Please, protect yourselves.

[ElvenRangeress]

Okay guys this is serious, please pass it down. A friend by the name of Joredalvi, passed away last night after homecoming, he was 17 years of age and a senior in HS. He was in a car accident. Please, please be careful, always wear a seatbelt, and hug your lovedones each day as if you'll never see them again, this is killing me inside, please guys, take care of yourselves. -Candi/Atheana

[Edited on 11-9-2003 by ElvenRangeress]

[Halfsilver]

I knew the kid and worked with him a while back.

He was bright, outgoing, everybody loved him. Good kid all the way around. Talked about going to college to me at one point.

Kinda brings life into a whole new perspective.

[Skirmisher]

I'm really sorry to hear that. Thats so very sad.

My sympathies to you and his family.

[HarmNone]

I am sorry to hear of the death of one so young, with so many hopes and dreams as yet unrealized. My heart goes out to his family and friends. It is always difficult to lose someone you care for, but even more difficult when that someone is so young.

HarmNone will light a candle for this sad loss

[ElvenRangeress]

After hearing about his death, my heart dropped to my feet. I realized how much myself, and others, take life for granted, how most of us never stop and think, wow, I'm so lucky to be here today, strong, and I await each day with pride, strength, and courage. Never let anything, or anyone pull you down, you have to be brave. During your life, explore the world, find yourself, make each day count. And never take your loved ones for granted neither, let them know just how much you love/care for them. Life goes by so fast, its passing us by as we speak, as breathe, each step we take another second of our lives is gone. I guess what I'm trying to say is, thank God everyday you are here, and know deep within your hearts exactly what you are here for and what you are here to do. I'm young myself, and was at the same dance last night, and just finding this out sent shivers up my spine, images of my close friends in that situation, or even myself flashed before my eyes, how would my family react? I'm sorry I'm rambling on an on, but we are all truly blessed to be here this evening, may God bless you all, and your family.

[Weedmage Princess]

Sorry for your loss.

[Black Jesus]

what kind of name is joredalvi?

[longshot]

I'm sorry for your loss.

You were at a dance?? No way!!

[CrystalTears]

longshot and Black Jesus, be nice.

[Caiylania]

How horrible, his parents must be shattered. I grieve for them, I know loss and its pain is unbearable.

[Halfsilver]

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/broward/sfl-ccrash09nov09,0,204967.story?coll=sfla-news-broward

For those who think to joke about it.



[Edited on 11-9-2003 by Halfsilver]

[Caiylania]

"At Fernandez' home, family members said the teen's parents were extremely distraught, grieving beneath balloons intended to mark the day Fernandez was born. Fernandez' uncle, Rick Rodriguez said everyone was stunned to see a day intended for celebration thrown into mourning." ~ sun sentinal

OMG.......... That is devastating. Those poor people, he sounds like he was a good kid. The girl who was hurt will need some real help to get over a tragedy like this, and so will his parents. I hope they are able to cope with this.

Just to rant.....

they put a fucking car ad on that page? How tactfull!!

[ElvenRangeress]

Its even harder knowing he died in front of my complex ;o(

They'll move on like every healthy person who loses someone does.

[Silleck]

I've had a friend die every year of my high school career, plus the 3 years after that. if fucking blows.

[ElvenRangeress]

It really does.

People die everyday. Get over it.

[GS4Gurl]

You just need a hug.

::hugs RangerD1::

[Caiylania]

Originally posted by GS4Gurl
You just need a hug.

::hugs RangerD1::


I agree. Never just say get over it... Everyone handles grief differently, and it doesn't always have to do with strength of mind or being healthy. It depends on the situation and everything surrounding it. Of course they will move on in time.

But for now they are in more pain than I ever want to imagine. To loose a child....

[Weedmage Princess]

Agreed, Caiylania. That's my greatest fear..losing a child. I'd gladly face anything other than that. If something ever happened to my son....hmm...I don't see myself getting over that...

Get over it. What good do you do by being all depressed and neglecting your other responsibilities in life? If you want his death to mean something move on and make something of it. But going around kicking rocks cause you feel sorry for yourself accomplishes nothing.

[Skirmisher]

Don't mind Ranger, he is the mushy, overly sentimental type.

You know me.

[StrayRogue]

In a way I agree with Ranger. Life is cruel and harsh, but we survive. Its what we are designed to do. Different cultures view different things differently. Child-birth and death being one of them. You could also be an economist and realize this planet is already grossly over-populated. And that will only get worse. Perhaps we should work out this "food/air" deal before we continue rutting, bringing our little "miracles" into the world.

Either way, sorry for your loss.

[AnticorRifling]

I agree with RangerD, life goes on. Say your piece, remember the person in your own way but don't dwell or pine for any length of time. Funerals are for the living. To truly remember someone do it in private. Public grief is for attention.

I didn't read the link what was involved with the wreck? high speed /drinking/ etc.?

[ElvenRangeress]

I posted about this so people would think twice before they do something, so they can look at life and say, wow, I'm lucky to be here today.

[Caiylania]

Originally posted by AnticorRifling
I agree with RangerD, life goes on. Say your piece, remember the person in your own way but don't dwell or pine for any length of time. Funerals are for the living. To truly remember someone do it in private. Public grief is for attention.


Yeah, life goes on. But it takes time to heal from loosing someone you love. You can't just move on in a week, or a month.

So me breaking down at my mother's funeral and crying was for attention? Not because I couldn't breath and felt like I was dying inside?

[longshot]

Originally posted by AnticorRifling
I agree with RangerD, life goes on. Say your piece, remember the person in your own way but don't dwell or pine for any length of time. Funerals are for the living. To truly remember someone do it in private. Public grief is for attention.

I didn't read the link what was involved with the wreck? high speed /drinking/ etc.?

He was at an afterparty where there was drinking, but they don't know if he was drinking yet, according to the link.

Also, in the link, it said he was popular. There's no way he could have been friends with Atheana then... maybe he gave her a charity smile in the hallway or something, but I highly doubt they were friends.

I think this is yet again another attempt to steer attention towards you, Atheana.

You see, just because someone in your highschool dies does not mean they are friends with you.

This maybe your first experience with death, so you probably had to put down your next Starburst and contemplate life for a moment... which explains all the hackneyed drivel on the previous page that only a highschooler could write about "life and death".

This does not mean you were friends though.

I'm sorry the guy died. I really am. I think you are so pathetic though that you would use it for attention. It's almost as bad as Warclaidhm's suicide thread.

So, how was the dance?

Did you wear a red dress?


http://www.techsewing.com/images/PTS/ProtoProd/koolman.gif

[Red Devil]

It's almost as bad as Warclaidhm's suicide thread.

LINK plz

[Halfsilver]

Longshot, dude...you are a total fucking asshole.

To tell you the truth, they were friends.
As I said earlier, I worked with him and knew him well.

It's a shame that people as thoughtless and shitty as you exist in this world.

Next time, when you masturbate, because you are so fucking lonely and pathetic, why don't you glue some glass shards or something to your hand so you make yourself impotent? Do everyone a favor. thanks.

-grays/d

[AnticorRifling]

Originally posted by Caiylania

Originally posted by AnticorRifling
I agree with RangerD, life goes on. Say your piece, remember the person in your own way but don't dwell or pine for any length of time. Funerals are for the living. To truly remember someone do it in private. Public grief is for attention.


Yeah, life goes on. But it takes time to heal from loosing someone you love. You can't just move on in a week, or a month.

So me breaking down at my mother's funeral and crying was for attention? Not because I couldn't breath and felt like I was dying inside?

You don't want my opinion on that. I'm the first to admit I lack emotions like that. I haven't cried for anything but extreme physical pain since fifth grade. Not when I presented the flag to my grandmother at my grandfathers funeral. Not when I unloaded friends from a plane coming home for the last time.

I'm just telling you my opinion on the issue, by no means is it the right and or only way. I remember my dead friends and family in my own way, normally it's through laughter.


Ohh if the kid was drunk I don't feel bad for him. People the drink and drive deserve to get bent around a tree. Ohh but he was drunk he didn't know what he was doing. Guess what, sober him knew he was going to a party, if he didn't have the common sense to hand off his keys tough. In today's world everyone knows the risks about drinking and driving.


<--- Cold hearted when presented with acts of stupidity.

[Caiylania]

Originally posted by AnticorRifling

Originally posted by Caiylania

Originally posted by AnticorRifling
I agree with RangerD, life goes on. Say your piece, remember the person in your own way but don't dwell or pine for any length of time. Funerals are for the living. To truly remember someone do it in private. Public grief is for attention.


Yeah, life goes on. But it takes time to heal from loosing someone you love. You can't just move on in a week, or a month.

So me breaking down at my mother's funeral and crying was for attention? Not because I couldn't breath and felt like I was dying inside?

You don't want my opinion on that. I'm the first to admit I lack emotions like that. I haven't cried for anything but extreme physical pain since fifth grade. Not when I presented the flag to my grandmother at my grandfathers funeral. Not when I unloaded friends from a plane coming home for the last time.

I'm just telling you my opinion on the issue, by no means is it the right and or only way. I remember my dead friends and family in my own way, normally it's through laughter.


Ohh if the kid was drunk I don't feel bad for him. People the drink and drive deserve to get bent around a tree. Ohh but he was drunk he didn't know what he was doing. Guess what, sober him knew he was going to a party, if he didn't have the common sense to hand off his keys tough. In today's world everyone knows the risks about drinking and driving.


<--- Cold hearted when presented with acts of stupidity.


Put that way, I respect your opinion. I cried like a baby, and I have no shame in that. I can't imagine having to do what you did either. Everyone is different, and as long as a person deals with their grief in the best way for them, good for them. B

If he was drunk I also agree, people know what drinking does to you. Everytime I see those commercials showing clips of people (especially that girl who died literally a few hours after the video was taped) I can't believe people can see that and go out and get plastered without cab fare or a designated driver.

Yeah, life goes on. But it takes time to heal from loosing someone you love. You can't just move on in a week, or a month.

Sure you can. Try it some time.



So me breaking down at my mother's funeral and crying was for attention? Not because I couldn't breath and felt like I was dying inside?

I have no idea. But i'm sure it did you alot of good. so were you crying and not able to breath for a month? How productive was that month?

[Caiylania]

Originally posted by RangerD1

Yeah, life goes on. But it takes time to heal from loosing someone you love. You can't just move on in a week, or a month.

Sure you can. Try it some time.



So me breaking down at my mother's funeral and crying was for attention? Not because I couldn't breath and felt like I was dying inside?

I have no idea. But i'm sure it did you alot of good. so were you crying and not able to breath for a month? How productive was that month?


I have tried it, it was my mother, have you lost a parent? If you havn't , you have no right to utter a comment on the experience, if you have, then I am sorry, but everyone deals differently. Stop putting your method of greiving above others.

And um, I NEVER said I couldn't breath for a month, I said at her FUNERAL. But yes, it was an absolutely horrible time for me and who are you to make it sound like I wanted it to be that way?

[Ben]

http://www.salemfonden.info/engelsk.php

[ElvenRangeress]

I'm sorry you lost your mother dear, I can't even imagine how I would feel if I lost mine.

[AnticorRifling]

RangerD, we are trained different bro. We won't understand them and they'll never understand us.

Neither way is right or wrong but each will feel more strongly towards their way. Leave it at that.

[Caiylania]

Thankyou Elven Rangeress. I hope you don't experience this for a very long time.

Anticor, out of curiosity, what do you mean? I know Navy Seals that have grieved over the loss of a loved one, and they were men that would make level capped warriors in GS tremble.

[Edited on 11-10-2003 by Caiylania]

[Vesi]

I will repeat that everyone handles grief in a different manner. However, no one should claim their manner to be... for the lack of a another term... better than someone else's.

I lost my mother at a young age. Yes, it was devestating. The thought of losing my daughter... I can't even begin to think what I would be like. It is something I just don't think about. I do worry if she goes out with friends. Yes, they have all had the drinking and driving videos. They still do it. She knows to call me if someone she's with is drinking. However, she might not know if the person took something and all of a sudden while they are driving it takes effect. Or maybe it's a guy she likes and she doesn't want me to know. There are just too many 'what ifs'. Yes, I could drive her everywhere, but when you were a teenager did you want your parents around? It's tough to let her walk out that door and go off with someone. However, it's part of me letting go and letting her 'grow up'. For those of you that aren't parents you can't imagine how hard it is to not lock them in their room until they are 21. That is just because you want to know they are always safe. I know I used to drink and drive when I was younger. Stupid. I knew the risks and still did it. I would never do it now. When you are young... you think you are invincible. Anyway, enough rambling.

Sorry for your loss. I'm not sure why people are getting angry about you bringing it here. While not the venue I would have taken, you felt the need to post it here and I accept that.

I've definately had my 'not so nice' posts to Atheana. However, I don't think this should turn into another flame fest. Let it drop for once guys (the 'attention' thing) and just give her the benefit of the doubt.

Vesi

[StrayRogue]

Exactly Vesi. You are not bigger or smarter for not crying. Nor are we any less cold hearted and cruel if we don't cry. So stop being judgemental you fucking idiots. People do indeed die all the time. We as a populace contribute to it, just like we contribute to its rebirth. Grieve how you want to grieve, I have no problem with that. Don't turn around and call me a cruel bastard though or I will give you something to cry about.

[CrystalTears]

I feel for the family that lost their child. I'm sure it's rough for them and they have my sympathies.

As for the other stuff in here, I understand where everyone is coming from, even the guys. However we can't compare the loss of a friend to the loss of a mother or daughter. And I also do believe that you can't wallow in the misery for long because crying over a death is not going to bring them back.

I completely understand the feelings during a funeral, the sudden news, or when having a moment of silence. I haven't lost a family member yet and I don't like to think about it, however I have seen friends pass away. One of my coworkers, a wonderful woman, died this year from breast cancer. It was sad and we cried a bit, but we knew she was better off gone than suffering.

As a side note, longshot and anyone else taking shots at Atheana.. I won't stand it for anymore in this thread. It's unnecessary and it's really time to let it go and just see the post for what it is rather than who it is.

[AnticorRifling]

Originally posted by Caiylania
Thankyou Elven Rangeress. I hope you don't experience this for a very long time.

Anticor, out of curiosity, what do you mean? I know Navy Seals that have grieved over the loss of a loved one, and they were men that would make level capped warriors in GS tremble.

[Edited on 11-10-2003 by Caiylania]

We have a higher level of bearing, not every person that's been through it but most. I can forstall almost any emotion until I'm away from people it's just something I was trained to do.

Again this is why I come across as a cold hearted, shallow bastard. Crying I see as a weakness. But that's my opinion and not to be agreed upon by everyone/anyone.

When my mother dies I will not cry at the funeral. She did not raise a weak son and I will not disrespect her as such. My job is to be the shoulder on which others cry. I detach myself and I move on. I'm compassionate towards others and their feelings but I will never show personal hurt because I don't want to be an emotional burden on others.

Originally posted by Caiylania
Thankyou Elven Rangeress. I hope you don't experience this for a very long time.

Anticor, out of curiosity, what do you mean? I know Navy Seals that have grieved over the loss of a loved one, and they were men that would make level capped warriors in GS tremble.

[Edited on 11-10-2003 by Caiylania]

And i can guarantee that they weren't "unable to breath and felt like dying inside" while still conducting whatever mission it was they were doing, and i can guarantee that when it came time fo the next mission they had cleared their mind and were able to focus. There is nothing wrong with grieving for a loss, but above all else you have to move on and continue your life. Simple as that.

I know its hard to think of, but EVERYBODY dies. Everyone you love and cherish will be a cold lifeless body at one point. Make the best of it while you have it and make sure they (and yourself) are never forgotten.

[Edited on 11-10-2003 by RangerD1]

[ElvenRangeress]

I am NOT posting for attention, I am posting because life is a wonderful thing, and everything can be taken away in an instant, I am saying be careful, wear your seatbelts, and never take life for granted.

[Edited on 11-10-2003 by ElvenRangeress]

[StrayRogue]

Being able to "withstand death" has nothing to do with the military. I've met alot of army pussies before. I would say it perhaps prepares you, but nothing and no training will ever properly get you ready to face death with total mechanical coldness.

Originally posted by StrayRogue
Being able to "withstand death" has nothing to do with the military. I've met alot of army pussies before. I would say it perhaps prepares you, but nothing and no training will ever properly get you ready to face death with total mechanical coldness.

Nobody said it was allinclusive to the military. In fact i had this same attitude along time before i joined the military.

[Halfsilver]

<<nothing ... will ever properly get you ready to face death with total mechanical coldness. >>


Except, perhaps, insanity.

[Edited on 11-10-2003 by Halfsilver]

[AnticorRifling]

I'm not in the army.

[StrayRogue]

Marines, seals, whatever. As Ranger and Gray said, its usually a personal/up-bringing thing. But hey, none of us will ever know unless we are in that kind of situation right?

[Caiylania]

Originally posted by RangerD1

Originally posted by Caiylania
Thankyou Elven Rangeress. I hope you don't experience this for a very long time.

Anticor, out of curiosity, what do you mean? I know Navy Seals that have grieved over the loss of a loved one, and they were men that would make level capped warriors in GS tremble.

[Edited on 11-10-2003 by Caiylania]

And i can guarantee that they weren't "able to breath and felt like dying inside" while still conducting whatever mission it was they were doing, and i can guarantee that when it came time fo the next mission they had cleared their mind and were able to focus. There is nothing wrong with grieving for a loss, but above all else you have to move on and continue your life. Simple as that.

I know its hard to think of, but EVERYBODY dies. Everyone you love and cherish will be a cold lifeless body at one point. Make the best of it while you have it and make sure they (and yourself) are never forgotten.

Jeez, I never said I wasn't functioning. I have a child, she is MY mission. I took care of her, and was fine. I didn't mean these guys freaked out on missions. I mean when they could, they talked about it and yes, even cried.

I don't even know what you are talking about. Of course everyone has to move on, I just think you saying you have to do it in a month is out of left field.

Not moving on does NOT mean you can't cope, or that you are a wreak, or that you can't focus and live your life.

It could mean you still reach for the phone to call that person, that you still think "Oohhh I should tell him/her that". I functioned fine after a few weeks, but I haven't fully gotten 'over' her death yet.

But my life is moving on , I am happy, and I remember good times with her.

You don't know that they could or couldn't breath as I went through upon finding out, or during her funeral. For me, I couldn't hide it, they probably did. Doesn't mean they didn't go through it.

If you are saying you wouldn't let anyone see your grieve, then you also don't know what others haven't let you see.

Your last paragraph I fully agree with.

Originally posted by Caiylania

Originally posted by RangerD1

Originally posted by Caiylania
Thankyou Elven Rangeress. I hope you don't experience this for a very long time.

Anticor, out of curiosity, what do you mean? I know Navy Seals that have grieved over the loss of a loved one, and they were men that would make level capped warriors in GS tremble.

[Edited on 11-10-2003 by Caiylania]

And i can guarantee that they weren't "able to breath and felt like dying inside" while still conducting whatever mission it was they were doing, and i can guarantee that when it came time fo the next mission they had cleared their mind and were able to focus. There is nothing wrong with grieving for a loss, but above all else you have to move on and continue your life. Simple as that.

I know its hard to think of, but EVERYBODY dies. Everyone you love and cherish will be a cold lifeless body at one point. Make the best of it while you have it and make sure they (and yourself) are never forgotten.

Jeez, I never said I wasn't functioning. I have a child, she is MY mission. I took care of her, and was fine. I didn't mean these guys freaked out on missions. I mean when they could, they talked about it and yes, even cried.

I don't even know what you are talking about. Of course everyone has to move on, I just think you saying you have to do it in a month is out of left field.

Not moving on does NOT mean you can't cope, or that you are a wreak, or that you can't focus and live your life.

It could mean you still reach for the phone to call that person, that you still think "Oohhh I should tell him/her that". I functioned fine after a few weeks, but I haven't fully gotten 'over' her death yet.

But my life is moving on , I am happy, and I remember good times with her.

You don't know that they could or couldn't breath as I went through upon finding out, or during her funeral. For me, I couldn't hide it, they probably did. Doesn't mean they didn't go through it.

If you are saying you wouldn't let anyone see your grieve, then you also don't know what others haven't let you see.

Your last paragraph I fully agree with.

I don't greive death. I see it as a continum of life.

Lets just rehash some of your comments. You said that it can take more than a moth to "recover" You also said that you couldn't breath and you felt like dying. So why wouldn't i link the two? especially when i have seen people who act like that months after somebody dies.

[Caiylania]

Originally posted by RangerD1
I don't greive death. I see it as a continum of life.

Lets just rehash some of your comments. You said that it can take more than a moth to "recover" You also said that you couldn't breath and you felt like dying. So why wouldn't i link the two? especially when i have seen people who act like that months after somebody dies.

Recover has different meanings... stages... We feel differently on the issue. Neither is wrong, everyone deals differently. I just feel you shouldn't appear to look down on those who do not grieve as quickly as you seem to think they should.

People also grieve for different reasons, or harder for different reasons. Let's just agree to drop it, I doubt we will, as Anticor said, understand each other.

I do hope for you though, that you don't loose people you love anytime soon. I hope that for everyone.

[StrayRogue]

Originally posted by Caiylania
We feel differently on the issue. Neither is wrong

I think thats the main thing in this little discussion.

[Edited on 10-11-03 by StrayRogue]

I believe i said get over it.

I don't care if you grieve outwardly or not. Somebody whos crying all the time is just as bad as somebody who doesn't show it but has a noticably different demeanor and attitude to everything.

[Tendarian]

My grandma died when i was younger and i spent a lot of time with her. I was the only one who cried at her funeral and felt so humiliated i wouldnt dream of doin that again. I think thats part of why more of the guys are dealing with the pain in private.

[GSLeloo]

I never really had anyone die around me. The only person was my father's cousin and he was a drug addict and a drunk that I never met so it didn't matter to me if he lived or died.

[JustMe]

After losing so many friends, my father, two grandfathers and a grandmother, there becomes a point in life where some people are almost numb to the loss of a loved one or friend.

Through time you learn to handle loss accordingly and crying no longer seems like an option. I'll admit, I cry sometimes still, but not for attention, and I don't let it last long.

[GSLeloo]

I think you just reach the point where you realize we are all going to die. From the moment we are born we are going to die and that's something we have to accept... you can't fear the inevitable, just hope you have a good life in the time you're given.

[ElvenRangeress]

Last night, they finally told his girlfriend, Liani that he really was dead. She went into shock and they had to put her on life support. I'm pretty sure a lot of people heard about it by now. I wonder how she's doing. Some people think they should have just told her in the beginning..and others think they should have waited till she got better. Also, some think she would have found out on her own if they didnt end up telling her. We really can't tell now.

[Jenisi]

Life support from shock over a death?

[ElvenRangeress]

She was involved in the accident as well, and was half-dead when they brought her into the hospital.

[Edited on 11-11-2003 by ElvenRangeress]

[Ben]

Didn't you leave the boards?