Jolena
03-31-2007, 03:39 PM
This was pretty damned funny, in my opinion. Was posted on the officials in the dragonfly festival folder by Bacl.
Re: Festival Schedule? · on 3/29/2007 3:19:43 AM 383
Reply
>>I deny any knowledge of new GMs. - Votary<<
>>These are not the GMs you're looking for. - Troyan<<
Alright players, look alive! We've got some new meat at this festival, and it is up to us to tear each and every one of these fresh and innocent GMs to shreds.
Here's the gameplan:
#1 Start with what always works: Complaining! I'm happy to see that most of you have already started doing this, despite the fact the festival has not even started. Good work, but don't enjoy the festival so mucht hat you forget to complain everything from lack of 24/7 merchants to lack of low cost off the shelf 10x gear. If you spot any roleplay being led by a GM, smash it fast by complaining about how the GM should be altering YOUR items. Heck, if you see ANY roleplay...well, it is unlikely...but best to nip those things in the bud before they spread and soon people might one day even expect you do it!
#2 Now let's move on to more advanced tactics: Completely disregarding the alteration guidelines when you get picked by a merchant! Now, many people will suggest you can excel at this by intentionally not reading the alterations guidelines which are provided in game, but I respectfully disagree. My advice is to read them, and then try and think of alterations that completely go against as many rules as possible. "A glowing human-skin rogue's shirt which causes you to scream in fear simply by looking at it" is one example, but you can probably break even more rules if you put your mind to it. Make sure you don't accept "no" for an answer. Take the time to enter into a looong debate where you not only question the reasoning behind these rules which the GM did not personally create and has no authority to change, but be sure to question whther they know what they are doing. "Are you a new GM?" and "Just how long have you been playing?" are old classics which will aide you greatly.
#3 Let's talk detail-work: Causing trouble. This one is pretty self-explaintory, but can be difficult to master. The best way to suck fun out of the festival and give the GMs running it a nervous break down is to constantly be running around causing trouble. See someone you don't like? Make sure you tell them why in front of their friends. Don't be afraid to use tackle and web on a consenting friend to annoy the living pants off everyone else in the room. In a crowded room where everyone is trying the best they can to listen to a popular merchant? Make sure you take out your musical intrument, light up your incense, and start SINGING. In fact, just try to fidget, beam, gawk, agree, nod, wave, salute, and otherwise MOVE as much as you can when in the most crowded of rooms. And remember...this is a festival! That means you should be completely out of character at all times. The only reason you are here is to get altering work done. Don't talk unless it is to ask about a merchant. Don't whisper to a merchant or another player unless it is an OOC whisper. Start fights, and attack your friends to pass the time. Make sure to constantly comment on how you don't like the theme of the festival. if you meet a player who is having a good time and asks you excitedly, "Pretty great festival, eh?" Make sure you tell them, "No."
#4 The advanced mechanics: Accuse GMs of favoritism! This one is like gasoline and fire. Just a little and you spark a huge explosion. Go onto the message boards and post on how in 10 years of faithfully playing one character on one account you've never had a single alteration. Point out that you see the same people getting alterations and that they own 10 accounts and MA and are all terrible people. MAke sure you point out the the GMs are friends with them and that's why they are the same ones who get the same services. Threaten to cancel your account. Compare Simutronics to other companies, and then outline how Simutronics is not run as a business should be. Relate this to your lack of gaining an alteration within the first ten minutes of the festival. Remember to keep repeating that the GMs use favoritism and the spinners are rigged.
#5 Be creative! Don't say thank you. Write angry posts in this folder about things the the GMs either have no control over, or already ruled upon. Make it personal.
If we don't show these GMs who is boss they'll start thinking they can get away with anything...like more free events! Act like you paid for this event. Bring up events from ten years ago which were much better run and explain how the difference must be in the people running them! Remember, you pay their HUGE salaries! It's your money that put their kids in private school and bought them a Porshe for each day of the week! And we still don't have complete spell circles! Slackers! Tell them so! Make it personal!
Or...just have a good time, try not to complain, be ready with an acceptable alter when the merchant picks you, and put that damn intrument away! Whichever you prefer. ; )
Re: Festival Schedule? · on 3/29/2007 3:19:43 AM 383
Reply
>>I deny any knowledge of new GMs. - Votary<<
>>These are not the GMs you're looking for. - Troyan<<
Alright players, look alive! We've got some new meat at this festival, and it is up to us to tear each and every one of these fresh and innocent GMs to shreds.
Here's the gameplan:
#1 Start with what always works: Complaining! I'm happy to see that most of you have already started doing this, despite the fact the festival has not even started. Good work, but don't enjoy the festival so mucht hat you forget to complain everything from lack of 24/7 merchants to lack of low cost off the shelf 10x gear. If you spot any roleplay being led by a GM, smash it fast by complaining about how the GM should be altering YOUR items. Heck, if you see ANY roleplay...well, it is unlikely...but best to nip those things in the bud before they spread and soon people might one day even expect you do it!
#2 Now let's move on to more advanced tactics: Completely disregarding the alteration guidelines when you get picked by a merchant! Now, many people will suggest you can excel at this by intentionally not reading the alterations guidelines which are provided in game, but I respectfully disagree. My advice is to read them, and then try and think of alterations that completely go against as many rules as possible. "A glowing human-skin rogue's shirt which causes you to scream in fear simply by looking at it" is one example, but you can probably break even more rules if you put your mind to it. Make sure you don't accept "no" for an answer. Take the time to enter into a looong debate where you not only question the reasoning behind these rules which the GM did not personally create and has no authority to change, but be sure to question whther they know what they are doing. "Are you a new GM?" and "Just how long have you been playing?" are old classics which will aide you greatly.
#3 Let's talk detail-work: Causing trouble. This one is pretty self-explaintory, but can be difficult to master. The best way to suck fun out of the festival and give the GMs running it a nervous break down is to constantly be running around causing trouble. See someone you don't like? Make sure you tell them why in front of their friends. Don't be afraid to use tackle and web on a consenting friend to annoy the living pants off everyone else in the room. In a crowded room where everyone is trying the best they can to listen to a popular merchant? Make sure you take out your musical intrument, light up your incense, and start SINGING. In fact, just try to fidget, beam, gawk, agree, nod, wave, salute, and otherwise MOVE as much as you can when in the most crowded of rooms. And remember...this is a festival! That means you should be completely out of character at all times. The only reason you are here is to get altering work done. Don't talk unless it is to ask about a merchant. Don't whisper to a merchant or another player unless it is an OOC whisper. Start fights, and attack your friends to pass the time. Make sure to constantly comment on how you don't like the theme of the festival. if you meet a player who is having a good time and asks you excitedly, "Pretty great festival, eh?" Make sure you tell them, "No."
#4 The advanced mechanics: Accuse GMs of favoritism! This one is like gasoline and fire. Just a little and you spark a huge explosion. Go onto the message boards and post on how in 10 years of faithfully playing one character on one account you've never had a single alteration. Point out that you see the same people getting alterations and that they own 10 accounts and MA and are all terrible people. MAke sure you point out the the GMs are friends with them and that's why they are the same ones who get the same services. Threaten to cancel your account. Compare Simutronics to other companies, and then outline how Simutronics is not run as a business should be. Relate this to your lack of gaining an alteration within the first ten minutes of the festival. Remember to keep repeating that the GMs use favoritism and the spinners are rigged.
#5 Be creative! Don't say thank you. Write angry posts in this folder about things the the GMs either have no control over, or already ruled upon. Make it personal.
If we don't show these GMs who is boss they'll start thinking they can get away with anything...like more free events! Act like you paid for this event. Bring up events from ten years ago which were much better run and explain how the difference must be in the people running them! Remember, you pay their HUGE salaries! It's your money that put their kids in private school and bought them a Porshe for each day of the week! And we still don't have complete spell circles! Slackers! Tell them so! Make it personal!
Or...just have a good time, try not to complain, be ready with an acceptable alter when the merchant picks you, and put that damn intrument away! Whichever you prefer. ; )