Hey, Brits, HPEL!

I'm going to England in late August to early September. I was wondering if our local Brits here had any suggestions on flights and hotels that are kind of cheap in the area. Any help is appreciated as well with other money saving tips!

- Arkans

[Apotheosis]

all you have to do is call anyone on the phone 'Guv'nor' and say Cheerio instead of goodbye and they will hook you up.

[Makkah]

Asking a Brit for help is like asking a Frenchman about women. They are useless.

[Gan]

Originally posted by Makkah
Asking a Brit for help is like asking a Frenchman about women. They are useless.

:lol2:


I hear Orbitz has the Nemo-traveller section available with lots of deals. :whistle:

I went to Orbitz and really wasn't THAT blown away by the deals.

- Arkans

[longshot]

Strayrogue posted a helpful guide awhile back about traveling to the UK...

I'll see if I can find it.

[longshot]

Found it! Props to StrayRogue for this one...


MONEY
The Brits have peculiar words for many things. Money is referred to as
"goolies" in slang, so you should for instance say "I'd love to come to the
pub but I haven't got any goolies." "Quid" is the modern word for what was
once called a "shilling" - the equivalent of seventeen cents American.


MAKING FRIENDS
If you are fond of someone, you should tell him he is a "great tosser" - he
will be touched. The English are a notoriously tactile, demonstrative
people, and if you want to fit in you should hold hands with your
acquaintances and tossers when you walk down the street.


FOOD AND WINE
British cuisine enjoys a well deserved reputation as the most sublime
gastronomic pleasure available to man. Thanks to today's robust dollar, the
American traveller can easily afford to dine out several times a week (rest
assured that a British meal is worth interrupting your afternoon wank for).
Few foreigners are aware that there are several grades of meat in the UK.
The best cuts of meat, like the best bottles of gin, bear Her Majesty's
seal, called the British Stamp of Excellence (BSE). When you go to a fine
restaurant, tell your waiter you want BSE beef and won't settle for
anything less. If he balks at your request, custom dictates that you jerk
your head imperiously back and forth while rolling your eyes to show him
who is boss.

Once the waiter realises you are a person of discriminating taste, he may
offer to let you peruse the restaurant's list of exquisite British wines.
If he does not, you should order one anyway. The best wine grapes grow on
the steep, chalky hillsides of Yorkshire and East Anglia - try an Ely '84
or Ripon '88 for a rare treat indeed.

When the bill for your meal comes it will show a suggested amount. Pay
whatever you think is fair, unless you plan to dine there again, in which
case you should simply walk out; the restaurant host will understand that
he should run a tab for you.


TRANSPORTATION
Public taxis are subsidised by the Her Majesty's Government. A taxi ride in
London costs two pounds, no matter how far you travel. If a taxi driver
tries to overcharge you, you should yell "I think not, you charlatan!",
then grab the nearest policeman (bobby) and have the driver disciplined.

It is rarely necessary to take a taxi, though, since bus drivers are
required to make detours at patrons' requests. Just board any bus, pay your
fare of thruppence (the heavy gold-coloured coins are "pence", and state
your destination clearly to the driver, e.g.: "Please take me to the
British Library." A driver will frequently try to have a bit of harmless
fun by pretending he doesn't go to your requested destination. Ignore him,
as he is only teasing the American tourist (little does he know you're not
so ignorant!).

For those travelling on a shoestring budget, the London Tube may be the
most economical way to get about, especially if you are a woman. Chivalry
is alive and well in Britain, and ladies still travel for free on the Tube.
Simply take some tokens from the baskets at the base of the escalators or
on the platforms; you will find one near any of the state-sponsored Tube
musicians.

Once on the platform, though, beware! Approaching trains sometimes disturb
the large Gappe bats that roost in the tunnels. The Gappes were smuggled
into London in the early 19th century by French saboteurs and have proved
impossible to exterminate. The announcement "Mind the Gappe!" is a signal
that you should grab your hair and look towards the ceiling. Very few
people have ever been killed by Gappes, though, and they are considered
only a minor drawback to an otherwise excellent means of transportation.


AIRPORTS
One final note: for preferential treatment when you arrive at Heathrow
airport, announce that you are a member of Shin Fane (an international
Jewish peace organization-the "shin" stands for "shalom". As savvy
travellers know, this little white lie will assure you priority treatment
as you make your way through customs. Safe travels and Bon Voyage!

[StrayRogue]

Ah memories. You didn't exactly specify where you were going Arkans. Telling us where the hell you're going would be a start.

Looking like the 25th of August to the 5th of September! Sorry about that!

- Arkans

[StrayRogue]

I meant specific in WHERE you were going, not when.

[Apotheosis]

arkans, remember, if "those european people" have a hard time understanding what you're saying. its best to START SPEAKING SLOWLY AND LOUDER UNTIL THEY UNDERSTAND. even if they have a puzzled look on their faces..

[StrayRogue]

Yeah because "area" is really specific in the UK...

[Hulkein]

I don't think he was trying to make fun of you, Stray.

[Asha]

:lol:
Destination?
Important!

I'll come hassle you, show you the proper drinks we have over 'ere.

[4a6c1]

Originally posted by longshot
Once on the platform, though, beware! Approaching trains sometimes disturb
the large Gappe bats that roost in the tunnels. The Gappes were smuggled
into London in the early 19th century by French saboteurs and have proved
impossible to exterminate. The announcement "Mind the Gappe!" is a signal
that you should grab your hair and look towards the ceiling. Very few
people have ever been killed by Gappes, though, and they are considered
only a minor drawback to an otherwise excellent means of transportation.


:lol2:

I couldnt stop laughing when I read that because the first time I heard the crazy robot voice say 'Mind...the Gap' I DID LOOK UP AROUND ME !! trying to figure out where the hell it was coming from.

ROFL @ stealing the Tube musicians money too

[Asha]

Also , welcome to the worlds LONGEST escalators.
(moving stairs, fuck knows how to spell that)

I'll have to look at the locations that seem cheap as far as landing, but the goal is to get a flight right into London. I definately do not need a direct flight, that's for sure!

- Arkans

PS: I'd drink you under the table, Drayal

[Overlord]

lmfao I have a blast in those escalators in the Heathrow terminals. At 2am you can bolt up and down them with no one around.

I think I'll have to go south into the dreaded English territory to get hammered with you. Besides....it will be refreshing to talk to someone else with an american accent again lmfao. Everyone thinks I'm bloody canadain anytime I talk!!!1234!!

[Wezas]

I went to London when I was 18. The main thing I remember being an issue:

Unlike D.C., museums and attractions cost money there. My ATM card wouldn't work in London (worked in Italy though) so I was shit out of luck visiting a few of the attractions.

[AnticorRifling]

London was a blast when I was there. Can't wait to go back (read that as can't wait to be single and go back)

[Overlord]

So what exactly are you planning to do here in the UK for 10 days anyway?

[Latrinsorm]

Originally posted by Overlord
So what exactly are you planning to do here in the UK for 10 days anyway? 0600 25 August: Big Ben (being sure to announce "I've seen bigger" and gesture meaningfully)
0601 25 August: Crush the Socialists.
0602 25 August - 2359 5 September: Shop!

Pleasure. My goal is to hit every country in Europe and England just happens to be next. Honestly, fuck Museums and all that. I'm there to party.

- Arkans

[xtc]

Arkans my Mom is a Brit and we went back every other summer when I was a kid. Of course we stayed with family. Pick a charter flight into London, Air Transat, Skyservice, whatever is available.

We always stayed with relatives but I believe hotels near the train station in London are cheaper than others. Affordable London hotels suck by western standards; you may have to share a bathroom. Although London has beautiful hotels, none of them will be in your price range.

London is expensive and very big, be prepared. The people are quite friendly considering the size of the city.

Get out of London, visit the country side. People are friendlier and accommodations are cheaper. Stay at bed and breakfasts or country farmhouses. I like Yorkshire, the Lake District in the north, and the southern coast. England is small you can drive anywhere in a day. Roads are smaller; they drive on the other side of the road. The driver controls are where our passenger sits. The gas, brake, clutch are in the same place but the gear shifter is on the left which takes some getting use to. There are more manual transmission cars in England than in the west. I would rent an automatic despite the increased cost. Round abouts, I never could figure them out; I just pull a Homer Simpson on them.

I hope this helps a little, feel free to u2u me.

p.s. The last time I was in England the girls were uhm easy (no offense to Brit girls)

[Edited on 6-3-2005 by xtc]

[Overlord]

Are you kidding, they love the accent here. It works for me :smug:
B&Bs are the way to go, cheaper accomodation with breakfast, score.

[Miss X]

Originally posted by xtc
p.s. The last time I was in England the girls were uhm easy (no offense to Brit girls)

:rofl: I've already given him tips on pulling Brit girls. One hint of American army guy and they will be all over him like a fucking rash. This is London obviously, we are more refined in Essex....

[Overlord]

Oh yeah!! Gotta love those Essex girls....so academically inclined as apposed to those filthy ....Londoners??

[Sean of the Thread]

Originally posted by Arkans
I went to Orbitz and really wasn't THAT blown away by the deals.

- Arkans

Because you were in the wrong section. Here ya go I'll get you pointed in the right direction.

http://www.orbitz.com/App/GetDealsDetailsContent?deal_id=gaytravel&source=hp &type=l

Seriously I want to know if there are budget areas etc and any other travel tips from our UK friends here.

Edited to say that I went back and read xtc's post and it contained alot of what I was looking for. Sorry I usually skip over your posts :lol:

[Edited on 6-3-2005 by Xyelin]

[xtc]

Originally posted by Miss X

Originally posted by xtc
p.s. The last time I was in England the girls were uhm easy (no offense to Brit girls)

:rofl: I've already given him tips on pulling Brit girls. One hint of American army guy and they will be all over him like a fucking rash. This is London obviously, we are more refined in Essex....

Sorry, I meant no offense perhaps I should have said friendly. I live in Toronto and the girls here are cold on average and unfriendly. When I have been in England I have found the girls much friendlier and open.

[Sean of the Thread]

Originally posted by xtc

Originally posted by Miss X

Originally posted by xtc
p.s. The last time I was in England the girls were uhm easy (no offense to Brit girls)

:rofl: I've already given him tips on pulling Brit girls. One hint of American army guy and they will be all over him like a fucking rash. This is London obviously, we are more refined in Essex....

Sorry, I meant no offense perhaps I should have said friendly. I live in Toronto and the girls here are cold on average and unfriendly. When I have been in England I have found the girls much friendlier and open.


I always thought Toronto had more than its share of pricks and assholes.. nice city tho.

[xtc]

Originally posted by Xyelin

Originally posted by xtc

Originally posted by Miss X

Originally posted by xtc
p.s. The last time I was in England the girls were uhm easy (no offense to Brit girls)

:rofl: I've already given him tips on pulling Brit girls. One hint of American army guy and they will be all over him like a fucking rash. This is London obviously, we are more refined in Essex....

Sorry, I meant no offense perhaps I should have said friendly. I live in Toronto and the girls here are cold on average and unfriendly. When I have been in England I have found the girls much friendlier and open.


I always thought Toronto had more than its share of pricks and assholes.. nice city tho.

Nah....people are friendly to tourists, it is just that girls in bars are less friendly than in other cities.

:rofl: I'm lucky I took the day off from work to work on my tan today and didn't open that link up there.

- Arkans

[xtc]

Arkans depending on your age and if you are in school and the flexibility of your schedule, you can always fly student standby which is usually very cheap.

[Miss X]

You took a day off work to work on your tan? Oh God... You are going to get the shit kicked out of you over here, I fear for you. DO NOT venture to the North, I doubt you would make it out alive. ;)

[StrayRogue]

I agree.

Yes, I do take classes. What's up with this student standby? I never heard of it?

- Arkans

PS: Being pasty Eastern European is *NOT* in!!

[Sean of the Thread]

Originally posted by Miss X
You took a day off work to work on your tan? Oh God... You are going to get the shit kicked out of you over here, I fear for you. DO NOT venture to the North, I doubt you would make it out alive. ;)

Are you serious???

[StrayRogue]

Have you seen Trainspotting before?

[Leetahkin]

If the British/American money conversion wasn't so crappy I'd so visit Britain.
Le sigh.

I love that movie. It's actually one of my quotes for my away messages:

"At or around this time, Spud, Sick Boy, and I made a healthy, informed, democratic decision to get back on heroin as soon as possible."


And yes, me and my American friends do believe that is what all of Scotland is like.

- Arkans

[xtc]

Originally posted by Arkans
Yes, I do take classes. What's up with this student standby? I never heard of it?

- Arkans

PS: Being pasty Eastern European is *NOT* in!!

Student standby isn't offered by alot of airlines anymore but there are few. Basically you show up at the ticket counter at the airport and put your name on the standby list to London. When a flight comes up with a seat on it to London it is yours at a low cost. You aren't guaranteed a seat so it is a bit of a gamble. Call the airlines that fly to London and see if they offer student standby and what the requirements are.

LINK (http://studenttravel.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=studenttravel&zu=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.airtran.c om%2Fspecials%2Fxfares%2Findex.jsp)

[xtc]

leaving Wed Aug 24 coming back Sat Sept 3 cost $585.72 plus taxes

http://www.studentuniverse.com/

Okay, now THAT is reasonable.

- Arkans

[xtc]

Originally posted by Arkans
Okay, now THAT is reasonable.

- Arkans

lol check the taxes and fee first they could be up to $200.

try this one as well:

http://www.statravel.com/statravel/default.aspx

Only chumps and people that like their freedom pay taxes.

- Arkans

PS: I'm gonna spend some time digging through these sites. You've been more helpful than a third hand when dealing with a three titted girl.

- Arkans

[xtc]

Originally posted by Arkans
Only chumps and people that like their freedom pay taxes.

- Arkans

PS: I'm gonna spend some time digging through these sites. You've been more helpful than a third hand when dealing with a three titted girl.

- Arkans

I am not sure how to take that.

Watch Total Recall!

"Baby, you make me wish I had three hands!"

- Arkans

[Wezas]

Originally posted by Arkans
Watch Total Recall!

"Baby, you make me wish I had three hands!"

- Arkans

Not Safe For Work link about what Arkans is referring to (http://www.themakeupgallery.info/weird/breasts/recall.htm)

[HarmNone]

How long do you plan to be in England, Arkans?

Thinking about two weeks. Maybe a day or two less. I think that's pleanty of time to completely turn London upside down!

- Arkans