alter help

[pabstblueribbon]

hello. Found a light longcoat. Here's what I have so far. Criticism, suggestions, outright flames welcome. Heh.

a blackened doomstone studded longcloak cinched tight with numerous straps and fastenings

Its for a Gosaena worshiper. I wanted to work pale green into the doomstones but couldnt work it in without it looking cludgy.. pale green doomstone longcloak just sounded shitty..

Anyways, suggest away!

[B2]

doomstone-studded should be hyphenated. Otherwise, you mean that you have a doomstone longcloak and a studded longcloak. HYPHENS ARE VERY IMPORTANT.

[Methais]

I suck with alters, but you should post the full size image of your sig with that guy riding his dog mount.

[radamanthys]

how can a cloak be blackened? I mean, scorched, charred, etc. Blackened sounds like something cooked or dirty.

[pabstblueribbon]

uh.. blackened is a synonym for scorched. its been blackened.. by soot, or heat, or whatever.

[Stanley Burrell]

a blackened doomstone studded longcloak cinched tight with numerous straps and fastenings

If it were chick-like, I'd go more with...

(And had to abide by 15/15/15)...

SHOW: A strange, yet formidable neck-crown for a queen is evident in the rarest of petal cuts and many a karat in each blackened stone's splintering of a wither.

A simple hood's daring glare lurches out and around the doomstoones circle, clutching in a dark clay fist the volcanically burning fire of each gem's virgin worth, a truly acceptable racism theory of scientific worth.

The conflict intense, fights a wartorn skirmish, marring the life of a beast, made into another beastly abomination of feral dark sorcerous, now wearable as a warrior's trophy to the mad Arkati of the hunting circle.

Pock-marks aplenty and flirtatious cuts of hardened leather, worn with more pride than its unmarked ancestor of life past could ever have bared.

The fastenings of madness, runes begot from the thought of nightmares bottled and spit with the most horrid viscosity of mucus, yet combined with the undying element to break law of the Divine Elanthian Gods by going about setting fire to tiny clutters of straws, quickly igniting a nearby Dark-Elven life's length in dryness without rain's bundle of log piles assurance to inspire childhood Cowboy fetishism is it's universal Gosaena, perfectly balanced constant evident.

[pabstblueribbon]

Ha. Im speechless. :p

Btw, Gosaena, not Eorgina.

Its for a male dwarf paladin.

[Zasken]

a blackened doomstone studded longcloak cinched tight with numerous straps and fastenings

Its for a Gosaena worshiper. I wanted to work pale green into the doomstones but couldnt work it in without it looking cludgy.. pale green doomstone longcloak just sounded shitty..

Anyways, suggest away!

Why not something like 'a charred longcloak with pale green doomstone studs, held tight with many straps and fastenings'

It could probably still use some work. Is that what you meant about the pale green and doomstones?

-Z

or

'a fitted dark longcloak with many silvery buckles and studded with pale green doomstones'

[Peanut Butter Jelly Time]

For the sake of not being godly complicated, why not just start with a material that is both elegant, and naturally black, ala nightmare hide.

a tailored nightmare hide greatcloak clasped with a faceted pale green doomstone

[The Ponzzz]

I'd make it have a show.

[diethx]

I'd make it not be ugly.