Worst Analogies

[Ravenstorm]

Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay (http://paul.merton.ox.ac.uk/language/analogies.html)

Some are very amusing.

Raven

[Ebondale]

These can't be the worst ones ever written. A lot of these are from the Northern Virginia/Maryland area. Those are actually pretty highly-educated areas. ;)

I do like this one: "McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup."

Thats freakin' awesome. :)

[Itachi]

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
Jennifer Hart, Arlington

[Bobmuhthol]

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

rofl

[Drew2]

One of the best websites ever.

I now have 3 new away messages.

[Ebondale]

"If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. -Age 15 "

Taken from the 'Deep Thoughts' section. :lol:

[Wezas]

The mental image of the second one was just disturbing


She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station

Fairfax Station being one of the richest suburbs of Fairfax County (which is one of the best school counties in the country)

[Ebondale]

I think it actually is the #1 county, Wezas. I'm from Fairfax County myself, actually. Reston, specifically.

[Wezas]

Originally posted by Ebondale
I think it actually is the #1 county, Wezas. I'm from Fairfax County myself, actually. Reston, specifically.

I thought it was, but didn't feel like searching for a site to be sure. And you know the haters would all like to say "OMG UR SO WRONG IT'S # 2, DUMBASS!"

[Ebondale]

#2 or #1. We can still kick #1s ass if we're not #1. ;)

[ElanthianSiren]

Some of the concepts are allright, they just need to be rewritten to be less superfluous.

eg: The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Hailstones leapt from the pavement like glistening maggots fried in hot grease.

-Melissa

it's not shakespeare, but it'll do.

[Ebondale]

Glistening maggots? I'm not sure I like the sound of that.

[ElanthianSiren]

Originally posted by Ebondale
Glistening maggots? I'm not sure I like the sound of that.

Newly emerged white maggots glisten.
White balls of hail also glisten.

I agree, it sounds disgusting, but the point is, some of these aren't so bad.

another eg everyone's favorite:

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

He spoke with the learned wisdom of a sightless man that once stared defiantly into a full solar eclipse.

-Melissa

analogy is mostly presentation, though I'll agree that most of these are dramawhorish.

[Overlord]

Originally posted by ElanthianSiren
He spoke with the learned wisdom of a sightless man that once stared defiantly into a full solar eclipse.
-Melissa


:heart:

[AnticorRifling]

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.


I'm glad I'm not the only one that noticed that there is never a . after Dr. Always bugs me and I'm an avid Dr Pepper drinker.

[Czeska]

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."
Russell Beland, Springfield


That happens, you know.

[Sean of the Thread]

Heheh these are great. I would do that shit on purpose in my papers just for fun because half the time the TA's didn't read the entire shit unless you were on their pissy side.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. LOL

[Snapp]

This site is hilarious.

"Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze."

:lol: That's my fave.

[Ebondale]

Originally posted by AnticorRifling
I'm glad I'm not the only one that noticed that there is never a . after Dr. Always bugs me and I'm an avid Dr Pepper drinker.

Dr Pepper doesn't get a . after his Dr because he is a fraud and doesn't really have a PhD!

[CrystalTears]

"The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play."

:lol: Love that one.

[DeV]

"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."

Like, totally. Very funny stuff.

[Sean of the Thread]

Originally posted by DeV
"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."

Like, totally. Very funny stuff.

I'm dying to know if your avatar is showing pubic hair, like a landing strip of sorts.

[DeV]

Originally posted by Xyelin
I'm dying to know if your avatar is showing pubic hair, like a landing strip of sorts. That would be like breaking TOS so no, and quit being off topic and stuff.

:)

[Sean of the Thread]

Originally posted by DeV

Originally posted by Xyelin
I'm dying to know if your avatar is showing pubic hair, like a landing strip of sorts. That would be like breaking TOS so no, and quit being off topic and stuff.

:)

I swear I can see a lil somin somin...and it was on topic because I used a bad analogy.

Oh and your not the boss of me. nah nah nah nah nah nah.

[DeV]

Oh yeah, it was bad. (your analogy) :P But, I guessed it was the bottom part of her tattoo; wishful thinking that I am right. In any case, she won't move her hand so my curiousity won't be satisfied.

I wish I could do some digging around to get to the bottom of it...

[KymberlynX]

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
Russell Beland, Springfield

:lol:

[AnticorRifling]

Could you get more stuff in your signature?

[Latrinsorm]

Russell's are by far the best.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

[Ravenstorm]

Gods, some of the other sites are so so funny. Check out this one. (http://paul.merton.ox.ac.uk/language/church.html)


The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

Raven

[KymberlynX]

Originally posted by AnticorRifling
Could you get more stuff in your signature?

Probably...