View Full Version : Cheating on the Significant Other (spouse, partner, etc.)
Apotheosis
08-25-2005, 07:42 PM
Ok, that's it. I feel the need to get this off my chest.
I am all for cheating on spouse's, boyfriend's, girlfriend's, whomever.
It's about time people had the balls to say 'No!' to their annoying partner, regardless if you've been together for 50 years or 5 weeks.
Seriously. If you are not happy in a relationship, it's better to be honest with yourself and move on, then to stick with any pain and anguish you may be going through.
If you have children, which is worse? Continuing a household where the husband/wife continue to act as poor role-models for them (the children). Or would it be better for both parties involved to move on and try to raise the children after seperation?
ElanthianSiren
08-25-2005, 08:02 PM
I'm all for breaking up BEFORE you cheat. If you're even contemplating it seriously, do yourself a favour and end it.
You'll just end up wishing you had sooner.
-M
Warriorbird
08-25-2005, 08:44 PM
Yeah. I think telling someone it doesn't work is great. That doesn't equate to being for cheating on a patner.
Cheating = selfish and cowardly by not breaking up before you jump into bed with someone else. God, just get it the hell over with and fuck with a clean conscience.
I'll try not to rant too much, but this is a major push-button topic for me. I don't understand what's so hard about growing a fucking backbone and telling the person you're with that it's over BEFORE you screw someone else. I mean, when you think of the horrible, long-lasting damage it can do to a person when you cheat on them, it should be a no-brainer to avoid it by breaking up first.
Cheating has got to be one of the most selfish and cowardly acts one person can do to another that they supposedly care about. How could anyone be so callous, so thoughtlessly cruel?
Grr. Just typing this makes me want to floss cheaters' genitalia with razor wire. Thanks for giving me something to work off at the gym.
[Edited on 8-26-2005 by DCSL]
ElanthianSiren
08-25-2005, 08:58 PM
Don't hold back, Dextra. How do you REALLY feel? I mean... in your heart. ..tehehehe
-M
Jolena
08-25-2005, 09:01 PM
jesus christ, mary and joseph. She said 'floss their genitalia with razor wire'. Holy shit. That's some serious shit. :scared:
crazymage
08-25-2005, 09:17 PM
:eek:
SpunGirl
08-25-2005, 10:00 PM
Remind me never to cheat on Dextra!
-K
The Cat In The Hat
08-25-2005, 10:28 PM
Originally posted by Yswithe
If you have children, which is worse? Continuing a household where the husband/wife continue to act as poor role-models for them (the children). Or would it be better for both parties involved to move on and try to raise the children after seperation?
Thats exactly what I did. I left now while she's 3 rather than wait until she's 10 and has the mental compasity to think it's her fault.
I used to be upset that he hardly paid attention to her, now I'm thankful for it because it seems she doesn't miss him, and she never asks about him or mentions him even though he calls her a few times a week.
I'd prolly never cheat on anyone.
But I'd mos def find a hookup the next day and fuck her brains blue.
Apotheosis
08-25-2005, 11:12 PM
Well, lets put this in perspective. Sometimes, to facilitate a breakup, one needs to cheat.
I know that we don't live in an ideal society, and not everyone has the spine to say something to their partner.
I've had at least 4 relationships due to the fact that the girl was tired of her boyfriend, but couldn't "end" the relationship, so she needed to cheat to get out.
Naturally, I didn't stay with the women because we never would have worked out in the long run. But she completely understood that before anything happened.
I've tried to rationalize my actions only because it seems rather difficult in today's cultural climate to form a "normal" relationship based on friendship. Therefore, I have come to accept the fact that most of my relationships are going to be based off of someone else's failed ones.
So I ask, which is worse? To "cheat" out of a relationship into a new one, or to continue to suffer abuse, misery, and pain. Or is it worse to continue staying in one longer then is healthy in order to maintain the security that comes with "being" in a relationship?
cheats should be shot.
note avatar
Apotheosis
08-25-2005, 11:16 PM
Hey, as far as I am concerned, if there wasn't a problem in the relationship, then the cheater would never cheat. :D
Therefore, both parties are at fault when the other cheats.
SpunGirl
08-25-2005, 11:18 PM
I don't think all people cheat because they see it as a way to get out of the relationship.
-K
Apotheosis
08-25-2005, 11:23 PM
Well, what other reasons do people cheat?
One reason, I think, is attention. If a partner is being ignored, perhaps they cheat to get the other ones attentions.
Another reason, is that perhaps the "cheater" has commitment issues, and therefore, should not be in a relationship in the first place.
Finally, the only other reason I can see is revenge. Perhaps the "cheater" feels a need to get back at the partner as some sort of twisted punishment.
I am having a hard time figuring this out, but for some reason, I seem to be a magnet for women that want to cheat on their boyfriends. I am starting to not enjoy that very much, and for the most part tell them to go away. If I see that their boyfriend is neglectful, abusive, or somehow mistreating the woman, then I consent.
SpunGirl
08-25-2005, 11:29 PM
LOL. I hate to say it, Yswithe, but it seems like you're just the stud horse for women that need a little something on the side. If you were a woman, people would say you're the whore on the side. Either it's because they need an excuse, as you say, or need something kind of attention they're not getting in the relationship.
I think cheating can come about because let's face it, sex with someone you've been with for years is NOT the same (and cannot be the same) as sex with someone for the first time, or on an inconsistent basis. And sex with someone for the first time can NEVER be the same as sex with someone you love, trust and have been with for years. Sometimes people just crave something different.
-K
Guys like to stick their dick in differ things... Women like a variety of dick...
You forgot that reason.
Apotheosis
08-25-2005, 11:33 PM
Originally posted by SpunGirl
LOL. I hate to say it, Yswithe, but it seems like you're just the stud horse for women that need a little something on the side. If you were a woman, people would say you're the whore on the side. Either it's because they need an excuse, as you say, or need something kind of attention they're not getting in the relationship.
I think cheating can come about because let's face it, sex with someone you've been with for years is NOT the same (and cannot be the same) as sex with someone for the first time, or on an inconsistent basis. And sex with someone for the first time can NEVER be the same as sex with someone you love, trust and have been with for years. Sometimes people just crave something different.
-K
But even man whores need love :(
Toxicvixen
08-25-2005, 11:36 PM
If you think you need to cheat you are obviously not satisfied with the relationship. If you aren't satisfied with the relationship get of it. Regardless of children or living arrangements. The children are much happier if the parents are happy.
Tisket
08-25-2005, 11:37 PM
Originally posted by Yswithe
But even man whores need love :(
I thought you were a chick. The handle is very misleading.
[Edited on 8-26-2005 by Tisket]
Apotheosis
08-25-2005, 11:40 PM
Originally posted by Tisket
Originally posted by Yswithe
But even man whores need love :(
I thought you were a chick. The handle is very misleading.
[Edited on 8-26-2005 by Tisket]
Geee, sorry for not having a "manly" name.
You are a sexist facist stereotyping male. You need to go attend some women's studies courses, and I think some anger management and diversity courses will help you as well.
[/sarcasm]
:D
Tisket
08-25-2005, 11:41 PM
Originally posted by Dave
cheats should be shot.
But at least I am SURE you are a chick.
Tisket
08-25-2005, 11:42 PM
<<You are a sexist facist stereotyping male. You need to go attend some women's studies courses, and I think some anger management and diversity courses will help you as well. >>
lol been there, done that. Flunked.
Originally posted by Tisket
Originally posted by Dave
cheats should be shot.
But at least I am SURE you are a chick.
No, I have morals.
There are to many women around this area who are married and looking for dick at the bar. Problem is most of them are married to husbands that are deployed.
I despise those women.
I don't cheat, when I feel I am in a relationship. Call it a good upbringing, or respecting the person I am in a relationship with, or just stupid, but it makes me not have anything on my conscience when i go to sleep at night.
[Edited on 8-26-2005 by Dave]
[Edited on 8-26-2005 by Dave]
Apotheosis
08-25-2005, 11:57 PM
I agree with Dave on the deployed part. If I found out a woman wanted to cheat on her husband who was deployed, I'd be like, "Damn, I hope you don't have any children.".
For me, this is how it starts:
Either I work on a business project with woman, or, I am taking a class with her. Usually it starts with being like, "Damn, she's cute.". We become friends, then one month later, I find out she has a boyfriend. Usually, she spends all her spare time hanging out with me, and I'm like "You should be hanging out with your boyfriend.". She's all like, "<insert any reason for her to hate her boyfriend here.>.
Note that it takes a month, after we spent time developing a friendship before she brings it up. Note that I bring up the relationship thing, which she promptly puts down.
SpunGirl
08-25-2005, 11:58 PM
Maybe you should stop meeting women in this way. If you want a real relationship vs being the fuck toy, this is not the way to go about it.
-K
Originally posted by Yswithe
I agree with Dave on the deployed part. If I found out a woman wanted to cheat on her husband who was deployed, I'd be like, "Damn, I hope you don't have any children.".
There is so much of it around here, I've become jaded. You also have a whole lot of the MARRY A SOLDIER, then divorce him so you get half his money for the rest of your life.
Women can be evil creatures. At least guys just do it for the sex.
Terminator X
08-26-2005, 12:01 AM
Maybe you should cut things off with the relationship before other things begin getting cut off...
...Sometimes, people can do very, very mean things back to you when confronted with the hidden truth. I'd check through a couple of shop receipts to see if any razor wire's been purchased at the local grocery store recently...
And God help you if you've actually brought kids into this mess. But, in case you have, I think it would be slightly wiser to live behind the familiar slogan of, "Things just didn't work out," than start hurting even more people by your retardism.
- The Termite
P.S. Here's a smilie: :spin: in case that sounded kind of rough.
Apotheosis
08-26-2005, 12:03 AM
#1 Rule, I don't get involved with women who have children
#2 Rule, if a woman is in what I view as a healthy relationship, and I think her boyfriend's a good guy, I will not get involved.
#3 Rule, I don't talk about fight club.
Terminator X
08-26-2005, 12:07 AM
Ah, ok.
Not a fan of the cheating here. I’m of the mind that if I did that, it would get thrown right back at me... and I’d rather not someone cheat on me.
Karma’s a bitch.
Warriorbird
08-26-2005, 01:16 PM
"Well, lets put this in perspective. Sometimes, to facilitate a breakup, one needs to cheat. "
Man. People must just be wusses.
Sean of the Thread
08-26-2005, 01:18 PM
I'm of the philosophy of no girlfriend = fuck whoever and whenever you want just to get off.
Jorddyn
08-26-2005, 01:30 PM
Originally posted by Yswithe
Well, lets put this in perspective. Sometimes, to facilitate a breakup, one needs to cheat.
Why can you (general) not instead just say, "It is over"? Is it to force the other one to break up with you? Is it because it is easier? Either way, that's a chicken shit way to do it. Break it off, then go stick whatever you want wherever you want with whomever you want.
Jorddyn
CrystalTears
08-26-2005, 01:35 PM
Right. So that they can say to their friends, "hey she broke up with me" and come off innocent, so long as he doesn't mention what he DID to get dumped.
People are slime to stoop so low as to cheat to help facilitate a breakup. What's even more slick is when your spouse at the time cheats on you with their ex because he thinks you may be having an affair with someone you were talking to online and never met. :rolleyes: No, I'm not bitter!
Apotheosis
08-26-2005, 01:37 PM
Originally posted by Jorddyn
Originally posted by Yswithe
Well, lets put this in perspective. Sometimes, to facilitate a breakup, one needs to cheat.
Why can you (general) not instead just say, "It is over"? Is it to force the other one to break up with you? Is it because it is easier? Either way, that's a chicken shit way to do it. Break it off, then go stick whatever you want wherever you want with whomever you want.
Jorddyn
remember, I'm not the one who cheats to get out of relationships. This is a woman thing.
Jorddyn
08-26-2005, 02:08 PM
Originally posted by Yswithe
Originally posted by Jorddyn
Originally posted by Yswithe
Well, lets put this in perspective. Sometimes, to facilitate a breakup, one needs to cheat.
Why can you (general) not instead just say, "It is over"?
Jorddyn
remember, I'm not the one who cheats to get out of relationships. This is a woman thing.
1. I didn't blame you.
2. It's both a woman thing and a man thing.
Jorddyn
CrystalTears
08-26-2005, 02:18 PM
Originally posted by Yswithe
remember, I'm not the one who cheats to get out of relationships.
But you condone it. Makes you just as guilty in my eyes.
This is a woman thing.
This is a man AND woman thing.
weasel82
08-26-2005, 02:19 PM
One way or another, there is no rational excuse for cheating....
Not problems in the relationship, not commitment issues, not anything...
Just masturbate instead
Don't cheat, Just beat the meat...
weasel82
08-26-2005, 02:19 PM
lmao...
weasel82
08-26-2005, 02:22 PM
sorry, having a hard time taking this topic seriously...
everyone knows cheating is wrong...even those who refuse to accept the little voice in the back of their head telling them it's wrong know it's wrong.
Just break it off first...
Threesomes I don't buy either...I'd love to do one, but only if I didn't love or care about the other two I was with...
It has to do with cheating...seriously
AnticorRifling
08-26-2005, 02:38 PM
Cheating is not something I personally agree with. I won't do it, ever. Do I think less of other people that do it? Not really, they aren't me and I'm not them.
Cheating is bad.
Married women who cheat with men or women because they feel neglected by their husbands at home are bad.
Married men who cheat with men and women and neglect their wives at home are bad.
The viscious cycle of cheating altogether is bad.
Moral: Have lots of sex when you're married.
fiendwish
08-26-2005, 05:52 PM
When are we going to get over this foolish notion of monogamy? Exactly when has it ever worked? What are the percentages?
Sean of the Thread
08-26-2005, 05:56 PM
I like to fuck.
4a6c1
08-26-2005, 06:07 PM
^what he said
SpunGirl
08-26-2005, 06:31 PM
Originally posted by fiendwish
When are we going to get over this foolish notion of monogamy? Exactly when has it ever worked? What are the percentages?
I've read things that said women cheat more than men, and that men don't admit it as often.... and bla bla. The problem is that we'll never know for sure because in every case, someone is lying.
-K
I have been in my share of relationships with woman who have struggled with maintaining a passionless marriages where all they want is to feel desired, loved, and wanted plus have some awesome sex on the side. Cheating is still bad no matter how you look at it. If you have a problem with committment you should make it known before you get married or enter into a serious relationship. There are options such as having an open relationship or simply dating while making it known that you will be seeing other people.
I'm at a place in my life now where I look back on my wild bachelorette days and shake my head at some of my former actions that involved women who were married.
Yswithe, I know how you feel and I went through a period of trying to justify and rationalize as well but there is always someone who gets hurt in the end.
There is no excuse to hurt someone or be privy to someone being hurt in a relationship when the sensible thing to do is walk away and stop pretending.
Warriorbird
08-26-2005, 07:22 PM
"When are we going to get over this foolish notion of monogamy? Exactly when has it ever worked? What are the percentages?"
For quite a while.
The average polyamorous relationship lasts 90 days.
Kainen
08-26-2005, 07:35 PM
Cheating is a pussy ass thing to do.. why? Because if you want it so bad that you risk ruining the relationship, you are better off sucking it up and breaking it off with your partner first. I have NO sympathy for people who cheat. I never gave a second chance to someone who cheated on me and I have never regreted it.
Sean of the Thread
08-26-2005, 08:46 PM
Originally posted by JihnasSpirit
^what he said
FOXTROT UNIFORM CHARLIE KILO MIKE ECHO baby!
Latrinsorm
08-26-2005, 09:54 PM
You're in luck, Xyelin. Jihna :love:s t3h emos.
ElanthianSiren
08-26-2005, 10:14 PM
Originally posted by Xyelin
I like to fuck.
Originally posted by JihnasSpirit
^what he said
Originally posted by DeV
Cheating is bad.
Married women who cheat with men or women because they feel neglected by their husbands at home are bad.
Married men who cheat with men and women and neglect their wives at home are bad.
The viscious cycle of cheating altogether is bad.
Moral: Have lots of sex when you're married.
...Which is what makes what Dev said all the more important. There is little better than a good communicative sex life with someone you love imo.
-M
Sean of the Thread
08-26-2005, 10:16 PM
I love you. (and your nipple)
[Edited on 8-27-2005 by Xyelin]
4a6c1
08-26-2005, 10:39 PM
BWAHAHAHAHA
longshot
08-27-2005, 01:56 PM
Originally posted by Yswithe
Ok, that's it. I feel the need to get this off my chest.
I am all for cheating on spouse's, boyfriend's, girlfriend's, whomever.
It's about time people had the balls to say 'No!' to their annoying partner, regardless if you've been together for 50 years or 5 weeks.
Seriously. If you are not happy in a relationship, it's better to be honest with yourself and move on, then to stick with any pain and anguish you may be going through.
Did you go to the Dave/Edine school of logic?
You're contradicting yourself...
You say you are for cheating... but then you say that it's better to be honest and move on to better things.
These two things are very different.
Owning up and breaking it off is commendable, and it's not cheating.
Why would you have to cheat if you have balls to do this in the first place?
Killer Kitten
08-27-2005, 08:59 PM
I don't cheat on Mike. As far as I know he doesn't cheat on me.
Still, I have nothing to say about those who do. I haven't lived their life and have no idea how I'd react to their experiences if I were put in their place.
Passing judgement on other people is for wiser souls than I.
Warriorbird
08-27-2005, 11:54 PM
:P Except poor Lance. You have no love for Mr. Armstrong.
Killer Kitten
08-28-2005, 08:40 AM
Originally posted by Warriorbird
:P Except poor Lance. You have no love for Mr. Armstrong.
Lance went beyond cheating. He dumped the wife who bore his kids and who stood by him through the lean years and the cancer. Why? Because some singer shook her ass at him.
Yep, no love for Lance.
TheRoseLady
08-28-2005, 09:55 AM
Originally posted by Killer Kitten
Still, I have nothing to say about those who do. I haven't lived their life and have no idea how I'd react to their experiences if I were put in their place.
Passing judgement on other people is for wiser souls than I.
------
Lance went beyond cheating. He dumped the wife who bore his kids and who stood by him through the lean years and the cancer. Why? Because some singer shook her ass at him.
Yep, no love for Lance.
Interesting about face, eh? So what you really mean is that if they aren't a celebrity whose life we can follow through the tabloids - THEN you don't pass judgement.
We have no idea about Lance Armstrong's personal life. We have absolutely no idea if they just grew apart and their split was amicable, if it was a knock-down drag out - or perhaps SHE stepped out on him and started the downward spiral of their marriage.
Apotheosis
08-28-2005, 11:53 AM
Originally posted by longshot
Originally posted by Yswithe
Ok, that's it. I feel the need to get this off my chest.
I am all for cheating on spouse's, boyfriend's, girlfriend's, whomever.
It's about time people had the balls to say 'No!' to their annoying partner, regardless if you've been together for 50 years or 5 weeks.
Seriously. If you are not happy in a relationship, it's better to be honest with yourself and move on, then to stick with any pain and anguish you may be going through.
Did you go to the Dave/Edine school of logic?
You're contradicting yourself...
You say you are for cheating... but then you say that it's better to be honest and move on to better things.
These two things are very different.
Owning up and breaking it off is commendable, and it's not cheating.
Why would you have to cheat if you have balls to do this in the first place?
Ok Longshot, you caught me. I just started this thread for the sake of being an attention whore. :D
But in some cases I do advocate cheating, because it sometimes seems to be the only way that some people can get out of unhealthy relationships.
Killer Kitten
08-29-2005, 12:42 AM
Originally posted by TheRoseLady
Originally posted by Killer Kitten
Still, I have nothing to say about those who do. I haven't lived their life and have no idea how I'd react to their experiences if I were put in their place.
Passing judgement on other people is for wiser souls than I.
------
Lance went beyond cheating. He dumped the wife who bore his kids and who stood by him through the lean years and the cancer. Why? Because some singer shook her ass at him.
Yep, no love for Lance.
Interesting about face, eh? So what you really mean is that if they aren't a celebrity whose life we can follow through the tabloids - THEN you don't pass judgement.
We have no idea about Lance Armstrong's personal life. We have absolutely no idea if they just grew apart and their split was amicable, if it was a knock-down drag out - or perhaps SHE stepped out on him and started the downward spiral of their marriage.
No, what I meant is if they aren't Lance Armstrong I don't pass judgement. <g> I got nothing to say about Brad Pitt, for example.
No love for Lance.
Amber
08-29-2005, 01:10 AM
Originally posted by Yswithe
But in some cases I do advocate cheating, because it sometimes seems to be the only way that some people can get out of unhealthy relationships.
What an unhealthy way to get out of an unhealthy relationship. Outta the pot and into the fire.
Apotheosis
08-29-2005, 01:31 AM
Originally posted by Amber
Originally posted by Yswithe
But in some cases I do advocate cheating, because it sometimes seems to be the only way that some people can get out of unhealthy relationships.
What an unhealthy way to get out of an unhealthy relationship. Outta the pot and into the fire.
well, no-one is perfect.
Originally posted by Yswithe
But in some cases I do advocate cheating, because it sometimes seems to be the only way that some people can get out of unhealthy relationships. That is the way they choose to end the relationship. It is cowardly and definitely not their only choice but I can see why some people opt to take that route. It is in fact easier in some cases to not address the real problems but instead create a new one and focus the relationship ending on that alone.
It's odd how people feel it harder to just tell the truth but instead they lie and cheat their way out of something they don't want any longer anyway.
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