be from someone who will draw a close read. Aka, not your gym teacher.

[Arkans]

Do NOT use your part time job during college as a front for selling drugs...

Althugh you will make alot of $$, friends and get lots of ass, there is never a good outcome :(

A friend of mine was ridiculously smart. He was selling cocaine, made a good amount of cash, but got ratted out and is now unemployed, without a college degree, living in his parents house without a future.

On the other hand, I sold marijuana early on and then started selling methamphetamine. Obviously, the second drug got me ridiculously good grades, a lot more money, but goddamn, I was always fretting about getting caught.

I managed to get through and now is the time to consider graduate school. Basically, what it comes down to, is take risks sparingly. So many people went down for selling less drugs and just got screwed. I'd say it isn't worth it in the long run.

- Arkans

[Daniel]

It's not.

[Latrinsorm]

Go abroad. Seriously, Go abroad. It's the only thing you can do where you party all fucking day, take bullshit classes and still somehow come out on top.This is true but it's also worth noting that foreign countries as a rule suck.

[Daniel]

You, my friend, have obviously never been to Spain.

[Arkans]

I can't stress going abroad more. I've never studied abroad, but I've travelled Europe extensively. You'd be an idiot to pass up an opportunity like that.

- Arkans

[Stanley Burrell]

It's good that you're focusing on the afterlife, as your life up to this point has been a complete failure. It's not surprising that you periodically break out the hard drugs as a coping mechanism.

#A) Lexapro, mofo. Damn right and God darn skippy Escitalopram Oxalate is some hardcore shit, because:

2) It lowers your, or at least my libido; that, paired with with the White Man creating HIV and having to make people suffer rubber usage, has made me lose life. I am too chivalrous.


Seriously... you seem to have a lot of creative energy.

Thanks, d00d.


I'm going back to Japan... but not as a sushi chef. Sorry.

Good luck in your travels, my friend. Shout them Hentai octopi hizzies a "mushi mushi" for me. And a barucha borei p`ri hagafen.

Shalom.

[Keller]

I go to a better school than NYU. Sorry.


Where he's going to receive signing bonus for which he's not prepared to pay the extraordinary income tax liability.

[BigWorm]

#A) Lexapro, mofo. Damn right and God darn skippy Escitalopram Oxalate is some hardcore shit, because:

2) It lowers your, or at least my libido; that, paired with with the White Man creating HIV and having to make people suffer rubber usage, has made me lose life. I am too chivalrous.

Lexapro broke my wang when I took it. I could pound and pound and pound, but never finish. This sounds much more useful that it actually is. Sometimes, you just want to cum.

[Hulkein]

Then it technically broke your balls, not your hammer.

[Stanley Burrell]

Lexapro broke my wang when I took it. I could pound and pound and pound, but never finish. This sounds much more useful that it actually is. Sometimes, you just want to cum.

Being 23 and fearing/passing out on at least wanking because you know the job has a medicinally-induced chance of failure is a sad and terrible thing. But so could be the side-effects of my not taking this sheeot?


Then it technically broke your balls, not your hammer.

This is what I shall voice to my psychotherapist. And I shall use these exact words.

Who hasn't had that fantasy before, right? Alright.

[longshot]

Yea. Let me clarify. you don't want some stock letter "Johnny got a B+ in my hard class), but you want it to be from someone who will draw a close read. Aka, not your gym teacher.

Yeah. I figured that's what you meant. Completely agree.

Another thing...

The school will usually have some kind of shitty clinic associated with your health care. They will usually throw a Z-pack at your head to get you out of there.

They usually provide free mental health services... so you don't end up like, well, you know what I mean.

[Stanley Burrell]

They usually provide free mental health services... so you don't end up like, well, you know what I mean.

Get Dave'd in the mouth. Preferably by someone under the care of mental supervision so that they have a legitimate cop-out and attend anger management courses to better themselves.

Use your parent's insurance waiver. And pretend like you actually read this pitiful thread, Alex. Move to an Asian country and let the presumed super-intelligence of positive stereotyping overinflate your ego as well :thumbup: Then insult people on a message board over your shoulder while pseudo-giving knowledge as a facade to perpetuate this retarded-ass shit.

Smoke crack and tie your arm in a woolen sock.

[Stanley Burrell]

I almost forgot:

Make sure instead of going to see your advisor for help, you sign onto a text-based game-related Internet forum and ask questions related to your education there instead. Or even better, wait for people who have a sick infatuation with you to make their own threads because it gives suggestions about your collegiate well-being that much more truthiness.

2 piece tobiko with quail egg and a California handroll, light on the wasabi:

Blowing my brains out just to see what it feels like,

- Ben G.

P.S. Listen to us.