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View Full Version : Your Saviour Is At Hand



Messiah
08-05-2005, 09:40 PM
Ask And You Shall Receive. Its Really Quite Simple Really, But Some People Need A Little Helping Hand To Get Through. My Services Are Now Available. Free Of Charge.

Artha
08-05-2005, 09:42 PM
Man, this is still not funny.

Messiah
08-05-2005, 09:43 PM
Of Course Not. This Is Serious Business.

GWBush
08-05-2005, 09:47 PM
I have sinned.

Sean
08-05-2005, 09:48 PM
Lame.

Messiah
08-05-2005, 09:51 PM
Originally posted by GWBush
I have sinned.

I've Been Meaning To Have A Word With You. No Need To Thrash It All Out In Public. U2U Me.

Back
08-05-2005, 09:55 PM
Wow. Ok, will DC get nuked Mr. Mesiah guy?

Messiah
08-05-2005, 09:58 PM
I Do Not Predict The Future. I Am Nothing More Than An Inspiration.

Back
08-05-2005, 10:18 PM
Do you believe in Mohammad?

GWBush
08-05-2005, 10:19 PM
Originally posted by Backlash
Do you believe in Mohammad?

Isnt that the little guy in the sheet that fasted himself to death? They made a move about him I think starring Ben Kingsley.

Messiah
08-05-2005, 10:26 PM
Little Bushie Is Thinking Of Ghandi. Ghandi And Muhammod Are Two Different People. They Did Have A Common Bond However.

HarmNone
08-05-2005, 10:37 PM
Who needs a Savior? I need a Bailey's! :D

GWBush
08-05-2005, 10:42 PM
Hey God, maybe You can straighten something out. This whole prayer in school issue is keeping me up at nights. I think there should be organized prayer in school, in all workplaces, on public transportation, in malls, well, the list goes on and on. Congress and the American people keep thwarting me though. I think You would be the first to admit Your name is not invoked nearly enough.

Ohh and Mohommed, of course, I remember now, I met him at a state dinner once I believe.

Messiah
08-05-2005, 10:43 PM
Are We Not One In The Same? Comfort.

I Do Not Blame You Though. A Bailey's Can Be Most Comforting. And Tasty.

Messiah
08-05-2005, 10:49 PM
Originally posted by GWBush
Hey God, maybe You can straighten something out. This whole prayer in school issue is keeping me up at nights. I think there should be organized prayer in school, in all workplaces, on public transportation, in malls, well, the list goes on and on. Congress and the American people keep thwarting me though. I think You would be the first to admit Your name is not invoked nearly enough.

Ohh and Mohommed, of course, I remember now, I met him at a state dinner once I believe.

Well, First Off, I Have No Name. Do Not Ascribe Me To Your Notions Of What You Think I Might Be.

I Am What I Am. Like Popeye. Except I Am Not Fond Of Spinach.

What You Need To Do Is Look Deep. Yes, Deep. Deep Below Your Need For Cocaine, Women, And Drink. Deeper Than Your Admitant Resolutions To Be Proper. Look To He Who Sits Beside You And Ask Of Yourself, Is He Worth Death As A Brother?

GWBush
08-05-2005, 10:51 PM
Originally posted by Messiah

Originally posted by GWBush
Hey God, maybe You can straighten something out. This whole prayer in school issue is keeping me up at nights. I think there should be organized prayer in school, in all workplaces, on public transportation, in malls, well, the list goes on and on. Congress and the American people keep thwarting me though. I think You would be the first to admit Your name is not invoked nearly enough.

Ohh and Mohommed, of course, I remember now, I met him at a state dinner once I believe.

Well, First Off, I Have No Name. Do Not Ascribe Me To Your Notions Of What You Think I Might Be.

I Am What I Am. Like Popeye. Except I Am Not Fond Of Spinach.

What You Need To Do Is Look Deep. Yes, Deep. Deep Below Your Need For Cocaine, Women, And Drink. Deeper Than Your Admitant Resolutions To Be Proper. Look To He Who Sits Beside You And Ask Of Yourself, Is He Worth Death As A Brother?

not to reinforce a certain stereotype floating around about me but....huh?

Messiah
08-05-2005, 10:58 PM
The Truth Is Right In Front Of Your Face Yet You Question. You Avoid The Truth. It Is Not Surprising. You Are A Human Animal After All.

See, Most Of You Just Aren't Getting It. You Are Animal, But You Also Have A Gift Called Intellect.

Use It.

GWBush
08-05-2005, 11:01 PM
Originally posted by Messiah
You Are Animal, But You Also Have A Gift Called Intellect.

Use It.

I do? Er...of course I do. My assistant must've put it with the unused Christmas gifts. I will locate it and display it sir.

Chelle
08-05-2005, 11:07 PM
Mr.Messiah guy could you please appease my curiosity and tell me why you capitalize every word? Seen it before somewhere, just wondering.

GWBush
08-05-2005, 11:22 PM
Originally posted by Chelle
Mr.Messiah guy could you please appease my curiosity and tell me why you capitalize every word? Seen it before somewhere, just wondering.

I believe it is a thing all deities do. Draws attention to the power of their words. Hmm perhaps I need to start doing that as well. Yes I Believe That Would Insure My Words Are Met With More Respect By The Pesky American Public.

cajunlady
08-05-2005, 11:22 PM
Originally posted by Chelle
Mr.Messiah guy could you please appease my curiosity and tell me why you capitalize every word? Seen it before somewhere, just wondering.
I thought it was some code... should he be speaking mysteriously in cryptic tone?

GWBush
08-05-2005, 11:29 PM
Originally posted by cajunlady

Originally posted by Chelle
Mr.Messiah guy could you please appease my curiosity and tell me why you capitalize every word? Seen it before somewhere, just wondering.
I thought it was some code... should he be speaking mysteriously in cryptic tone?

This Wasn't Cryptic Enough For You?:

"What You Need To Do Is Look Deep. Yes, Deep. Deep Below Your Need For Cocaine, Women, And Drink. Deeper Than Your Admitant Resolutions To Be Proper. Look To He Who Sits Beside You And Ask Of Yourself, Is He Worth Death As A Brother?"

Edited Because I Forgot To Capitalize All My Words.

[Edited on 8-6-2005 by GWBush]

Chelle
08-05-2005, 11:30 PM
Georgie U R Hott. Btw, Do you like cigars?

:D

GWBush
08-05-2005, 11:32 PM
Originally posted by Chelle
Georgie U R Hott. Btw, Do you like cigars?

:D

Oh My Yes.

cajunlady
08-05-2005, 11:37 PM
This Wasn't Cryptic Enough For You?:

"What You Need To Do Is Look Deep. Yes, Deep. Deep Below Your Need For Cocaine, Women, And Drink. Deeper Than Your Admitant Resolutions To Be Proper. Look To He Who Sits Beside You And Ask Of Yourself, Is He Worth Death As A Brother?"

Edited Because I Forgot To Capitalize All My Words.

[Edited on 8-6-2005 by GWBush] [/quote]

George.. ask Dick to explain it. He's used to it ;)

GWBush
08-05-2005, 11:38 PM
Originally posted by cajunlady
This Wasn't Cryptic Enough For You?:

"What You Need To Do Is Look Deep. Yes, Deep. Deep Below Your Need For Cocaine, Women, And Drink. Deeper Than Your Admitant Resolutions To Be Proper. Look To He Who Sits Beside You And Ask Of Yourself, Is He Worth Death As A Brother?"

Edited Because I Forgot To Capitalize All My Words.

[Edited on 8-6-2005 by GWBush]

George.. ask Dick to explain it. He's used to it ;) [/quote]

My Dick Doesn't Talk To Me Anymore.

Chelle
08-05-2005, 11:43 PM
bwahahaha :lol:

Messiah
08-05-2005, 11:50 PM
Thats A Damn Shame.

cajunlady
08-05-2005, 11:51 PM
Blind Utterances. Live, Love, Sin, Hope. Its Theology!

*best I can do at the moment... Maybe I belong in George's Cabinet.*

GWBush
08-05-2005, 11:53 PM
<Thats A Damn Shame.>


Then do something about it! You could put Viagra out of business with just a thought. I...er...Laura would be very grateful.





[Edited on 8-6-2005 by GWBush]

cajunlady
08-05-2005, 11:54 PM
well... not that I actually believe it all is *chuckle* too late for me to be posting. G'Night!

Messiah
08-05-2005, 11:55 PM
If You Think You Belong In George's Cabinet, Be Ready For The Media Blitz.

BTW, George Does Not Keep A Traditional Cabinet Like Most Past Presidents. No Sirree. He Has His Own Circle.

Messiah
08-05-2005, 11:59 PM
Originally posted by GWBush
<Thats A Damn Shame.>


Then do something about it! You could put Viagra out of business with just a thought. I...er...Laura would be very grateful.





[Edited on 8-6-2005 by GWBush]

Eh, Thats Not My Problem. Poor Laura.

Artha
08-06-2005, 08:39 AM
Dude, the shift key does not need to be pressed right after the space key.

Showal
08-06-2005, 01:06 PM
I remember when I first started posting here about a year ago, there weren't as many "joke" poster names. Like Hulk, Barbie, Messiah, GWBush, etc ... I've noticed they recently started popping up. Is this something that usually goes on or is this a new trend of not funny humor?

Latrinsorm
08-06-2005, 01:23 PM
Originally posted by Showal
a new trend of not funny humor:yes:

Way to leave out the Coach. You'll never make Varisty now!!

Showal
08-06-2005, 01:43 PM
so it is just a trend of humorless humor?

I left out a few others too, the coach won't get his due today.

The only funny "parody" poster I would say is mr. analog.

GWBush
08-06-2005, 03:27 PM
Originally posted by Showal

weak in the form of typing like an asshole young showal is.

I think the above quote is wrong actually. You excel in it.

Artha
08-06-2005, 03:53 PM
He's pretty spot on. With the exception of Mr. Analog, these aren't funny.

Ravenstorm
08-06-2005, 04:01 PM
Not at all funny. More and more, an ignore poster option is a feature these boards need.

Raven

GWBush
08-08-2005, 03:13 AM
Holy shit, the humor police are on patrol! What I find interesting is that at least four people were having a spot of fun during a slow posting time. Probably only amusing to themselves but since when do you need a consensus to have a little fun.



Originally posted by Ravenstorm
Not at all funny. More and more, an ignore poster option is a feature these boards need.

I, however, found YOUR comment hilarious. Coming as it does from one so lacking in humor.

Also, for god's sake, quit whining for an ignore poster feature. If you haven't figured out how to back out of a thread you are not interested in by now you are not as bright as you like to believe yourself to be. It's pathetic that you need your hand held in order to ignore a poster or a thread. Believe me, I have NO problem ignoring YOUR threads. Your handle should have been "TheBigYawn".

DeV
08-08-2005, 12:58 PM
Originally posted by Showal
so it is just a trend of humorless humor?
That's how I've always looked at it...

Kainen
08-08-2005, 01:04 PM
Originally posted by DeV

Originally posted by Showal
so it is just a trend of humorless humor?
That's how I've always looked at it...

That's about it. It's annoying at best, so since there isnt a "poster ignore" feature.. I just try and ignore the people that do this stupid crap.

Barbie
08-08-2005, 01:06 PM
:(

there arent enough talks about clothes and shoes and everyone talks way too much about the wrong bush but you dont see me complain. I only read about the stuff I like

some of you need to like lighten up and go on a trip in a camper or something. like for sure

DeV
08-08-2005, 01:29 PM
Camping is fun, Barbie, no doubt. Though it does interest me that you feel the wrong bush is being discussed more often than not.
I've been told to lighten up often, but it's usually whilst already in the throes of passion so I decline and go on about my business.

Though, I've always wondered how it would feel to go through a lifetime of having a permanently affixed smile, unbendinglimbs(GIJoe didn't even want to hit it!), and an absence of genitalia. I mean, wtf, even your predecessor Lilli was known for her large breasts and sexy clothing. You've still got some catching up to do mama.

Barbie
08-08-2005, 01:36 PM
Originally posted by DeV
Though, I've always wondered how it would feel to go through a lifetime of having a permanently affixed smile, unbendinglimbs(GIJoe didn't even want to hit it!), and an absence of genitalia. I mean, wtf, even your predecessor Lilli was known for her large breasts and sexy clothing. You've still got some catching up to do mama.

Im always happy! I do everything with a smile. I can bend if I really want to (and yes, GI Joe hit it.. so did GI Harry, GI Buddy, and GI Sam) and I like the size of my breasts. A bit more than a handful. The only problem I have in life is that I have to support Ken. The bum.

DeV
08-08-2005, 01:57 PM
See, the satire isn't always that bad. Barbie isn't as dull as her genitilia after all. Oh and I don't think I'd call what I had my boys(GIJoe and Co.) do to you, hitting it. More like humping it, but whatever got their rocks off and yours! :yes:

Showal
08-08-2005, 03:53 PM
Originally posted by GWBush

Originally posted by Showal

weak in the form of typing like an asshole young showal is.

I think the above quote is wrong actually. You excel in it.

Taking my quote out of context makes it wrong. I'm bad at typing like an asshole like the person who I said that about in that thread where you got the quote from. Other than that, I am fully capable of being an asshole. And me saying that these parody posting handles aren't funny is not me being an asshole, it's me being pretty accurate.

Ok, so you're bored. You make a few joke posting names and have a fake conversation. People say it's not funny and you get really defensive and call me an asshole and someone else humorless.

I'm really sorry I didn't find your fake conversation funny. I would really like you to have another one again soon and I promise I won't comment and say it's not funny. I will make a fake posting name as well and join in. I was wrong, this was a lot of fun.

[Edited on 8-8-2005 by Showal]

Janarth
08-09-2005, 11:05 AM
Messiah, you every play a MUD called NM? Person there used to type like that...every word was capitalized. Shadow? Its really wierd how you remember wierd typing habits.

Chelle
08-09-2005, 04:11 PM
Originally posted by GWBush
Holy shit, the humor police are on patrol! What I find interesting is that at least four people were having a spot of fun during a slow posting time. Probably only amusing to themselves but since when do you need a consensus to have a little fun.



Originally posted by Ravenstorm
Not at all funny. More and more, an ignore poster option is a feature these boards need.

I, however, found YOUR comment hilarious. Coming as it does from one so lacking in humor.

Also, for god's sake, quit whining for an ignore poster feature. If you haven't figured out how to back out of a thread you are not interested in by now you are not as bright as you like to believe yourself to be. It's pathetic that you need your hand held in order to ignore a poster or a thread. Believe me, I have NO problem ignoring YOUR threads. Your handle should have been "TheBigYawn".

Don't worry Dubya we all love you. And you too Messiah. rofl

I'm waiting for Barbie's little sister Skipper to make an appearance, and tell us the truth about whether or not Barbies boobs are real or not. :lol:

Skipper
08-09-2005, 06:33 PM
I can't believe that bitch has the audacity to post. Like, I can't believe that she actually took the time between changing her clothes 25 times today!

Of course they're fake. Faker than fake. Faker than Jessica Simpson's. (The 9 year old brat that owns me right now has a thing for the Simpson sisters AND fucking Mary Kate and Ashley. GAG!) At least she has boobs, though. Do you know what it's like to be trapped in this body? Only Janeane Garafalo could understand.

It's a good thing Ken doesn't have genitalia. He tried to molest me, but not a lot happened except grinding. I finally managed to get away and strand myself in our "luxe" three-story mansion elevator between floors. I tried to tell Barbie what happened, but she was too busy trying to sabotage the American Girls to care. Bitch. I hope our sadistic owner gnaws off her feet. She has an eating disorder, you know.

The paper ballerina had it made. Seriously.

Barbie
08-10-2005, 04:36 PM
*gawks* Oh girlfriend you didn't just go there. It's so broughten!

They are not fake. You're lookin at your own breasts in the mirror ya dumb blonde. You put on those pigtails too tight cause it's cuttin the blood from your teeny tiny brain.

Ken would screw a watermelon if he was bright enough to cut a hole into it. He's useless. I keep him around as a decoy.

Woman, step off my apartment. You're just jealous.