I probably shouldn't be laughing . . .

[Drinin]

. . . but I can't help myself. UC sent all their students this through email. I mean, shootings, stabbings, rapes, robberies, those are par for the course around campus, but this:

From: Eugene R. Ferrara
Director of Public Safety

Amy Howton
Sexual Assault Response Coordinator
University of Cincinnati Women's Center

On May 4, the University of Cincinnati Police was notified of a public
indecency that occurred in Langsam Library. The victim stated that
while she was sitting with her shoes off studying, an unknown male
***masturbated on her shoes***. University of Cincinnati police were quickly
called and are currently investigating the crime. The victim is
receiving support from UC's Sexual Assault Response Coordinator.

The UC Sexual Assault Response Team (SORT) has been notified and the
Sexual Assault Response Coordinator (SARC) is offering support to the
victims.

UC's Sexual Assault Response Coordinator provides services and support
to victims of sexual and gender violence, including:
* Forcible forms of sexual offenses
o Inappropriate, unwanted sexual contact
o Rape
* Nonforcible forms of sexual offenses
o Voyeurism
o Indecent exposure
* Suspicion of date-rape drugs being used in offense
* Intimate partner and domestic violence
* Stalking

If you or someone you know is a victim of these crimes, you are
encouraged to contact the SARC at 556-0173 or UC's 24-hour Sexual
Violence Hotline at (513) 218-9531.

Get informed of the types of sexual offenses that have been reported to
the Sexual Assault Response Coordinator:
http://www.uc.edu/ucwc/violence.html

Learn what services-for women and men-are available through the UC
Women's Center:
http://www.uc.edu/ucwc/advocate.html

For more about UC's campus crime statistics, please visit Public
Safety's Web page at:
http://www.uc.edu/police

If someone you know is sexually assaulted:
* Listen to and believe the survivor.
* Encourage the survivor to seek immediate medical treatment.
* Get information and support by contacting the UC's Sexual
Assault Response Coordinator at (513) 556-0173 or by contacting UC's
24-hour hotline at (513) 218-9531. Encourage the survivor to call, too.
* Encourage the survivor to report the incident to police. Please
note that reporting to the police does not mean you have to press
charges.

This information is provided to you consistent with the University of
Cincinnati's Police Statement on Sexual Offenses and in compliance with
the Jeanne Clery Disclosure of Campus Security Police and Campus Crime
Statistics Act.

[Sean of the Thread]

rofl why does that shit happen so much at colleges.... young dumb shoes covered in cum? See that in blotters A LOT.

[Asha]

ROFL.
Got to try that!

[Drinin]

Apparently she fell asleep with her shoes off while studying and some guy just crouched down and went to town all over her shoes. Then she woke up, put her feet in the shoes and found the 'surprise'. A friend emailed me saying she heard on the news that this is like the 5th incident in the past 2 years of this happening on campus.

[Wezas]

Damn, that's hilarious.

I mean I'd be pissed if it happened to me, but the thought of a girl putting her foot in a shoe and getting it mangoo'd is hilarious.

[Stunseed]

That is so great, words cannot describe how hilarious that would be caught on some campus video or something. Even when I was in college, I'd seen some pretty crazy stuff, but this takes the cake.

[Drew]

In Mass. three guys masturbated on some girl while she was sleeping and when she woke up she thought she'd drooled on herself. Then they told her later and got arrested.

[Asha]

That's not very fair.
The shoes are funny and with consent, many asians delight in the practice Drew mentioned.
But asleep and without knowing.. that's assault and I'd ''batter'' the guys that did it if I were her.

[Czeska]

Shoes.. I'd be pissed if it were me. The other would inspire me to make their lives miserable.

[Sean of the Thread]

lol I'm dead serious.. I see this in university police blotters all the time that people submit to collegehumor. Always some guy rubbing his penis on a girls foot in the library or jacking it in there.

[Some Rogue]

http://www.collegehumor.com/pictures/1686359/

[Drinin]

Fucking hilarious.

[Shari]

Maybe I'm just totally fucked up as a girl, but I find that hilarious. If you're going to fall asleep, in a public place, I would automatically assume people would try and do something horrible to you.

We had this chick that fell asleep in our Art History class, this HUGE hall of like 300 people and she had her mouth hanging open and making these sucking-air noises. Let me tell you how hard it was to resist throwing little balls of paper in to her mouth.

I was afraid she'd inhale it and start choking. :(

[Drinin]

Our campus is pretty safe, but the surrounding neighborhoods are a deathtrap. You can go 20 ft from campus and be in a shithole of a neighborhood. I usually carry a weapon in my car if I'm out at a party in the Clifton area (the area surrounding campus). Yay conceal-carry laws. We've had quite a few murders and rapes right off campus this year.

[DeV]

Eww@ this story. Cummy shoes are just gross.

[RichardCranium]

I've had a lot of experience with this type of thing. Cum in your shoe, tea-bagging and dick-stirring happened all the time when I was growing up. Something you just don't do is fall asleep around other people, ESPECIALLY in a public place.

And don't leave your drink unattended.