Rest in Peace Toska

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

In December of 1990 I adopted an 8 week old black lab/basset hound mix puppy. In the past two weeks her body had given up on her, her hind legs had started to degrade and she had a very hard time standing up. In the past 3 days she'd gotten worse, so bad that I had to carry her outside down the two steps of my deck so that she could go to the bathroom. 16 years is a long time for a labrador. Today at 445 I had her put to rest at the veterinarian.

I love her with all my heart, and I miss her. I just lost my best companion.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y216/imagedream/Dogs/Toska2003.jpg

[Sean of the Thread]

RIP Toska

[DeV]

My beloved runty black lab lived a full 15 years and I still miss her to this day.

RIP to your old girl.

[AestheticDeath]

Sorry to hear it. This is the reason I no longer have pets.

[Tisket]

No matter how appropriate the decision was it's pretty rough having a pet put down. Sorry dude.

[Ilvane]

:( I'm so sorry.

Having to put a pet down is the hardest decision.

Angela

P.S. seeing that face makes me want to cry.:( Bleh..poor SHM. :hugs:

[Back]

Condolences. Having had to lose a pet companion also I can’t bring myself to get another. Its rough.

[HarmNone]

I'm really sorry, SHM. I know how it feels. It's so hard to say goodbye to a dear companion of so many years. A candle is lit for Tosca's journey to the Rainbow Bridge, and to heal the ache in your heart. :(

[Sean of the Thread]

Just curious what is a journey to rainbow bridge and does it involve acid?

[Jazuela]

Awww..I saw your pooch's face and now I'm all teary-eyed...

I had to put my 2 cats down, one a month after the other, at the ripe old ages of 17 and 18, respectively. I held Frenchie in my arms for the last time while they gave her a shot to make her sleep. It cost more, but I insisted that she be totally oblivious when they give her the "death shot." So she got a sleep shot first. And I thought - no way can I do this again.

The vet brought a kitten upstairs from their kennel, just as they were taking Frenchie out of my arms. And -

I brought Sinchilla home a half hour later. I still miss Frenchie and Isis (the tortie I put down a month before that) like crazy and get misty-eyed when I look at their pictures. But Sinchi is awesome, looks a little like Isis, behaves a little like Frenchie, but has her own way of running the household and I don't regret it for a moment. Even knowing that I will probably outlive her too.

[Stanley Burrell]

I'm glad you managed to have spent so many years spent with her. Your being mature enough to make the absolutely mature decision to end her suffering speaks volumes. I have seen some truly depressing end results of owners who were too hesitant to know when it was time to make the final decision. And it's good that you did the right thing at the right time.

Sorry about your loss dude :(

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

Thank you for the kind words everyone. The one constant in my adult life has been Toska. 4 states, 3 jobs, 16 years, and never once did she get in trouble or misbehave. She could run free of her leash, but she was always watching me, and all I had to do was whistle and she'd come running.

I know she is in a better spot now, I believe dogs have souls and she's running through a field chasing rabbits right now. I just wish my ache would go away -- she used to comfort me when I was down, and now that she's gone I don't know what to do.

I miss you Toska, like part of myself is gone.

WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME
Author Unknown


When tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see;
The sun will rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me.

I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
Remembering how I'd lay my head
In your lap that special way.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.


But when tomorrow starts without me.
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name
And petted me with her hand.
She said my place was ready,
In Heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.


But, as I turned to heel away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life I never thought
That I would have to die.
I had so much to live for,
So many sits and downs to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.


I thought about our lives together,
I know you must be sad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.


Remember how I'd nudge your hand,
And poke you with my nose?
The frisbee I would gladly chase,
The bad guy, I'd "bark and hold".


If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for awhile,
I'd wag my tail and kiss you,
Just so I could see you smile.


But, then I fully realized,
That this could never be;
For emptiness and memories
Will take the place of me.
And when I thought of treats and toys,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you and when I did,
My dog-heart filled with sorrow.


But then I walked through Heaven's gate,
And felt so much at home;
As God looked down and smiled at me,
From His beautiful golden throne.
He said, "This is eternity,
And now we welcome you,
Today your life on earth is past,
But here it starts anew.


I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last;
For you see, each days's the same day,
There's no longing for the past.
Now you have been so faithful,
So trusting, loyal and true;
Though there were times you did things,
You knew you shouldn't do.


But good dogs are forgiven,
And now at last you're free;
So won't you sit here by my side,
And wait right here with me?"
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart.
For every time you think of me,
I'm right there, in your heart.

[Kriztian]

Condolences...from one lab connosieur to another. I've never owned anything but labs and I've been there - more than once. Here's to your next lucky pup.

[Aaysia]

:(

I'm so sorry for your loss SHM. Losing a beloved pet is always hard. I still miss the first dog I ever had, his name was Scotch. We got him when I was about 6 months old. My mother had to put him down when I was 15. While I understood the reasoning for it, I still refused to talk to her for about a week for killing my best friend. There's a picture of my dog Boots on my myspace as well, we lost him to cancer a couple years ago =/.

Toska was a beautiful dog. I'm sure you'll have very fond memories of her to look back on in the future. RIP Toska.

[Miss X]

Aww hon, those words made me all teary. I know how hard this is for you, but hang in there sweets. Just give yourself time to grieve. <33333

[Ilvane]

:( SHM biggest hugs to you sweetie. It's obvious she was your companion. You can't compare that kind of kinship.

My cat Mystic was like that to me too. She ran outside by accident one night and had her hind paws hit by a car. I came to the car the next morning and she was sitting at my door mewling. If there had been anyway for me to save her life, I would have, but we had to make the choice to put her down because her back legs were crushed and there was even organ damage. I loved that animal so much because she had got me through some real hard times, and was great comfort.

I know you can't compare all the time, because no situation is the same, but I feel for you sweetie, and take care.

Toska, RIP

Angela

[ElanthianSiren]

I'm sorry for your loss, SHM. I'm sure you did the right thing. As pet owners, sometimes we have to distribute mercy, even when we really don't want to.


The rainbow bridge, Sean, is sort of like a gate to animal heaven. There's a site online about it.


-M

[Asha]

I'm glad to hear she had an owner who thought so much of her and saw her as a companion more than a pet.
Condolences, man. You're especially lucky to have had eachother while you did.

[thornhappy]

I'm sorry honey. Hugs.

[Keller]

Suck it up. Life goes on.

:(

[Hulkein]

Sorry to hear SHM. That is the only bad part about having a dog for a long time, they just grow so close.

[xtc]

So sorry to hear.

[Augie]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss hon. I found the poem of the Rainbow Bridge and wanted to share:

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

[Ilvane]

:( Aww..again.

[Atlanteax]

Very sorry to hear, SHM.

The ache is harsh, indeed.

[hgsouth]

I'm so sorry :(

I've been lurking on these boards here and there, and only recently have begun to post, but I just wanted to give you my thoughts.

Last Tuesday my family had to put down our beloved Corgi named Belle. As an only child she was the closest thing I had to a sibling. She got terminal cancer and was beyond help so we were forced to make "that" decision.

I know in my heart I will see her again when I get to heaven, but it's the hardest thing in the world :(

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

So she's been gone for a month now, and I still miss her terribly. It's bad enough it's affecting my work life negatively. I figure this is as good a place as any to ask; does anyone know of a help group or whatever to deal with grief.

Some perspective for anyone that cares, I've never lost a close family member, they all passed when I was too young or before I was born. I've put dogs to sleep before, but Toska was with me since I was 20, and it was different when she died. I don't know how else to explain it.

Anyway, I wouldn't say I'm an overly emotional guy, and it's really disconcerting to me how badly it's affecting me. I think my friends have me on "suicide watch" even though I've told them all I'm sad, not suicidal. I think there's a clear distinction. So, any help is appreciated.

thanks

[RichardCranium]

I can't offer you any help I don't think, but I'll remember you in my prayers tonight.

[Sean of the Thread]

Damn dude way to bump the sadness up. :(

[Tisket]

This was a significant loss. Did you really expect that a month elapsing would be enough time to get over it? Be a little more patient with yourself for christ's sake. It'll get easier bud.

Also, sometimes a new pup helps although some people absolutely won't even consider it after a pet loss. Might go hold a puppy at your local shelter just to get a feel for whether that might help comfort you. Everyones different.

[AestheticDeath]

Yeah, only thing to do is try and fill the void. Get your mind off the other dog by replacing it with a new one, something to take care of and whatnot.

Won't be the same, but if you can find another pet you like, it will tend to help you cope.

[Ignot]

Yeah, and don't be so hard on yourself. It is perfectly okay to still be sad at this point. One month is not along time. I think that losing a dog is just as hard if not worse then losing a family member (unless it is your own child).

Getting a new puppy is very helpful but just make sure your ready for that step.

Alot of us know what your going through and we know how hard it can be. hang in there.

:(

[Augie]

I can totally understand how you're feeling hon. It's never easy to lose someone close to you, and losing a pet is just as hard as losing a person because they become part of your family.

You can always start by checking with your veterinarian to see if they know of any type of pet loss grief support groups.

There's also a website out there called "The Association For Pet Loss and Bereavement. The address is http://www.aplb.org/. You may be able to find some helpful information there. There are chat rooms, links to counselors by state, and lots of other good info.

And as others said, though no one can replace Toska, sometimes filling the void with another pet can help. You're in my thoughts and if you need to talk, toss me an IM. I've been through this all too often with friends and family members, so I know a lot about the grieving process.

[Celephais]

One month is not along time.

Aww, you should have said "It takes a while!"

Anyway I had a pretty sad pet loss when I was 17 (had the cat since I was an infant, and the cat would follow me around, wait in the window around the time I got home from school to meet me, dogesq in those respects) and it took me a long time for it not to be a constant sadness. I didn't get a replacement (couldn't bring myself to do that) but having something else to help with the emotional burden is pretty useful (might I suggest a sympathetic girl)

[Soulpieced]

Go find some other puppies to look at. I know people will say replacement just isn't the same, but you should look into getting a new friend.

[zhelas]

Dogs Don't Have Souls, Do They?

I remember bringing you home. You were so small and cuddly with your tiny paws and soft fur.
You bounced around the room with eyes flashing and ears flopping.
Once in a while, you'd let out a little yelp just to let me know this was your territory.
Making a mess of the house and chewing on everything in sight became a passion, and when I scolded you, you just put your head down and looked up at me with those innocent eyes, as if to say, "I'm sorry, but I'll do it again as soon as you're not watching."
As you got older, you protected me by looking out the window and barking at everyone who walked by.
When I had a tough day at work, you would be waiting for me with your tail wagging just to say, "Welcome home. I missed you. "You never had a bad day, and I could always count on you to be there for me.
When I sat down to read the paper and watch TV, you would hop on my lap, looking for attention. You never asked for anything more than for me to pat your head so you could go to sleep with your head over my leg.
As you got older, you moved around more slowly. Then, one day, old age finally took its toll, and you couldn't stand on those wobbly legs anymore. I knelt down and patted you lying there, trying to make you young again. You just looked up at me as if to say you were old and tired and that after all these years of not asking for anything, you had to ask me for one last favor. With tears in my eyes, I drove you one last time to the vet. One last time, you were lying next to me.
For some strange reason, you were able to stand up in the animal hospital, perhaps it was your sense of pride.
As the vet led you away, you stopped for an instant, turned your head and looked at me as if to say, "Thank you for taking care of me.

I thought, "No... thank you for taking care of me."

By Chuck Wells

Peace

Zhelas

[Ilvane]

:(

Such a great little piece of writing.

Angela

[Kelcie]

I watched my cat deteriorate... He was my best friend, he even went places with me. He loved car rides and I often to this day get into the car and glance at the seat where he should be sitting, and It's been 16 years since. His name was George, he was the sweetest, most perfect pet in the world. I'm mostly sad that my daughter never got to know him.

I'll take a second to remind everyone to have your cat vaccinated for feline lukemia. Watching him deteriorate so rapidly, and then making the decision to have him put to sleep was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.

SHM, It will take a long time, and you will never completley get over it. All you can do is remember the time you had and give a little smile as you do. Don't think of it as a tragedy, but a new beginning.

I have a new cat now, she reminds me of him in so many ways and it's actually comforting because I feel that he might have actually come back to me. Funny thing is... I got her in the same way I got my little curious George.

[HarmNone]

I feel your pain, SHM. It's so hard to lose someone you love. :(

If I were you, I think I might head for the nearest animal shelter. Take a look around and find the pet that "finds" you. You'll know him/her when you see 'em. You can never replace the one you loved so very much, but you can do something good for another who needs love. I think Tosca would be pleased. :)