GOD
12-19-2003, 09:37 AM
Heres the Late Show top ten from the last few nights that are directed at Sadaam, i missed them so i figured i'd post them incase anyone else did too...
Top Ten Secrets Learned From Saddam Hussein's Papers
10. "Saddam" is Kurdish for "Duane"
9. Had just acquired a New York City cabdriver's license
8. Surprisingly, dots his "I"s with hearts
7. You won't find a bigger Clay Aiken fan
6. Four of clubs? Gay
5. His "divine plan for world domination" was written on back of Blimpie's coupon
4. Continued to name himself "Iraqi of the Month" right through November
3. Was working on a book of "You Might Be a Dictator If..." jokes
2. Funneled money to ABC to throw Trista and Ryan a fabulous wedding
1. He wrote letters to "Penthouse" under name "Sexy in Spider Hole"
Top Ten Questions Asked By Saddam Hussein When He Was Captured
10. "Be honest...have you ever seen a nicer spider hole than this?"
9. "Who's got a coat hanger -- this beard itches like a son of a bitch!"
8. "Anyone have a mint?"
7. "Is this about the illegal music downloads?"
6. "Am I going to be on 'Cops'?"
5. "Which describes me better right now -- 'haggard' or 'grizzled'?"
4. "How did you get past my impenetrable styrofoam brick?"
3. "Do I get the 25-million-dollar reward?"
2. "How's the war going?"
1. "Will you go easy on me if I tell you where Martha Stewart is hiding?"
Top Ten Other Observations Made By Saddam Hussein's Daughter
10. "Once you get to know him, he's really nice until he kills you"
9. "The real crime is he's not getting a penny from being on those playing cards"
8. "If anyone wants a giant portrait of Saddam, I've got a garage full of them"
7. "When Uday and Qusay hear about this, they're gonna lose it"
6. "My dad isn't as screwed as the New York Giants"
5. "Compared to the Jacksons, my family is not so odd"
4. "That 'Lord of the Rings' crap is an absolute nerd-fest"
3. "Oprah's nuts if she doesn't appear on the Super Bowl of Love"
2. "While in Tikrit, try the Iraqi kabob at Ernies. Thank me later"
1. "That wasn't Saddam -- that was Nick Nolte"
-John
Top Ten Secrets Learned From Saddam Hussein's Papers
10. "Saddam" is Kurdish for "Duane"
9. Had just acquired a New York City cabdriver's license
8. Surprisingly, dots his "I"s with hearts
7. You won't find a bigger Clay Aiken fan
6. Four of clubs? Gay
5. His "divine plan for world domination" was written on back of Blimpie's coupon
4. Continued to name himself "Iraqi of the Month" right through November
3. Was working on a book of "You Might Be a Dictator If..." jokes
2. Funneled money to ABC to throw Trista and Ryan a fabulous wedding
1. He wrote letters to "Penthouse" under name "Sexy in Spider Hole"
Top Ten Questions Asked By Saddam Hussein When He Was Captured
10. "Be honest...have you ever seen a nicer spider hole than this?"
9. "Who's got a coat hanger -- this beard itches like a son of a bitch!"
8. "Anyone have a mint?"
7. "Is this about the illegal music downloads?"
6. "Am I going to be on 'Cops'?"
5. "Which describes me better right now -- 'haggard' or 'grizzled'?"
4. "How did you get past my impenetrable styrofoam brick?"
3. "Do I get the 25-million-dollar reward?"
2. "How's the war going?"
1. "Will you go easy on me if I tell you where Martha Stewart is hiding?"
Top Ten Other Observations Made By Saddam Hussein's Daughter
10. "Once you get to know him, he's really nice until he kills you"
9. "The real crime is he's not getting a penny from being on those playing cards"
8. "If anyone wants a giant portrait of Saddam, I've got a garage full of them"
7. "When Uday and Qusay hear about this, they're gonna lose it"
6. "My dad isn't as screwed as the New York Giants"
5. "Compared to the Jacksons, my family is not so odd"
4. "That 'Lord of the Rings' crap is an absolute nerd-fest"
3. "Oprah's nuts if she doesn't appear on the Super Bowl of Love"
2. "While in Tikrit, try the Iraqi kabob at Ernies. Thank me later"
1. "That wasn't Saddam -- that was Nick Nolte"
-John