Mundane Relationships Endangered by Elanthia?

[HarmNone]

Once again, a conversation in another thread brought a thought to mind...

Is it, or is it not, a good idea for those who are involved in a real-world relationship to try to parlay that into an in-game relationship? What strains does it put on each partner? What happens if the couple get into a disagreement in-game, or out of game? Does it, necessarily, have impact on them in the other sphere?

I have known a very few who made it work. What about you?

HarmNone is pondering again. Watch out! :o

[Kurili]

I know several couples who both play, and it seems fine. However they are all living in the same household too. Distance could be a very big difference.

(edited to add) Most of these couples have an in-game relationship, some dont.

Acolyte Kurili

[Edited on 11-4-2003 by Kurili]

[Halfsilver]

You know 'theana and I.

It works fine for us.

:D

We do, however, live together. So that might make a difference, as well.

[Edited on 11-4-2003 by Halfsilver]

[Vixen]

Both my husband and I play GS... but one of our biggest rules is that we have never ever tried a GS relationship, and wont. We never dated in the game before we married.. even though GS was a big part of how we met. Besides which before we met, our characters had a very estblished roleplay with each other that would be stupid to break just for that.

Call me crazy... but real life relationships are hard enough, and sometimes despite roleplay, your real life mood can and does filter into GS life. Why would I wanna fight with my husband in both places, no thanks!

My 2 cents

[Halfsilver]

Atheana and I feel the same way about IG relationships, Daina.

I am unwilling to let her character be with someone else, even if it is just IG.

We both agree on this, and therefore, All of our characters are either together, or not with anyone.

-grays/d

[CrystalTears]

My fiance and I have never had an in game relationship.

I won't lie and say that I didn't consider it when we were contemplating a real relationship and I wanted to spend time with him. I really missed him and it was when we both played a lot so speaking in IMs was difficult since there would be gaps inbetween answers. I was anxious to be with him. The game was my fantasy and he was my fantasy too. Even then he knew that it would be a bad idea. Our characters would hang out, hunt and roleplay together, but that's about it.

Once I moved in with him, the situation changed. I had him to myself. We were together in real life. I no longer had a fantasy with him because I was living it. The game was always an escape for me to live a life I never will. Once he was in my real life, there was no need to have him in my fantasy one. I was then able to let her explore and live out her fantasy life.

Relationships are hard enough as it is. To try and implement that into an online fantasy game doesn't appeal to me, not with someone I already have a relationship with. Why tempt yourself with jealousy issues for a game when there is no need for it in real life? As long as you have a healthy, real relationship, what difference does it make to what your imaginary, two-dimensional character does? Why would you want to add more stress to your life over things that aren't real? It's not healthy by any means.

I suppose it all comes down to what the couple agrees to. If both want to live their fantasy lives on their own, that's their right. Just as real couples who only want to experience any kind of relationship with strictly each other is their right. I just feel you're depriving yourself of truly experiencing a rich environment by limiting what your character can do and with whom. I respect, however, who and how people choose to roleplay, I just don't mix well, I've noticed, with couples who insist on roleplaying together. I don't need a jealous wife getting upset with me over a game smooch. :D

[Edited on 11/5/2003 by CrystalTears]

[Weedmage Princess]

Both my husband and I do play...we have a couple of characters that are together..our main characters however, aren't. I went from thinking having our characters together would be overkill....to wanting our characters together...back to not wanting them together...back to wanting them together...in a very short period of time.

I don't know how "good or bad" having your characters together because you're together in real life would be. I don't think it necessarily is either, just more of a choice of the two people involved. If you're cool not being together in the game, that's fine....if you rather you be together both in game and IRL, that's cool, too. Whatever floats your boat, I say.

[GuildRat]

OK, here's a guy posting to this (shaddup Edaarin),

I met my RL girlfriend in the Rogue's Guild about 2 years ago and believe me it was NOT love at first sight for her. I mean, here I am, being my normal slave driving Guildmaster self and screaming at people to get to work , when this new rogue walks in and gets a task. I immediately set on her (wouldn't have mattered if it was a a guy) and she fires back a line of sass that just about made me pee my pants laughing... of course I stared at her...to which she replied....::stare::.

For a couple of weeks she'd come in and we'd have staring contests in the guild, and it became an odd mating ritual I suppose, because I found myself wanting to walk around the lands with her and help with her guild skills when I could.

Then, one night, walking around hill trolls, we sat down and talked seriously about our in-game releationship. It was pretty cool, we'd start slow and let things progress/digress naturally.

Though her rogue hadn't been her main character before this, she starting playing her more and trying to catch up with me in trains and guild skills.

We chatted through IM's and nightly phone calls became the norm. Heh, we'd talk until my cell phone charge died, I'd recharge it and call her back.

Finally we agreed to meet. So I took a week off of work and rode my bike from SLC, UT to Detroit, MI.

To say the least, we hit it off and we're still together today. It's not a perfect relationship, OOC arguments get drug into the game and vice versa sometimes, but we always seem to find a way to get over it.

That being said...if we hadn't have had our in-game relationship first, we never would have been togethter outside of the game.....and I wouldn't trade Austil for anything, not even that 5 enchant, crit padded, lightened to 40 lbs full plate I'm begging the gods to let me find in a box.

Now Alisin...she's another story...I'll be taking bids starting at a mangy kobold scalp on her.....anyone?

[SpunGirl]

My husband doesn't play GS, and thinks I'm insane for playing it. Makes it very easy.

-K

[AnticorRifling]

My wife said "GemStone is stupid!"
I said "Ohh yeah, you're stupid!"


The couch is nice.

[Wezas]

I got my girl into GS for about an hour. Once we got past the "no pretty pictures" part I got the "So how do I win?" question.

Well... er.... uh...

Needless to say she hasn't come near the game since. Usually try to wait till she's asleep before I get into deep playing. Pain in the ass to start a fight in game, then have her say "Can you reach this pot? I can't reach it".

[GuildRat]

ahahaha, my EX-wife said the same thing, but that's not why we divorced....::babble::

[SpunGirl]

My husband doesn't lke games without pictures. He plays NFL Madden something on his ps2. He plays, I play, we chat from across the room.

It's nice.

-K

[Adhara]

My boyfriend and I met through GS. Our characters are not and never were together as a couple. One of his characters has an in-game wife and I do plan on marrying off Adhara someday (hopefully). We don't have a problem whatsoever with that. Of course we live together and like a lot of you mentioned, I'm sure it makes a huge difference. Should there ever be any discomfort caused by in-game relationships, it could be nipped in the bud easily and quickly by just having a good conversation about it.

Our in-game relationships are purely for roleplay purposes and we draw the line before cybersex as we feel this is an unncessary part of the roleplay that could bring only more negative than positive.

[Edited on 11-5-2003 by Adhara]

[GuildRat]

My husband doesn't lke games without pictures. He plays NFL Madden something on his ps2. He plays, I play, we chat from across the room.


Cool beans...heh I sit 4 feet my my girlfriend and we laugh at the snerts, turnips and all-in-all goobs in the game.

Bonus...we play the the same PS2 games too...woo-hoo!!!

[Shari]

Damn, sounds nice for some of ya'll.

My boyfriend HATES roleplaying games. I couldn't even talk him into trying to play. I even attempted showing him what I do when I'm on and what it's all about.

All I get is a blank stare.

And of course I get the..."Gee Shari you've been playing this game for a year now, when are you going to win?"

Uhh....Never?

Yeah that didn't go over too well.

As far as in-game relationships go, it would feel really WEIRD to have Jesae or any of my other characters smooching and saying "I love you." to someone I've never met before in real life. Besides, why would I want to make out, cuddle, etc when I can just close the laptop and get it for real?

It sometimes sucks though because it would be great to get Jesae married and have a stable relationship but I guess "Incessant flirt" is going to be her title for life. <sigh>

Damned unimaginative, "Wheres-the-pictures at" significant others. <snort>

[Overlord]

My ex used to play a bit bout 2 years ago i got her into it as an Empath named Laeleia (Cheers for record of lodoss wars) Anyway i wrote her an auto heal script and taught her all about hunting and giving her tips and not what but she just seemed to lack the competence to grasp swift movement in combat... damn slow woman!! Then she'd get pissed at me pointing out how she could to better and attempting to assist her (she was bitching that she coulnd't do it i tried to remain positive bah)

Edit: Our characters were however just mediocre friends.

[Edited on 11-25-2003 by Overlord]

[Caiylania]

My husband is very supportive of my fun in GS. He often asks what level Caiy is at and what is going on with her in game. He didn't even mind my attempt at IG dating but it was just to weird for me.

He would love to play, but he can't read fast enough. We play Baldur's Gate together and games like that with our PC's hooked up or on XBox.

So usually when I'm playing we chat while he watches tv or does his studying.

:D

[Czeska]

Me ex is who got me into Gemstone. He was married in game at the time, strictly RP (trust me, I know it's true) and he and his "wife" adopted Czeska.

Welllll now he and I have split up, I met my RL boyfriend in game, and all of his and my characters are together.

And *I* used to be the one who said "all you wanna do is play that stupid GAME"

[Souzy]

This is too funny!!! My ex hates this game and hated the fact that I played. He would just come in and tease me and say, "Did you win yet, huh, did ya win?" Then he'd whine and say I never spend time with him anymore and I'd tell him, "Men are so God damn needy!!! Quit yer belly achin' and save those tears for your momma!" haha!!! Just kidding, nah he use to whine when I use to play alot. We broke up for other reasons, no not GS, my life is not that pathetic that I'd break up over an RPing game. Like Anticor said :lol:



My wife said "GemStone is stupid!"
I said "Ohh yeah, you're stupid!"


Oh and dating IG, I find it if you can find people that can seperate RL from IG crap, life can be so wonderful. That's why I love the fact that one of my characters is married to Tijay (Sean) and Lalana is attached to someone, but I'll never marry her off, heh. Yeah, Tijay (since he posts here) knows how to seperate this kind of stuff and Sean is a sweet kid, but most times a smartass. Yups, I wouldn't trade him for anything. MINE!!!!! :P

Edited to add, hey Anticor, I found my new sig. Thanks!

[Edited on 11-26-2003 by Lalana]