FinisWolf
08-15-2007, 10:55 AM
2025
Wacky Times science editor and part-time inventor, Stanford Harvard Loop, M.D., PhD, A.D.D., has created technology that he says is the answer to today's high gas prices-a car that runs entirely on French bottled water.
The development has not impressed a skeptical oil industry.
“Even if this car engine does run on water, where do you fill it up?” asks one Hexxon Oil spokesman. “It'll take years for them to create the gas station infrastructure. It takes years to build a modern service station, what with the convenience stores and ATM machines and car washes and stuff.”
Our government's Environmental Protection Agency is concerned as well. “We haven't had a chance to establish mileage standards,” says EPA chief, Wayan DerPockets. “And what about evaporation at the pump?” he asks. “We won't know the effect of all that extra water in the air for decades. We need five decades of analysis by our government engineers before we let one of these things on the road.”
Anticipating that Stanford Moon's aqua-combustion engine could be successful, President Bush already has a team of military analysts studying the invention's effect on the geo-political situation.
“If that thing runs on Perrier, I'm not saying we'll invade France or anything. But if those Frenchies won't provide the access our country requires, I won't take any option off the table. We don't want no H2OPEC cartel happening.”
While the inventor wouldn't divulge the precise specifications of his aqua-combustion engine, he did admit there are still some kinks to be worked out. “It's a little expensive to run. Bottled Perrier is running about $7 a gallon.”
http://wackytimes.com/
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For now, I'll take gasoline, and wait for it to drop to tap water.
Finis
Wacky Times science editor and part-time inventor, Stanford Harvard Loop, M.D., PhD, A.D.D., has created technology that he says is the answer to today's high gas prices-a car that runs entirely on French bottled water.
The development has not impressed a skeptical oil industry.
“Even if this car engine does run on water, where do you fill it up?” asks one Hexxon Oil spokesman. “It'll take years for them to create the gas station infrastructure. It takes years to build a modern service station, what with the convenience stores and ATM machines and car washes and stuff.”
Our government's Environmental Protection Agency is concerned as well. “We haven't had a chance to establish mileage standards,” says EPA chief, Wayan DerPockets. “And what about evaporation at the pump?” he asks. “We won't know the effect of all that extra water in the air for decades. We need five decades of analysis by our government engineers before we let one of these things on the road.”
Anticipating that Stanford Moon's aqua-combustion engine could be successful, President Bush already has a team of military analysts studying the invention's effect on the geo-political situation.
“If that thing runs on Perrier, I'm not saying we'll invade France or anything. But if those Frenchies won't provide the access our country requires, I won't take any option off the table. We don't want no H2OPEC cartel happening.”
While the inventor wouldn't divulge the precise specifications of his aqua-combustion engine, he did admit there are still some kinks to be worked out. “It's a little expensive to run. Bottled Perrier is running about $7 a gallon.”
http://wackytimes.com/
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
For now, I'll take gasoline, and wait for it to drop to tap water.
Finis