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Keller
02-23-2007, 03:20 PM
It made me laugh.

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Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law. I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that border us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. If my friend eats at Joe's Crabshack, is stoning appropriate?

Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

My neighbor, not the one who works on Sunday, but another one, has a garden. He violates Leviticus 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments of different types of thread (cotton/polyester blend) Is it necessary to go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them. (Leviticus 24:10-16) Could just the people on my block do that?

Jorddyn
02-23-2007, 03:47 PM
It made me laugh.
...
Is it necessary to go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them. (Leviticus 24:10-16) Could just the people on my block do that?

You know, I've read this before, but it always makes me snort-laugh.

So thanks!

Jorddyn

Satira
02-23-2007, 04:26 PM
Yeah me too.

I hate how she handles things. Someone will call up and say, "Hi, yeah, I cheated on my ex boyfriend a few months ago, and actually ended up pregnant. I'm not sure what I should do now, do you have any suggestions?"

And Dr. Laura will say, "Don't cheat on your boyfriend."

And she's like that with a lot of things. She fixes absolutely nothing.

Tsa`ah
02-23-2007, 04:43 PM
Yeah me too.

I hate how she handles things. Someone will call up and say, "Hi, yeah, I cheated on my ex boyfriend a few months ago, and actually ended up pregnant. I'm not sure what I should do now, do you have any suggestions?"

And Dr. Laura will say, "Don't cheat on your boyfriend."

And she's like that with a lot of things. She fixes absolutely nothing.

What more can one expect of a woman who didn't practice or convert until 96? A woman who screwed around with a married man for years and didn't marry him until several years after screwing around with him before and after his divorce?

I'm ashamed this woman can actually call herself a jew yet has such a trivial understanding of the laws.

Stanley Burrell
02-23-2007, 06:16 PM
What more can one expect of a woman who didn't practice or convert until 96? A woman who screwed around with a married man for years and didn't marry him until several years after screwing around with him before and after his divorce?

I'm ashamed this woman can actually call herself a jew yet has such a trivial understanding of the laws.

How bad is it that I don't even know who this is?

How bad 2x is it that when I looked her up on Wikipedia, I really thought she was Joan Rivers.

I hope my 20/10 isn't going. If it does, I'll rock The Eyes of the Overworld in place of religion. Holla.