need help - job conundrum

[vontez]

Hello all, I come here seeking advice.

Where to begin...the beginning of course! I asked a family friend of mine to see if he could "hook me up" with an internship for the summer, and he said he could. He came through with a fairly prestigious federal program, with great facilities, smart people, etc, which I interviewed for. I went through the interview, and I was fairly confident I did NOT get the job, and somehow got the impression that basically, I was getting the interview because the friend vouched for me.

Fast forward 2 weeks, and I interview for a much less prestigious state office intern position (neither internship pays), but it was in a specific field of practice I wanted, and I would be doing much more substantive work, as opposed to all research in the first job. I ACCEPTED it, and said I could start immediately.

Today, I get a letter saying I got the first internship as well. Please advise...should I decline the first job, citing that I already have a job, much to the ire of federal people and the family friend, or should I give some bullshit reason to the state office.

Other factors: I COULD possibly return to the state job next summer. They are attractive because they hire from within the intern program, the federal job does not. Also, I could work there during the school year. However, the federal job is fairly prestigious, and has MUCH nicer facilities, and I'll save some $ living with the parents.

HELP!

[Gan]

1. First mistake, asking the PC for advice. :spaz:

2. If neither internship pays, then it really doesnt matter what you tell the one you turn down, other than its always a good policy to just be honest and say you are taking a better offer (better in non-tangibles it seems).

3. Decide which one will pay off more on the long run with regards to your career and desired career path. Especially since short run costs wont matter if you wind up in a dead end career 5/10 years from now because you wanted to save a few measly bucks way back when. Think of it as investing instead. ;)

4. See #1.

[StrayRogue]

Flip a coin.

[Meges]

For the short term: refuse both, collect wellfare, and then play GemStone all day and night long for the rest of your life. Long term goal: gain a sum total of 400 pounds and add disability to your wellfare paycheck.


Meges

PS You can do all this while living with your parents to save a few bucks.

[Kranar]

Don't take a worse off job simply because you feel guilty/bad.

It certainly wasn't a good idea to jump onto an inferior job without getting results back, but you do not 'owe' those guys anything.

Take the job that best suits you personally and will benefit you the most in the long run. If you simply accept a job because you feel bad, then you'll have done two silly mistakes as opposed to just one.

Believe me, you'll get over the fact that you ditched a company after like 1 week of working at a place you enjoy.

[TheEschaton]

If you ACCEPTED the job, you have to take it. That's just what responsibility and courtesy dictates, especially as they've probably told everyone else no, now.

When you reject the federal position, say that they took too long, and you accepted another position.

There are benefits to both programs, it seems, so I don't see it as taking a "worse" job over a better job.

It's not professional to reject a job after you've already accepted. Especially since it's gov't, these kind of things get remembered..

-TheE-

[Landrion]

Theres nothing rude about saying youve already accepted another offer and you thank them for their consideration. Besides, in the long run, wouldnt you rather do the job you got on your own merits as opposed to the one your friend asked for on your behalf?

[Gan]

If you ACCEPTED the job, you have to take it. That's just what responsibility and courtesy dictates, especially as they've probably told everyone else no, now.-TheE-

Incorrect. You do not HAVE to take the job unless you signed a contract, which unless you're playing for a major sports team...

[TheEschaton]

Not as in legally bound "have to", but as in obligationally-bound. Otherwise you're screwing the guys who gave you the offer, and those kind of screwovers go a long way in state gov't I imagine.

-TheE-

[Kranar]

That's absolutely absurd, a job isn't a prison sentence; you should work because of pride and skillset, not because you're forced or locked into something.

There is absolutely no shame in telling a company you will not work for them because you found a better place to work for. You're just doing everyone a disservice by working somewhere you're not fully comfortable being. Use this internship as a means of gaining valuable experience and exposure, don't look at this as some kind of guilt trip you went into because you felt obliged to some company. Also the notion that telling one employer that you changed your mind in taking the job offer will go a long way and somehow bite you in the rear end down the future is pretty absurd in my opinion.

It's not like they're going to keep a record of you in their database that blacklists you for all time... take the job you'll be proud to work in, don't let fear and guilt dictate your work ethic.

[TheEschaton]

No offense, Kranar, but you work in a purely capitalistic job market. People go willy nilly to wherever suits them.

If this is a gov't job, there's politics involved, no matter how bureaucratic the position.

And it's not a guilt trip, he can learn good skills, and have an in on the state level. The only thing going for the federal job seems to be "nicer facilities" and saving a bit of cash on staying with the 'rents. It's not a matter of one job being superior to the other.

-TheE-

[Kranar]

If it's the case that he will learn and be happy in either job, then this wouldn't be much of an issue now would it?

It comes through to me that he's having a problem because on the one hand he wants to work for the Federal government at a job he would be really happy and proud to do, vs. going with some backup job he got with the State government that would be... meh, not too shabby, but not the thing he really wants to go with.

If the only thing keeping him from going to the Federal job is guilt, then yeah, he made a silly mistake by jumping onto the State job, but this mistake isn't something that one who is doing an internship for no pay and purely for experience/opportunity should have to carry with them. It's not worth it, it's not going to benefit either him or his employer, no one really gains from this.

[Daniel]

Do what I did in a similar situation: Lie.

Tell them something came up and that you really regret not being able to fulfill your commitment but if they'll have you, that you look forward to working with them in the future.

[Nieninque]

Life's too short to be stuck doing stuff you think is not as good as something else you could have done.

Screw what anyone else thins about the choices you make. Fuck professionalism. Fuck moral obligations. First and foremost, if you want to do one over and above the other, thats the one you need to take. Regardless of all other considerations.

You owe nobody in this scenario anything...other than a little bit of common courtesy in letting them know you are turning them down. You can be honest about it, but lets face it, it's not the end of the world if you arent.

Dont be or feel guilt-tripped into making a wrong decision. It's your life and making choices to please other people is (as Kranar pointed out) fucking stupid.

[Daniel]

The thing you guys are missing is that unlike the business world, the public world is often more about who you know and not what you can do in the long run.

Therefore, burning bridges and saying fuck all those things is counterproductive in the long run.

[DeV]

The state job seems to offer you more in the way of training in the field of expertise you are intersted in and by your own admission you'd be doing more meaningful work in your specific field. Both are highly important factors that should be weighed in with your decision.

You accepted the job and with it indicated that you could start immediately. Is it your belief that if you retract the state job offer you've already accepted they would consider you as a potential candidate next summer? If so, I don't see why you shouldn't consider the federal job if it'd save you money during the year as well as alleviate any issues that turning it down might create with the relative who vouched for you initially.

You have alot to consider, but it all boils down to what will benefit you most in the long run. And although complicated, and better said than done on most accounts, do what you'll love.

[Nieninque]

The thing you guys are missing is that unlike the business world, the public world is often more about who you know and not what you can do in the long run.

Is that not what the business world is all about as well?


Therefore, burning bridges and saying fuck all those things is counterproductive in the long run.

He doesnt have to burn bridges to do something other than the one he has accepted. I certainly wouldnt advise him telling them to fuck off. But he still shouldnt take it because he thinks he should...he should take it because he wants to and he thinks it will benefit him in the long run.

[Gan]

Do what I did in a similar situation: Lie.

Tell them something came up and that you really regret not being able to fulfill your commitment but if they'll have you, that you look forward to working with them in the future.

In light of what field this is in, then its best to go with the tried and true legal approach: Admit nothing, deny everything. In other words, do as Daniel suggests. ;)

[vontez]

i've made my decision, probably the one that is most prudent. Since I was already offered a job, and I accepted, it would be unprofessional to back out now. Practically, the state job is much better for getting me an "in" in the profession. I'll just have to graciously decline the fed. internship, and hope that that avenue might still be available if need be. Thanks for your input everyone!

[Kranar]

Best of luck and heck, congrats.

Nothing beats having to decide between two sweet jobs, many people search endlessly just for one.

[Ignot]

We are talking about an internship right?

[Latrinsorm]

Standing by your commitments is appropriate behavior. Kudos.

[vontez]

yup, just an internship

[Keller]

Good call taking the state job.

As E said, it's the correct political approach.

[TheEschaton]

Congrats. I don't think you've closed your options off on the federal level at all. Say you want a ground-up experience, stroke their federal ego, say the state is like the minor leagues, the fed is the major leagues. I turned down a firm for this summer to take a job at the Manhattan DA, telling them that I wanted to have a background in criminal work before working for a firm in case I ever want to be part of their litigation group. They agreed with me and were almost begging me to come back to apply for next summer.

-TheE-

[Ignot]

yup, just an internship

Just wanted to make sure.

[ElanthianSiren]

1. First mistake, asking the PC for advice. :spaz:

4. See #1.

You should have referenced it five or six more times, but the advice was pretty decent this time around, I feel.

I also believe he acted appropriate. Congradulations for sticking to your commitment and good luck.