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Martaigne
09-07-2007, 12:40 PM
Posted by zero on Shoutwire. Discuss!


Alright ladies… time for zero to address you specifically. “But zero, all you ever do is write bad stuff about us. Why should we listen to you?” Because shut up, that’s why. Also, as much as it pains me to say, this time I am here to help.

This is in regards to the type of men you choose to date. This doesn’t go out to all women, just those with relationship problems that don’t understand why men are such dicks. I am going to tell you why you feel that way. Hopefully, you will listen, make the proper changes, and then find happiness… (Dammit, I feel like a girl just typing that…)

First of all, most of you choose the richest man who will give you the best and easiest life. Selfishness like that gets you nowhere but chewing Prozac like it's Captain Crunch by the time you’re 30. When selecting a man to hang out with for the rest of your life, money should not be a consideration. Ambition… maybe, but not money.

“But no one wants to be broke for the rest of their lives…” Well then, get a fucking job. It shouldn’t be up to a dude to take care of you: it should be a fifty-fifty thing. Remember this; young hot gold diggers turn into old battered cougars whose husbands fuck everything that walks except them. This includes deciding to date a man because he has a nice car. Unless that car is a fucking DeLorean that will take you back to 1985 so you can stop your dad from getting his ass kicked by Biff and screwed into mediocrity for the rest of his natural born life, it is just not worth it.

To paraphrase Tyler (Chuck), a man is not what he has in his bank account.

Another thing you have to stop doing is judging guys by their appearances. You superficially choose men who are buffed up because on the surface you believe they can protect you. Don’t forget that the toughest man this world has ever seen was Bruce Lee. You just never know when that 250 lb gorilla you liked so much because of his size will get his candy ass handed to him in a parking lot by a skinny little computer geek with a penchant for martial arts and a bad temper because his hard drive just crashed and he lost twenty gigs of porn.

One thing you do not look for enough is personality. I’m not talking about myself. Hell… I’m a shallow rotten fuck who doesn’t give two shits what you want unless it involves either my cock or you cooking bacon. I am speaking for my fellow man. The guys who are really good dudes but just can’t find a girl to save their lives. These guys deserve more attention from women. But no... don't listen to what I have to say. Just keep on giving guys like me the pussy and we will keep not giving two fucks about you.

Who says you have to be in a relationship anyways? All being single says is that you just haven’t found the right person yet. It doesn’t mean you are some kind of ugly whore who no man would date. It might mean that, if you are indeed some ugly whore who no man would date… but most of you aren’t. Taking some time out to get to know yourself is not a bad thing.

One last thing: marrying a guy because he is the same race, religion, nationality, or class level as you are is just fucking stupid. If you are one of the bitches who pulled or plan on pulling this shit you deserve to be miserable for the rest of your life. Or at least until you find out you married an ax murderer just a few minutes too late…

CrystalTears
09-07-2007, 12:58 PM
You just never know when that 250 lb gorilla you liked so much because of his size will get his candy ass handed to him in a parking lot by a skinny little computer geek with a penchant for martial arts and a bad temper because his hard drive just crashed and he lost twenty gigs of porn.
This was the best part. :lol:

Stanley Burrell
09-07-2007, 01:03 PM
This seems wise, but unlikely.

DeV
09-07-2007, 01:17 PM
Sounds like something a computer nerd would write.

CrystalTears
09-07-2007, 01:20 PM
Nerds need love too.

Stanley Burrell
09-07-2007, 01:20 PM
Sounds like something a computer nerd would write.

A 250 pound computer gorilla nerd whose only weakness is Bruce Lee's reincarnation.

I miss Bruce Lee :(

ElanthianSiren
09-07-2007, 02:03 PM
Nerds need love too.

buffy muscle look -10,000 points and vomit in my mouth.
Rolls -10,000 points and vomit in my mouth.
Skinny natural +10,000 points.
Pocket protector +30 pts.
Martial arts +50 pts.
long discussions on biochemistry/biotechnology/bionformatics -- priceless.

Definitely written by a nerd. Long live the nerds! :heart:

Stanley Burrell
09-07-2007, 03:36 PM
buffy muscle look -10,000 points and vomit in my mouth.
Rolls -10,000 points and vomit in my mouth.
Skinny natural +10,000 points.
Pocket protector +30 pts.
Martial arts +50 pts.
long discussions on biochemistry/biotechnology/bionformatics -- priceless.

Definitely written by a nerd. Long live the nerds! :heart:

Now that is just sexy :yes:

Martaigne
09-07-2007, 04:15 PM
buffy muscle look -10,000 points and vomit in my mouth.
Rolls -10,000 points and vomit in my mouth.
Skinny natural +10,000 points.
Pocket protector +30 pts.
Martial arts +50 pts.
long discussions on biochemistry/biotechnology/bionformatics -- priceless.

Definitely written by a nerd. Long live the nerds! :heart:

I love you.

Gan
09-07-2007, 04:29 PM
The first two posts: 10,000 points.

The rest of the posts, this one included. -1,000,000,000 points. + vomit in my mouth.

http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i3/3strangedays/gangsta.jpg

Methais
09-07-2007, 04:36 PM
I’m not talking about myself. Hell… I’m a shallow rotten fuck who doesn’t give two shits what you want unless it involves either my cock or you cooking bacon.

:lol:

Doughboy
09-07-2007, 04:56 PM
Damn you for posting that quote before I could. I've got it copied right now waiting to be pasted..then WHAM Methais....

But on another note...man is bacon ever good. Damn near everything is better with bacon.

ElanthianSiren
09-07-2007, 04:56 PM
The first two posts: 10,000 points.

The rest of the posts, this one included. -1,000,000,000 points. + vomit in my mouth.

http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i3/3strangedays/gangsta.jpg

Bah! no need to hate cuz the nerds wouldn't take you, Gan.

:tongue:

Anebriated
09-07-2007, 05:30 PM
Gan's just jealous...

http://www.officefinder.com/images/office_space_milton.jpg

TheEschaton
09-07-2007, 05:42 PM
I like to go off on how women are just as shallow as men every single day. ;) Fun times.

AestheticDeath
09-07-2007, 06:36 PM
Do as I say, not as I do.

iJin
09-10-2007, 09:49 AM
I want me a nerd to upgrade my damn laptop. Ohh yahh. That's what I'm talking about.

Gan
09-10-2007, 10:01 AM
Bah! no need to hate cuz the nerds wouldn't take you, Gan.

:tongue:


Gan's just jealous...

http://www.officefinder.com/images/office_space_milton.jpg

http://blogs.chron.com/blog9/ogre01.jpg

NERDS!!!!1111one
actually, I had several friends who were nerds. How else was I to get my chemestry homework done the morning it was due for class... :whistle: