Aphyd
05-01-2007, 06:56 PM
Xorthos (5:36:53 PM): A human traveller picks up a small rock and throws it at a frost giant in a valiant effort to subdue him.
Xorthos (5:36:57 PM): i will call this traveller david
TextThief Ponzzz (5:43:04 PM): hahahaha
TextThief Ponzzz (5:43:14 PM): but he didn't wtfbbwpwn him
Xorthos (5:36:05 PM): hehe
Xorthos (5:50:06 PM): man
Xorthos (5:50:12 PM): the shit i just took was so massive i feel like i should give it a name
Xorthos (5:50:17 PM): like "the reckoning"
Xorthos (5:50:32 PM): "hey do you remember when the reckoning occurred?" "Yes, it was May 1st, 2007 at 5:50 PM"
Xorthos (5:50:42 PM): "I still have afterburn from that"
Xorthos (5:50:52 PM): you know, afterburn...when it feels like you still have to shit for 10 minutes after a shit
TextThief Ponzzz (5:48:52 PM): I like to call my massive shits, "The Glock"
Xorthos (5:51:01 PM): or "Taking a slam"
TextThief Ponzzz (5:49:11 PM): yea with the asshole twitch
Xorthos (5:51:23 PM): so you still one-cheek it for 10 minutes afterwards
Xorthos (5:51:27 PM): if you're in a hrury
Xorthos (5:51:32 PM): otherwise you just sit on the toilet for 10 minutes
Xorthos (5:51:34 PM): trying to shit
TextThief Ponzzz (5:49:42 PM): pick up a good magazine
TextThief Ponzzz (5:49:45 PM): read a few articles
TextThief Ponzzz (5:49:55 PM): clip your toe nails
Xorthos (5:52:07 PM): yes
TextThief Ponzzz (5:50:08 PM): read the ingredients for the 65906 thime on the toothpaste
Xorthos (5:52:18 PM): i always like it when it goes smoothly
Xorthos (5:52:26 PM): i hate when i get that pasty icecream shit that just cakes to my butthole
Xorthos (5:52:30 PM): and gets all in my butthair
TextThief Ponzzz (5:50:43 PM): yea, the ones that require like one wipe are the best
Xorthos (5:52:47 PM): and you sit there for 45 minutes wiping your ass, and use half a roll of toilet paper
TextThief Ponzzz (5:50:49 PM): yea, pasty shit sucks
Xorthos (5:52:53 PM): and you're like shit where does this keep coming from
TextThief Ponzzz (5:51:00 PM): I have like 4 dredlocks in my ass sometimes after a nasty shit
TextThief Ponzzz (5:51:08 PM): I KNOW
Xorthos (5:53:11 PM): so you run the toilet paper under the sink to get it wet then pretty much wash your ass
Xorthos (5:53:18 PM): but it just smears it onto your buttcheeks
TextThief Ponzzz (5:51:30 PM): like sometimes you just rub like the left side of your ass cheek just to see if the shit is all the way over there, and it is!
Xorthos (5:53:44 PM): yes,
Xorthos (5:54:05 PM): and you just have no idea how the hell it gets there...because you know you didn't pinch it off with your entire asscheek
TextThief Ponzzz (5:52:08 PM): fuck, one time, I had a hydra looking shit with like 8 heads staring back at me when I was about to flush
Xorthos (5:54:16 PM): i think it just dangles out and swings back up and thwops you on the ass
Xorthos (5:54:20 PM): like giving you a spank goodbye
TextThief Ponzzz (5:52:20 PM): I had to call the girlfriend over to look
Xorthos (5:54:59 PM): Or those where it's an emergency, and you run in expecting a 30 minute shit, and it's just one giant *BOOM*...and you sit there wondering "damn was that all?"
Xorthos (5:55:18 PM): then you look in the toilet and you've built a new pyramid that rivals egyptian architecture
TextThief Ponzzz (5:53:36 PM): the best ones are at work
TextThief Ponzzz (5:53:47 PM): a nice 40 minutes of steamy shit
TextThief Ponzzz (5:54:14 PM): others walk into the bathroom and are like, "OH MY FUCKING GOD SOMEONE CALL MAINTENCE!"
Xorthos (5:36:57 PM): i will call this traveller david
TextThief Ponzzz (5:43:04 PM): hahahaha
TextThief Ponzzz (5:43:14 PM): but he didn't wtfbbwpwn him
Xorthos (5:36:05 PM): hehe
Xorthos (5:50:06 PM): man
Xorthos (5:50:12 PM): the shit i just took was so massive i feel like i should give it a name
Xorthos (5:50:17 PM): like "the reckoning"
Xorthos (5:50:32 PM): "hey do you remember when the reckoning occurred?" "Yes, it was May 1st, 2007 at 5:50 PM"
Xorthos (5:50:42 PM): "I still have afterburn from that"
Xorthos (5:50:52 PM): you know, afterburn...when it feels like you still have to shit for 10 minutes after a shit
TextThief Ponzzz (5:48:52 PM): I like to call my massive shits, "The Glock"
Xorthos (5:51:01 PM): or "Taking a slam"
TextThief Ponzzz (5:49:11 PM): yea with the asshole twitch
Xorthos (5:51:23 PM): so you still one-cheek it for 10 minutes afterwards
Xorthos (5:51:27 PM): if you're in a hrury
Xorthos (5:51:32 PM): otherwise you just sit on the toilet for 10 minutes
Xorthos (5:51:34 PM): trying to shit
TextThief Ponzzz (5:49:42 PM): pick up a good magazine
TextThief Ponzzz (5:49:45 PM): read a few articles
TextThief Ponzzz (5:49:55 PM): clip your toe nails
Xorthos (5:52:07 PM): yes
TextThief Ponzzz (5:50:08 PM): read the ingredients for the 65906 thime on the toothpaste
Xorthos (5:52:18 PM): i always like it when it goes smoothly
Xorthos (5:52:26 PM): i hate when i get that pasty icecream shit that just cakes to my butthole
Xorthos (5:52:30 PM): and gets all in my butthair
TextThief Ponzzz (5:50:43 PM): yea, the ones that require like one wipe are the best
Xorthos (5:52:47 PM): and you sit there for 45 minutes wiping your ass, and use half a roll of toilet paper
TextThief Ponzzz (5:50:49 PM): yea, pasty shit sucks
Xorthos (5:52:53 PM): and you're like shit where does this keep coming from
TextThief Ponzzz (5:51:00 PM): I have like 4 dredlocks in my ass sometimes after a nasty shit
TextThief Ponzzz (5:51:08 PM): I KNOW
Xorthos (5:53:11 PM): so you run the toilet paper under the sink to get it wet then pretty much wash your ass
Xorthos (5:53:18 PM): but it just smears it onto your buttcheeks
TextThief Ponzzz (5:51:30 PM): like sometimes you just rub like the left side of your ass cheek just to see if the shit is all the way over there, and it is!
Xorthos (5:53:44 PM): yes,
Xorthos (5:54:05 PM): and you just have no idea how the hell it gets there...because you know you didn't pinch it off with your entire asscheek
TextThief Ponzzz (5:52:08 PM): fuck, one time, I had a hydra looking shit with like 8 heads staring back at me when I was about to flush
Xorthos (5:54:16 PM): i think it just dangles out and swings back up and thwops you on the ass
Xorthos (5:54:20 PM): like giving you a spank goodbye
TextThief Ponzzz (5:52:20 PM): I had to call the girlfriend over to look
Xorthos (5:54:59 PM): Or those where it's an emergency, and you run in expecting a 30 minute shit, and it's just one giant *BOOM*...and you sit there wondering "damn was that all?"
Xorthos (5:55:18 PM): then you look in the toilet and you've built a new pyramid that rivals egyptian architecture
TextThief Ponzzz (5:53:36 PM): the best ones are at work
TextThief Ponzzz (5:53:47 PM): a nice 40 minutes of steamy shit
TextThief Ponzzz (5:54:14 PM): others walk into the bathroom and are like, "OH MY FUCKING GOD SOMEONE CALL MAINTENCE!"