Sick Moms, and life in general.

[Ilvane]

I don't normally post on things that are going on in my personal life, but I wanted to share for some reason today.

My mom is in the hospital yet again, and for those who know me, it's been a difficult few years. My dad passed away a couple years back at 59, and my mom has had the most awful time dealing with it..

Now my mom is probably 105 pounds soaking wet, yet somehow she has been saddled with diabetes that nearly cripples her, and has had a heart attack and subsequent triple bypass. She has neuropathy in her legs, and this is what had started the problems with her feet..since she has slow circulation in her toes and feet.

My mom stubbed her toe. I mean, literally that was all it was. Since then she has lost her big toe, then her little toe, then all three toes in the middle..then a portion of her foot. The three toes and a portion of the foot came off this past weekend, after she developed a staph infection and the line went up her leg, etc..so they had emergency surgery. When she got out of surgery she had a bit of a heart issue, and they gave her oxygen and have been checking her ekg's all the time. They also gave her blood yesterday.

Of course, my mother is just devestated and angry and sad. I can understand it too. I mean when she got her big toe taken off, she had three months for it to heal..and then this..so she's back in bed again until this heals. She's still in the hospital now, and they are going to keep her until they can control the infection and her heart issues at the same time. My mom is only 57..this should not be happenning so young.:(

All in all, it's just hard to deal with. I've been taking time off from work occassionally to take care of her, most recently for two and a half weeks, to make sure that she had everything she needed, like dinners and lunches, as well as helping her get medicine, and get to doctors appointments. Thankfully my job is understanding and I also have the family medical leave available, or I would not be able to do this and continue to take care of my mom.

I don't know what everyone believes, but any kind of spiritual prayer, healing thoughts, candles or anything good is fine with me, if you wouldn't mind sending the thoughts my moms way. I just want her to have all the help she can get.

Much love to everyone.

Angela

[Asha]

any kind of spiritual prayer, healing thoughts, candles or anything good is fine with me, if you wouldn't mind sending the thoughts my moms way. I just want her to have all the help she can get.
You got it.
There will be thoughts for you too.
Xx

[HarmNone]

A candle is lit for your mom, hon, and one for you, as well. I know what it's like to take care of ailing relatives. My heart is with you.

[Chelle]

Prayers, thoughts, and lit candles for you and your mother. Stay strong.

[DeV]

My thoughts are with your mom. She's lucky to have a daughter like you.

[Ilvane]

Thank you guys, you are all so sweet.:)

Angela

[Augie]

Angela I'm so sorry that you're going through this hon. I know how hard it must be because a lot of what you're describing is what my mom is going through too.

It's so hard to see your parents in pain when they have always been the ones taking care of you and nurturing you and when the tables are turned, it's almost surreal to be the ones taking care of them.

My thoughts are with you and I'm here if you need anyone to talk to :big hugs:

Take care sweety and stay strong for your mom.
- Christina

[Artha]

Eesh, that's rough. I dont usually post in threads like this, but you and your mother have my sympathy.

<3

[StrayRogue]

And my own.

I hope she improves.

Chin up, as they say.

[Solkern]

my prayers go out to your mother and you. Candle lit for her well being.

[Killer Kitten]

I haven't been around a lot because my mother has been sick also. She's had two surgeries for colon cancer, and this last one has been a nightmare to recover from.

Every day I was driving the 70 miles to her house to get her dinner, supervise her medications, take care of her banking and bills, mow her lawn, and all the rest of the stuff involved with somebody who is ill and can't do it on their own.

Then at night I'd race the 70 miles back to my house and hope Mike would still be awake so I could have a conversation on subjects besides coax feeding and adult diapers.

This week she started chemo, and it's like a miracle has occurred. She's completely turned around, eating well, being self sufficient and once more interested in life. Who the hell thought chemo would have an effect like that?

So, Angela, I hope you get a 'little miracle' same as I just did. It's so thrilling to see my mother smiling a genuine smile again, I hope you get the same treat.

Do you have a Meals on Wheels program near you? Ours has been a blessing, not only for the food they bring but for the visit she gets when they drop by. On days when I can't make it down to see her I have peace of mind knowing the Meals guys will be stopping in.

[Skirmisher]

An additional source of support could be your loved ones or your own place of worship.

I may a lapsed catholic but my mother is not and when she was working through her own bout with cancer our church was a wonderful source of support. Meals were provided a few times a week, food in general, people stopping by and the clergy as well stopping in to deliver communion or just talk.

I don't know how applicable this is in your cases, but it was very gratefully received in ours.

[HarmNone]

It's great to hear your mom is feeling better and getting around better, kitten. Those surgeries are difficult, and chemo can often be very uncomfortable and energy-sapping, not to mention the various miseries that often accompany it. If it's working well for you mother, and making her more able to participate in life as she wants to do, that's marvelous. :)

[Ilvane]

My mom just got out of the rehab on Monday, but it is still not completely healed. She actually wound up losing half of her foot, and in the middle of it all she had a heart problem and wound up having to be sent to Boston for an emergency heart surgery.

She came back to the local hospital where they gave her a skin graft, and closed up her foot, and she was inpatient there until about 2 weeks ago when she went to a rehab facility to get her stronger. She was very angry, upset and anxious the entire time she was there. She did a lot of things like calling me late at night and telling me to come up immediately, or calling me at work saying things like they were going to kill her in there because they were giving her too much medicine. I went there and reviewed the medication(I'm the medical proxy) and it was everything that the doctor had recommended..so it has been excruciatingly tough to handle. They also suggested that she see a psychologist which she blamed on me..

I wasn't against it because she was getting very despondant and if she had been one of my regular patients, I would have suggested it. Of course, being her daughter, it's hard to say "Hey mom, I think it would do you some good to talk to someone." Between losing my dad not that long ago, and her being so sick, I can't imagine not needing someone to talk to, aside from family..but I'm the one she wants to talk to to calm her down.

Sure, I can handle it, but it hurts like hell. Ah, well life is the way it is.

The positive thoughts are always good..thanks for listening.

Angela

[HarmNone]

Sounds like you've had a very rough time, Angela, as has your mother. Hopefully, you can get her to understand that a psychologist could be of great help to her, and that seeing one doesn't mean she's bonkers. With all she's been through, it's not at all surprising that she's having trouble coping. Anyone would, I think. :(

[Meges]

Angela, back when we spoke quite a bit about your father, you certainly had my prayers then. You most certainly have my prayers now.

Unfortunately, I have come to the place of personally being able to somewhat relate to your situation and it really hurts to go through stuff like this. I feel for you and I'm truly sorry that you're having to endure these emotional and stressful circumstances.


Meges

[Ilvane]

Meges: Thank you. Of course if you are going through the same situation, I am so sorry, and my prayers are with you too.:(

You know, it just doesn't seem fair that both of my parents be sick so close together. I know that when my father passed I was devastated, and still am about it. I don't know what I would do if someone happened to my mother too.

Harmnone--I tried to explain that to my mom too, but she seems to think I think she's crazy. Nothing of the kind, I just want her to feel better, and back to normal as much as she can.

I don't mean to post about is so much, either. It sometimes feels good to talk about it, go figure.

Angela

[HarmNone]

There's nothing wrong with posting about it, Angela. Sometimes, talking out your grief is a good way to work through the issues associated with a parent's illness.

[ElanthianSiren]

Out of curiosity, what type of diabetes does she have, what is she eating, and what do her meds look like? Blood sugar rises, even in the absence of food (it can be secreted by the liver), and if the sugars run high, people can often have those problems.

Also, how often is she checking? Blood sugars can run high in type 2 patients then self regulate through the natural processes the body has to rid itself of sugar, but these types of high sugars do still impact healing, eyesight etc.

If you like, you can PM me instead of answering here. I hope your mother gets better, and she is certainly in my prayers.

-M

[Ilvane]

My mother doesn't really make sense clincally if you review most of her information. She's a type 2 diabetic. She is about 112 pounds, eats 5 small 99% healthy meals a day, takes her blood regularly and has a regimen of a certain amount of insulin daily to keep it under control. Since they started doing this new plan her bloods have been better, but the damage is mostly already done.

One problem my mother has is that she continues to smoke. I have tried everything to have her stop, but I think she's being stubborn about it.

That give you enough information?:)

And thanks for the thoughts, I appreciate it.

Angela

[ElanthianSiren]

That actually helps quite a bit, and you're welcome for the thoughts :) .

I agree with you with the smoking, as nicotine constricts blood vessels, and vessel constriction is a problem that diabetics have anyway. Vessel constriction is also a factor in slow healing time, heart attacks, strokes, and macular degeneration. I take selenium, fish oil (or flaxseed oil for vegans), and magnesium to combat it; if you can't get her to stop smoking, adding a small dose of those into her health regimen may provide some relief. Asking a doc about it first however is always a good step. I also take something by Nature Made called the diabetes health pack.

When you say 99% healthy, what do you mean? For instance, the ADA would consider the diet that a dietician put me on at CHOP (Children's Hospital of Philadelphia) healthy, but it resulted in vast swings in my sugars, me gaining about 40 lbs, and numerous visits to the ER. For many type 2 diabetics, some problems can be reversed by cutting out pasta, wheat, rice, and sugar. Fruits, veggies, and all the other natural fibrous things should be encouraged though, (so as not to fall into a state of atkins-style ketosis). If your mom could go that route, (again, I'd talk to a doctor first), I'd advocate it because of the difference that I've seen in my neighbor's condition (props to the doctor that convinced an 80 year old italian man to renounce pasta!) by just cutting out everything processed.

Your mother's low weight may be a symptom of her previous sugar problems, not her eating regimen. Example -- if my sugar has been high, my weight can fluctuate by 10 lbs in a single day. That is water, but what happens with prolonged high sugars is that the sugar has no way to get into the cells for energy, so the body burns fat instead (hence the weight loss and more visibly FAT loss, which you don't see with water weight loss).

Another thing you may check is her blood pressure. With vascular constriction, especially in diabetics, this can be a very good and very easy day-to-day way to measure control. I think normal is 120/80.

Finally, when I neared my threshold of kidney failure (before lantus), I had terrible circulation in my legs, and I was hospitalized once for adema (with numerous emergency visits also). That's fluid retention. Once they gave me a pain killer, but mostly what they advised was just to keep my feet elevated in bed from the knees up (so that the point where you are lacking circulation is above the level of your heart). That may be something you can try with her to help aid the healing time.

I don't believe there is ever a thing as "too late" for any living diabetic. Doctors for years told me "You will never have children", due to my sugars being so bad on the R/NPH regimen then so high on the pump. The last time that I saw my doctor, after being on lantus for a year, he said it might be possible. And then, there is always stem cell research :) Don't let your mom give up hope. The scientific community is always at work.

-M

[Ilvane]

Wow, it's been a while since I've updated here.

So, things have been going better with my mom in many ways. Her foot has almost healed completely, though she is still getting used to walking again. She lost half of her foot, which was very sad, and tough to deal with for her personally and physically.

Aside from that, life is getting better, little by little. For me, that is something that has eluded me for a while.

I have taken a short break from GS for the time being, with the exception of a couple of logins with Ilvane to keep her shop up, or just out of utter boredom.

You guys ever have a time when you are not sure who you can trust in your life? I'm having one of those months, actually..heh. I detest people that gossip, especially when they don't know what is going on, but I also detest the thought of anyone lying to me who I feel cares about me. Some situations of late confuse the living hell out of me, but I'm still trying to figure things out completely.

Such as life, I suppose. Maybe people aren't always going to be nice, like you expected, or they are not always going to have your best interest in mind. I have to learn that lesson, anyway.

Hope I didn't babble on too much, but it is the journal area! :P

Angela

[HarmNone]

I'm glad to hear your mother is healing, both physically and emotionally, Ilvane. She's undergone a lot.

I think we all have times when life just seems too full of confusion and compromise. Our expectations outrun our realities. Usually, things begin to balance out over time, but that doesn't mean it's easy while it's happening. :(

Hugs to you, hon. You'll get things figured out and you'll do what's right for you. Just give yourself a bit of time.