What the fuck?

[Chadj]

Ok, so I'm dating a girl again that I used to go out with a few months back.

However, while we were broken up, she met some Kyle guy that lives 8231503975 km away (New brunswick) and has developed a really close relationship with him.

Close as in, "I love you" close.

I talked to her about it last night, and she says she doesn't have feelings for him like that anymore, but I can honestly say I didn't trust that.. so I checked her e-mail. Sure enough, there was an e-mail from this Kyle guy in it. It was all "Oh no, you're going away for two weeks, gonna miss talking to you, gonna miss your smile a LOT" (several mentions of flirty shit like that) and ends with a few "I love you's" and a "LOVE, KYLE"

Now, do I have a right to be jealous, and to ask her that if this Kyle thing don't end, that I end my thing with her? I mean.. I am 99.99% sure I have the right to say this, but I don't really want to, cause she'd be all "OMG U DONT TRUST ME!!!!!!1111oneone".
:(

HPEL

[Edited on 7-23-2005 by Chadj]

[longshot]

I'm sure that since you supply this girl with drugs, you have very little to worry about.

[Chadj]

Ouch.

That hurts.

I mean, it's not like it's the only thing you've said about me for ever.

Very original.

[Artha]

Eh, if he lives that far away I'm sure you're fine. 1) He's far away. 2) He's the kind of guy with an internet girlfriend.

[Jolena]

The fact that you checked her email should be enough for her not to want to see you and vice versa.

[Kainen]

She's lying to you, of course you don't trust her.

[Chadj]

Originally posted by Jolena
The fact that you checked her email should be enough for her not to want to see you and vice versa.

I checked her e-mail, because I knew as a fact that she has some sort of "I love you thing" going on with another guy, meanwhile, she's denying it.

So umm.. yeah. I'm an asshole for that.

The thing is, I trust that she wants to be with me, and that she would never physically cheat on me, but I don't know if she considers this cheating. I do. I mean, it's nothing to worry about, but would you really want your girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever saying "I love you" to someone other than yourself?

[Jolena]

You're an asshole for invading her privacy, whether you think she's lying to you or not. I'm sorry if you don't understand it, but I feel very strongly about someone not invading my own privacy and I damned sure wouldn't do it to someone else.

Also, newsflash, if you fucking know she's lying to you then why in the hell would you want to be with her anyhow? Trust is the foundation for any relationship. If you don't have it now then it's not going to work anyhow.

[Snapp]

You're perfect for each other. :thumbsup:

[Terminator X]

as long as you get to stick your pp in it, she can lie all she wants!

[longshot]

Originally posted by Snapp
You're perfect for each other. :thumbsup:

I agree.

Have kids soon.

[Chadj]

Originally posted by Jolena
You're an asshole for invading her privacy, whether you think she's lying to you or not. I'm sorry if you don't understand it, but I feel very strongly about someone not invading my own privacy and I damned sure wouldn't do it to someone else.

Also, newsflash, if you fucking know she's lying to you then why in the hell would you want to be with her anyhow? Trust is the foundation for any relationship. If you don't have it now then it's not going to work anyhow.


She gave me her password willingly. Thus I had permission. Not really invading privacy then, now is it?

I would never have ever gone into her e-mail without her permission.

Anyways, I decided to just man up and talk to her about it. She basically says she doesn't really consider that cheating, but she fired an e-mail off to the guy saying that it just isn't happening anymore.

w00t.

[Sean]

Seriously, break up with her, that way you can save her from future psycho actions on your part. Reading people's emails .. wow.

[Chadj]

Meh. She gave me permission to log onto her e-mail account. Sorry, if I happen to see an e-mail in my girlfriend's inbox titled "I LOVE YOU", then you can certainly be sure I'm gonna open it.

[Edited on 7-23-2005 by Chadj]

[Jolena]

Permission or not, it's really a huge statement to your lack of trust in her. Which is the main reason you two shouldn't be together.

[Bobmuhthol]

<<You're an asshole for invading her privacy, whether you think she's lying to you or not.>>

Not to say that Chadj isn't an expert hacker (and he isn't), but how the fuck do you think he read someone's e-mail without their knowledge? If someone accesses my AIM, Hotmail, or Yahoo accounts, I already know exactly who it is.

While I haven't been reading e-mails, it's nice to be able to be assured that your other half is truly your better half. I certainly don't want to ignore the signs until the day I stumble upon a trapdoor leading to a vault of records of every bad act ever committed by the person. I'm sure Chadj doesn't, either.

[Jolena]

Well then, I hope your girlfriend doesn't matter if you read her mail either. I personally would be offended and I'm sure there are many others who would as well. He asked, we're commenting. :shrug:

His reading of her emails is still a huge statement to his trust or lack thereof in his girlfriend.

[ElanthianSiren]

Invasion of privacy is a huge thing for me too; my ex used to do it all the time. I don't just mean emails either. He snooped journals, computer files, old IMs, phone messages, even keylogged one computer -- to accomplish the same shit he could have found out asking me point blank.

Worse are the false conclusions that you will draw for yourself, and the ass you will make OF yourself bringing them up in conversations where you *think* you have an edge. The other person just sits there, eyebrow raised going, "Yea, so?" These things may suck to hear, but in the end, I despised my ex once all the things that he did had surfaced.

Tijay has a point; once you snoop, it leads to further snooping to try to confirm or deny what you have found. It is human nature. Further, it doesn't matter if she gave you access. You abused that access. Seriously, I'd cut your balls off and mail them to you after those fun experiences. I am biased though.

-M

[Latrinsorm]

The only way for him to abuse his access would be to give it to someone else without her knowledge. She gave him her password, and unless she specifically said "don't open emails from Josh", how is that abuse?

Anyway, for future reference: Just because a guy says stuff like that doesn't mean the girl feels the same way, *especially* when it comes to Internet stuff. There are lots of creepy guys out there.

[ElanthianSiren]

So if someone lives at my house with access to my mailbox, it's not a felony for them to open mail addressed to me?

-M

[Bobmuhthol]

<<Well then, I hope your girlfriend doesn't matter if you read her mail either.>>

Didn't I just say I don't read her e-mail?

<<I personally would be offended and I'm sure there are many others who would as well.>>

I would be offended if someone gave me their password and got pissed when I used it.

<<He snooped journals, computer files, old IMs, phone messages, even keylogged one computer>>

If he was any good, you wouldn't have known.

<<Tijay has a point; once you snoop, it leads to further snooping to try to confirm or deny what you have found. It is human nature.>>

That is so bullshit.

<<Further, it doesn't matter if she gave you access. You abused that access.>>

"HAVE MY E-MAIL ACCOUNT CHADJ!"
"Okay I'll read your e-mail."
"NO CHADJ DON'T!!!!!!!"

You have to be kidding.

[Hips]

lol.

Back when I was dating Greg, he did the exact same thing -- checking my e-mail to see if I was cheating on him, because he was suspicious.

[Bobmuhthol]

<<So if someone lives at my house with access to my mailbox, it's not a felony for them to open mail addressed to me?>>

HEY WOW, I FORGOT THAT THE UNITED STATES FEDERAL LAWS APPLY TO THE INTERNET. I HAVEN'T SEEN THE INTERNET PATROL IN A FEW DAYS, THOUGH, I THINK THEY'RE SLIPPING.

[Nieninque]

Do you read her diary as well?

Wanker.

[Artha]

Dear people: If you have to say something and you don't want anyone to read it, use an unlogged IM. Alternatively, don't give them your email's password.

[Bobmuhthol]

I use a 128-bit encrypted drive for any incriminating saved files. It is protected by a password that is unique from my others and is never going to be revealed to anyone. The drive sits on my desktop and is labeled 'Bobmuhthol'.

I suggest anyone else remotely concerned about privacy do the same.

[Artha]

Damn. I just hide all my porn in the Window's folder. You're dedicated.

[Tsa`ah]

Ok ... you're young, young enough to take this as a learning experience.

It doesn't matter if you had her password or not, it's that you invaded her privacy on a suspicion.

Let me explain something to you. You can't have a relationship ... a normal and stable relationship if there isn't trust. It sounds cheesy, but it is absolutely true. The moment you considered checking her e-mail was the moment you should have just walked away from the relationship.

I've said this to, and about, my wife countless times ... if you or I suspect the other of cheating or being dishonest (not talking about telling her that the pants don't make her ass look big), it's time to hang it up and go our separate ways.

Granted you're not married to this girl, so it's a little bit of an apple and an orange, but even at that level ... it's not worth it.

That and checking her e-mail crosses the line from normal guy to stalker.

How old are you 14? Checking her email, loser.

[HarmNone]

Sounds like you've tentatively worked it out between you, Chadj. However, it also sounds like you have some issues with trust and suspicion that need to be addressed. You also seem to have some disagreement between you as to what constitutes a strong friendship and where that crosses over into a romantic relationship. These are things you're going to need to talk about, in my opinion.

[Terminator X]

Originally posted by Chadj
Meh. She gave me permission to log onto her e-mail account. Sorry, if I happen to see an e-mail in my girlfriend's inbox titled "I LOVE YOU", then you can certainly be sure I'm gonna open it.
You could have been drawing a picture of guy holding a really big knife in the time it took you to read it
....Fhqwhgads....

[SpunGirl]

Ignoring all the other BS (except to say that I agree with Bob), let me relay a conversation to you that I had with my husband once.

I asked him if he'd be more upset if I had a one-night stand that was only about sex, or if I had a very intense "emotional affair" (emotional connection, whatever) with someone else but without physical contact. He said he'd be more bothered by the latter.

The point is that sex is just sex, but I think people tend to be much more threatened by the thought of their beloved becoming really emotionally close to someone else. That's the kind of thing that's harder to break off and more difficult to leave behind.

I understand why you did it. I've snooped in the past, even though I'm not exactly proud of it. Though in one case, it did lead me to discover a boyfriend that was having an ongoing thing with this total slut girl.

-K

[Rowi]

Dude, grab another woman on the side, and keep tapping that ass until she violates your privacy by finding you naked togather!!

Bitch shoulda knocked!

[Miss X]

Hahahaha. OMG <3 Rowi.

[ElanthianSiren]

Originally posted by Bobmuhthol

HEY WOW, I FORGOT THAT THE UNITED STATES FEDERAL LAWS APPLY TO THE INTERNET. I HAVEN'T SEEN THE INTERNET PATROL IN A FEW DAYS, THOUGH, I THINK THEY'RE SLIPPING.

Not at all Alex. The point is there was obviously some concern about privacy that such things are law, despite the individuals in question, (those in the household), having the means to access those documents. Not everyone does or does not do things purely for the sake of legality or lackthereof. It's a precedent. You don't snoop people's mail.

I agree on the text file though. It seems that if you needed to keep information secret, that is a better way. I used to keep docs passcoded when I first got out of that situation, but once I realized I'd not be in it again, I stopped bothering.

-M

[ElanthianSiren]

Damn, I hate when I half-finish posting thoughts.

The fact that this girl gave Chad her email and password, as well as not encrypting anything in a doc, makes me wonder how serious, if at all, she really takes all the I love yous and stuff.

End post.

-M

[Latrinsorm]

Originally posted by ElanthianSiren
So if someone lives at my house with access to my mailbox, it's not a felony for them to open mail addressed to me?It shouldn't be, but there are plenty of dumb laws. I'll write the Emperor about it later, if you'd like.

[Bobmuhthol]

<<It's a precedent. You don't snoop people's mail.>>

You know what else is a precedent? You don't give people your password. She broke one, Chadj broke its successor.

Who the fuck e-mails people in the first place? It's the least convenient convenience I've ever encountered for personal contact.

[Xcalibur]

Originally posted by Chadj
Ok, so I'm dating a girl again that I used to go out with a few months back.

However, while we were broken up, she met some Kyle guy that lives 8231503975 km away (New brunswick) and has developed a really close relationship with him.

Close as in, "I love you" close.

I talked to her about it last night, and she says she doesn't have feelings for him like that anymore, but I can honestly say I didn't trust that.. so I checked her e-mail. Sure enough, there was an e-mail from this Kyle guy in it. It was all "Oh no, you're going away for two weeks, gonna miss talking to you, gonna miss your smile a LOT" (several mentions of flirty shit like that) and ends with a few "I love you's" and a "LOVE, KYLE"

Now, do I have a right to be jealous, and to ask her that if this Kyle thing don't end, that I end my thing with her? I mean.. I am 99.99% sure I have the right to say this, but I don't really want to, cause she'd be all "OMG U DONT TRUST ME!!!!!!1111oneone".
:(

HPEL

[Edited on 7-23-2005 by Chadj]

That's an hypocrite yet VERY succesful way to break up with someone and being sure he won't harass you after.

Consider yourself less interesting than someone 2 provinces away FROM internet, HAHAHA LOSER

[Xcalibur]

Originally posted by GS3 Michiko
lol.

Back when I was dating Greg, he did the exact same thing -- checking my e-mail to see if I was cheating on him, because he was suspicious.

Because he was unsecure with himself and he knew you were going to leave him.

Those are the kind of people killing their family because if they can't have em, nobody will have em.

bastards.

[Hulkein]

You're both at fault... but at least what you did confirmed your suspicion, so you can tell her to gtfo and move on.

[DeV]

:yeahthat:

People will usually find what their looking for or something similiar when you have to resort to snooping, even if they provided you with their password.

But in a regular relationship, there has to be some aspect of privacy that should never be breeched willingly or not by either party.

I checked one of my ex's e-mails once and was shocked to learn of some things I was better off not knowing. Ever since I have never done the same to any other girlfriend and nor do I have the desire to ever do it again. It teaches you a lesson, and seeing that you're so young, hopefully you will learn that now. Without trust an air of insecurity will more than likely dominate, even when things seem to be going well, your going to be wondering in the back of your mind...

[Skirmisher]

Well said. :thumbsup: