players corner story

[Jayvn]

Yeah I'm sure we've had plenty in the past...but today's threads are boring the crap out of me for the most part :(.... I know we had one where you add a single word..or at least I think we did... so... add a sentence to the story and see where you sick fucks take it.. lol.
maybe if I get really bored I'll compile it into a single post instead of lots of posts to scroll through.
~Jayvn



The story-
I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks.

[Arkans]

The story-
I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior.

[TheEschaton]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans.

[radamanthys]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh.

[CrystalTears]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look.

[Gan]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with.

[Sean]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon.

[Stanley Burrell]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...

[CrystalTears]

And a SENTENCE, you fuckwit.

[Stanley Burrell]

Oops.

Can I claim copyright if this gets published?

[Celephais]

And a SENTENCE, you fuckwit.
ADD a sentence, you fuckwit.

:help:

[CrystalTears]

Thanks. I'm having a bad PMS day. Stand back.

[Stanley Burrell]

CT almost spoke about her vagina, hawt.

[CrystalTears]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

[Zentoph]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one. Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right.

[Warriorbird]

Here's a Children's Story.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRC4ziQpb5I

[Davenshire]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...

I slowly proceeded into the bathroom in a rage. I railed at myself in the mirror, begging god for forgivness. I only killed the prostitute because she laughed at me when I took my pants off because my name is soreal.

[Gan]

Way to fuck it up Davenshire.

:clap:

[Davenshire]

bah!


:(

[Allereli]

And then, being Jayvn, I put down the drugs, stopped reading the boards, AND FINISHED ALCHEMY.

no, not a real sentence for the story. Carry on, unless you're D.

[RichardCranium]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

That shit really happens. Seeing pink elephants I mean. I never tried to ride them. Once was XTC and once was acid.

I feel dumb.

[Stanley Burrell]

That shit really happens. Seeing pink elephants I mean. I never tried to ride them. Once was XTC and once was acid.

I feel dumb.

If you saw turtles, WOULD YOU LIKE THEM?

[B4Hand]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one. Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

[Sean of the Thread]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

[Methais]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . .

[Jayvn]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull.

[AnticorRifling]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

[Amber]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

The good news was that realizing I'd been anally raped had sobered me up and wiped all traces of my throbbing headache away.

[Kuyuk]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

The good news was that realizing I'd been anally raped had sobered me up and wiped all traces of my throbbing headache away.

As always, after a good anal raping, I get the munchies, and decided to order some chocolate from some awesome fucker on the internet. His website is www.amorcacao.com and his chocolates are fucking delicious. Almost as delicious as Stanleys Mexicock after it's done in my poo hole.

[radamanthys]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

The good news was that realizing I'd been anally raped had sobered me up and wiped all traces of my throbbing headache away.

As always, after a good anal raping, I get the munchies, and decided to order some chocolate from some awesome fucker on the internet. His website is www.amorcacao.com and his chocolates are fucking delicious. Almost as delicious as Stanleys Mexicock after it's done in my poo hole. And delicious they were. I actually jizzed myself when I first took a bite. Which was really awkward because I was with my grandma.

Speaking of Poo Holes, I figure I should tell you about the Cardinals game I went to in St. Louis the other night. What a fucked up night that was.

[Methais]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

The good news was that realizing I'd been anally raped had sobered me up and wiped all traces of my throbbing headache away.

As always, after a good anal raping, I get the munchies, and decided to order some chocolate from some awesome fucker on the internet. His website is www.amorcacao.com and his chocolates are fucking delicious. Almost as delicious as Stanleys Mexicock after it's done in my poo hole. And delicious they were. I actually jizzed myself when I first took a bite. Which was really awkward because I was with my grandma.

Speaking of Poo Holes, I figure I should tell you about the Cardinals game I went to in St. Louis the other night. What a fucked up night that was. The pitcher hit the batter with a fastball, and the benches began to clear as the crowd went crazy with excitement over the brawl about to take place. Just as fists started flying, the ground began to shake violently. As everyone braced themselves for the tremors, a message began to scroll across the scoreboard. It began with "[SEND] Andraste:", and as the text scrolled across the screen it said...

[Asha]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

The good news was that realizing I'd been anally raped had sobered me up and wiped all traces of my throbbing headache away.

As always, after a good anal raping, I get the munchies, and decided to order some chocolate from some awesome fucker on the internet. His website is www.amorcacao.com and his chocolates are fucking delicious. Almost as delicious as Stanleys Mexicock after it's done in my poo hole. And delicious they were. I actually jizzed myself when I first took a bite. Which was really awkward because I was with my grandma.

Speaking of Poo Holes, I figure I should tell you about the Cardinals game I went to in St. Louis the other night. What a fucked up night that was. The pitcher hit the batter with a fastball, and the benches began to clear as the crowd went crazy with excitement over the brawl about to take place. Just as fists started flying, the ground began to shake violently. As everyone braced themselves for the tremors, a message began to scroll across the scoreboard. It began with "[SEND] Andraste:", and as the text scrolled across the screen it said...''Cease or you'll be banned, I have infinite power and am a real life Amazon and to show you my powers so you don't cross me..

[Rucca]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

The good news was that realizing I'd been anally raped had sobered me up and wiped all traces of my throbbing headache away.

As always, after a good anal raping, I get the munchies, and decided to order some chocolate from some awesome fucker on the internet. His website is www.amorcacao.com and his chocolates are fucking delicious. Almost as delicious as Stanleys Mexicock after it's done in my poo hole. And delicious they were. I actually jizzed myself when I first took a bite. Which was really awkward because I was with my grandma.

Speaking of Poo Holes, I figure I should tell you about the Cardinals game I went to in St. Louis the other night. What a fucked up night that was. The pitcher hit the batter with a fastball, and the benches began to clear as the crowd went crazy with excitement over the brawl about to take place. Just as fists started flying, the ground began to shake violently. As everyone braced themselves for the tremors, a message began to scroll across the scoreboard. It began with "[SEND] Andraste:", and as the text scrolled across the screen it said...''Cease or you'll be banned, I have infinite power and am a real life Amazon and to show you my powers so you don't cross me...

This scared me ALMOST as much as spotting an anchovy on my pizza that I could think of nothing else but leaping off of the bleachers and into the chaos that was now ensuing, shrieking at the top of my lungs, "BAN THIS!!!!"...

[Stanley Burrell]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

The good news was that realizing I'd been anally raped had sobered me up and wiped all traces of my throbbing headache away.

As always, after a good anal raping, I get the munchies, and decided to order some chocolate from some awesome fucker on the internet. His website is www.amorcacao.com and his chocolates are fucking delicious. Almost as delicious as Stanleys Mexicock after it's done in my poo hole. And delicious they were. I actually jizzed myself when I first took a bite. Which was really awkward because I was with my grandma.

Speaking of Poo Holes, I figure I should tell you about the Cardinals game I went to in St. Louis the other night. What a fucked up night that was. The pitcher hit the batter with a fastball, and the benches began to clear as the crowd went crazy with excitement over the brawl about to take place. Just as fists started flying, the ground began to shake violently. As everyone braced themselves for the tremors, a message began to scroll across the scoreboard. It began with "[SEND] Andraste:", and as the text scrolled across the screen it said...''Cease or you'll be banned, I have infinite power and am a real life Amazon and to show you my powers so you don't cross me...

This scared me ALMOST as much as spotting an anchovy on my pizza that I could think of nothing else but leaping off of the bleachers and into the chaos that was now ensuing, shrieking at the top of my lungs, "BAN THIS!!!!"... Shrieking again, ""BAN THIS!!!!"

[TheEschaton]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

The good news was that realizing I'd been anally raped had sobered me up and wiped all traces of my throbbing headache away.

As always, after a good anal raping, I get the munchies, and decided to order some chocolate from some awesome fucker on the internet. His website is www.amorcacao.com and his chocolates are fucking delicious. Almost as delicious as Stanleys Mexicock after it's done in my poo hole. And delicious they were. I actually jizzed myself when I first took a bite. Which was really awkward because I was with my grandma.

Speaking of Poo Holes, I figure I should tell you about the Cardinals game I went to in St. Louis the other night. What a fucked up night that was. The pitcher hit the batter with a fastball, and the benches began to clear as the crowd went crazy with excitement over the brawl about to take place. Just as fists started flying, the ground began to shake violently. As everyone braced themselves for the tremors, a message began to scroll across the scoreboard. It began with "[SEND] Andraste:", and as the text scrolled across the screen it said...''Cease or you'll be banned, I have infinite power and am a real life Amazon and to show you my powers so you don't cross me...

This scared me ALMOST as much as spotting an anchovy on my pizza that I could think of nothing else but leaping off of the bleachers and into the chaos that was now ensuing, shrieking at the top of my lungs, "BAN THIS!!!!"... Shrieking again, ""BAN THIS!!!!"

I then thought to myself, I use too many damn ellipses in my inner monologue.

[Keller]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

The good news was that realizing I'd been anally raped had sobered me up and wiped all traces of my throbbing headache away.

As always, after a good anal raping, I get the munchies, and decided to order some chocolate from some awesome fucker on the internet. His website is www.amorcacao.com (http://www.amorcacao.com/) and his chocolates are fucking delicious. Almost as delicious as Stanleys Mexicock after it's done in my poo hole. And delicious they were. I actually jizzed myself when I first took a bite. Which was really awkward because I was with my grandma.

Speaking of Poo Holes, I figure I should tell you about the Cardinals game I went to in St. Louis the other night. What a fucked up night that was. The pitcher hit the batter with a fastball, and the benches began to clear as the crowd went crazy with excitement over the brawl about to take place. Just as fists started flying, the ground began to shake violently. As everyone braced themselves for the tremors, a message began to scroll across the scoreboard. It began with "[SEND] Andraste:", and as the text scrolled across the screen it said...''Cease or you'll be banned, I have infinite power and am a real life Amazon and to show you my powers so you don't cross me...

This scared me ALMOST as much as spotting an anchovy on my pizza that I could think of nothing else but leaping off of the bleachers and into the chaos that was now ensuing, shrieking at the top of my lungs, "BAN THIS!!!!"... Shrieking again, ""BAN THIS!!!!"

I then thought to myself, I use too many damn ellipses in my inner monologue. It must be a byproduct of my perfect fluency in Morse code.

[Amber]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

The good news was that realizing I'd been anally raped had sobered me up and wiped all traces of my throbbing headache away.

As always, after a good anal raping, I get the munchies, and decided to order some chocolate from some awesome fucker on the internet. His website is www.amorcacao.com and his chocolates are fucking delicious. Almost as delicious as Stanleys Mexicock after it's done in my poo hole. And delicious they were. I actually jizzed myself when I first took a bite. Which was really awkward because I was with my grandma.

Speaking of Poo Holes, I figure I should tell you about the Cardinals game I went to in St. Louis the other night. What a fucked up night that was. The pitcher hit the batter with a fastball, and the benches began to clear as the crowd went crazy with excitement over the brawl about to take place. Just as fists started flying, the ground began to shake violently. As everyone braced themselves for the tremors, a message began to scroll across the scoreboard. It began with "[SEND] Andraste:", and as the text scrolled across the screen it said...''Cease or you'll be banned, I have infinite power and am a real life Amazon and to show you my powers so you don't cross me...

This scared me ALMOST as much as spotting an anchovy on my pizza that I could think of nothing else but leaping off of the bleachers and into the chaos that was now ensuing, shrieking at the top of my lungs, "BAN THIS!!!!"... Shrieking again, ""BAN THIS!!!!"

I then thought to myself, I use too many damn ellipses in my inner monologue. It must be a byproduct of my perfect fluency in Morse code. "Yes...yes...," I thought to myself. "Far too many ellipses in my inner monologue...far too many ellipses...ellipses...ellipses....elliptical trainer!." Suddenly I knew how I could hide the dead hooker's body.

[Stanley Burrell]

Oh my God. I actually read this for the first time. I love you.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

The good news was that realizing I'd been anally raped had sobered me up and wiped all traces of my throbbing headache away.

As always, after a good anal raping, I get the munchies, and decided to order some chocolate from some awesome fucker on the internet. His website is www.amorcacao.com and his chocolates are fucking delicious. Almost as delicious as Stanleys Mexicock after it's done in my poo hole. And delicious they were. I actually jizzed myself when I first took a bite. Which was really awkward because I was with my grandma.

Speaking of Poo Holes, I figure I should tell you about the Cardinals game I went to in St. Louis the other night. What a fucked up night that was. The pitcher hit the batter with a fastball, and the benches began to clear as the crowd went crazy with excitement over the brawl about to take place. Just as fists started flying, the ground began to shake violently. As everyone braced themselves for the tremors, a message began to scroll across the scoreboard. It began with "[SEND] Andraste:", and as the text scrolled across the screen it said...''Cease or you'll be banned, I have infinite power and am a real life Amazon and to show you my powers so you don't cross me...

This scared me ALMOST as much as spotting an anchovy on my pizza that I could think of nothing else but leaping off of the bleachers and into the chaos that was now ensuing, shrieking at the top of my lungs, "BAN THIS!!!!"... Shrieking again, ""BAN THIS!!!!"

I then thought to myself, I use too many damn ellipses in my inner monologue. It must be a byproduct of my perfect fluency in Morse code. "Yes...yes...," I thought to myself. "Far too many ellipses in my inner monologue...far too many ellipses...ellipses...ellipses....elliptical trainer!." Suddenly I knew how I could hide the dead hooker's body. Before I lost my brilliant idea I ran to the store and bought a coloring book, two rolls of duct tape, a jumbo size bag of candy, Jergens hand lotion, and an assortment of pre-cut tropical fruit. Having all of the materials I needed, I executed the next stage of my plan.

[Warriorbird]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjNTu8jdukA

[Delias]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

The good news was that realizing I'd been anally raped had sobered me up and wiped all traces of my throbbing headache away.

As always, after a good anal raping, I get the munchies, and decided to order some chocolate from some awesome fucker on the internet. His website is www.amorcacao.com and his chocolates are fucking delicious. Almost as delicious as Stanleys Mexicock after it's done in my poo hole. And delicious they were. I actually jizzed myself when I first took a bite. Which was really awkward because I was with my grandma.

Speaking of Poo Holes, I figure I should tell you about the Cardinals game I went to in St. Louis the other night. What a fucked up night that was. The pitcher hit the batter with a fastball, and the benches began to clear as the crowd went crazy with excitement over the brawl about to take place. Just as fists started flying, the ground began to shake violently. As everyone braced themselves for the tremors, a message began to scroll across the scoreboard. It began with "[SEND] Andraste:", and as the text scrolled across the screen it said...''Cease or you'll be banned, I have infinite power and am a real life Amazon and to show you my powers so you don't cross me...

This scared me ALMOST as much as spotting an anchovy on my pizza that I could think of nothing else but leaping off of the bleachers and into the chaos that was now ensuing, shrieking at the top of my lungs, "BAN THIS!!!!"... Shrieking again, ""BAN THIS!!!!"

I then thought to myself, I use too many damn ellipses in my inner monologue. It must be a byproduct of my perfect fluency in Morse code. "Yes...yes...," I thought to myself. "Far too many ellipses in my inner monologue...far too many ellipses...ellipses...ellipses....elliptical trainer!." Suddenly I knew how I could hide the dead hooker's body. Before I lost my brilliant idea I ran to the store and bought a coloring book, two rolls of duct tape, a jumbo size bag of candy, Jergens hand lotion, and an assortment of pre-cut tropical fruit. Having all of the materials I needed, I executed the next stage of my plan.

The weight of the dead hooker was a definitely a problem, and I realized there was no way I was hiding this land-whale in the elliptical trainer without some serious modifications.

[Methais]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

The good news was that realizing I'd been anally raped had sobered me up and wiped all traces of my throbbing headache away.

As always, after a good anal raping, I get the munchies, and decided to order some chocolate from some awesome fucker on the internet. His website is www.amorcacao.com and his chocolates are fucking delicious. Almost as delicious as Stanleys Mexicock after it's done in my poo hole. And delicious they were. I actually jizzed myself when I first took a bite. Which was really awkward because I was with my grandma.

Speaking of Poo Holes, I figure I should tell you about the Cardinals game I went to in St. Louis the other night. What a fucked up night that was. The pitcher hit the batter with a fastball, and the benches began to clear as the crowd went crazy with excitement over the brawl about to take place. Just as fists started flying, the ground began to shake violently. As everyone braced themselves for the tremors, a message began to scroll across the scoreboard. It began with "[SEND] Andraste:", and as the text scrolled across the screen it said...''Cease or you'll be banned, I have infinite power and am a real life Amazon and to show you my powers so you don't cross me...

This scared me ALMOST as much as spotting an anchovy on my pizza that I could think of nothing else but leaping off of the bleachers and into the chaos that was now ensuing, shrieking at the top of my lungs, "BAN THIS!!!!"... Shrieking again, ""BAN THIS!!!!"

I then thought to myself, I use too many damn ellipses in my inner monologue. It must be a byproduct of my perfect fluency in Morse code. "Yes...yes...," I thought to myself. "Far too many ellipses in my inner monologue...far too many ellipses...ellipses...ellipses....elliptical trainer!." Suddenly I knew how I could hide the dead hooker's body. Before I lost my brilliant idea I ran to the store and bought a coloring book, two rolls of duct tape, a jumbo size bag of candy, Jergens hand lotion, and an assortment of pre-cut tropical fruit. Having all of the materials I needed, I executed the next stage of my plan.

The weight of the dead hooker was a definitely a problem, and I realized there was no way I was hiding this land-whale in the elliptical trainer without some serious modifications. So I threw her into a meat grinder that just happened to be there and made 4 oz. hooker patties. I boxed them all up and went door to door selling them as specialty meats the following day. The first house I knocked on...

[radamanthys]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

The good news was that realizing I'd been anally raped had sobered me up and wiped all traces of my throbbing headache away.

As always, after a good anal raping, I get the munchies, and decided to order some chocolate from some awesome fucker on the internet. His website is www.amorcacao.com and his chocolates are fucking delicious. Almost as delicious as Stanleys Mexicock after it's done in my poo hole. And delicious they were. I actually jizzed myself when I first took a bite. Which was really awkward because I was with my grandma.

Speaking of Poo Holes, I figure I should tell you about the Cardinals game I went to in St. Louis the other night. What a fucked up night that was. The pitcher hit the batter with a fastball, and the benches began to clear as the crowd went crazy with excitement over the brawl about to take place. Just as fists started flying, the ground began to shake violently. As everyone braced themselves for the tremors, a message began to scroll across the scoreboard. It began with "[SEND] Andraste:", and as the text scrolled across the screen it said...''Cease or you'll be banned, I have infinite power and am a real life Amazon and to show you my powers so you don't cross me...

This scared me ALMOST as much as spotting an anchovy on my pizza that I could think of nothing else but leaping off of the bleachers and into the chaos that was now ensuing, shrieking at the top of my lungs, "BAN THIS!!!!"... Shrieking again, ""BAN THIS!!!!"

I then thought to myself, I use too many damn ellipses in my inner monologue. It must be a byproduct of my perfect fluency in Morse code. "Yes...yes...," I thought to myself. "Far too many ellipses in my inner monologue...far too many ellipses...ellipses...ellipses....elliptical trainer!." Suddenly I knew how I could hide the dead hooker's body. Before I lost my brilliant idea I ran to the store and bought a coloring book, two rolls of duct tape, a jumbo size bag of candy, Jergens hand lotion, and an assortment of pre-cut tropical fruit. Having all of the materials I needed, I executed the next stage of my plan.

The weight of the dead hooker was a definitely a problem, and I realized there was no way I was hiding this land-whale in the elliptical trainer without some serious modifications. So I threw her into a meat grinder that just happened to be there and made 4 oz. hooker patties. I boxed them all up and went door to door selling them as specialty meats the following day. The first house I knocked on... crap where was I? Sorry, I have a little eight year old thai boy servicing me under my desk. It's rather distracting. As I was saying, the first house I knocked on turned out to be Bob Hope's place. He was sitting in a high-backed leather chair wearing a red velvet smoking jacket. I couldn't believe it, but he saw through my brilliant plan. He asked, "You brought me hooker burgers? You're so kind. And cute, too." He pointed to a table and raised an eyebrow in my direction. "Why don't you just put those down over there and

[Amber]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

The good news was that realizing I'd been anally raped had sobered me up and wiped all traces of my throbbing headache away.

As always, after a good anal raping, I get the munchies, and decided to order some chocolate from some awesome fucker on the internet. His website is www.amorcacao.com and his chocolates are fucking delicious. Almost as delicious as Stanleys Mexicock after it's done in my poo hole. And delicious they were. I actually jizzed myself when I first took a bite. Which was really awkward because I was with my grandma.

Speaking of Poo Holes, I figure I should tell you about the Cardinals game I went to in St. Louis the other night. What a fucked up night that was. The pitcher hit the batter with a fastball, and the benches began to clear as the crowd went crazy with excitement over the brawl about to take place. Just as fists started flying, the ground began to shake violently. As everyone braced themselves for the tremors, a message began to scroll across the scoreboard. It began with "[SEND] Andraste:", and as the text scrolled across the screen it said...''Cease or you'll be banned, I have infinite power and am a real life Amazon and to show you my powers so you don't cross me...

This scared me ALMOST as much as spotting an anchovy on my pizza that I could think of nothing else but leaping off of the bleachers and into the chaos that was now ensuing, shrieking at the top of my lungs, "BAN THIS!!!!"... Shrieking again, ""BAN THIS!!!!"

I then thought to myself, I use too many damn ellipses in my inner monologue. It must be a byproduct of my perfect fluency in Morse code. "Yes...yes...," I thought to myself. "Far too many ellipses in my inner monologue...far too many ellipses...ellipses...ellipses....elliptical trainer!." Suddenly I knew how I could hide the dead hooker's body. Before I lost my brilliant idea I ran to the store and bought a coloring book, two rolls of duct tape, a jumbo size bag of candy, Jergens hand lotion, and an assortment of pre-cut tropical fruit. Having all of the materials I needed, I executed the next stage of my plan.

The weight of the dead hooker was a definitely a problem, and I realized there was no way I was hiding this land-whale in the elliptical trainer without some serious modifications. So I threw her into a meat grinder that just happened to be there and made 4 oz. hooker patties. I boxed them all up and went door to door selling them as specialty meats the following day. The first house I knocked on... crap where was I? Sorry, I have a little eight year old thai boy servicing me under my desk. It's rather distracting. As I was saying, the first house I knocked on turned out to be Bob Hope's place. He was sitting in a high-backed leather chair wearing a red velvet smoking jacket. I couldn't believe it, but he saw through my brilliant plan. He asked, "You brought me hooker burgers? You're so kind. And cute, too." He pointed to a table and raised an eyebrow in my direction. "Why don't you just put those down over there and slip out of those uncomfortable-looking black high heel platform shoes? I've got a nice comfy pair of fuzzy pink bunny slippers you can wear instead."

[Jayvn]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

The good news was that realizing I'd been anally raped had sobered me up and wiped all traces of my throbbing headache away.

As always, after a good anal raping, I get the munchies, and decided to order some chocolate from some awesome fucker on the internet. His website is www.amorcacao.com and his chocolates are fucking delicious. Almost as delicious as Stanleys Mexicock after it's done in my poo hole. And delicious they were. I actually jizzed myself when I first took a bite. Which was really awkward because I was with my grandma.

Speaking of Poo Holes, I figure I should tell you about the Cardinals game I went to in St. Louis the other night. What a fucked up night that was. The pitcher hit the batter with a fastball, and the benches began to clear as the crowd went crazy with excitement over the brawl about to take place. Just as fists started flying, the ground began to shake violently. As everyone braced themselves for the tremors, a message began to scroll across the scoreboard. It began with "[SEND] Andraste:", and as the text scrolled across the screen it said...''Cease or you'll be banned, I have infinite power and am a real life Amazon and to show you my powers so you don't cross me...

This scared me ALMOST as much as spotting an anchovy on my pizza that I could think of nothing else but leaping off of the bleachers and into the chaos that was now ensuing, shrieking at the top of my lungs, "BAN THIS!!!!"... Shrieking again, ""BAN THIS!!!!"

I then thought to myself, I use too many damn ellipses in my inner monologue. It must be a byproduct of my perfect fluency in Morse code. "Yes...yes...," I thought to myself. "Far too many ellipses in my inner monologue...far too many ellipses...ellipses...ellipses....elliptical trainer!." Suddenly I knew how I could hide the dead hooker's body. Before I lost my brilliant idea I ran to the store and bought a coloring book, two rolls of duct tape, a jumbo size bag of candy, Jergens hand lotion, and an assortment of pre-cut tropical fruit. Having all of the materials I needed, I executed the next stage of my plan.

The weight of the dead hooker was a definitely a problem, and I realized there was no way I was hiding this land-whale in the elliptical trainer without some serious modifications. So I threw her into a meat grinder that just happened to be there and made 4 oz. hooker patties. I boxed them all up and went door to door selling them as specialty meats the following day. The first house I knocked on... crap where was I? Sorry, I have a little eight year old thai boy servicing me under my desk. It's rather distracting. As I was saying, the first house I knocked on turned out to be Bob Hope's place. He was sitting in a high-backed leather chair wearing a red velvet smoking jacket. I couldn't believe it, but he saw through my brilliant plan. He asked, "You brought me hooker burgers? You're so kind. And cute, too." He pointed to a table and raised an eyebrow in my direction. "Why don't you just put those down over there and slip out of those uncomfortable-looking black high heel platform shoes? I've got a nice comfy pair of fuzzy pink bunny slippers you can wear instead."

I removed my black high heel platform shoes and tossed them off to the side and slid my bare feet into the fuzzy pink bunny slippers, the soft furry cotton scrunching between my toes. "AND HOW!" I thought to myself, I haven't worn a pair of fuzzy pink bunny slippers since the time I

[Delias]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

The good news was that realizing I'd been anally raped had sobered me up and wiped all traces of my throbbing headache away.

As always, after a good anal raping, I get the munchies, and decided to order some chocolate from some awesome fucker on the internet. His website is www.amorcacao.com and his chocolates are fucking delicious. Almost as delicious as Stanleys Mexicock after it's done in my poo hole. And delicious they were. I actually jizzed myself when I first took a bite. Which was really awkward because I was with my grandma.

Speaking of Poo Holes, I figure I should tell you about the Cardinals game I went to in St. Louis the other night. What a fucked up night that was. The pitcher hit the batter with a fastball, and the benches began to clear as the crowd went crazy with excitement over the brawl about to take place. Just as fists started flying, the ground began to shake violently. As everyone braced themselves for the tremors, a message began to scroll across the scoreboard. It began with "[SEND] Andraste:", and as the text scrolled across the screen it said...''Cease or you'll be banned, I have infinite power and am a real life Amazon and to show you my powers so you don't cross me...

This scared me ALMOST as much as spotting an anchovy on my pizza that I could think of nothing else but leaping off of the bleachers and into the chaos that was now ensuing, shrieking at the top of my lungs, "BAN THIS!!!!"... Shrieking again, ""BAN THIS!!!!"

I then thought to myself, I use too many damn ellipses in my inner monologue. It must be a byproduct of my perfect fluency in Morse code. "Yes...yes...," I thought to myself. "Far too many ellipses in my inner monologue...far too many ellipses...ellipses...ellipses....elliptical trainer!." Suddenly I knew how I could hide the dead hooker's body. Before I lost my brilliant idea I ran to the store and bought a coloring book, two rolls of duct tape, a jumbo size bag of candy, Jergens hand lotion, and an assortment of pre-cut tropical fruit. Having all of the materials I needed, I executed the next stage of my plan.

The weight of the dead hooker was a definitely a problem, and I realized there was no way I was hiding this land-whale in the elliptical trainer without some serious modifications. So I threw her into a meat grinder that just happened to be there and made 4 oz. hooker patties. I boxed them all up and went door to door selling them as specialty meats the following day. The first house I knocked on... crap where was I? Sorry, I have a little eight year old thai boy servicing me under my desk. It's rather distracting. As I was saying, the first house I knocked on turned out to be Bob Hope's place. He was sitting in a high-backed leather chair wearing a red velvet smoking jacket. I couldn't believe it, but he saw through my brilliant plan. He asked, "You brought me hooker burgers? You're so kind. And cute, too." He pointed to a table and raised an eyebrow in my direction. "Why don't you just put those down over there and slip out of those uncomfortable-looking black high heel platform shoes? I've got a nice comfy pair of fuzzy pink bunny slippers you can wear instead."

I removed my black high heel platform shoes and tossed them off to the side and slid my bare feet into the fuzzy pink bunny slippers, the soft furry cotton scrunching between my toes. "AND HOW!" I thought to myself, I haven't worn a pair of fuzzy pink bunny slippers since the time I sexually assaulted that copy machine at the office holiday party. Just wiggling my toes back and forth in the cotton fibers reminded me of the nice, warm hum of the copy machine and made me long for the early days of my career.

[Methais]

I began the morning with a scotch on the rocks. I began pondering as to where I would hide the hooker that I had slashed to death the night prior. I also had this insane itch to try on her pantyhose cause I'm a crazy fuck named Arkans. I abruptly noticed that I must have nicked them with the blade, as there was a long run in the inner thigh. So I nicked the stockings in various other places of the stockings, put on some black high heel platform shoes and lined my eyes with thick black highlighter for that awesome goth/emo look. Then carved my mom's name into my shoulder with the razor I killed the hooker with. At which point I needed to dull the pain, relapse as imminent, it was time to chase the dragon. Indeed, it was...I started to see rainbows and pink elephants and walked outside to try and ride one.

Then I opened my eyes, still feeling the euphoric body high of the substance I had taken, but something wasn't quite right. "This isn't an elephant," I thought to myself, as I quickly jumped off the bright pink mo-ped I was straddling.

It was at that point I heard all the laughter and realized that it wasn't a moped afterall... much to my dismay it was Ilvane's fat ass on all fours wearing nothing but a cheezed up backwards pink thong singing "Back In Black" by AC/DC.

I went to an AC/DC concert once. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way there and I devoured 6 burrito supremes. During the fifth song of the show, which was "Back In Black", my stomach started rumbling and it felt like a lead weight dropped inside of me from ten stories. A friend of mine dared me to jump up on stage in my underwear. So I did. I ran around for probably 10 seconds or so before a hulking security guard grabbed me in a bear hug. I struggled to get free, but as I did he just squeezed my body tighter and tighter. And then it happened. As I made my final stand in an attempt to escape the clutches of the security guy, his arms tightened around me like Klaive's anus around a fat cock, except different because Klaive's anus is probably all loose from being assrammed all the time. But anyway as the security guy gave me that final squeeze, the lead weight inside me exploded like a hydrogen methane bomb, sending the security guy crashing through the wall. As my ass geyser concluded, a tremendous fart began to propel me off the ground. A few seconds later I was above the arena the concert was taking place in. Then I was in the clouds. Then as suddenly as it began, the fart ended, and I began to plummet to the earth. I must have blacked out as I was falling, because the next thing I remembered was. . . Waking up next to Stanley and a passed out drunk girl... I guess she had come to him looking for help cleaning up her life. The deathgrip she had on the bottle was insane, I needed something to numb this throbbing in my skull. That's when I noticed the condom hanging out of my ass....STANLEY!!!!!

The good news was that realizing I'd been anally raped had sobered me up and wiped all traces of my throbbing headache away.

As always, after a good anal raping, I get the munchies, and decided to order some chocolate from some awesome fucker on the internet. His website is www.amorcacao.com and his chocolates are fucking delicious. Almost as delicious as Stanleys Mexicock after it's done in my poo hole. And delicious they were. I actually jizzed myself when I first took a bite. Which was really awkward because I was with my grandma.

Speaking of Poo Holes, I figure I should tell you about the Cardinals game I went to in St. Louis the other night. What a fucked up night that was. The pitcher hit the batter with a fastball, and the benches began to clear as the crowd went crazy with excitement over the brawl about to take place. Just as fists started flying, the ground began to shake violently. As everyone braced themselves for the tremors, a message began to scroll across the scoreboard. It began with "[SEND] Andraste:", and as the text scrolled across the screen it said...''Cease or you'll be banned, I have infinite power and am a real life Amazon and to show you my powers so you don't cross me...

This scared me ALMOST as much as spotting an anchovy on my pizza that I could think of nothing else but leaping off of the bleachers and into the chaos that was now ensuing, shrieking at the top of my lungs, "BAN THIS!!!!"... Shrieking again, ""BAN THIS!!!!"

I then thought to myself, I use too many damn ellipses in my inner monologue. It must be a byproduct of my perfect fluency in Morse code. "Yes...yes...," I thought to myself. "Far too many ellipses in my inner monologue...far too many ellipses...ellipses...ellipses....elliptical trainer!." Suddenly I knew how I could hide the dead hooker's body. Before I lost my brilliant idea I ran to the store and bought a coloring book, two rolls of duct tape, a jumbo size bag of candy, Jergens hand lotion, and an assortment of pre-cut tropical fruit. Having all of the materials I needed, I executed the next stage of my plan.

The weight of the dead hooker was a definitely a problem, and I realized there was no way I was hiding this land-whale in the elliptical trainer without some serious modifications. So I threw her into a meat grinder that just happened to be there and made 4 oz. hooker patties. I boxed them all up and went door to door selling them as specialty meats the following day. The first house I knocked on... crap where was I? Sorry, I have a little eight year old thai boy servicing me under my desk. It's rather distracting. As I was saying, the first house I knocked on turned out to be Bob Hope's place. He was sitting in a high-backed leather chair wearing a red velvet smoking jacket. I couldn't believe it, but he saw through my brilliant plan. He asked, "You brought me hooker burgers? You're so kind. And cute, too." He pointed to a table and raised an eyebrow in my direction. "Why don't you just put those down over there and slip out of those uncomfortable-looking black high heel platform shoes? I've got a nice comfy pair of fuzzy pink bunny slippers you can wear instead."

I removed my black high heel platform shoes and tossed them off to the side and slid my bare feet into the fuzzy pink bunny slippers, the soft furry cotton scrunching between my toes. "AND HOW!" I thought to myself, I haven't worn a pair of fuzzy pink bunny slippers since the time I sexually assaulted that copy machine at the office holiday party. Just wiggling my toes back and forth in the cotton fibers reminded me of the nice, warm hum of the copy machine and made me long for the early days of my career when I was a fluffer for gay porn. Despite not being gay myself, I enjoyed my work, though nobody believed me when I said I wasn't gay. I mean wtf, I'm just out there trying to earn a living. That's like saying people who work with raw sewage are into scat. But enough about that, I've since moved up in the world, and now I'm in charge of cleaning up vomit for people who have accidentally saw Bruce Vilanch naked. You'd be surprised how often this happens.

It's kind of funny, how I ended up getting into that line of work. I was trying to find the nearest laundromat, and I accidentally walked into what appeared to be some pre-arranged middle eastern type wedding, and then...