The shorter life expectancy of men is because....

[SpunGirl]

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a chauvinist.
If you stay at home and do the housework, you're a pansy.

If you work too hard, there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good for nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your
lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that's favoritism.
If she gets one ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated
woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert.
If you don't, you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist.
If you don't, you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself.
If you aren't, you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often, you're oversexed.
If you don't, there must be someone else.

Men die first because they want to.

Made me laugh.

-K

[Edited on 12-9-2003 by SpunGirl]

[Hulkein]

Heh, that's pretty good

[Anebriated]

heh, this quote i heard awhile back just came to mind while reading that(which is very clever):

When a man talks dirty to a woman its harrassment
When a woman talks dirty to a man its 3.95 a minute

[Moist Happenings]

NEFF CONCURS AND THINKS WOMEN ARE ALL HORRIBLE BLACK VOIDS INTO WHICH IS SOUL IS SUCKED.

[Czeska]

It's a fine line a man must walk.. the line between nice guy and wimp.. the line between strong man and controlling bastard.

I don' wanna be a boy, but I"m sure keeping the well balanced one I have.

[Meos]

I blame women

if any of you know me well enough to have my SN you would see this in my profile

Men and women will never undstand eachother... Women are to mysterious for men to ever figure out... and Women
wont admit the truth, that men are turely that simple.


as you can see it is all womens fault

[Latrinsorm]

If they'd just stop talking in code, we'd be fine.

Man: What's wrong?
Woman: Nothing.

Man thinks, ok, nothing's wrong, goes about his business.

Woman: WHY DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT ME??

Man thinks, oh shit I forgot the code again.

Man: Um.. uh.. you look pretty tonight.
Woman: What do you mean tonight?

Man starts getting the couch ready to sleep on.

[Kurili]

Heh That was funny....and so true unfortunately. I am a woman, but I see so much truth in that 'joke'.

Ahh, all humor IS at the expense of someone, it's said.


Acolyte Kurili, still chuckling

[Edaarin]

Women...you can't live with them...the end.

Someone post the proof that women are evil. Something like

Women = time and money
Time = money
Women = money squared
Money = the root of all evil
Therefore
women = evil

[GSLeloo]

The code is rather true... I know I don't mean it but it becomes like... I want guys to not be so simple! I don't want to have to spell everything out for you, I want you to guess and be romantic and considerate without me telling you to.

[Edaarin]

I want to see Leloo go on a date with Ben.

[GSLeloo]

lol Why?

[Zeyrin]

That is the most truthful thing I've seen in a long time. I find it funny for those guys who try to walk that fine line between shovenist and sensitive.

I'm simple. Beer + sports + sex = Happy Guy!!

If a woman doesn't mind me drinking a few beers, watching sports and gives me loving, I'm in heaven. Those three elements will get her everything from me.

Tell me what you want, how you want it and when you want it....you'll get it. If you want me to play 1000 questions, you won't. Stop being so complicated!!

[Artha]

Someone post the proof that women are evil.

Women take time and money to get. Therefore, women = time + money.

Time is money. Therefore, women = money + money

Money + money = money squared

Money is the root of all evil. Therefore, women = evil

[Chadj]

too true

[AnticorRifling]

If they didn't smell so nice, feel so soft, and look so good. I'd write women off and go be a hermit.

[Latrinsorm]

Originally posted by Lady Daina
Personally, all I want is a man who *thinks*


psh, good luck.

(not a shot at Big K, just a joke)

[Drew2]

Originally posted by Lord Deprav a long ass time ago
Proof that girls(women) are evil:

First, we state that girls (G) require time (T) and money (M).

Thus, G = T x M

We also know that "time is money."

T = M

Therefore, G = M x M, or M^2

And because "money is the root of all evil (E)";

M = E^(1/2)

We get G = (E^(1/2))^2

Which simplifies to: G = E.

Thus, girls are, in fact, evil.


Lord Deprav
Had to throw my 2 cents in. (Plus I found this a while ago and thought it was hilarious)

[longshot]

Originally posted by Lady Daina
It's sad and funny how differently men and women are wired. For those who are saying 'it's women's fault', try to see it from a woman's point of view before you go pointing the finger of blame. It's NOONE'S FAULT, it just is. We don't purposely think and perceive everything differently, just as I'm sure men are not purposely different in order to cause problems.

Personally, all I want is a man who *thinks* about someone other than himself, maybe even puts that someone first once in a while. I don't want to ALWAYS have to say "I want this, that, or the other." I don't want to have to say "You shouldn't do this because it makes me feel badly." Just once in a while I'd like a man to do or not do something because it's the right thing to do to him too, not because I had to tell him so. I know that probably makes no sense, it's hard to describe. Let me think of a generic example.

Don't hang out with that chick all the time who hits on you and has no respect for our relationship. Why? Because YOU feel it is the right thing to do. Not because I had to whine and nag at you. Things along these lines.

Anyway, funny stuff, probably because it is so true.

I would do all of those things until I slept with the girl.

Then, it's business as usual.

[Halfsilver]

That's the...

'not only do you have to do what I tell you to do, but you have to Like doing it'

mentality that only women have. It's logic totally blows my mind. heh.

You're not alone in your opinions, Daina. Believe me.

- D (hides)

Edited to add this example: My girlfriend asks me to pick something up on the way home from work. I say 'ok, I'm really tired and I don't feel like doing it, but I'll do it for you, hunny' and I get the response 'You know we NEED that, you should have thought of it yourself, if you're going to complain don't even bother' *click* hehe.

women:rolleyes:



[Edited on 12-10-2003 by Halfsilver]

[Jenisi]

Pwned.

[Weedmage Princess]

Men are God's evil joke on women...

They suck, but I don't like the alternatives..so...yay for men.

:::runs fast:::

[longshot]

Originally posted by Halfsilver

Edited to add this example: My girlfriend asks me to pick something up on the way home from work. I say 'ok, I'm really tired and I don't feel like doing it, but I'll do it for you, hunny' and I get the response 'You know we NEED that, you should have thought of it yourself, if you're going to complain don't even bother' *click* hehe.

women:rolleyes:



[Edited on 12-10-2003 by Halfsilver]

You might not NEED a 10 pound bag of peanut M&M's and a 2 litre of diet pepsi...

but she does.

[HarmNone]

Maybe it is because we ladies have a tendency to play too roughly with our toys? :D

HarmNone is duckin' and hidin'

*Edited to deal with one of the many permutations of "too"*

[Edited on 12-11-2003 by HarmNone]