Random Drug Tests

[Methais]

I have a possible job coming up that will at least have pre-employment drug testing. Passing that is the easy part. However, I don't know if this place also does random drug tests or not. If they do, I'm just going to assume I'll have minimal time to prepare for anything.

I was doing some browsing around and came across some sites that have these capsules you take and in an hour or so you'll come up clean for about 5 or 6 hours.

http://www.ipassedmydrugtest.com/urine_drug_test_solutions.asp
http://www.passyourtest.com/sd-crisis-capsules-information.htm

I'm mainly just wondering if anyone's used any of these things or something similar for random tests, and if they really work or not.

That is all. Thanks.

http://www.time-is-fun.com/huge-joint-101.jpg

[Tea & Strumpets]

I know the company you are going to work at and they do drug testing by taking a hair sample. Shave your head and eyebrows.

[Methais]

Yeah.

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

Don't do drugs?

[Skeeter]

Don't do drugs?

That would be my advice. Guess that's a little too advanced for Methais.

[Tea & Strumpets]

Get a friend that is clean to piss in a ziploc bag for you. Then tape that ziploc bag to your underarm to keep the urine at body temperature. Keep it with you during work hours when you could be randomly tested.

I don't think they hold your schlong for you when you get tested in a work environment, like they do for people on probation.

Those "flush out your system" remedies are a crap shoot. They may or may not work and definitely aren't dependable. My method is flawless.

[Some Rogue]

LOL, Dar's piss in a bag for the low low price of $9.99.

[Methais]

Don't do drugs?

Besides that.


That would be my advice. Guess that's a little too advanced for Methais.

On the contrary, understanding the point of this thread seems too advanced for you.

For the record though, I haven't smoked in a while.

[Sean]

If only T&S had been around to dispense advice to Onterrio Smith and Tom Sizemore before they blew all that money on wizzinators.

[Blazing247]

Even if those pills worked, you probably wouldn't be given an hour of notice. I know when my department drug tests, it's more along the lines of...arrive at work, boss says "piss time", you get an escort to the location and they stand right behind you in the bathroom. Also since it's "random", you can very well be picked in close proximity to your previous piss test. All depends how seriously your employer takes it.

[Things2Come]

Aspirin may help to produce a false negative when taken in high doses 24 hours before the test.

[Asha]

Aspirin may help to produce a false negative when taken in high doses 24 hours before the test.

or death lol

[RichardCranium]

If you have the luxury of advanced notice XXtra Clean has worked three separate times for me. I bought it at the Ra Shop at the gates of LSU on Chimes St.

[Methais]

Even if those pills worked, you probably wouldn't be given an hour of notice. I know when my department drug tests, it's more along the lines of...arrive at work, boss says "piss time", you get an escort to the location and they stand right behind you in the bathroom. Also since it's "random", you can very well be picked in close proximity to your previous piss test. All depends how seriously your employer takes it.

Yeah I'm aware of that. But if you say "I don't have to piss yet", what are they gonna do, fire you cause your bladder is empty? Granted eating a couple tablets with someone up your ass could be a problem though.

[Methais]

If you have the luxury of advanced notice XXtra Clean has worked three separate times for me. I bought it at the Ra Shop at the gates of LSU on Chimes St.

Huh...you live in Baton Rouge? I went to the Ra Shop a couple months ago and bought some shit for a test that I probably would have passed anyway, but was playing it safe. I forgot what it was called but it was some fruit punch stuff and was like $20.

Ra Shop is a fun place :lol:

[RichardCranium]

Huh...you live in Baton Rouge?

Denham Springs actually, but close enough.

[TheEschaton]

My best friend swears by Gold something....err, I'll figure it out.

[Methais]

Golden Seal?

Was browsing around just now and on this one site, they had this big WARNING on the right side. For all I know it's just a marketing ploy to get you to buy their stuff instead of something else. But anyway it says...


Warning Regarding Urine Tests and Masking Agents!!
People interested in passing a drug test should know that new government drug testing guidelines now include that all laboratories perform a specimen integrity check before testing for drugs. What this means is that they are no longer only looking for marijuana and other illicit drugs but also for additives, dilution, and most of the available adulterants/masking products, i.e. Mary Jane Super Clean 13 (liquid soap), Urinaid (glutaraldehyde), THC Free (acid), Klear (nitrite), Urine Luck (pyridinium chlorochromate), TestKlear, Golden Seal, Terminator Gold, Stealth, Clean-X, and Instant Clean. These products are all detectable, and will result in a failed drug screen. They will also be reported as a failure! The point is clear. Don't be fooled by the plethora of ineffective detox adulterants, masking chemicals and flushes. These products simply hoax you out of your money and do not produce the results to which they lay claim. As for their fancy guarantees? Well, to receive your money back you must submit your test results. These results in most cases are not yours nor will you ever see them, meaning no refund will be awarded to you! The truth is, if you're searching for ways to pass a drug test then a clean urine substitution kit is just what you've been looking for.

[TheEschaton]

It's actually Terminator Gold, which was listed in that disclaimer.

[Aenstaas]

I know the company you are going to work at and they do drug testing by taking a hair sample. Shave your head and eyebrows.

Then they just take the hair from somewhere else fun like your pubic area.

[Skeeter]

I can't get over the fact that there's so many people who won't give up weed even if it may cost them a job.

:::back on topic::::

I heard eating a ton of poppy seed rolls will cleanse your system.

[Warriorbird]

More odd Baton Rouge places? On my way.

-new resident

[Atlanteax]

I heard eating a ton of poppy seed rolls will cleanse your system.

Sound advice for Methais!!

[Stanley Burrell]

Where do you (guys) work at that actually require you to urinate into a container in order to boost productivity?

[Artha]

A shot of vinegar in the morning and lots of water until the test will actually cleanse your system.

[Methais]

I can't get over the fact that there's so many people who won't give up weed even if it may cost them a job.

:::back on topic::::

I heard eating a ton of poppy seed rolls will cleanse your system.

That's not really the case. If it comes down to that, which it probably will, I'll take the job. I actually haven't smoked for about 3 months. I'm just researching on whether I can have my cake and eat it too. Thanks for judging though.


Sound advice for Methais!!

You produce less useful posts on this forum than even I do. Just in case you didn't know.


A shot of vinegar in the morning and lots of water until the test will actually cleanse your system.

I'm pretty sure that's just a myth, unless by cleaning your system you mean heavy diarrhea. But since THC isn't water soluble, that wouldn't really do the trick anyway.

[Tsa`ah]

I'm not a fan of drug testing.

Most companies are selective about it based upon the position they hire you for.

While it's pretty dangerous for a grunt to be under the influence, I personally think it's a great deal more hazardous to the company for people in middle or upper echelons of a business to be under the influence while on the job.

That aside ... if they're testing by hair, shaving your head will do nothing since they test the root/follicle. Maybe if you waxed your entire body once or twice, shaving won't do anything other than throw up a flag.

Forget about urinalysis, most companies don't deal with that anymore, they do oral swabs on the spot. No lab, no nurse, no jar required.

[Atlanteax]

Sound advice for Methias!You produce less useful posts on this forum than even I do. Just in case you didn't know.
In all seriousness, that's impossible... someone new to the Forums, posting for the very first time ever, would had produced more useful posts than you.

/end seriousness
My revelant post count is over 9000, thank you very much!

[Methais]

Sound advice for Methias!

You fail for quoting DBZ, even moreso with a 2,466 post count. You also fail for spelling "Methais" wrong when it's written correctly right in front of your face.

http://strix.org.uk/downloads/files/width400/lolz-you-fail.jpg


I'm not a fan of drug testing.

Most companies are selective about it based upon the position they hire you for.

While it's pretty dangerous for a grunt to be under the influence, I personally think it's a great deal more hazardous to the company for people in middle or upper echelons of a business to be under the influence while on the job.

That aside ... if they're testing by hair, shaving your head will do nothing since they test the root/follicle. Maybe if you waxed your entire body once or twice, shaving won't do anything other than throw up a flag.

Forget about urinalysis, most companies don't deal with that anymore, they do oral swabs on the spot. No lab, no nurse, no jar required.

As far as I know, based on what I'm told by others who have to take randoms for their jobs, most if not all place around here still do piss tests. It might be because Louisiana hasn't caught up with the rest of the world yet, or it could be because George Bush hates black people, I don't know. Either way I'm pretty sure they still do piss tests around here. The last one I took a couple months ago (and passed) was a piss test. I guess I'll find out within the next couple weeks either way.

[Atlanteax]

I'd reckon that they still require you to do piss tests is because you look like you're hopped-up on weed, day in, and day out.

I'm surprised that they haven't fired you yet for using false samples!

[Methais]

I'd reckon that they still require you to do piss tests is because you look like you're hopped-up on weed, day in, and day out.

I'm surprised that they haven't fired you yet for using false samples!

You attempts at insult have failed to proportions of an epic level, surpassing that of even Haashek and Warclaidhm.

Congraduration, a winner is you!

[Atlanteax]

You attempts at insult have failed to proportions of an epic level, surpassing that of even Haashek and Warclaidhm.

Congraduration, a winner is you!

You mispelled "congratulations" (horribly, I may add) ... learn to spellcheck!

[Celephais]

You mispelled "congratulations" (horribly, I may add) ... learn to spellcheck!
Pretty sure he was asianizing the sperring.

[Methais]

LOL well no shit, it was intentional.

But since you really were dumb enough to actually take that seriously, then you fail once again for not also pointing out the bad grammar in the phrase "a winner is you!"

There are some people that just don't get it when it comes to most things and need things spelled out for them (DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID THAR!?). You're one of those people.

http://www.areavoices.com/wrestling/images/thumbnail/a-winner-is-you1.gif

[Methais]

Pretty sure he was asianizing the sperring.

You mispelled "spelling" (horribly, I may add) ... learn to spellcheck!

[Bobmuhthol]

Having someone else piss in a bag and using that is the best advice that's been given so far, but it does sort of require advanced notice unless you can manage having piss on you at all times. 100% success rate as long as you aren't retarded.

[Gan]

LOL at walking around with a ziploc bag of someone elses' piss under your arm.

LOLx2 if it leaks or ruptures.

[Celephais]

The truely elite drug users have a ziplock bag medically inserted into their stomachs, with a tube running down inside their shlongs. This gives them two pee holes, and it's just a matter of applying the proper pressure in your stomach via flexing to pee from the "clean" hole.

Otherwise you're just risking your job... can you afford not to get this surgery? Only two people in the world have it, and one of them is Bruce Willis.

[Methais]

So who's the other?

[Celephais]

Wouldn't you like to know.

[Methais]

I'm just curious who else is cool enough to be like Bruce Willis.

[Alfster]

I'd reckon that they still require you to do piss tests is because you look like you're hopped-up on weed, day in, and day out.

I'm surprised that they haven't fired you yet for using false samples!

You got picked on a lot growing up, didn't you?

[Methais]

You got picked on a lot growing up, didn't you?

All sources lead to yes.
http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a162/DoyleHargraves/Grandevr.jpg

[Celephais]

Romulox if you must know, is the only other one to have the surgery. (Clearly you're not as caught up on your ATHFs as you need to be)

[Keller]

You got picked on a lot growing up, didn't you?

We all know pot is the most menacing outside force facing our society today.

[Sean of the Thread]

That sorta looks like skeeter.

[Methais]

Romulox if you must know, is the only other one to have the surgery. (Clearly you're not as caught up on your ATHFs as you need to be)

I know, and I'm ashamed of myself for this :(

[Gan]

This is totally on topic for this thread.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1759736

[Methais]

:rofl: nice.

[Atlanteax]

You got picked on a lot growing up, didn't you?

Nah, it was that I should had known better than to respond to Methais once you consider how oblivious and ignorant someone is behind a dense screen of smokey haze... where any form of cognizant thought is expressed in a frenzy of babbling words or a horde of random pictures.

Lesson learned!

[Bobmuhthol]

Cognizant thought.

[Skeeter]

That sorta looks like skeeter.

oh it does not.

[Methais]

Nah, it was that I should had known better than to respond to Methais once you consider how oblivious and ignorant someone is behind a dense screen of smokey haze... where any form of cognizant thought is expressed in a frenzy of babbling words or a horde of random pictures.

Lesson learned!

Yeah you sure got me pinned down.

And how for a horde of totally random pictures, conjured up behind a dense screen of smokey haze. Because if anyone knows about pot, it's definitely Atlanteax:


http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Football/Pix/gallery/2004/05/26/timzaccheo.jpghttp://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a162/DoyleHargraves/Grandevr.jpghttp://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a162/DoyleHargraves/mt1129991987.jpg

[Alfster]

Nah, it was that I should had known better than to respond to Methais once you consider how oblivious and ignorant someone is behind a dense screen of smokey haze... where any form of cognizant thought is expressed in a frenzy of babbling words or a horde of random pictures.

Lesson learned!

I should had known too!