True Rumor

Well, some of you know, some might now and I'm not aware that you know.

I'm going to be honest with you all though. I'm tired of keeping a secret due to being a coward of what some people might say or think of me afterwards. If you guys have less respect for me (if that can be possible!) after this, then fine.

If not, I appreciate all your support. Anyway, for the past year I have been a heroin addict. I've tried and tried to beat the addiction, but whether I havn't put 100% effort or what have you into it, I still havn't won the war with it.

I've decided to seriously make another effort into quitting this drug and I'm keeping tract of my progress here. For those interested, you are invited to read and comment as well as tell others about this link.

Thank you all for your understanding.

- Luke



http://www.livejournal.com/users/guderian129/

[Edited on 10-27-2005 by Arkans]

[Miss X]

:heart: you Luke. I'm so glad you're being brave and honest with yourself and others. It doesnt matter how many tries it takes, as long as you get there in the end.

[Wezas]

Major step man. As much as we make fun of you, you know you have my support and quite a few others.

Just make sure you keep us updated. Try to pick up chicks while you're there, they're pretty vulnerable. :whistle:

[HarmNone]

Love ya, Arkans. You know that. I'll always be here for you, and I'm sure others will be as well. It takes guts to admit an addiction like this, and guts to put it behind you. Anything I can do, I will. Just ask, hon. Just ask.

[Jadewolff]

Just wanted to say Good Luck with that.

[Fallen]

Heroin is a hell of a drug. Stay on that straight and narrow, man.

[Edited on 10-27-2005 by Fallen]

[Jorddyn]

I would wish you luck, but I don't think that luck can fix this.

I guess instead, I'll wish you strength. You can do it.

Jorddyn

[Czeska]

Lots of good thoughts and energy to you.

[Caiylania]

I'll be thinking of you, too. Wish you the best in this struggle and I hope this time you can beat it. I believe you can find the strength to do it.

[Hulkein]

Good luck man. You got an uphill battle but if you remember that and prepare for it hopefully you'll be able to overcome it.

[Apotheosis]

Take care of yourself. I can't have your b4'b1'3s.

Feel free to chat me up on AIM if you ever need someone to chat with. I've helped friends through things like this before. Just stay strong. Your life isn't worth destroying.

[Warriorbird]

People are always addicts. They can get to places where they're just not participating in their addictions, however. It is possible. Good luck, but perhaps "I'm sorry" is more appropriate.

-an addict

[kranfer]

Added you to my friends list on LJ :)

[ElanthianSiren]

That's a brave step to admit here. You'll have to be just as strong later. There's a reason that heroin is called "mother heroin". Don't listen when she calls to you. Very proud of you on many levels and good luck.

-M

[Gan]

Luck and strength to you bub.

[Makkah]

Yea, um... good luck with it. I've seen a few people get out of that hole, and I hope to see you get out.

[Parkbandit]

Holy shit.. I thought Arkans was coming out.

Arkans.. you know I bust your balls alot.. but I know you can do this man.

[Brattt8525]

Hey Luke your taking the right steps keep it up and be strong don't let this drug beat you.

PS hey just think about all the clothes and shoes you can buy with the money you used to spend on drugs.....now that has to give you some incentive :)

Thanks. This all really means a lot to me.

- Arkans

[StrayRogue]

Heres hoping you kick it dude.

[hectomaner]

yeah i'm with PB, i thought immidiately omg bout time arkans accepts being gay....


but yeah, heroin, it sucks, period. nothing fun about a good ole smack habbit. but it can be done. hell, if a fuck up like myself can get clean after being hooked for 4 years, i'm sure you can too.


p.s. say good bye to your corona's with lime and grenadine


OHHH yeah, i just read your LJ post and saw something in there.

trust me on this, stay away from the methadone clinic. if you are smart, you won't take that route. its not a solution

[Edited on 10-27-2005 by hectomaner]

[Snapp]

Great to hear you're taking steps to get clean. Good luck and strength to you, Arkans.

[Nieninque]

First thing that flashed into my head was "Did they have a PC chat running recently?"

If this is genuine, good luck with it Arkans.

[CrystalTears]

We have one running every day. It wasn't even mentioned. This is real and I'm proud of him for coming out (heh) and admitting the problem. We're here for you buddy! :hug2:

[Tisket]

I think you're the first person from the PC to land in my prayers. Best wishes.

P. S. Keep updating the Live Journal (it's dry heaves btw not drive heaves)

[Skirmisher]

I think others have said it here already quite well Luke.

Congratulations on taking that first and perhaps largest step.

I know we don't chat much outside of the PCchatroom but please feel free to hit me up if I'm ever online.

I am hoping for the best for you, and as Jorddyn said, wishing you strength.


I just read the book A Million Little Pieces (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1400031087/qid=1130431121/sr=8-3/ref=pd_bbs_3/102-6365566-9596926?v=glance&s=books&n=507846) by James Frey. It was a powerful read that had me in tears several times.

Good luck, stay strong and please use us for support if you can.

You are a nice guy and a good guy and thats why we all tease you so much and I know we want you to be around to tease for a long long time.
:hug2:

[Nieninque]

Originally posted by CrystalTears
We have one running every day. It wasn't even mentioned. This is real and I'm proud of him for coming out (heh) and admitting the problem. We're here for you buddy! :hug2:

I was just reminded of the time he and someone else both started their "I'm coming out" threads after a PC chat

[Latrinsorm]

Edaarin was the other guy that time.

You can do it, Luke. :yes:

[Heshinar]

Don't really know you but stay the course. You can do it. Just set your goal in mind and DO NOT STOP.

[Kainen]

Do what you need to do to get and stay clean. Know that there are ALOT of people here pulling for you.

[Back]

Wow Arkans, sorry to hear about the addiction, glad to hear you are rising above it. It can be done.

[Drezzt]

I read this and thought, lol, another Arkans joke.
But seems it's real. My line to add to all this?
Nut the fuck up.

Drugs are for weak people and anyone that knows anything here knows you're not a weak ass. Get a hobby, a twitch, gesture. SOMETHING that you can do when you're feeling the horse.

I had a friend that rubbed his eyes every time he felt the urge.
It reminded him of headaches. He'd sit there, rub his eyes, and think of headaches until the urge passed. Funny too, he spent so much time thinking about headaches he'd pop off philosophy about the inner mechanics of a headache.

At any rate, pick something. It'll help when you need an extra push, I guarantee it.

All the other steps you know. Get a group, support (including here, duh), stop hanging around friends that do it, etc.

It's a tough road ahead of you but like I said, Nut up. You've got enough strength in your left eyeball to beat this thing.

[DeV]

I have to admit, the thought that crossed PB's mind crossed mine as well. In all seriousness, there are things most of us are going through in our lives that we may or may not have the courage to share with others, especially on an online forum such as this. You took a damn brave step. There is no respect lost in my book. As Jordyyn stated, luck has little to do with it. Stengh of mind and determination instead is what I hope you have and will utilize. I wish you all the stengh in the world, Arkans. We all know you have a strong mind and sometimes beating ourselves into submission is the hardest faught battle of them all. I think I've said enough.

Just don't give up.

[The Korean]

Good luck man. I hope you get out of this.

[Kembal]

Don't know you either, but damn, that's one hell of a step to take. Good luck, man, and don't regret it. Getting clean is the most important thing.

[Vixen]

Not that my good thoughts are worth much, but I am sending them your way Luke. This is probably the hardest thing you will ever do, and I hope that you gather all the strength you can from the people that care about you to beat this. You are better than what you were doing to yourself

[Chadj]

Having seen many members of my family both extended and immediate battle with addictions, I know this shit is tough. Very tough. But this is DEFINATELY a step in the right direction.

Just as everyone else has said, good luck to you. Honestly.
Always remember, it's possible. You just need to be willing enough.

[Edited on 10-27-2005 by Chadj]

[Eviltwinpsu]

I dont have any clue what your going through... but i wish ya the best of luck and all of us here are supportinng you....

hardest part is admiting you have a problem and having the willpower to seak help (darn AA meetings got this stuck in my head)

edited to add
One thing i might suggest is start going to AA meetings...its not just for alcohol abuse anymore there are alot of drug users there as well...

[Edited on 10-27-2005 by Eviltwinpsu]

[SayGoodbye]

It's been said many times already but I wish you strength to kick this and get back to a clean healthy life.

[TheRoseLady]

Originally posted by Parkbandit
Holy shit.. I thought Arkans was coming out.



You took the words right out of my mouth. I was so ready to see him say something like PWNed!!1!!

Arkans - I'm really proud of you for having the balls to admit that you have an addiction. You know that we all care about you and wish you only the best. :yes:

[Nieninque]

Originally posted by SayGoodbye
It's been said many times already but I wish you strength to kick this and get back to a clean healthy life.

Geez, I thought we just wanted him off the smack....small steps, Lady

[Parkbandit]

Originally posted by DeV
I have to admit, the thought that crossed PB's mind crossed mine as well.

Pretty soon.. you'll be a Republican.. and my work will be done here.

:)

[Soulpieced]

Ditto to what ParkBandit said. Good luck with your quest.

[Miss X]

As emo as it sounds... This thread made me all warm and fuzzy. It's great to see how many people are here to support Luke and I know this means a lot to him. Anything that gives him a bit more strength to face the huge challenge that awaits is worthwhile. Thanks guys, you all rock. :)

[Drew2]

rofl. Emo's reaching out to eachother. So cute.


Sorry.

[Parkbandit]

Originally posted by Drayal
I know I'll be slated for posting this but man, talk to me.

He's not coming out.. he's just on heroine.

[Asha]

Kay I should cirtainly have thought before I posted.
Sorted.

[Burnt out Priestess]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.Good luck.

[HarmNone]

You made a kind offer, Drayal, to try to help someone in distress. There's never a need to apologize for that. :)

[Amber]

Nothing to say that hasn't been said, but hang in there. I'm sure you're strong enough to win this war, but from all I've heard it's probably going to be the hardest thing you've ever done.

[Daniel]

Drugs are for losers.

You don't want to be a loser, do you?

[Asha]

Originally posted by Amber
Nothing to say that hasn't been said, but hang in there. I'm sure you're strong enough to win this war, but from all I've heard it's probably going to be the hardest thing you've ever done.

And the most rewarding.
After you wake up, you realise you'd numbed yourself from so much, it's astonishing just to see and feel again.

The most amazing part of the whole withdrawal, is the unbelievable relief you feel from the awful pain of DTs one morning. Probably the third day.
You lose all the strange and fucked up thoughts that you'd been having the whole time you were on smack.
And you remember who you were before you numbed and changed yourself.
The feeling is shocking and you'll panic at how much you have to take in and have your senses decipher. But ultimately they'll be the reason you stay clean.

Good luck.
You'll be carved from stone for the rest of your life man, and no-one will ever be able to take that strength away from you.

Honestly, I'm a bit surprised by the overwhelming response. I wasn't all to expecting something positive. Either way, it feels good to know that I just recieved a big "fuck off, dopehead" I've seen it happen before and people have said it before. Really awesome of you guys.

- Arkans

[HarmNone]

The PC, for the most part, is made up of an awesome bunch of people. Things like this give that aspect of our little community an opportunity to shine. That makes me smile...a lot! :)

[Chastittee]

Luke, you already know I'm there for you. This post is just sort of a permanent reminder. You know how to get hold of me if you need to chat/talk. And, if you don't get hold of me, you know I'll still be pestering you with phone calls during soccer games. :lol:

[Nieninque]

Fuck off dopehead

[radamanthys]

Yea, this is a great group of people.

We're all rooting fer ya here.

[Terminator X]

You are the man. You can do this.

Infinite luck,

- The Termite

[Ilvane]

Hey Luke,

It's tough to be in this situation, and if you need any help, I know lots of people around here(I live in Boston) that can help you out if you are having trouble keeping clean.

I hope that you are able to kick it. Heroin is tough, but it's not impossible.

-A

[peam]

Good luck, man.

Just remember, you have to do this.

[Lorrayne]

I don't know you at all, however, I want to share that I admire you for publicly admitting your addiction and asking for help. Most people don't have the balls to do something like that - they usually care too much about what others might think.

I wish you the best of luck and am pulling for you.

L:thumbsup:

[Satira]

Best wishes go out to you.

I knew someone a long time ago who went to a methadone clinic, and as someone previously said on here, a lot of times it isn't the best path. Good luck and I hope you make it!

[Viridian]

I do sincerely hope you are a success in this, I had someone very special in my life with the same problem he got clean....then he started again, and unfortunately, he wasn't so lucky.


Needless to say, you have my prayers, I don't know you, but you have to be incredibly brave and strong to do what you are doing. For that I admire you.

May God Bless.

[Showal]

Luke, I live basically down the street and you have my number. Call me if you need anything.

[4a6c1]

....throwing some of my own faith and support on the pile.

:heart:

Your strong. You can do it.

And I think you already know you can come to any of us if you need anything.

~R

[Vestarr]

Well i dont know ya that well Arkans but if ya ever need to chat just u2u me im almost always checkin in here ...Good luck an stay strong

--Chris

[Sean of the Thread]

YOU CAN DO EEEEEEEET!1!!

[Kuyuk]

I thought you were coming out as well. Oh well, there's still time.



K.

[The Ponzzz]

Yea man, get yourself clean! You and your man bag.

Goodluck!

So far so good.

- Arkans

[Warriorbird]

Has it really kicked in then? It's when it's at the worst and you don't give in that you've made progress.

[Edited on 10-30-2005 by Warriorbird]

Oh, the worse is definately yet to come.

- Arkans

[Back]

I read your journal. I can relate. Your drug of choice is one I never considered doing. Its a good thing too because I am the type of person to get into your position.

Thats why I tell everyone I meet to never start smoking.

I know people who have won. They are really strong people. Good people.

[Weedmage Princess]

Heavy stuff, Arkans. You have come to the conclusion though that the best thing for you is to stop and that's a pretty big step within itself. It's amazing the things people can draw strength from when they're going through hard times. I hope you are able to find strength in many places and wish you all the best.

[SpunGirl]

Wow, I'm totally shocked.

If it helps any, Arkans, my impression of you has always been of someone who has it together and is very sure of himself. I hope you can utilize your strengths to get rid of this shit.

Best of luck to you, and congratulations on making the committment to quit. It's a disgusting thing to do to yourself and honestly, you're so much better than that.

-K

[Lookkin]

Good job to all you guys that quit smoking..



Relative Addictiveness of Common Drugs
(100=Most Addictive; 0=Least)

Drug Rating

Nicotine 99

Alcohol 81

Heroin 80

Cocaine (Nasal) 71

Caffeine 70

[AbnInfamy]

Do your best and keep it up man.

I don't believe in wishing people good luck for journeys like this, it isn't gonna take luck, it is gonna take dedication and a goal. It is gonna be a journey, sometimes we trip on our way, but you're picking yourself up.

Keep it up.

[Leetahkin]

Bump...

.... curious to how you're doing hun.

[Drew2]

He relapsed and was found dead in a ditch 3 days ago.














APRIL FOOLS!!!1

[AnticorRifling]

And here I thought you were just on some wicked diet. Good luck bro and hopefully you can shake that demon.

Tayre, not cool, even if I did chuckle, not cool.

[Killer Kitten]

Never hesitate to use every resource available to you. You can be proud later, now is the time to lean on people and let them help you.

Oh yeah... Any friends you have who are still using - drop them. They'll just drag you back in.

Best wishes and I hope you make it.

Doing good for now. Been pretty much isolating myself from my past friends, which sorta sucks because I get wicked fucking bored. Some days are easier than others, but havn't really fucked up yet.

- Arkans

[Terminator X]

Play GemStone and have lots of sex...

ALL OF LIFE'S TROUBLES AND MYSTERIES ARE SOLVED!!!11two

Infinite luck, again :rah:

- The Termite