Actual writings from hospital charts:

[Leetahkin]

1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

[Tromp]

I liked #11.

Thanks for the post made me laugh.

[Jayvn]

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. ...That's a big glove :moon2:

[hectomaner]

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

nice

[Viridian]

Thoes were great....I laughed so hard now I have hiccups.

[Wuxong]

I got another medical joke for you :

There is a class of first year medical students in a morg with their Professor. As the class begins the Dr. begins to tell the class that the most important thing to being a Dr. is to be used to the human body. Apon saying this the Dr. removes a sheet and reveals a dead body to the class. As the smell hits the class people buckle over and squrim.. The Dr. looks at the class and tell them that something extreme is always the best way to get over this normal fear they are all having. The Dr.. sticks his finger in the but of the dead man and then sticks it in his mouth... The class shrieks in horror at first but soon one after another they all stick their fingers in the dead mans but and in their mouth. As the last student sticks his finger in his mouth the Dr. begins to speak. " the second most important thing for a Dr. is to be observants.... if you had been watching you would have noticed my middle finger enter the dead man and my pointer finger go in my mouth...... "


how do you like that shit huh...