Dumped...for the first time

[PoppycockTheFool]

So last night I was dumped for the first time. Normally, I've been the one to do the breaking up..but not this time. I'm not sure which makes you feel worse but boy do I feel like crap right now.

The worst part is I was dumped because this guy was 23, never had a girlfriend before and he freaked out at the thought of having one. Nice..next time my friends set me up with someone I'll ask for a background check first. Oy vey.

[Betheny]

On to bigger and better things.

Guys that haven't had girlfriends before are usually bad in the sack. You don't want to spend time with someone that can't lay the pipe.

[PoppycockTheFool]

Originally posted by Maimara
On to bigger and better things.

Guys that haven't had girlfriends before are usually bad in the sack. You don't want to spend time with someone that can't lay the pipe.

That wouldnt have been a problem...they can be taught. He was a nice guy too...but I guess immature. Sometimes I think it's just better to stay single.

[Betheny]

:yes: Amen to that.

[Soulpieced]

Guys that haven't had girlfriends before are usually bad in the sack. You don't want to spend time with someone that can't lay the pipe.

.

Terrible attitude. Everyone was a virgin at some point. And from a girl's perspective. You can take a guy and say yeah, I taught him how to shag. Now, the fact that he was 23 and scared of being in a relationship was the problem. But you have to start sometime. But that's definitely his fault.

[Drew2]

Wanted: Pipe Laying Lessons.
Inquire Within.
No purchase necessary.

[Betheny]

I'm not about to expect a mature, meaningful relationship from a virgin, k? It's just totally off the wall.

And, if I have to do all the work, he's g oing to go home in a cab.

[Soulpieced]

I'm not about to expect a mature, meaningful relationship from a virgin, k? It's just totally off the wall.

And, if I have to do all the work, he's g oing to go home in a cab.

.

I lost my virginity when I was 20. I've been with the wonderful lass for going on 2 years now. What's not mature about it? I think it's pretty sad that you actually think that you couldn't have a longstanding mature relationship with someone who was a virgin when you met him.

[Xcalibur]

virginity has nothing to do with that, I agree. It's not a sickness, it's simply something you haven't done yet.

I remember when I was younger guys that masturbate like crazy, and they were still virgin, when they got their first girlfriends guess what happened?

It all depends on your appetite in the first place.

Some guys just don't want real relationship, that's all, you don't have to search 100 reasons

[Edited on 21-12-03 by Xcalibur]

[longshot]

Soulpieced, I'm glad it worked out for you.

You have to realize though, it's a little, well, I don't want to say scary, but rather, there's lots of things you have to consider that you just wouldn't have to deal with if they've already done the deed.

If a girl is over 20 and a virgin, there's a good chance that she has built up sex to be the ultimate act of passion and loving and blah blah that as a guy, I really could care less about.

This means that there's a large chance she's going to freak out and go psycho.

Not to mention any physical pain she might endure...

And that she's going to be a log in the sack...

And that she's going to think you were meant to be together forever.

It's just not worth it.

I completely understand where Maimara is coming from.

I'm not saying that everyone should think like me (the world would abruptly end), but there's definitely a lot more to consider with a member of the V team.

Oh, and Tayre... you should be specific about who you're soliciting. It sounds like you're a "bottom" in search of a "top".

[Soulpieced]

I'm talking about the GUY being a virgin specifically, not either or.

[PoppycockTheFool]

Well thats not even an issue with my case. But at 23 to not be ready for a girlfriend...major oy vey.

I have such a headache cause I keep thinking about this. If he was a total a-hole it would be easy for me not to be upset but he was actually a nice guy. I dunno...this sucks. Sucks sucks sucks sucks suck.

Give me a few days I guess, then i'll cheer up.:thumbsdown:

[Xcalibur]

Eh I can name you at least 10 buddies of mine that aren't ready to have a girlfriend, and 9 of them are 25+

You simply don't know how the idea of having more than one girl when you want is appealing for a lot of guys

[Edited on 21-12-03 by Xcalibur]

[StrayRogue]

I agree X. I ain't ready to meet the girl who'll I'll eventually marry in 10+ years.

Perhaps this guy didn't want a relationship with you because you expected too much of him? The amount of times I've been involved with a woman who expected me to the be father of her children is becoming increasingly annoying.

[Carl Spackler]

Flat out - some girls go nuts if you do anything with them. I'm not saying you're this girl, but maybe this guy doesn't want to get in to that. I've hooked up with this girl like 3 times, and she IM's or calls every day to see what im doing. I just want to be like we weren't friends before we hooked up, and we're not friends now. I figured she'd get the clue when she was walking to my apartment at 2 in the morning and walking home at 4.... but obviously she's crazy and doesn't.

[StrayRogue]

Originally posted by Carl Spackler
Flat out - some girls go nuts if you do anything with them. I'm not saying you're this girl, but maybe this guy doesn't want to get in to that. I've hooked up with this girl like 3 times, and she IM's or calls every day to see what im doing.

Thankgod I am not the only one who has suffered this.

[IcyPoison]

I've come to the conclusion that you need to treat men like shit. Act like you don't like them, make them come after you. Once you've got them, you can show some interest, but if you show too much interest (This is dependant on the man) they'll run right back away. So you once again have to treat them like shit to make them pay any attention to you.

Sometimes it may help to have another person there, be it guy or girl, just someone else to flirt with and give all of your attention to. Once they see that you're more than happy by yourself, that others have interest in you (Especially if you're flirting), they'll cuddle up and be a good guy. (Until they wake up the next day.)

[PoppycockTheFool]

Actually he was the one who would call me like 3 times a day when we were snowed in. He always made room to spend time with me even if he was busy. So really, its not like i was the crazy girl.

In fact, I didnt even make the phone calls most of the time. I dunno, its all very confusing. At least my bud Erik is taking me to NY for the day.

My longest relationship has lasted like 2 months. However, i can guarantee i can lay the pipe ;)

[StrayRogue]

Originally posted by RangerD1
My longest relationship has lasted like 2 months. However, i can guarantee i can lay the pipe ;)

DIES OF SHOCK

[Weedmage Princess]

:rolleyes: Some people.

Anyway, what it all boils down to is some people are ready for different things at different times in their life. Because this guy wasn't ready for a "girlfriend" doesn't mean there was something wrong with you, or something wrong with him. The time just wasn't right for him and guess what? That's how it is sometimes. No one's psycho, no one sucks, no one is an asshole, nothing. That's just the way the cards fell this time. Yes it kind of sucks for you cause it seems you really liked this dude..and from what you have said, it seems he liked you too...but again...he just couldn't take that step. I think that's respectable and he's a stand up guy for being straight up with you and telling you...instead of stringing you along and letting you think whatever you wanted to think when things were actually another way. There are a lot of assholes who do just that.

It's never pleasant when a relationship comes to an end, especially when you genuinely like the person..but..now you're that much closer to finding who/what you really want. Hope you feel better soon.

[Edaarin]

Keep your head up, not all guys are like that, and from what I've seen and the few times I've talked to you, you shouldn't have any problems landing a decent guy.

[Hips]

Heh. This guy sounds kinda like one I know- was a virgin when we first started going out, had never really had a serious girlfriend before... and he turned into one of those clingy guys who calls 3x a day to see what you're up to, and was wayyy too attached for my (and his) own good.

From what I hear, there are "normal" guys out there. You (and me, heh) just gotta find 'em. :smilegrin:

Originally posted by StrayRogue

Originally posted by RangerD1
My longest relationship has lasted like 2 months. However, i can guarantee i can lay the pipe ;)

DIES OF SHOCK


I don't know why you'd be shocked that i can lay the pipe.

[Sean]

Originally posted by PoppycockTheFool
So last night I was dumped for the first time. Normally, I've been the one to do the breaking up..but not this time. I'm not sure which makes you feel worse but boy do I feel like crap right now.

The worst part is I was dumped because this guy was 23, never had a girlfriend before and he freaked out at the thought of having one. Nice..next time my friends set me up with someone I'll ask for a background check first. Oy vey.

sorry to hear that D :(

1st rounds on me.

[Meos]

I used to work as an electrican and a plumber... I know all about layin pipe

[Satira]

Don't let this bother you. If he's a moron then there's nothing you can do about that. Do you really want to deal with someone, who's clearly an emotional weirdo, everyday? No. And you know it.

A lot of times guys who haven't ever had a girlfriend burn themselves out when they get one. They get clingy and think they have to do all this crap in the relationship, and they get tired of it. That's why he probably freaked out. Just find another punk. :P

[Snapp]

I'm with Maim & Longshot, I don't get into relationships with virgins. Things may be great for a while, but sooner or later, they're curious. I don't blame them, I was the same way. Same can be said if it's a first relationship.

[HarmNone]

Another thing to remember: People do weird things at this time of year. It is a high-stress time, and emotions often overcome people. You may find that this guy returns to what passes for normal for him after the holidays. Then, you can decide what you want to do. :)

HarmNone

[PoppycockTheFool]

Thanks everyone. Sean, I'm gonna hold you too that! hehehehe At least my friend Erik too me to NY today. Sadly, I just got dumped and he just started seeing someone. Him and I would make a good team, but timing is everything.

[Betheny]

Originally posted by longshot
I completely understand where Maimara is coming from.


Longshot is my hero.

Too bad you live in Japan.

[Solkern]

Umm all because a guy hasn't had a relationship, doesn't mean he'll be bad in bed, One of my best friends ted, never had a GF, but from what the 50 chicks that i know of, who he has had one night stands with, he's a fucking bbeast in bed. I've only been dumped by one girl in my life, that would be angela/jenisi, it's not a good feeling, but what are relationships? All they are is practice, you find out what you like and on't like and make changes as you get in more relationships.

[Betheny]

Okay, that wasn't what was said Solkern, I said virgins are bad in bed. It's called a 'look at the brighter side' moment. Christ.

[Solkern]

Originally posted by Maimara
On to bigger and better things.

Guys that haven't had girlfriends before are usually bad in the sack. You don't want to spend time with someone that can't lay the pipe.
enough said

[Betheny]

Point being, unless the dude is an egotistic asshole and thinks he's godly and doesn't need a meaningful relationship, he's probably a loser.

But either way, he's a loser.

What's the point of good sex, if you wake up alone the next day? :?:

Am I wrong?

[Solkern]

Maimara, but on the other note, I do get what your saying about vrigins, ALL virgins are bad in bed, guys and girls, cause they have no fucking clue what they are doing.
I was basing my comment off your post.
I had a few one night stands before I had a girlfriend, it's the best way to practice.

[Solkern]

NO your perfectly right, I hate one night stand, I'd rather get laid by someone who means something to me, and when I do wake up, she'll be there, it's a great feeling.
Your right on target with your post.

Originally posted by Maimara
Point being, unless the dude is an egotistic asshole and thinks he's godly and doesn't need a meaningful relationship, he's probably a loser.

But either way, he's a loser.

What's the point of good sex, if you wake up alone the next day? :?:

Am I wrong?

Yes.

I avoid relationships for one reason above all: I have things i'm trying to do with my life and i don't have the room to include anybody else in that.


When i'm older yea, but quite honestly i'm at a point in my life where i have no idea where i'll be or what i'll be doing in the next 6 months so why even bother with the pretense that we'll be together forever?

[Solkern]

IN a relationship,. if it's a true one, Then that person will support you, and help you with whatever your doing, and NOT holding you back. So in truth, Maimara is both right and wrong.

[Solkern]

The biggest fear in everyone's life, is the fear of being alone.

Maybe so, but i can' t afford to take the chance either way <shrug> I don't have a nice cushy safety net like most poeple do. I fall, i go right back to rock bottom.

Truth be told i'm not arguing with you about this, every person is different and each and everyone has to make the decision as to how to live their own lives.

No one else can tell you how to live yours and quite frankly trying to judge somebody because of what they believe or do is ignorant and a complete waste of time.

My personal choices are this: I choose to succeed no matter what cost that might be. Will i possibly miss true love or whatever the fuck? Yea quite possibly, but thats the choice i make. I can't tell you when and if i'll ever find the person i want to spend my life with, but i can sure as hell tell you that you'll never catch me, my kids, my spouse or my loved ones back on S. Michigan ave livin the High life.

Originally posted by Solkern
The biggest fear in everyone's life, is the fear of being alone.

It may certainly be yours, but its not mine.

[Solkern]

No, i'll put money down it's yours, you just haven't come to the realization of it yet.

[Betheny]

I'm not sure that my biggest fear in life is being alone, more like... my biggest fear in life is regretting not knowing what could have happened if I didn't take a chance, whether it be on love or whatever.

[Solkern]

When you come to the realization. Going thru life alone? that scares teh shit out of everyone. like I said, most people don't realize it till way later in life. supposely

Originally posted by Solkern
No, i'll put money down it's yours, you just haven't come to the realization of it yet.

Okay. How much do you want to bet. I'll give you any time frame you want, 5 10 20 years.


I so love it when people try and tell me about myself.

Fuck it, ill save you the trouble.

Solkern, i've been alone for the predominant portion of my life. I had an emotionally and physically abusive father and a scared mother for was hardly ever around because she was trying to take care of business.

I didn't have a single real friend until the age of 15, and even at that time the spent with them was minimal. 6 days after graduating from High school i left for basic training in the United States, where i was one of three black people, admist 500-600 other people from various cultures and back grounds. Currerntly i live 2500 miles from home and talk to my family at most once a month, and my friends once a year. The last time i have seen several of my "Close" Friends was at my HS graduation. Having been in the great state of washington for over 18 months i have yet to meet a single person i would classify as anything above acquiantence.

Furthermore, at the age of 17 i was in a fight that broke my father's jaw and completely shattered my right wrist.

From the aug 2001 to may 2002 i was in a military training environment when i had little to no contact with anybody i knew prior to joining the military.

I've been known to completely cut off contact with my mother (quite arguably the only person i give a fuck about) over verbal arguments for extended periods of time (think 6+ months)

Excuse the ramblings but these are just a couple of the examples i could give. Nevertheless, the point remains that i have no fear whatsoever of being alone. In fact, i tend to go out of my way to facilitate it.

But of course you are free to believe anything you want about me.

[Solkern]

See when you say being alone, you have it defined so closely, When I mean alone, I define it in a bigger range then you, alone means being TRUELY alone.

[Solkern]

IF you have a problem, or something bad has happened, you turn to someone and tell someone, your NOT alone, if you have NO one to turn to, no one to talk to, your alone.

What? Okay, i guess you missed the point i made about not any friends until the age of 15 and then having minmal contact otherwise after that.

Either way, how much do you wanna bet?

[Solkern]

Any friends till 15, your saying when you had problems you didnt talk to your teachers? parents? relatives? you didnt have any pets? BULLSHIT if you say you didn't

[Edited on 12-22-2003 by Solkern]

Lets see..teachers..no..i hated school. Always have always will....told you about my parents...relatives..hmm well considering i didn't live within a hour and a half drive of them..no...pets...heh...no....

But either way, you've proven yourself time and time again as being incapable of seeing past your own nose so i'll just withdraw from this conversation right now.

[Sean]

yea so uh any advice for D on her issue? personal feelings on what its like to be dumped for the 1st time? things like that?

D knows what i think of her situation, but i'll point out that for me being dumped hurt bad the 1st time it happened but i dont know anyone who takes rejection well. but i dont think its a bad thing. its a life experience and ive learned from the situation and reevaluated some of the ways i go about relationships because of it. anyway just my person two cents.

[Overlord]

All in all i could live life alone, its definately managable. But on the other hand it definately gets me down at times when i don't have someone to confide in, or hell just to hug and hold. *mutters* I'm not what you'd call a sensative guy but I still need love... Longest relationships i had were both 2 years approx. One fucked me over, I'm done with immature women for good. And well theres also the fact that I'm here in pleasanton alone with few friends.. bar scene gets old. At this point work and school completely rule my life. 9 hours (occasionally more) of work a day, 5 hours school a day oh joy, life has become ever so mundaine... insert crowbar here.

[Overlord]

On topic being dumped for the first time... ehe most breaking ups i had were a mutual agreement (At least so i thought at the time). General reasons were because the damn woman can't communicate jack shit. And its not like i'm ignoring them, asking questions showin affection but nooooo she'd rather keep it to herself in fear of scaring me off pffft Right there 2 brief relationships gone. Mostly because i suppose they were too immature.

I despise my existance sometimes....

Aha well breaks over back to mass amounts of ignorant customers and getting their shipments.

[Edaarin]

Rejection hurts, but that's what friends are for. I'm glad I have buddies who punch me when I'm feeling down, force liquor down my throat, and tell me to stop being a pussy and get the fuck over it.

...

I hate my friends.

Shut up pussy

[PoppycockTheFool]

Now the tool is gonna be at my friends New Years Party. He says to me online last night "I want you to be there." My responce was something along the lines of "Great, so I can feel uncomfortable the entire time...thanks man." LOL

Tool.

[PoppycockTheFool]

Oh I should clarify something, in the past when I've broken up with guys I've cut all ties with them. So for this guy to dump me and then want to "be friends" doesnt really work so well in my mind.

The best part is, I've known the guy throwing the party since I was 12. This tool has known him for a few months. I just kinda wish he wasnt gonna be there. He's already given up his spot for our Atlantic City trip (although I probably wont go anyway now) but I wish he wasnt gonna be at the party too.

I know I'm being immature but I really dont want to be around someone who's rejected me. Especially during the holidays, it makes it extra harsh. Oh well....I shall live. :drunk:

[Weedmage Princess]

Eeeek, yeah I can see how that would be ugly. Anyone else you can go with or someone who will be there that you can hang out with exclusively? Not even a "romantic" interest (although that's always nice), not someone to make the guy feel jealous...someone who you know you'll have a kick ass time with and can help take your mind off this guy for a bit. That's always the way to go. Enjoy yourself and let him see that you're having a good time completely independant of him. That actually may touch a nerve or two..hee.