Toys for Tots...Not

[Tisket]

With Christmas around the corner it seemed apropros to look back at the Top Ten most dangerous toys of the past:

http://www.radarmagazine.com/features/2006/12/toys.php

The descriptions are hilarious.

Lawn darts:


Removable parts? Suffocation risk? Lead paint? Pussy hazards compared to the granddaddy of them all. Lawn Darts, or "Jarts," as they were marketed, would never fly in our current ultra-paranoid, safety-helmeted, Dr. Phil toy culture. Lawn darts were massive weighted spears. You threw them. They stuck where they landed. If they happened to land in your skull, well, then you should have moved.

[Asha]

''Among the banned EZ products were Hangouts Baby Hammocks, or "Baby's First Death Cocoon"
:lol:

[Asha]

''In 2000, the CPSC announced that over 150 children fell prey to Sky Dancer's helicopter-blade arms and erratic "Oh-Jesus-it's-chasing-me!" flying patterns.''

Was calling in sick while reading that and laughed out loud, mid call.

[Tisket]

Anyone remember these: http://www.smartleker.no/db/bilder/x0210200528387.jpg

Good times...when you could avoid knocking a tooth out.

[Tisket]

btw Nevermind, that three legged dog in your avatar seems so much sadder in yellow sepia.

[Asha]

Genious isn't it. :)

[Skirmisher]

Yeah, we had lawn darts heh.

[DCSL]

Heh, I remember that dog. It was on the cover of the Alice in Chains album Grind. Mmm, many good songs on there.

As a kid, I would have killed for that nuclear lab set. I was a stupid child, really.

[Aaysia]

I would have loved that cabbage patch doll when I was younger. I didn't get the snacktime one, but that was one of the first dolls I *remember* getting when I was a kid. Ah... good times.

[Jazuela]

I had a set of clackers, they were awesome. I even got pretty good at them eventually. RIGHT when they took them off the shelves because tiny bubbles in their manufacture caused them to explode if hit in just the wrong way.

[Gan]

I had lawn darts. Those were way cool to see how high you could throuw them. Just remember not to throw them straight up, or try to catch them.

You ought to see what a big water baloon slingshot will turn those lawn darts into. :spaz:

[Sean of the Thread]

Lol hilarious write ups.

[Skeeter]

I played with lawn darts for years. no deaths or dismemberments. :(

[Goretawn]

"A spokesperson from the CPSC explained that "the barrel shape of the toy seemed to invite children to put it in their mouths." Something you could apparently say in 1979 without too much snickering."

LOL

I had lawn darts. Used to throw them at my brother too. Funny how all the best times are ruined by the cry babies.

[Goretawn]

Anyone remember these: http://www.smartleker.no/db/bilder/x0210200528387.jpg

Good times...when you could avoid knocking a tooth out.

And yes, I do remember those.

[zhelas]

What I didn't see were the toy guns that shot hard 1 inch diameter hard plastic disks. I used to shoot those all the time at the kid next door until I gave him a welt under his left eye. Then I recieved a welt on my butt by my folks.

[Gan]

Anyone remember these: http://www.smartleker.no/db/bilder/x0210200528387.jpg

Good times...when you could avoid knocking a tooth out.

I had a set, they were called clackers. I had welts and bruises on my wrist/forearms for weeks perfecting the techinque to make noise loud enough to annoy my parents. Then they mysteriously disappeared. :(

[Goretawn]

What I didn't see were the toy guns that shot hard 1 inch diameter hard plastic disks. I used to shoot those all the time at the kid next door until I gave him a welt under his left eye. Then I recieved a welt on my butt by my folks.

Disk guns rocked. I have to look around and see if they still have them around. My kids would love them!

[Skeeter]

I still have one. I used to use it to terrorize my coworkers.

Now that I'm the boss it oddly doesn't seem as appropriate.

[Shari]

The write up for a lot of these was funny, but highly over exaggerated.



Kids are creative, they're going to come up with outrageous ways to make toys more...fun. That usually includes an outside element, usually that of fear to up the enjoyment factor.

Favorite after-school pasttime: building huge Lego castles and filling them with firecrackers in the backyard, and running like hell as they exploded over the back yard.

Aftermath of explaining to your father WHY there were partially melted and burned Legos in the pool filter was always fun.



And let us not forget.

Kerosene: Free from one of mom's hurricane lamps.

Balsa wood airplane: $1.00

Fishing line: Free from family tackle box.


Watching your brother string fishing line across the pool with kerosene-soaked balsa wood airplane and then lighting it and sliding it down fishing line, only to get it stuck as it heats up thus causing fishing line to melt, plane crashing in pool, and pool lighting on fire from oily kerosene:

PRICELESS.

[Stanley Burrell]

Damn.

They weren't kidding about the whole banned in the U.S.A. business.

Extensive eBay-ing (two and half minutes) only pops up a couple quasi, semi and hemi-funny T-shirts as search results. Non-remote linkable. Sry :-[

[Gan]

Damn.

They weren't kidding about the whole banned in the U.S.A. business.

Extensive eBay-ing (two and half minutes) only pops up a couple quasi, semi and hemi-funny T-shirts as search results. Non-remote linkable. Sry :-[

Yep, no ebay for lawndarts. The only source now is discovering an old set in a garage sale.

[Goretawn]

And let us not forget.

Kerosene: Free from one of mom's hurricane lamps.

Balsa wood airplane: $1.00

Fishing line: Free from family tackle box.


Watching your brother string fishing line across the pool with kerosene-soaked balsa wood airplane and then lighting it and sliding it down fishing line, only to get it stuck as it heats up thus causing fishing line to melt, plane crashing in pool, and pool lighting on fire from oily kerosene:

PRICELESS.

Now that IS priceless. Kind of like the Cuhahoga River going up in flames, what, a decade ago? Brings back memories of home.

We used to take models that we built and put fire crackers in em. Hot wheels too. I cringe to think of all the red wheels we messed up.

Good times, good times.

[Skirmisher]

I played with lawn darts for years. no deaths or dismemberments. :(

Yes, but you DID always have to be careful when playing with a noob as unlike most games if they threw wrong and released almost when going straight up you had to be prepared to scatter like roaches.

I also remember being aware of that danger for that exact reason and so had fun while using a bit of caution but also enjoying the fact that it was always potentially dangerous.

Then mom locked it up when the lawsuits started and finally threw it all away years later. :(

[Sean]

Man skrim even had shitty toys as a kid

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

How the fuck could anyone hurt themselves with a Sky Dancer?

I used to launch it point-blank at my brother's face to piss him off, haha. And that's pretty much all it did.. piss him off.

[Skeeter]

spinning arms of death. duh.

[Tsa`ah]

How the fuck could anyone hurt themselves with a Sky Dancer?

I used to launch it point-blank at my brother's face to piss him off, haha. And that's pretty much all it did.. piss him off.

The answer is time. Over time the wings hardened and became rigid ... thus the hazard.

I'm surprised water rocket launchers didn't make the list. Nothing like 400psi of water pressure to send a hard rocket shaped chunk of plastic into an uncontrolled launch.

I actually had a few of those ... the derringer was my favorite. We discovered it in our grandparent's attic with a cache of other harmful toys left over from our dad's and uncle's childhood.

It was the "I win" button of cops and robbers. Push out your gut and instant nut shot to your older brother. We're not talking disk gun or suction cup gun velocity, we're talking "can break a 12 oz glass coke bottle at 5 ft" type velocity. The only shame is that we lost the "cork" eventually ... thank god for bb guns.