Painful family judgement.

[Jenisi]

So after many years of deliberation I've decided to look more into becoming an egg donor. I've had a fear for awhile that I won't be able to pass on my genes before I die... I'm not sure why I have this fear, but I do. I don't have a desire to have children of my own anytime soon due to my carrer goals and the like and basically not being finacially able. So I call Yale to have them deliver me some information about it and did some research online. I decided to talk to my sister who is for the majority open-minded. Well it lead to her telling me she'll deny me as a sister and blocking me. The conversation...

pinkberries17: I'm thinking about being an egg donar
Sister: oh lord
Sister: why?
pinkberries17: because I have a desire to have my genes past on because I don't know if I'll ever want to raise a kid on my own
Sister: Angela!
Sister: you will fucking raise your own kid
pinkberries17: Sister!
Sister: your genes won't matter when someone else is raising the kid
Sister: they will carry on someone elses name
pinkberries17: that's not the point in my eyes
Sister: Well it is the point
pinkberries17: I'll allow the child to contact me
Sister: But you can't
pinkberries17: you can
pinkberries17: I've done the research
Sister: oh geez
Sister: most mothers won't let you
pinkberries17: well that'll be her choice
Sister: just because they "can" doesn't mean they will
pinkberries17: but one the child reaches over a certain age
Sister: angela
pinkberries17: it's their choice
Sister: Don't do it
pinkberries17: I want to
Sister: I don't give a fuck
Sister: you will not
pinkberries17: I also will get a lot of money for it
pinkberries17: a lot
Sister: You need money?
Sister: do you know the procedure?
pinkberries17: I know it takes weeks of medicine
pinkberries17: appointments
pinkberries17: tests
pinkberries17: and I'm going go have a lot of pain
Sister: Yeah, taht sounds really safe
Sister: and possibly a chance you will be allergic to the medicine
Sister: don't put your life on the line
Sister: and don't give OUR genes to someone else
pinkberries17: I'm not putting my life on the line that's why they do tests
Sister: for fuckin real
pinkberries17: if she's unfertile
Sister: I'll have kids
pinkberries17: and it's a good home
pinkberries17: I see nothing wrong with it
Sister: Angela
Sister: My genes are enough to share YOUR genes
pinkberries17: they don't give my eggs to anyone
Sister: they are exact
Sister: Angela
Sister: WTF
Sister: You're being retarded
pinkberries17: wtf I've really thought about this
Sister: Why do you think they're giving lots of money for it
Sister: Think about that
pinkberries17: many reasons
Sister: Yeah well I'm pissed
Sister: Ask mom
pinkberries17: ok
Sister: I'm sure she'd say no too
Sister: And ask your father
Sister: He wouldn't even let thomas adopt us
Sister: They are HIS genes too
Sister: You need to think morally on this
Sister: not the money concept
Sister: There are many things you can do
Sister: to make others happy
Sister: and to do good things in the world
Sister: Can you imagine... someone else raising your child
Sister: and you never being able to contact them
Sister: or know where they live
Sister: You're a test
Sister: and so is your egg
Sister: they don't give a fuck about you
Sister: they just want the egg and to give you money
pinkberries17: It's what I WANT
pinkberries17: I don't care if they don't give a fuck about me
Sister: I will not accept you as my sister if you do it
Sister: that's what it comes down to
Sister: If you want babies
Sister: Have babies
Sister: Don't go off giving them to other peoples
Sister: It's the same as having a baby and giving it away
Sister: But you're just doing it before you have to give birth
Sister: So I'll have a niece or nephew
Sister: that I'll never know
Sister: Mom will have a grandchild, she'll never know
Sister: Grandpa will never see his greatgrandchild
Sister: Think about the rest of your family
pinkberries17: I'm not giving it to some guy in a foreign country that will abuse or anything the child
Sister: I'm not worried about that
pinkberries17: the child WILL be able to contact me
pinkberries17: like I said at 18 they can do any research they want
pinkberries17: if the child isn't allowd by the parents before hand
Sister: And you know wht
Sister: You can't guarantee they won't be abused
Sister: It's exactly the same as a foster home
Sister: You really don't know
Sister: Unless you're there 24/7
Sister: They can say they won't abuse them
Sister: have lots of money
Sister: and look like good parents
Sister: but you really, don't know
pinkberries17: odds are if they're paying to get pregnant they're not looking to abuse the child
Sister: Oh yeah?
Sister: Because they have money?
pinkberries17: and you get to screen the family (at the same time they screen you
Sister: I know people with money
Sister: That abuse their kids
Sister: Look at bill gates
pinkberries17: You might wanna report them
Sister: Fuckin A
Sister: You just think you know everything
Sister: Good luck
Sister signed off at 12:25:30 PM.
pinkberries17: Right, but odds are if they want a child they aren't looking to abuse
Previous message was not received by Sister because of error: User Sister is not available.

I had NO idea she was going to react like that and now I have the fear of telling anyone else in my family about my desire to do this.

[StrayRogue]

Your sister is a fucking retard. I'd almost want to do it just to piss her the hell off.

Give her a slap. Then another just for good measure.

[CrystalTears]

I don't know about the whole disowning you business, but I can see her point in not understanding why you would go through such physical anguish for genes that in the long run won't matter because the child will be someone else's.

Why would you want to have a child know that he was just an egg to someone else? What point is there in knowing who the egg donor is? It's not the same as a child who was left to be adopted and raised by someone else.

It's an egg that my body created. I guess I just wouldn't want that to go some stranger. If someone in my family wanted a child and couldn't produce eggs for whatever reason, I'd do it for them. But for some stranger? I just couldn't.

[Skeeter]

i want 5 minutes of my life back :(

[Jenisi]

I'd get to meet the family beforehand, I could be apart of their life if I wanted if that was my choice and my part of the deal or refuse the procedure if I wanted, it's not like I'll never get to know the child if the child has the desire. I feel a part of me goes on with my egg, my genes, my DNA and it does give me peice of mind whether you can understand it or not. It's still MY child no matter who raises it. I guess I have faith in other people as crazy as that sounds.

[Daniel]

It took you five minutes to read that? lol

Jenisi,

If I were you I'd be worried about possibly retardation, as apparently you and your (non identical I'm assuming) sister have EXACTLY THE SAME GENES.

[CrystalTears]

I'm on the fence with who the child "belongs" to when it comes to donations. You didn't fertilize the egg, you didn't birth it, you're not raising it. How is it yours?

I'm not really against what you're doing, just trying to see the point on both sides and naturally it not being a personal choice I would make.

[Jenisi]

It's not my property, it's my genes. I have no desire to do this then years later scream it's mine I want it back!

[DeV]

It's as common as men donating their seed to sperm banks. I understand the implications for women are much greater and more physically demanding on an entirely different level, which is why companies pay so well for the eggs.

[Asha]

I could have fathered Ethiopia with the wack I've flushed away.
Probably time I should think about how important it is and give it to someone as a gift.
Seriously though, it's natures way to want to have your genes passed on in whatever way possible. Some animals never see their young after they've mated but still immortalised itself, so to speak.
Sometimes men are the same.
You do what you have to do, I'd be fucking glad there's people out there who are open minded enough and thoughtful enough to do this for anyone who needs.
Good for you.

[StrayRogue]

It took you five minutes to read that? lol

Jenisi,

If I were you I'd be worried about possibly retardation, as apparently you and your (non identical I'm assuming) sister have EXACTLY THE SAME GENES.

Agreed.

[Skeeter]

It took you five minutes to read that? lol

I was eating lunch while I read.

anyway it's a silly discussion. it's your body do whatever you want with it. treat it like a carnival ride if you feel the need.

[Sean]

Seriously... tell your sister to lay off the booze.

[Wezas]

Sister: You're being retarded

First of all, it seems like you're doing it simply for the money. This whole thing about carrying on your genes, contacting them, blah blah blah seems to be a cover. Plus once the kid is theirs, it's up to the parent to decide if they want you to have any contact with them.

[Alfster]

Methinks people like you weren't meant to reproduce

[Wezas]

Probably time I should think about how important it is and give it to someone as a gift.


Noone wants an emo kid!

[Jenisi]

Yeah a month of pain and the risks isn't exactly worth a whopping 8k if you'd like to do some research you'd see I could get A LOT more if I really wanted.

[Jenisi]

Methinks people like you weren't meant to reproduce

And why exactly is that? Spend a day with me you'd disagree.

[CrystalTears]

It's not my property, it's my genes. I have no desire to do this then years later scream it's mine I want it back! So why even give them your contact information? Give them the egg and move on.

$8k for an egg, eh? Not too shabby. You sure it's not for the money cause I'm not buying this passing on my genes stuff. What's the big deal with your genes anyway? :D

If this were really about your noble need to give away eggs, you'd do it for free and be a true donator (other than perhaps cost of medical fees).

[Gan]

Once you donate the egg, you feasably give up any rights to it.

Expecting to have a 'connection' with the child that might come from that egg is just stupid.

If you want a 'connection' raise your own damn kid.

If you want to be around kids but not have your own, volunteer.

Edited to add:

Wanting to enjoy the perks of having a child but not doing all the hard work is just fucking insulting to those who have children.

[Asha]

Noone wants an emo kid!
Fuck this.
I'll be down the hall.. tell them I'm sorry.

[Jenisi]

I make over 50k a year, I'm not in dire straights for money. And the "big" deal with my genes is I'm only fucking here once and I'd like to know a part of me goes on. Why does anyone want to have kids? Good god it's the same fucking concept. And why bother my contact information? Because regardless I'd want the child to be able to contact me if they wanted to. Whether it when they are 10, 15, 20, 50 or I'm on my deathbed. If anything happend to the childs parents I'd also take on responsibility. If I was infertile I'd love this gift more then anything and It's nice I could be doing them a favor as well.

[CrystalTears]

Once you donate the egg, you feasably give up any rights to it.

Expecting to have a 'connection' with the child that might come from that egg is just stupid.

If you want a 'connection' raise your own damn kid.

If you want to be around kids but not have your own, volunteer.

Edited to add:

Wanting to enjoy the perks of having a child but not doing all the hard work is just fucking insulting to those who have children.

Man.. forget what I said before. This covers it. :clap:

[CrystalTears]

I make over 50k a year, I'm not in dire straights for money. WTF are you really doing at that rainforest cafe?

And you honestly think that if parents pass away that they're leaving their child to an egg donor who has no relations to them at all and has never had kids cause she's too chicken shit to do it herself? Seriously?

[Wezas]

But you realize this isn't like adoption.

I'd say I have the same rights donating sperm as you have donating eggs. Both parts are needed for a kid to happen. I might be willing to go so far as to say that I have MORE rights. Because my donated sperm is basically a substitute for the male side. Whereas your egg still needs to reside in the birth mother and then be fertilized.

The fact that your procedure for removing the eggs is more complicated than me spanking it doesn't make it any more important than my part in it.

[Jenisi]

I'm not enjoying the fucking perks. I'm knowing my genes go on and I make the couple happy. If the child wants to contact me, so be it. I'm not going to ask this family to make me be a part of the childs life, that's not what I want. I'm not exspecting a connection, I know how the brain devlopes and I've taken sociology and psychology courses. And by the way, I am around kids constantly in my job I work 70% with kids including painting their faces, bringing them balloons, and making their day talking about the animals in my workplace. I've already explained my desire and I've even though about having one of the eggs taken saved for me in case I get older and have my own problems with childbirth from waiting to long and the like.

[Jenisi]

What am I really doing? A great job that's in one of the buisiest malls in the New England area and I make average 200-400 a 10 hour day in tips alone and get full health, dental, vision, and life insurance.

[StrayRogue]

I don't see whats wrong with doing it for the money.

If someone offered me 8k for a shot of my product, I'd give them a big hug, then get to work.

[Jenisi]

The way America works is you're either a fucking housewife or basically you can't have kids till your at least 30. I have no desire to be a housewife because my college and my future carrer are imporant to me right now. It's so freaking demanding (having a child) and I want to plan having my child (that I will raise) when I'm finacially ready and I have a solid carrer because it's going to rule my life. Now if somone else out there is ready and wants to raise a child before they die (which I more then understand) and I can make a part of that come true, so be it.

[Wezas]

I just looked it up, Stray. Depending on the quality of your product, your family medical history, the result of your medical exam, you'd get anywhere from $1-$45 per series of strokes.

No retirement for us.

[DeV]

The fact that your procedure for removing the eggs is more complicated than me spanking it doesn't make it any more important than my part in it.True, 'cept for the fact that guys get paid the equivalent of a 2 dollar whore compared to what a woman would profit from this. Bogus.

Why would you want to still be involved in the child's life if you are donating your eggs, and making a profit in the process? If I were buying them I'd honestly want you to be no part of the child's life.

[Sean]

I don't get why your bothering to waste time arguing with people on the internet about whether or not you should donate your eggs. If you're gonna do it then do it, if not then shut the fuck up.

This thread pretends to be about judgement from family members (the ones with the exact same genetic makeup as yourself) but its pretty clear from your responses that it's about validating the concept behind you donating your eggs. If thats the case do you really care what any of us think about egg donation?

[Asha]

a shot of my product.
:rofl:
Good point too. Nothing wrong with doing it for the cash.

[Wezas]

So you're donating the money after medical costs to which foundation?

[Jenisi]

I'd rather reply to posts and questions rather then leave them unsaid and scream stay on topic! It's not a cover up, if a board moderator wishes to change the thread title so it doesn't seem to "deceptive" so be it, I don't really care what the fuck it's called. It's going to be a big decision that I haven't fully made and I wanted to talk about it. Now you can sit here and throw 07324987 insults at me and I don't care nor do I insult people back. Just about every responce has been "well I'm assuming she's thinking or doing this" when I've made the thread to talk about the subject. I don't think I'd make a topic to say I'm doing one thing and really thinking/feeling another because there's no point in making a thread then.

[Back]

I don't see whats wrong with doing it for the money.

If someone offered me 8k for a shot of my product, I'd give them a big hug, then get to work.

Quote of the week.

[Jenisi]

To the Angela is going to college to have a future foundation.

[Chelle]

So you're donating the money after medical costs to which foundation?


Good question Wezas. Oh hey, how about donate the profit to the child that will be born, like towards college or something? You know, so the child will have a good CAREER in the future.

[Wezas]

Oh hey, how about donate the profit to the child that will be born, like towards college or something? You know, so the child will have a good CAREER in the future.

That's an awesome idea. Or maybe covering as much as you can of the new parents medical expenses for doing this operation. Alot of couples (like one I know) don't have alot of money laying around but will spend what they have to do this or adopt.

[Hips]

You know, so the child will have a good CAREER in the future.


lolx100

[CrystalTears]

Heh, love the omg giving my genes to needy families but keeping the money for personal gain. Classy. ;P

Thanks Chelle. The CAREER was driving me mad.

[Jenisi]

The money is there due to the 4 weeks of treatments, having to take time off work, deal with surgery/recovery and the risks for my benefit which will just go straight to college loans. Not that it fucking matters what I do with my whopping 8k. So I give up my rights and give the child my money. Let's just keep throwing more "Well I just don't like this so I'm going to throw out a random bogus question to try to make her look greedy beause I obviously don't see a good thing about this situation!" questions.

[CrystalTears]

If you would have started off saying "I'm getting 8k for donating my eggs", I probably wouldn't have said much. Hell I may have said "send me info!" You had to throw the genes into the mix and denying that it had anything to do with the money.

You just seem really defensive, and I kinda don't blame you with the responses, but were you expecting anything else? If you're going to do it, then just do it. What were you looking for? Is anything said going to sway your decision? Because obviously moral, physical and emotional implications are not a factor.

[Jenisi]

What is it with your pathetic passion to try to make me feel or others feel I'm doing this for the money? You can ask Kellen, we're not broke nor do I make pathetic wages. I've said what I'm doing it for and you can keep your feebleminded ideas if that helps you get through the day.

[Gan]

Most guys who take the approach of "seeing my genes passed on" get hit with paternity suits or can be found on the dead beat dad websites.

Life is so unfair.

[Wezas]

If you came on here and said "I"m donating eggs for money" I dont' think you'd get many negative responses except from a few religious nuts.

The fact that you want your genes to live on and you want the kid to be able to contact you down the road is what has made this thread what it is.

[DeV]

I don't get why your bothering to waste time arguing with people on the internet about whether or not you should donate your eggs. If you're gonna do it then do it, if not then shut the fuck up.
qft.

[Jenisi]

I'm not saying I want the child to contact me, I'm saying I would be fully avalible if the child wanted to contact me. I'm not screaming give me rights, I'm not saying I want these people to raise my child then give it to me. It's my genes, I want them passed on through whatever means. I plan to raise my own children someday when ready and I'm sorry if the world thinks it's pathetic I want them passed on but it's what I want.

[Chelle]

What is it with your pathetic passion to try to make me feel or others feel I'm doing this for the money? You can ask Kellen, we're not broke nor do I make pathetic wages. I've said what I'm doing it for and you can keep your feebleminded ideas if that helps you get through the day.

Ermm, methinks is because of this part of the convo?

Sister: angela
pinkberries17: it's their choice
Sister: Don't do it
pinkberries17: I want to
Sister: I don't give a fuck
Sister: you will not
pinkberries17: I also will get a lot of money for it
pinkberries17: a lot


See you are the one who brought up the money factor in the first place. If money doesn't matter then why mention it? I think that's where we are confused. IMHO I don't care if it is for the money, but don't come off acting like it isn't when you made it seem like it was.

[Jenisi]

I edited parts of the log not that it matters because what I was trying to share came across. And I brought it up to my sister because I wanted her to know after she talked about the risks that It's not like I wouldn't be compensated for them. Regardless everything is being taken the wrong way, I'll take the advice and give up on trying to discuss this with you all because I'm really getting sick of waiting for a new comment to defend myself against. Enjoy thinking hateful thoughts of me!

[CrystalTears]

Okay but wait. You said it was to pass on your genes, correct? If you plan on having your own child one day anyway, then why donate your eggs?

[Chelle]

Jeez, girl, no one hates you. Who cares what we say, anyway. Do what you want with your eggs, they're yours. Ask for an opinion you'll get it. Some agree, some don't, but most don't really care.

[CrystalTears]

Because she does care or she wouldn't post this in the first place to get opinions.

[Tromp]

It is your body :bananahit:. Do what you want for whatever motivation you need. The family you are helping have children is a plus. You doing it for college money is better than going out and buying a car or something.

You bringing it up for conversation here obviously means you are still questioning yourself on actually moving forward. Is it the fact you can't have kids of your own or you just don't want to?

[Sean]

I edited parts of the log not that it matters because what I was trying to share came across. And I brought it up to my sister because I wanted her to know after she talked about the risks that It's not like I wouldn't be compensated for them. Regardless everything is being taken the wrong way, I'll take the advice and give up on trying to discuss this with you all because I'm really getting sick of waiting for a new comment to defend myself against. Enjoy thinking hateful thoughts of me!

okay here you go.. Rah rah shish boom bah! go angela! donate those eggs!

[Miss X]

The whole idea of selling your eggs makes me feel a little uneasy. Not to mention that we don't actually know what the long term risks of egg donation could be, since we haven't been doing it long enough to know.

It also makes me very feel very uneasy to hear you say that you feel the child would still be yours. In no way would that child be yours, you wouldn't be its mother and you certainly have no right to have anything to do with it.

Honestly, before donating (well, I say donating but I guess its selling) you really need to consider your own emotional state and ability to detach yourself from the egg. The drugs you'll be given might have long term effects, such as increasing your risk of ovarian or breast cancer in the future. Obviously they may not, but we don't have evidence to prove either way.

I really believe that those who donate eggs should to it out of the kindness of their hearts and make no profit at all.

[ElanthianSiren]

I can't understand the point honestly, if your body can carry a child.

A close friend of mine, when I was fairly certain I couldn't have a child, was nice enough to say she would allow them to implant it and would carry it for me. This, however, isn't the same; it's exactly opposite.

Seriously examine why you want to do this, especially if you plan to have children. I'm not going to insult you by saying you're doing this for the money; instead, I'm going to argue that you may be doing it for the reason that you state. You want to pass on your genes. What you have to realize is that all bloodlines die. In the absence of isolation, all races/traits assimilate. In a thousand years from now, it will be tough to tell, provided the human race hasn't poisoned the planet into non-existence, that the fifth humanoid reptile child in the lunch line is a descent of yours anyway.

BTW who cares if you have to wait til 30 to have a child? I plan to wait until 32 or so. You may not be the "cool" mom, but you can give your child stability, structure, and years more insight than a younger mother may be able to provide.

-M

[Wezas]

This may be a bit off topic, but think of the rack that $8k could buy.

[Kierke]

You want to donate your eggs? Great, go for it. I don't care why you want to do it. The end result of your donation is that someone gets the possibility of having a child, where previously that possibility was absent. You can't make much more of a difference in someone's life than helping them conceive.

The thing about IVF and fertility treatments, from a moral perspective, is that any child that results from them is a wanted child. It's too damn expensive, painful and dangerous for people to do it on a whim. Once a woman gets to the point where she's having someone else's egg implanted in her, she's usually pretty serious about child-raising. All children, and this is where I show my white liberal ass, should be wanted children. All pregnancies should be wanted pregnancies.

I don't care why you're considering doing it, because in the end, it's not going to be about you. It's going to be about making someone else happy.

M.

[ElanthianSiren]

The whole idea of selling your eggs makes me feel a little uneasy. Not to mention that we don't actually know what the long term risks of egg donation could be, since we haven't been doing it long enough to know.

It also makes me very feel very uneasy to hear you say that you feel the child would still be yours. In no way would that child be yours, you wouldn't be its mother and you certainly have no right to have anything to do with it.

Honestly, before donating (well, I say donating but I guess its selling) you really need to consider your own emotional state and ability to detach yourself from the egg. The drugs you'll be given might have long term effects, such as increasing your risk of ovarian or breast cancer in the future. Obviously they may not, but we don't have evidence to prove either way.

I really believe that those who donate eggs should to it out of the kindness of their hearts and make no profit at all.

This made me think of the way that the female human body selects the most desirable egg to release a month during ovulation, while the others stay in our ovaries. Good point.

-M

[Rainy Day]

Whoa! At first I was shocked at the sister's response. Then even more shocked by the responses here. Maybe because I totally understand where Jenisi is coming from and it has never even applied to the rest of you?

Seriously, making all these moral judgments about her simply because she expanded on some of her comments and what all goes into the process?

I have never wanted children. I know it's not in me to be a good mom and I'd resent the impositions. But having made that decision, I've also been saddened at times with the idea that when I die, that's it. Nothing of me continues on. So when I first heard about egg donating, I did consider it for the exact reason Jenisi stated. It seems like a way to assuage the biological urge to reproduce and feel as if I will leave something behind.

I never got as far as finding out how much the donor is paid. I got to basic details of what the donor has to go through, and that combined with the fact that I don't think my genes themselves are actually that great (family with alcoholism in it and we ain't that good lookin either!), decided not to pursue it further.

If I had though, my reasons for doing it would have been two fold. To know that part of me lived on when I died, and to know that I had helped out other people with something they desperately wanted. You can damn well bet I would have kept the money for the discomfort, inconvenience and lost time from work, but the money had no bearing on my reasons for wanting to do it or declining to do it.

I also would have made it known that if the child wanted to contact me in the future they could. Not for my reasons, but because I know that can be important to the child and I feel they should have that opportunity to appease their curiosity if they so desire. It's for the child's peace of mind, not the donor's.

The rest of you need to get a grip or something.

RD

[Stanley Burrell]

Ultimately, it is your body and there just so happens to be a couple systems in place for making donations; ranging from the macroscopic to the microscopic.

Go for it. Do it, do it, do it. Thricefold.

[TheEschaton]

Sister: You need to think morally on this

'Scuse me? Your sister is a bit idiotic. There is no immoral implication to donating your eggs to someone who can't have children. In fact, I think that's probably the opposite of immoral (if we took out the "material gain" bit).

I think if you want to do it, do it. Like Kefka said, it's gonna make an infertile couple not only extremely happy, but be the joy of their lives. Make sure you do it with a reputable company, and insure that the donation is going to good people, and bam.

And what was with that crack against Bill Gates? Does he hit his kids?

-TheE-

[Stanley Burrell]

I had the look of reverse ejaculation transfixed upon my features reading over the Bill Gates comment as well.

[Shari]

Yeah a month of pain and the risks isn't exactly worth a whopping 8k if you'd like to do some research you'd see I could get A LOT more if I really wanted.

Statements like this convince me that this is nothing more than wanting to get some quick cash.

And yes, it is quick cash when you think about it....at least 8k in a month?

[Shari]

What am I really doing? A great job that's in one of the buisiest malls in the New England area and I make average 200-400 a 10 hour day in tips alone and get full health, dental, vision, and life insurance.


Wow, you work 40 hours a week as a server?

[Meges]

I make over 50k a year, I'm not in dire straights for money. And the "big" deal with my genes is I'm only fucking here once and I'd like to know a part of me goes on. Why does anyone want to have kids? Good god it's the same fucking concept. And why bother my contact information? Because regardless I'd want the child to be able to contact me if they wanted to. Whether it when they are 10, 15, 20, 50 or I'm on my deathbed. If anything happend to the childs parents I'd also take on responsibility. If I was infertile I'd love this gift more then anything and It's nice I could be doing them a favor as well.

I honestly can't imagine any family wanting the child to do anything with you if anything happened to them. Not because you're a horrible person or anything, but because they'd have no clue really what type of person you are. All they'd know is you donated an egg. They'll likely have extended families or people they trust. I also kind of wonder if parents would ever tell their child that he or she came from a donated egg.


Meges

[Gan]

No law says they have to.

[Landrion]

What youre contemplating doing is a great thing for those folks who can't have children on their own and really want to. Rock on.

[Bobmuhthol]

New England malls suck, by the way.

[crazymage]

I miss your sis!

[Brattt8525]

As to your response on the 4 weeks of treatment and the surgery/recovery part your full of shit or have been misinformed on the whole procedure of egg retrieval.

I went through this "procedure" hmm 6 times? There is no fucking "surgery and recovery time" I had to stick a needle in my butt for a period of time watch and record my temperature take ovulation tests and when the time came I had another shot that was different to inject go to the doctors they stick a very long needle into your uterus retrieve your eggs while your awake poof you leave.

Where is this surgery and recovery time coming from? Sheesh the egg retrieval was no walk in the park it felt like some horrible cramping but when it was over I was out riding/playing softball etc the same day.

Your whole start to this about passing on your genes is BS at least be honest your doing it for an easy 8K. I have been through it when my first husband and I wanted to have kids its not a big deal and sure as hell not a surgery requiring a recovery time LOL LOL.

And to your I want to give people a child who can't line is BS too, there are tons of kids all over the world that already need a home. Also as others have said if the true motive behind your "donating" your genes was genuine you wouldn't be taking the 8K.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

I think you should go for it if it's what you really want to do. Not all women can have children who'd really love to, and donated eggs make that possible. It's an incredible gift, and leaving the options open for a child to contact you is good too if the parents decide they want that option open. If I were to use donor eggs I would want a contact, not for a motherly figure or a "in case I die" person but to get medical questions answered if something freaky comes up, like a blood disease or what not because then it's imperative family history is known. I'm sorry your sister isn't more understanding, but honestly, it's not her choice to make at all, nor is it anyone's here.

As for people trying to make you feel bad about taking the money, fuck them. Men can donate a testicle for LOADS of cash (my brother's friend did it) and you know what, if I wasn't going to have children but didn't want my perfectly good eggs to not be used, I'd totally do what you're doing. Not only do you give someone else a wonderful oppurtunity to have a child that will be loved and wanted, you'll get to pass on your genes (like you say you want to) and a big perk, you'll get money compensation for the time/pain involved. Use the money to help your career-- go to college, etc etc. Don't let other's judgement stop you, because no one but you can know what you trully feel and think on this subject. If it feels right to you, do it, and fuck what everybody else tells you are "morals" because that's not what you're lacking at all in this situation.

[HarmNone]

This thread makes me wonder if people will never learn not to bring this kind of thread to these boards. This is a personal decision regarding a private part of your life. It's about a discussion between you and a family member, and a decision you are in the process of making, Jenisi. It really shouldn't be fodder for a message board that centers around a text-based game. Anything like that, brought here, always results in a big, melodramatic free-for-all. :(

[Skirmisher]

As long as you are somehow able to be sure that the business who will be accepting the eggs will be trying to place them with responsible would be parents then do whatever you want.

This world runs on money so, as long as you are not breaking the law or hurting anyone, if you can make some money then I don't have a problem with it.

Just dont try to fool others and most importantly yourself into thinking this is some altruistic endeavor as it is not.

[Jazuela]

I think it's great that you want to donate. But I wonder about your motives. I'm not sure donating an egg is going to be the all-wonderful "OMG my genes are speading throughout the world and I am immortal now" thing you think it is. The egg is the only thing that would be yours. The resulting child would have his OWN unique DNA structure, based on the combination of yours and the sperm-providor's genes. The resulting child would not be yours, and if the people raising him/her choose not to share their child's life with you, it is -their- right, and not yours to expect it. Parents can, and do, change their minds about that kind of thing. And you have absolutely no guarantee that the child will ever learn that he came from an egg belonging to someone other than the woman he called Mom.

If you can accept this possibility, then I repeat - I think your idea to donate is wonderful, and one of the ultimate gestures of generosity and selfless acts. If you can't accept this possibility, I think it would be harmful to everyone involved, in the long run.

Good luck, whichever you pick.

[Numbers]

Do it if you want. It's your body, your decision. Who cares what your sister thinks? She'll get over it.

I'm a little curious as to what type of responses you expected to get here, though. Folks here tend to speak their mind, and for a subject such as this, of course you're getting a lot of dissenting opinions.

And I mean no offense by this, but I think you should take a really long, hard look and try to decide whether you're emotionally mature enough to make a decision of this magnitude. Whether it's for the money or to pass your genes on or to give a childless family a chance, it's a big decision. And I'm assuming you're in your early to mid-20's, and it's a scientifically proven fact that 95% of all American women in their early to mid-20's are absolutely batshit insane. Be sure to take that into account.

[TheEschaton]

And I'm assuming you're in your early to mid-20's, and it's a scientifically proven fact that 95% of all American women in their early to mid-20's are absolutely batshit insane. Be sure to take that into account.

QFT!

[HarmNone]

And I'm assuming you're in your early to mid-20's, and it's a scientifically proven fact that 95% of all people in their early to mid-20's are absolutely batshit insane. Be sure to take that into account.

Changed that just a little for you. I'm sure that's what you meant to say. :D

[Gan]

w00t! HN FTW!

So true, so true, so true...

:clap:

[Jenisi]

Don't worry, I've learned my lesson.

[Sylvan Dreams]

The only thing that I have to add is that I thought it was a little tasteless to discuss something SO important to you in IM's. She can't see your body language or hear your tone.

[FinallyDomesticated]

A. I think it is a beautiful thing when someone helps a family have children who could not otherwise do so.

B. It is not going to be your kid. Not now, not when it takes its first steps, not when it gets married, not ever. Donating an egg is about the equivalent of donating blood - you donate, you're forgotten, someone benefits.

C. The thread screams I want attention, in my opinion. If you're doing it for good hearted reasons, you don't need validation from a group of internet gamers in a forum. I wonder if the future receipient of this egg in question imagines for a moment that the donor came to this decision via a series of 'fuck you and your pathetic insults, I just want to pass my genes and make 8k" posts.

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

You could get a tattoo of every egg you donate!

[Latrinsorm]

a few religious nuts.Sorry, I was in Rochester.

My mother was 28.5 years old when my older brother (the oldest child in the family) was conceived. Obviously the 80s and today aren't the same, but it's not totally unfeasible to have children later on.

It really seems like your family has some kind of previous conflict with this issue, given the way both you and your sister reacted (violently). The questioning you received was really quite tame by PC standards, so I can't think of any other reason you'd hit the roof.

If you really want something "of you" to persist, I'd strongly recommend creating something abstract rather than human. Immanuel Kant didn't have any kids, but more people know who he is than Johann Schluber (invented name), the baker down the street from Kant who had 12 kids.

The only other two points I want to echo are: "You want to donate your eggs? Great, go for it." from Kierke and "In no way would that child be yours" from Miss X.

Finally: "Men can donate a testicle" ==> OUCH ALERT.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Finally: "Men can donate a testicle" ==> OUCH ALERT.

I believe they get around 70k for it.. just hope you don't get cancer in the other nut I guess, heh!

[Bobmuhthol]

The testicle donation thing is absolutely false. No one takes them, and you can't legally sell or buy a testicle.

[Olanan]

Now I think about it, I'm fairly sure you have to sign a form saying you won't try to contact the child or bother the mother.

[SpunGirl]

My only question is... how is this donation? I donate blood because I'm a universal donor. I don't get paid for it, they stick an icky needle in my arm and try to force-feed me crappy cookies afterward.

This is a sale. For whatever reason you claim you want to do it, there is no "donation" about it.

That said, do what you want. Tell your sister to STFU. They're your eggs, it's your body, your time spent.

-K