Worse gift ever, poop on a fork

[The Cat In The Hat]

My daughter's a real piece of work.

This morning, she painted our white multi-poos head pink with cherry kool-aid.

Yesterday, and this was fun..

Aparently the puppy pottied in the kitchen while Guin and I were snuggling on the couch watching cartoons. She gets up and goes in the kitchen and I hear the silverwear drawer rattle, so I call out and ask her what shes doing. before I can go check I hear her feet stomping down the hall and she comes in and thrusts a fork under my nose. "Mommy, smell." :insert mad laughter on her part here:

There, on the shiney silver fork was the unmistakable shape and smell of dog poop.

[4a6c1]

roflmao

[SayGoodbye]

I may be a relatively new poster here, but somehow I wasn't surprised when I saw who was the first to respond to this thread. :whistle:

[CrystalTears]

LOL! You and me both.

With stories like this, I'm so eager for a kid of my own.

Not.

[Czeska]

Somehow my daughter found it hysterical last night to yell "BOOBS!" on the phone (followed by mad cackling) to my mother over and over again.

[Tisket]

I once got William Shatner's album "Spaced Out". You have not lived until you have heard Leonard Nimoy and Shatner sing "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds". I would rather have received poop on a fork.

To be fair it was a work Christmas party with a gift giving theme: "the tackier the better"

[Terminator X]

POOP is cute! What's the problem :?:

[4a6c1]

Originally posted by SayGoodbye
I may be a relatively new poster here, but somehow I wasn't surprised when I saw who was the first to respond to this thread. :whistle:

Haha! WHAT?!! its FUNNY!

[4a6c1]

Oh. I was shopping sometime last week and the kid in line with mommy in front of me called out at the topped of his lungs EVERY SINGLE number of her pin as she punched it in on the little debit card machine. I was laughing my ass off. And secretly postponing the children years myself. :D

[JadeScarlet]

I remember when I was in Kenya and we were walking around in a field and there were lots of roundish grassy deposits, which our guide told us was elephant poop. Then we find one huge pile of grassy elephant poop next to a small pile of poop. The guide told us it was a mother's poop and a baby's poop. I thought that little tiny pile of baby elephant poop was the cutest pile of poop I ever saw.

[Jolena]

Okay YOU, yeah YOU have issues. Eww.

[SpunGirl]

DOFL. Little kid anecdotes like that are hilarious.

Once for April Fool's Day, I thought it would be funny to put rocks from the backyard into my parents' pillows (I was about six). I went outside with their pillows and a shovel and snickered as I replaced the rock-filled pillows.

My mom came in my room later to announce that not only had I gotten rocks in the pillows, but accidentally threw in a few pieces of nice mushy poop too. She kept accusing my dad of farting before they figured out what it was.

-K

[Sean of the Thread]

HEHEHEH.. parents blaming each other for farting is funny. Especially when it is your grandmother who shit her self.

[Edited on 8-23-2005 by Xyelin]

[Aaysia]

Originally posted by JadeScarlet
I remember when I was in Kenya and we were walking around in a field and there were lots of roundish grassy deposits, which our guide told us was elephant poop. Then we find one huge pile of grassy elephant poop next to a small pile of poop. The guide told us it was a mother's poop and a baby's poop. I thought that little tiny pile of baby elephant poop was the cutest pile of poop I ever saw.
:lol:

[Andreal]

For some reason, the word poop alone makes me think of vomitting.

[The Cat In The Hat]

Shes done some really funny things that I felt like screaming over at the time.

The time she thought my expensive suede jacket looked a little dry so she decided to put my vanilla lotion with glitter all over it. Loved that dry cleaning bill but it came out thankfully.

Or the time she learned to draw an H, and my husband had left a black sharpie out. Luckilly she woke up early and had time to decorate every downstairs wall with her beautiful H's.

Kids are amazing and sometimes want to make you jump off a cliff :)

[Czeska]

My favorite kid poop story:

When my daughter was 3, she had shamrock cookies at day care a few days before St. Patrick's Day. Well, any mother knows what food coloring does to a kid ...

That night, she calls me in to the bathroom for a little help, and as she's pulling her pants up, I happen to glance in the toilet.

"Katie, why's your poop green."

[singsong voice] "Cause it's almost St Patrick's dayyyyyy!"

[Jolena]

:lol2: Damn that's too funny. And yes, kids do amazingly cute yet frustrating things.

My ex-husband and I were at a grocery store when Jolene was around 2 and she passed gas while standing in the check out line. It was one of the silent but deadly ones.

So while we're standing there, trying not to vomit from the smell, she suddenly turns to her father and says "Dad! Mama pooted! And it smells funny too!" and EVERYONE in the line and surrounding lines gave me this disgusted and amused look. I about died. He of course found it hysterical because he'd coached her to do this in public if she passed gas, unbeknownst to me, and he thought it hiliarous that I ended up being the person she blamed it on.

[The Cat In The Hat]

:LOL:

I told my daughter the Gypsies were going to come get her if she wasnt nice. BIG mistake...

I took her to see her new pediatrician and this nice lady just happened to be medium skinned. I forget what culture she is, and I have never told my daughter what a Gypsie looked like. She freaked out and wouldn't let the doctor touch her :(

[CrystalTears]

:lol: Bad mommy!

[Czeska]

My dad taught my daughter to say she has donnerhosen if she has gas.

It's german, and translates to.. Thunder pants. :shrug:

They find this funny as hell.

[The Cat In The Hat]

Originally posted by CrystalTears
:lol: Bad mommy!

But im so good at being bad... wait thats another topic all together. Carry on...

[Sweets]

Ahhhh poop stories. Just the other day, Justin, now almost 2, handed me my first wonderful gift of poop. He jams his hand down his bib shorts and pulls out his diaper like on Zoolander. I thought this was adorable until the day he came out with something different.

"Poopie!"

His first sentence was "Dada poopie!". The bathroom was a bit on the ripe side when he and I went to brush out teeth one night. He assumed the smell was from his Dada.

The adorable stories could go on forever. I am now going to teach him how to say that german phase for thunder pants.

Say donnerhosen for Mommy.:D

[SpunGirl]

My husband has taught his three-year old cousin, when he needs to poop, to say, "I have to drop a deuce." His parents were SO thrilled.

-K

[MangledKitty]

Ah, the stories are so funny. But all I can say is atleast she didn't write H's all over the downstairs walls with the dog poop.

[Electrawn]

Dunno, Dog poop is easier to clean than sharpie!

[MangledKitty]

Hah, true. But I'm not sure which smell is more tolerable.

[Anebriated]

Heh, if you cant take the smell of sharpies I suggest never being the first to pass out when you go to college.

[The Cat In The Hat]

Originally posted by MangledKitty
Ah, the stories are so funny. But all I can say is atleast she didn't write H's all over the downstairs walls with the dog poop.

Knowing her she would have, but we didnt have a dog at the time.

[crazymage]

Shittiest thread EVER.

[4a6c1]

lol

cheesiest response evar