Rock and a Hard Place

[Alcoholic]

Six months ago, I asked myself this same thing - and talked myself out of it.

I'm tired, though. I'm tired of fighting life and circumstance. The really difficult thing to swallow, though - is that the suffering is almost paid off.

After 3 or 4 years of stumbling, and the past year of facing homelessness more times than I have in my entire life, the light is at the end of the tunnel.

Yea, so?

Well, here's the rub. I still have to survive another month. Putting in 2 weeks notice for the crappy paying job was the "right" thing to do - but, it wasn't the smart thing to do.

Especially when he just fired me anyway. Now this job that I have, doesn't start for another couple of weeks. And then, you have to wait for the first paycheck.

Meanwhile, I'm pretty isolated here. Friends, family - have either disowned me, or in not much better shape than I am, financially.

Plus, with having been so close to the brink so much over the past few months, I've exhausted those resources - or - I'm scared to ask again. I dunno.

What's the point?

I run a relatively high profile older PC - and I thought - he's got a ton of crap - maybe I need to cash him out on E-Bay, or somewhere else.

That could be the cushion I need.

For five years of playing, that's all I really have to show for it, is his potential 'trade value' online.

If I had put this much effort into anything else over the past five years, I'd have more to show. But, I didn't. Heh.

I thought about this while I was up north, and was struggling. I thought - hey, I could cash out this and that, and I'd be in halfway decent shape.

I started to do it, things got better, and then I didn't.

The character's not particularly "liked" anyway, so I don't have to worry too much about the next player.

I don't know. I want to either be talked out of it, or be talked into it.

Otherwise, I have until Wednesday to pay my rent, so .. the decision has to be made pretty damn soon regardless.

It was suggested to sell off his items. To me, that's stupid. The items are part of the character - why keep the character, to play him, without the virtual items that are so much of the way I enjoy playing him. If I can't have both, I don't want either.

I've been kicking this around for 2 days in my head. Since Wednesday, when I realized I had a week left on my bills and zero money.

Figures my billing period ended when the billing office was closed for SimuCon- but that would really have only bought me a couple of days. I need to make a decision.

Yea, I thought I'd never even consider this, but then again - you only have to spend a couple hours downtown to know that that's not the place you want to call home. Being homeless when I still have some modicum of resources is not an option.

If that's offensive, I'm sorry. But, I need a roof over my head and food in my belly, not a high level virtual d&d character.

So.. fuck it? Do it? Or .. fuck no.. don't do it? Everyone will hate you, yada yada yada.

I just need to be talked into it or out of it. Or convincing arguments one way or the other. Or something.

I dunno. Why post here? Can't exactly post this on the official boards, now, can I? :-p

- Me.

You want to be talked in or out of it? Stop being so fucking emo and grow a pair. Make your own choice.

- Arkans

[StrayRogue]

Sell some items, then sell the silver for cash. From my experience selling your character (especially after so long and so much effort) will only lead you to regretting the choice. Pause the account, sell your computer, disconnect from the net.

[HarmNone]

Well, if I had one week left before the street became my home, I don't think I'd have any compunctions about cashing in whatever resources I had to make it through until I got a paycheck. An on-line game is NOT your life; or, at least, it shouldn't be. If you're out on the street, it's a cinch you're not going to be playing that character anyway, and your new job isn't going to appreciate your coming in to work without a shower, or clean clothes, eh?

It seems like common sense to me. I need to pay my rent, and survive until I receive a paycheck. I have a virtual character worth a few bucks...enough to tide me over. I guess I just have a little trouble seeing any forceful argument that would make keeping that character over having a place to live viable. :shrug:

[Back]

Sell the char and get off the crack.

[Brattt8525]

Sell the character, life is more important then lines of text or hell it should be.

[Delirium]

Sell the character i agree. Tho if you do wind up homeless you dont have to go to work stinky. Most truck stops have showers available and if you can scrounge up quarters for laundromats you will have clean clothes or heck the few people who dont have much money, letting someone do a load of laundry every now and then wont cost much.

Your name is alcoholic, if that is your problem as well i think all this will eventually just be a bandaid until you attack that problem. If not more crisis's will arrive and more and more people will run away from you when you reach out for help.

[Hulkein]

For a second I thought you were contemplating something serious like killing yourself or not.

Then I realized it was about selling a cyber based gemstone character.

....But this is a Gemstone board, so I'm not trying to be a dick.

Sell the character, real life is a lot more important.

[Skirmisher]

I say sell the character. and get your life in order.

When things are more settled, if you still have the desire to play, you can buy another character or start one fresh.

Good luck.

[Jayvn]

the items don't make the character.

[hectomaner]

heh, how many posts have i seen of yours on the boards? whining and crying about how you are about to be homeless? how you are at a library and need help?


come on man. get some help. whatever the trouble is, there is help for it, find it and get some.

if you need the money, sell the characters, items, whatever. if you get your shit together and come back, start a new character. one thats not such a dick too..

anyway, yeah, thats what i got to say


p.s. welcome to the real world, bills, rent, responsibility, etc.

[Edited on 6-25-2005 by hectomaner]

[Devessi]

Hectomaner assumed:
>heh, how many posts have i seen of yours on the boards? whining and crying about how you are about to be homeless? how you are at a library and need help?

For what it's worth, I am 99 percent sure this is NOT the same person who was posting on the official boards about how he was in a public library and needed someone to come hold his hand, or whatever.

Now, to be on-topic:

You've got other characters besides the main one. I'd sell those off first, and just put the account with the main on hold, and disconnect from the 'net for awhile.. IF that would be enough to get you by for some time. If not, I have to echo what the others here have said. Real life takes priority. But, that's just me.

Lynne, player of Siwas