Why you never log on AIM in public places.

[Ben]

(I went in the library earlier today.I dont have a printer here so i went there to use theirs.When i sat down i noticed something.The idiot before me had left themselves logged into AOL instant messenger. This girl started IM'ing, thinking I was him. Here's the conversation..."Lol.Enjoy.Iam capfan4077. Sab)


ScarletTrinity: hey...
Capfan4077: hey
Capfan4077: what's up?
ScarletTrinity: nothing...
ScarletTrinity: scott blocked me...
ScarletTrinity: and honestly...it hurts...
Capfan4077: what do you mean?
ScarletTrinity: cuz he hates me
ScarletTrinity: he blocked me from iming him
Capfan4077: no he doesn't
Capfan4077: maybe he's retarded
ScarletTrinity: no, he hates me
ScarletTrinity: he told me he just wanted to be
friends
ScarletTrinity: and we didnt' talk for a while
Capfan4077: maybe he's gay
ScarletTrinity: and then today, i called him a
name...cuz i'm mad how he's been a voiding me
ScarletTrinity: and he blocked me
ScarletTrinity: no, he's not gay
ScarletTrinity: trust me...
ScarletTrinity: he's not
Capfan4077: I dont know.Maybe you just dont make him happy in the pants then.
ScarletTrinity: ??
ScarletTrinity: you want your ass kicked?
Capfan4077: yes please
ScarletTrinity: okay
ScarletTrinity: then look forward to it next weekend
Capfan4077: you promise? by who? you?
ScarletTrinity: yeah
ScarletTrinity: maybe i should call him...and ask
what's up...
Capfan4077: that sounds good,go for it sparky.
ScarletTrinity: i dunno
ScarletTrinity: he's probably screwing some other girl
right now...
ScarletTrinity: cuz that's how he is..
Capfan4077: he's a dog.God..... men can be so insensitive.
ScarletTrinity: i know
ScarletTrinity: but...it hurts anyway
Capfan4077: sorry for the delay...I was rubbing one out
Capfan4077: you there???
ScarletTrinity: yeah
ScarletTrinity: rubbing what out
Capfan4077: the hot yogurt, baby
ScarletTrinity: what???
Capfan4077: Man mustard dumb ass.The tadpoles were swimming at palm lake.
ScarletTrinity: i am so confused
Capfan4077: you know what I mean
ScarletTrinity: were you masturbating?
Capfan4077: you forgot the part about me fingering my ass
ScarletTrinity: seriously?
ScarletTrinity: eww
Capfan4077: yeah, everyone does it dont they?
ScarletTrinity: i know
ScarletTrinity: but i didn't need to know that!
ScarletTrinity: geez
ScarletTrinity: and i was just gonna ask you to call
me
Capfan4077: Yeah ill call you... a bitch or a ho after i ball you.
ScarletTrinity: What?Quit fucking around.
Capfan4077: come over here baby and we can get down to some fucking around.Ill slice through your stink drapes with my pork dagger.
ScarletTrinity: stop hitting on me and stop being gross!
Capfan4077: why?You know iam making you moist in the lap.
ScarletTrinity: pervertedness is not attractive
Capfan4077: And neither are you.That must be why Scott blocked you from IMing him.
ScarletTrinity: stop your joking around.the gross out humor isnt funny.
ScarletTrinity: i like it when a guy is respectful
ScarletTrinity: and doesn't talk about sex, or boobs
or whatever constantly
ScarletTrinity: because it's just irritating
Capfan4077: Whats irratating?Your jock itch?Now we're getting somewhere.Scott must've found out about your herps.Anyway,that type of thing turns me on.So ya want it?
ScarletTrinity: want what
ScarletTrinity: sex?
Capfan4077: yeah,face down ass up and we'll play fanny joust!
ScarletTrinity: ummm
ScarletTrinity: yeah i like sex
ScarletTrinity: i just don't think it should be talked
about all the time
ScarletTrinity: i already made a mistake
ScarletTrinity: and i don't want to do it agaiin
Capfan4077: I meant sex with me damn it.Ill be your favorite mistake.
ScarletTrinity: sean, you're my friend
ScarletTrinity: and i'm serious
ScarletTrinity: if all you want is sex
ScarletTrinity: don't talk to me if that's all you
want
Capfan4077: no its not all i want.Ill bring beer and drugs to.You do your job right,i may even allow you to have some.See,iam sensitive.
ScarletTrinity: are you serious?
ScarletTrinity: would you stop it and be honest
Capfan4077: Allright ill be serious...it's not all want but I think about
it.
Capfan4077: a lot
ScarletTrinity: do you like me
ScarletTrinity: or do you think about it w/ other
girls too
Capfan4077: you AND other girls.Sounds like a plan to me sweet cheeks.Where do i sign up?
Capfan4077: what do you think?
ScarletTrinity: sean, you're my friend
Capfan4077: And???Hey,when i accepted the position of "friend" i thought benefits came with it.
ScarletTrinity: i'm sorry...b ut that's all...just friends
Capfan4077: great
Capfan4077: thanks
ScarletTrinity: sean, i'm sorry
ScarletTrinity: i really do want to be your friend
Capfan4077: am I ugly???
ScarletTrinity: no
ScarletTrinity: you're not ugly
ScarletTrinity: i just think of you as a friend
Capfan4077: thanks for crushing me
ScarletTrinity: sean..i'm really sorry
ScarletTrinity: please
ScarletTrinity: don't hate me
Capfan4077: I have a giant wiener
ScarletTrinity: sean...there's more than that.I dont care about penis size.
ScarletTrinity: are you drunk or something?
Capfan4077: Did i mention my giant man-sceptor yet?
ScarletTrinity: sean, there is a lot more to a
relationship than that
Capfan4077: I know...you can cook my dinner and do my laundry to.
ScarletTrinity: sean..no
Capfan4077: why not?Iam sensitive to your needs.Ill let you clean up before i kick you out.
ScarletTrinity: sean..
Capfan4077: C'm on baby...what are you wearing???
ScarletTrinity: don't start that
Capfan4077: tell me? I'm wearing nothing but clothes pins on my nips.
ScarletTrinity: sean
ScarletTrinity: please, stop
Capfan4077: START! Call me "big daddy" when you back that thang up!
ScarletTrinity: no
Capfan4077: now!!!! do it!!!! I'm not good
enough for you?????????Snob!
ScarletTrinity: sean i told you
ScarletTrinity: you're my friend
ScarletTrinity: i want to keep it that way
Capfan4077: no I'm not
ScarletTrinity: what do you mean you're not my friend
Capfan4077: I want to get me some, big mama.I needs me some stank on my hang low!
ScarletTrinity: sean, please tell me you're joking
around
ScarletTrinity: please
ScarletTrinity: because if this is a joke, it's really
not funny
Capfan4077: How much you weigh?You pushing 3 bills?
ScarletTrinity: what does that have to do with
anything
Capfan4077: how big are your f unbags?Do you have more rolls than holes?
ScarletTrinity: i'm not telling you any of that asshole
ScarletTrinity: you are really pissing me off
Capfan4077: you have nice thingies and i have a big ol' dingy.Wanna play pole position?
ScarletTrinity: shut up sean
ScarletTrinity: i really dont' like it
Capfan4077: Can't we at last talk about it???
ScarletTrinity: no sean
Capfan4077: help me rub it
ScarletTrinity: no
ScarletTrinity: you have 2 hands
ScarletTrinity: do it yourself
Capfan4077: I'm chubbing up.
Capfan4077: I need 2 hands, believe me!!!
ScarletTrinity: sean
ScarletTrinity: i'm not interested
ScarletTrinity: just please stop
ScarletTrinity: if you had any respect for me, you
would stop
Capfan4077: If you had any respect for me you'd do something about these blue balls,Geronimo!!!
ScarletTrinity: you're either drunk or high or really
trying to piss me off
ScarletTrinity: which is it
Capfan4077: All of the above,plus...I'm naked
ScarletTrinity: sean...i didn't really want to know
that
Capfan4077: Are you ready for the hot yogurt blast
from my trouser snake baby????
ScarletTrinity: no
ScarletTrinity: i'm not
ScarletTrinity: STOP IT FUCKING RIGHT NOW
Capfan4077: Here comes the wiener snot!!!
ScarletTrinity: shut the fucking hell up
ScarletTrinity: please
ScarletTrinity: i just want you to stop
Capfan4077: right on your chin!!!
Capfan4077: OOOOOOH,your order is up.One chin omelette to go.
ScarletTrinity: know something,fuck this
ScarletTrinity: you're not even my friend now, because
you can't respect my wishes
ScarletTrinity: just go away
ScarletTrinity: please
Capfan4077: taste it!!!! Feel my mighty wind as I fart
in your face!!!!!
ScarletTrinity: you're so fucking sick
Capfan4077: sniff my anal vapor!Your face can be my toilet paper!.
Capfan4077: hello?? ?Was it something i said

[longshot]

Amazing!

I can't believe she hung around for that long.

Actually had me laughing out loud.

Good stuff!

[Ben]

I was cracking up when I read it too.

[Zanagodly]

The tadpoles are swimming at palm lake!

[AnticorRifling]

Ben you offically rule. This line was classic:

Capfan4077: he's a dog.God..... men can be so insensitive.


That whole log was hilarious.

[Myshel]

laughing.. I would love to be a fly on the wall when "Sean" has to explain that conversation.

[StrayRogue]

LOL, somebody must have gotten in a lot of shit for that.

[AkMan]

OMG I read this to my girlfriend and I'm damn near crying right now. That was so damn funny Ben. What a moron.

I bet she blocked him. He'll forever wonder what he did wrong. haha. What a moron.

[Betheny]

That is friggin hilarious. Ben rocks.

[DCSL]

Damn, Ben. You schooled him and he wasn't even there.

[Soulpieced]

Ben, did you start at the beginning of the conversation from the first hey?

[Weedmage Princess]

LMAO...I must give you props for that, Ben.

I still hate your guts and hope that you die, but...much props for that..

[IcyPoison]

That was the best... everyone here at work is rolling.. That was just great.

[Edaarin]

My roommates and I are dying right now. Oh god that's great.

[Back]

Its hilarious. I read some others that are pretty good also. Where are they coming from?

[peam]

Ben, why the fuck were you in a library?

[Edaarin]

Err..just so we're clear..were you the one who did that or was that from some website?

[Wezas]

Originally posted by Edaarin
Err..just so we're clear..were you the one who did that or was that from some website?

It survived my Google test, which isn't an easy task.

Amazing the amount of info he was able to get from her. Anyone else add these two to their buddy list?

My favorite:

ScarletTrinity: pervertedness is not attractive
Capfan4077: And neither are you.That must be why Scott blocked you from IMing him.

And she didn't even seem to notice that.

[StrayRogue]

I never had the idea of adding them to my own list....ah the mischief we could cause *cackles*

[Fraidycat]

Now . . I consider myself a politicaly correct and sesitive young man . . . and I think it was the most fucking hillarious thing I have read on these boards . . . .
'Chin Ommelette'
Paints a nice picture . . . cheers. . .
ya ha ya ha :D

[Souzy]

OMFG...ROFLMAO!!!!! Ben can be quite amusing at times.

[Betheny]

Originally posted by Lalana
OMFG...ROFLMAO!!!!! Ben can be quite amusing at times.

You want his nuts, don't you.

[Adhara]

Gah it made me laugh... I am ashamed but I couldn't help it...

[Souzy]

Umm no, if I was/did want his nuts I would've joined you and who ever else in that Ben thread.

Edited because I'm tired.



[Edited on 10-23-2003 by Lalana]

[Parkbandit]

Classic Ben.... simply classic.

Fanny Joust... heh

[Ben]

That wasn't me, it was another skinhead.

[Drew2]

::dies laughing::

Oh god that was great.

[Soulpieced]

Tayre likes to copy peoples' signatures and avatars. That is all.

[Drew2]

OK I copied Maimara's sig for a couple days, with a different bunny... but the blinky on my avatar came before Daina's.

Nice try though.

[Grandsome]

God, I peed my pants twice reading this.

I used to do this at work, some people would leave their IM up. I usually went the "I'm gay, let's fuck" routine though. They slowly learned their lessons.

Mason

[Parkbandit]

Originally posted by Soulpieced
Tayre likes to copy peoples' signatures and avatars. That is all.

That really is pathetic Tayre.

[Wezas]

Originally posted by Grandsome
I used to do this at work, some people would leave their IM up. I usually went the "I'm gay, let's fuck" routine though. They slowly learned their lessons.
Mason

People started locking their machines religiously by the time I was done with them. I'd just open their Outlook and start writing a resignation letter to the boss. And I'd just leave it up on their screen, unsent.

Or if I'm feeling especially mean I'll take a screenshot of their desktop, set it as the background to their desktop, and hide the start menu at the top of the screen. So they click on the Start Button or anywhere on the bar and it does nothing.

But that's only if I'm feeling especially evil.

[GS4Gurl]

Originally posted by Tayre
OK I copied Maimara's sig for a couple days, with a different bunny... but the blinky on my avatar came before Daina's.

Nice try though.


I made Tayre and Daina a avatar. Tayre didn steal anything!

[GS4Gurl]

Ben, that's the funniest thing I have read in a LONG time! I love a guy who can get me laughing so hard tears stream down my cheeks and my sides hurt. And no thats not a proposition! :lol:

[Myrianna]

Yes, it's been said, but Ben, you rule!

[Black Jesus]

thats awesome

[Drew2]

Whoa... didn't Black Jesus get banned a while back?

[Artha]

His ban was only for 3 months, and it expired.

[Atlanteax]

You know... I'm left wondering if that girl's self-esteem is just so horribly low, by the way she just kept taking the abuse.

The whole thing had me in hysterics, but when you think about it, it is also really sad.

[Stacey]

That was funny.

Stacey

[AkMan]

Sorry Ben. Couldn't help but to steal the classic line for my sig.

[Apotheosis]

that was 2 funny.. :lol:

Seriously, I think you did that guy a favor.

[Shari]

Fucking, hilarious.

[fallenSaint]

:clap:

[Sean of the Thread]

It's been 2 years since the Ben log and obviously Scarletrinity was someone he knew all this time. The guy is still obviously a twit.

BlackBelushi (10:13:25 AM): Later dicklicker.. tell your mom I said hi.
Capfan4077 (10:13:46 AM): who the fuck are you
BlackBelushi (10:13:54 AM): And tell her I'll never wash that finger... she'll know what it means.
Capfan4077 (10:14:05 AM): you son of a bitch
Capfan4077 (10:14:15 AM): better watch your self there son
Capfan4077 (10:14:43 AM): cause you'll be cleaning blodd off your face you keep that up
BlackBelushi (10:15:00 AM): your Epenis is bigger than mine tough guy?
Capfan4077 (10:15:30 AM): son what the fuck is Epenis
BlackBelushi (10:17:54 AM): your internet penis since you're an internet toughguy.
Capfan4077 (10:18:19 AM): i would pop you one right now if you were here
BlackBelushi (10:18:26 AM): Pop me in the pooper?
Capfan4077 (10:18:39 AM): no i leave that to your bf
BlackBelushi (10:19:57 AM): Wanna smell my finger?
BlackBelushi (10:22:07 AM): ScarletTrinity says hi
Capfan4077 (10:22:19 AM): dan?
BlackBelushi (10:22:28 AM): :-)
Capfan4077 (10:22:55 AM): you dirty son of a bitch what the fuck man uncool
Capfan4077 (10:23:03 AM): gave me a damn heart attack
Capfan4077 (10:23:06 AM): lol
BlackBelushi (10:23:11 AM): lol sorry man
Capfan4077 (10:23:15 AM): its cool
Capfan4077 (10:23:49 AM): shit i was searching everyone i knew to find out who you were, i knew the name was familiar
BlackBelushi (10:23:59 AM): your mom is familiar
Capfan4077 (10:24:11 AM): SON OF A BITCH



[Edited on 12-13-2005 by Xyelin]

[Atlanteax]

Damn, nice work. :lol:

[Edited on 12-13-2005 by Atlanteax]

[Augie]

OMG! :lolwave: I am dying over here! I am at work and people think I'm nuts cause I'm giggling at the computer.

That was awesome!

[Skeeter]

That's freakin hilarious. good bump