I hate this year

[Nieninque]

I dont normally post much about my life on the internet, never felt the need before.

Anyway, this year has been shit for a number of different reasons before now but really hit rock bottom for me on Sunday.

We had a football match against the team at the bottom of the league on Sunday, and for some reason I just felt wierd all morning...like something wasnt right. With it being remembrance weekend (which I guess is similar to your memorial weekend) we had 2 minutes silence before the match. Leading up to that 2 minute silence, some of the girls were saying stuff like "I dont know if I can keep from talking for two minutes" and "I will need to look at the floor to make sure I dont look at someone and start laughing".

Coming from an Army family, I kinda respect remembrance day so just told them to think about the people who had died so they could play football on a Sunday afternoon.

Anyway, I felt kinda gloomy all sunday. Wasnt really sure why.

When I got home I found out that 4 hours prior to the conversation about the 2 minute silence, my sister had been killed in Basra.

Apparently she was on a patrol boat that was hit with some make-shift explosive device. It hasnt really hit home for me until now seeing these:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6141836.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6146844.stm

[Hips]

Having dealt with the death of a sibling and knowing what a painful experience it can be, my heart goes out to you. This may sound trite, but you and your family have my sympathies with going through this, especially with the upcoming holidays.

[Miss X]

Oh hon, I'm so sorry. I was just listening to something about it on the radio. It sounds like she was an amazing woman, which I know is no comfort. You'll be in my thoughts.

[Shari]

God I'm so sorry. If you want to talk you know where to find me.

-Shari

[Artha]

I'm so terribly sorry.

[Back]

Condolences. Thats horrible news.

[zhelas]

:sad:

That is horrible news. I am so sorry.

Peace

[HarmNone]

I'm so sorry for your loss. There are no words. :(

[Augie]

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss :( I know there is nothing I can say to make it better, but you are in my thoughts.

[Tromp]

THE FALLEN SOLDIER
by Patricia Krull

Don't weep for me
O' land of the free,
When it was my time to fall
'Twas for my country's call
'Twas for the land that I loved
That I gave my all,
And for the land that I loved
I did freely give,
And in her freedom and her
courage
I'll continue to live.

My sincere condolences to you and your family

[Ilvane]

My God.:(

I am so sorry for your sisters passing. Much love and sympathy to you and your family.

Angela

[Beguiler]

I'm so sorry. You'll be in my thoughts.

When my mother passed, I found this of some comfort...

Parable of immortality

I am standing by the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze
and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength,
and I stand and watch
until at last she hangs like a peck of white cloud
just where the sun and sky come down to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says, 'There she goes!
Gone where? Gone from my sight - that is all.

She is just as large in mast and hull and spar
as she was when she left my side
and just as able to bear her load of living freight
to the places of destination.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

And just at the moment when someone at my side says,
'There she goes! ' ,
there are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout :
'Here she comes!'

by Henry Van Dyke - 1852 - 1933

[DeV]

I'm so sorry for your loss Nien.

[Skirmisher]

I am moved to tears at your families loss.

People will give you advice, but in the end you have to grieve as best helps you.

My deepest most heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

[Asha]

I'm so sorry for you. I tried to write something better than that, but you're strong as all hell (fiercly so, and I admire that so much) so you'll get through this with your family.
My thoughts will cirtainly be with you all.

[Tisket]

How fucking tragic. My condolences.

[Snapp]

So, so sorry, Nien. You're in my thoughts.

[Hulkein]

Very sorry to hear about that, Nien. :( I'll keep her and you and your family in my prayers.

[xtc]

My deepest sympathies and condolences. Like Hulkien I will pray for you all.

[Me]

Sweetie you know how to get in touch if you need someone to vent. Know that she lives in you and is watching out for you and will always a part of everything you do.

Hugs

LF

[Goretawn]

My heart cries for your loss.

[Sean of the Thread]

My freshly cut wrists flow a river of mournful grief only matched by the great dark river styx.. my thoughts and Christian prayers are with you.

[Stanley Burrell]

That's fucking ridiculous. A veteran family member of mine died almost two weeks ago, although not of this insane caliber.

I am sorry for your loss. Let your background and who you are as a person keep you strong in this time. Please be as well, relatively, as you can.

Stay strong.

[Nieninque]

OK I just got back from my mum's today, having had the funeral on friday, a day of chilling and then a church service and burying the casket of my sister's ashes today.

I dont suppose there is anyone that actually enjoys going to funerals (unless there really are funeral crashers),. so it is fairly redundant to say that it was a shitty thing to have to go to, however, given the fact that we all die at some time, this was the way to mark someone's passing.

Funeral with full military honours (6 gun salute, bagpipes, union flag, medals, etc) around 400 people turned up...absolutely amazing. Couldnt have hoped for a better day, given the circumstances.

Saturday was pretty much spent trying to get our heads together and then this morning, we had a private ceremony of burying the casket of ashes. Now, Im not particularly religious and I have always been of the opinion that a corpse is the shell of the person that once inhabited it, so have never been too moved about the whole coffin going into the crem, part. But shit, when that little casket of ashes went into the ground, it tore me in half. I guess that was the closure part, but it was, for me, the hardest part to deal with of the whole thing.

Shit, I miss her.

[Sean of the Thread]

Suck it up. Life goes on.

[Hulkein]

You're an asshole.

[Jolena]

Suck it up. Life goes on.


Holy shit. Go rain on someone else's parade, why don't you. This truly is an inappropriate comment to make to someone who just lost their sister. Its not as if she was letting it ruin her life and crying out in an emo-like fashion 30 years later. it JUST happened, you ass.

[sst]

I tried to think of some soothing thing to write but nothing said will make much of a difference IMO.
I've lost friends, and I know how hard that is to deal with, I cant imagine the amount of pain from losing a family member. Just know that I and everyone feels for you and your loss.

[Nieninque]

Holy shit. Go rain on someone else's parade, why don't you. This truly is an inappropriate comment to make to someone who just lost their sister. Its not as if she was letting it ruin her life and crying out in an emo-like fashion 30 years later. it JUST happened, you ass.

Chill, it's Xyelin. It's not like I have ever taken any notice of anything he wrote before that. I'm certainly not going to start now.

[Nieninque]

On another note, thank you to the people who passed on positive messages.

[Sean of the Thread]

I was being positive you just took it negatively. Suck it up. You're never gonna hear me bash a military family or death and I say from experience you just gotta suck it up.

[Nieninque]

So one year on. Remembrance day. Was always going to be a hard day to get through.

I had a football match this afternoon. Felt a little numb, to be honest. We had a two minute silence before the game as a mark of respect for the fallen servicemen and women and as soon as the whistle went to mark the start of the two minutes I fell to pieces.

Funny aint it? You think you can deal with something and that it's all dealt with and something comes up and kicks your feet out from under you. It will all be fine. As Sean says (albeit un-eloquently) it's something that you cant help but get on with. Sometimes it's harder than others though.

[Sean of the Thread]

<3

[Nieninque]

So they had the inquest into the deaths of my sister and her three colleagues on Monday and Tuesday.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,,2214218,00.html

A snippet:


Four killed unlawfully in 'preventable' Iraq terror attack, coroner rules


James Orr and agencies
Tuesday November 20, 2007
Guardian Unlimited

The deaths of four British military personnel were unlawfully killed in Iraq when insurgents blew up their boat with a remote-controlled bomb, a coroner ruled today.

The four died on the Shatt al-Arab River on November 12 last year when explosive mounted on a bridge was detonated as the boat passed underneath.

An inquest in Oxford today heard how the deaths could have been avoided if the Royal Marines' boat had been equipped with an electronic counter-measure (ECM) device, which prevents bombs being detonated.

Article continues
An inquiry found there had been enough of the devices available at the time.

The inquest also heard that the bridge where the bomb was planted had not been searched before the boat passed underneath - an omission which the coroner, Andrew Walker, highlighted as a "serious failure to follow basic procedure."

Walker, recording verdicts of unlawful killing, said: "This was an entirely avoidable incident if the basic principles (of military training) had been followed.

"A vulnerable point (in this case the bridge) should not be crossed unless a search of the point has been carried out."

[Sean of the Thread]

Ouch bad news.

[Nieninque]

There will be an inquiry now, as to why those things didnt happen, but as far as the bridge not being searched by ground troops, we have a bit of a theory.

My sister arrived in Basra just as there was a handover between the regiments who were there. I'm not sure who was leaving, but the Royal Marines were taking over. The patrol that was hit by the bomb was also the first patrol they did.

We think that the Royal Marines, thinking themselves the experts, decided that they would cowboy it up a little and "show the others how it's done" not doing the stuff that they should have done first, and missing out on discovering the bomb.

Pretty stupid stuff. It's only a theory, but there may be a fair amount of truth in it.

[Nieninque]

Bumping this for Sharron.

3 Years on and it still hurts.

RIP sis.

[BriarFox]

Bumping this for Sharron.

3 Years on and it still hurts.

RIP sis.

Sorry, man. Nothing can make it better, but there are people who feel for you.

[Sean of the Thread]

Damn three years already.

Sorry for your loss again.

[4a6c1]

Sorry Nein, for your loss. Your sister is a hero. I hope something good comes of the day for you.