View Full Version : Funny link for my fellow Brits!
Miss X
09-07-2005, 03:54 PM
A friend just sent me this link, I found it sooo funny. Any Americans who take it personally can bite me! (Oh.. and if it's been posted before then sorry) ;)
http://www.stephaniemiller.com/declarationofrevocation.htm
Sean of the Thread
09-07-2005, 03:56 PM
Not very funny?? And I love Cleese.
Ok alot of it is pretty funny.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters.
British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness. <---- so true.
[Edited on 9-7-2005 by Xyelin]
Warriorbird
09-07-2005, 03:57 PM
That's awesome.
It was very funny during the month when there was no defintive outcome for the 2000 election. It is a little dated at this point and thus less funny.
Kainen
09-07-2005, 04:04 PM
"Except Utah, which she does not fancy." :lol:
ElanthianSiren
09-07-2005, 04:08 PM
:lol2:
particularly funny (to me):
Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
(guess she hates mormons. OMG! she is a hate monger!)
There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary, then you won't have to use bad language as often.
Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).
:P :P :P :P :P :P
All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
(Oh God Please NO!)
-M
Nieninque
09-07-2005, 04:10 PM
:lol2:
Love it.
Skeeter
09-07-2005, 04:20 PM
I guess I just don't follow Brit humor. A feeble attempt at best.
Sean of the Thread
09-07-2005, 04:22 PM
Round abouts are seriously shitty. They installed a few here in Clearwater and after something like 6.5 accidents a day they ripped them out the following year. HAHAH.
Warriorbird
09-07-2005, 04:23 PM
Yeah. They suck. They put one in and ruined my favorite shortcut into Chapel Hill. The British conspiracy is clearly at work.
Originally posted by Xyelin
Round abouts are seriously shitty. They installed a few here in Clearwater and after something like 6.5 accidents a day they ripped them out the following year. HAHAH.
I just think we don't know how to use them.
Miss X
09-07-2005, 04:29 PM
Wait wait... You really don't have roundabouts? That's scary...
Sean of the Thread
09-07-2005, 04:29 PM
Originally posted by Miss X
Wait wait... You really don't have roundabouts? That's scary...
No we actually have a new technology called "Traffic Lights"
StrayRogue
09-07-2005, 04:30 PM
That would be my guess as well.
Miss X
09-07-2005, 04:31 PM
We have traffic lights too, but sometimes there are just too many roads meeting in one place! God, I cant imagine the culture shock I will be in store for when I finally visit the US!:lol2:
StrayRogue
09-07-2005, 04:32 PM
If that wasn't written by an American, it would be funnier. But still a decent read. Better than that piece of shite about not blaming Bush for ANYTHING in the other thread.
StrayRogue
09-07-2005, 04:33 PM
Originally posted by Miss X
We have traffic lights too, but sometimes there are just too many roads meeting in one place! God, I cant imagine the culture shock I will be in store for when I finally visit the US!:lol2:
There'd need to be a culture to shock you.
Miss X
09-07-2005, 04:34 PM
Originally posted by StrayRogue
If that wasn't written by an American, it would be funnier. But still a decent read. Better than that piece of shite about not blaming Bush for ANYTHING in the other thread.
John Cleese is American?
Originally posted by Xyelin
Originally posted by Miss X
Wait wait... You really don't have roundabouts? That's scary...
No we actually have a new technology called "Traffic Lights"
"Roundabouts essentially eliminate the most severe type of intersection crash - one vehicle striking another on the side. One study found that existing modern roundabouts in the US compared to traffic signals reduced crashes by 38%, injury crashes by 76%, and fatal and incapacitating injury crashes by about 90%. These findings, which are in line with experience in other countries, imply that increased use of roundabouts in North America will substantially reduce intersection casualties. "
LINK (http://www.scienceservingsociety.com/ts/text/ch05.htm)
Showal
09-07-2005, 04:36 PM
In boston we have "roundabouts". My boss is a brit and he sent this out to us at work. One of my coworkers wrote back that when everyone in my boss' country stops talking like the cast of "queer eye", he will follow the email.
Sean of the Thread
09-07-2005, 04:37 PM
Well from first hand experience they don't work well here in the most densly populated and traffic congested county in Florida.
^I don't think they took geezers and q-tip heads on the roads into consideration of their research.
[Edited on 9-7-2005 by Xyelin]
Showal
09-07-2005, 04:37 PM
and ... "roundabouts" are about the stupidest thing ever. They WOULD reduce traffic problems if people just understood that they are supposed to yield going into a rotary. People drive like fucking retards when faced with a rotary.
We have roundabouts in IL mainly the suburbs though, and yes, they suck and are actually quite dangerous if you are new to the area and have no idea you are about to drive through one. They need to come with a warning sign or something.
Originally posted by Xyelin
Well from first hand experience they don't work well here in the most densly populated and traffic congested county in Florida.
^I don't think they took geezers and q-tip heads on the roads into consideration of their research.
[Edited on 9-7-2005 by Xyelin]
I think the problem is that most of us Westerners approach round a bouts like Homer Simpson did when the Simpsons visited England.
CrystalTears
09-07-2005, 04:41 PM
:lol: I'm sorry but the roundabout part of the conversation reminded me of Chevy Chase in European Vacation, stuck in the roundabout in front of Big Ben all day because he couldn't turn left.
Frankly, that's what happens sometimes here. They go around and around the circle since they keep on forgetting to take the turn. Yeah no crashes, just endless circling.
Sean of the Thread
09-07-2005, 04:42 PM
Originally posted by xtc
Originally posted by Xyelin
Well from first hand experience they don't work well here in the most densly populated and traffic congested county in Florida.
^I don't think they took geezers and q-tip heads on the roads into consideration of their research.
[Edited on 9-7-2005 by Xyelin]
I think the problem is that most of us Westerners approach round a bouts like Homer Simpson did when the Simpsons visited England.
I think you are right... they should be much more efficient and safe but the above quote really sums it up.
Showal
09-07-2005, 04:45 PM
Actually, one good thing about the ROTARY is that when my girlfriend is giving directions (she obviously can't make up her mind), I can go around a few times to make sure she's actually confident in the way she wants to go. She still generally asks me to decide even if I'm not the one who knows where we're going, but it's better than turning around.
StrayRogue
09-07-2005, 04:45 PM
Originally posted by Miss X
Originally posted by StrayRogue
If that wasn't written by an American, it would be funnier. But still a decent read. Better than that piece of shite about not blaming Bush for ANYTHING in the other thread.
John Cleese is American?
I don't think he wrote it, personally.
Sean of the Thread
09-07-2005, 04:46 PM
Hahah.. ROUNDABOUT RAGE!!!! Yarrrghhhh!!
(they also built that massive fountain during one of our worst droughts.. and later dismantled it at a cost of millions)
GOING, GOING: The picturesque fountain at the center of the Clearwater Beach roundabout, shown here during a traffic jam in February, might be replaced with a simple reflecting pool or a cluster of landscaping. City commissioners decided that to combat roundabout rage, the city will have to reconfigure it and start planning to demolish the $2.1-million fountain. The roundabout has been the scene of many accidents since it opened in December 1999.
^Also when there was an accident in the roundabout it really seemed to fuck up the flow of traffic alot worse.
[Edited on 9-7-2005 by Xyelin]
Showal
09-07-2005, 04:48 PM
CALL IT A ROTARY DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sean of the Thread
09-07-2005, 04:53 PM
Originally posted by Showal
CALL IT A ROTARY DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pefect example of roundabout rage.
^::roundabout rage lightning bolt!::
[Edited on 9-7-2005 by Xyelin]
Warriorbird
09-07-2005, 04:57 PM
Ha ha ha. Awesome.
The new flag once England re-acquires us.
Sean of the Thread
09-07-2005, 05:05 PM
Doesn't there have to be some sort of socialist insignia incorporated in it?
Originally posted by Xyelin
Doesn't there have to be some sort of socialist insignia incorporated in it?
More monarchy than socialist, the pledge of allegiance will be replaced in schools by a pledge to the Queen.
Yeah, ROTARIES are ridiculously stupid as is the British highway system. PLEASE.. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE invest in a proper amount of signs. This whole entire game of "GUESS WHERE THIS ROAD LEADS ASSHOLE!!!" is really unfun.. and umm.. No "U".. Fuck the "U".. Fuck the "U" real hard. Color.
- Arkans
ElanthianSiren
09-07-2005, 06:36 PM
Originally posted by xtc
Originally posted by Xyelin
Doesn't there have to be some sort of socialist insignia incorporated in it?
More monarchy than socialist, the pledge of allegiance will be replaced in schools by a pledge to the Queen.
As sung by the Sex Pistols?
-M
Czeska
09-07-2005, 08:58 PM
First.. I have "Holiday In the Sun" is now going through my head. Damn you, ES.
Second.. never heard them called rotaries. Traffic circles, however, are here and there where I live, and I've never had a problem with them nor seen an accident. But I will have to agree with Xyelin... anywhere in the TB/Clearwater area is no place to judge driving abilities. My grandparents used to live off of US19 in Tarpon Springs :shudder:
Third.. <3 Fawlty Towers
<<Third.. <3 Fawlty Towers>>
Word!
:heart:
Terminator X
09-07-2005, 09:15 PM
Traffic circle. Strangely, I call it a roundabout as well :shrug:
Hulkein
09-07-2005, 09:19 PM
Originally posted by StrayRogue
Originally posted by Miss X
We have traffic lights too, but sometimes there are just too many roads meeting in one place! God, I cant imagine the culture shock I will be in store for when I finally visit the US!:lol2:
There'd need to be a culture to shock you.
har har har har
Skirmisher
09-07-2005, 09:22 PM
Anyone from NJ or at least north NJ is likely to be at least familiar with what we call traffic cirlces.
Nearest one to me is in Englewood i think. It's always funny seeing at least one person just stuck sitting there unsure what to do at the circle as it is their first time there.
Thats the plan alright. Put traffic cirlces all across the nation and paralyze us!
Those sneaky Brits!!
Keep posting this shit, you pickett-fence grilled asses, and we're likely to beat you with rocks and sticks.. again.
I remember being in the back seat of my dads car while he drove us home from my uncles.
He said Hey Dave we're coming up to a roundabout soon''.
And I was like ''OMG I can't wait woohooo''.
Thinking he meant the ride you get in a park.
After about 10 mins I asked where it was and he told me we'd already been round it.
:(
Gutted
I was about 6, before you ask. :lol:
Latrinsorm
09-07-2005, 11:10 PM
Originally posted by Arkans
"GUESS WHERE THIS ROAD LEADS ASSHOLE!!!"That's "asshoule".
Originally posted by Drayal
I was about 6About 6 years English = 21 years American, in case anyone was wondering.
Yeah it's true.
Your 21 year olds are actually 6.
Mentally anyhow.
:medieval:
Showal
09-08-2005, 09:58 AM
Originally posted by ElanthianSiren
Originally posted by xtc
Originally posted by Xyelin
Doesn't there have to be some sort of socialist insignia incorporated in it?
More monarchy than socialist, the pledge of allegiance will be replaced in schools by a pledge to the Queen.
As sung by the Sex Pistols?
-M
hahahahaha i love that
And Arkans at least will understand this, but anyone who doesn't think rotaries have bad traffic or a lot of accidents should try driving the fresh pond rotary over by alewife, especially during rush hour.
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