National Emergency Phone Test

[Suppressed Poet]

I don’t like it.

[Methais]

Looking forward to getting one that's like VOTE FOR JOE BIDEN AND NOT THAT STUPID ORANGE POOPYHEAD TRUMP BECAUSE HE'S RACIST AND I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!

[Suppressed Poet]

Looking forward to getting one that's like VOTE FOR JOE BIDEN AND NOT THAT STUPID ORANGE POOPYHEAD TRUMP BECAUSE HE'S RACIST AND I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!

Exactly.

[Suppressed Poet]

https://youtu.be/Q_Ek1nWndTg?si=o1BRvIh9nf92nOGp

[Methais]

https://youtu.be/Q_Ek1nWndTg?si=o1BRvIh9nf92nOGp

Hahahahahaha I forgot all about this clip :lol:

[Parkbandit]

I don’t like it.

Why?

[Suppressed Poet]

Why?

I was waiting in line at Subway looking forward to a delicious Hot Shot Italiano when I heard the obnoxious deafening test sound from every phone in America.

I get the whys and not really disputing the need for it. We must prepare in case Chinese zombie paratroopers descend upon us from their spy balloons. I’m just bitching about it for shallow reasons as is my God-given right as an American to do so.

[Anebriated]

Apparently none of the teachers at my kids daycare knew this was happening and all the kids were napping when it went down…

[Roblar]

I still chuckle at the thought of the Hawaii incoming nuke false alarm a few years ago, thinking of the freakouts.

Maybe we'll get a (false, not funny if true of course) national prank someday! UFO invasion or incoming nuke/comet would be best.

[Anebriated]

I still chuckle at the thought of the Hawaii incoming nuke false alarm a few years ago, thinking of the freakouts.

Maybe we'll get a (false, not funny if true of course) national prank someday! UFO invasion or incoming nuke/comet would be best.

Feels like that nuke alarm system could have been useful recently...

[Methais]

I still chuckle at the thought of the Hawaii incoming nuke false alarm a few years ago, thinking of the freakouts.

Maybe we'll get a (false, not funny if true of course) national prank someday! UFO invasion or incoming nuke/comet would be best.

The best part of that whole thing is how everyone in Hawaii decided to rub one out one last time before they got vaporized:

Fifteen minutes after the whoopsies, this was a false alarm alert was sent, views spiked by 48 percent. (https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2018/01/pornhub-views-spiked-in-hawaii-after-false-missile-alarm.html)

https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/066/536/b6dc067c92ae1fe1da910691d861267a2c-18-hawaii-porn-hub.rhorizontal.w700.jpg

[Roblar]

It went out at 8:07am but a second alert explaining went out at 8:45am so that spike looks more like a relieved mass rubbing. Or, a delayed back to the business at “hand”.

Still funny website stats.

[Archigeek]

The best part of that whole thing is how everyone in Hawaii decided to rub one out one last time before they got vaporized:

Fifteen minutes after the whoopsies, this was a false alarm alert was sent, views spiked by 48 percent. (https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2018/01/pornhub-views-spiked-in-hawaii-after-false-missile-alarm.html)

https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/066/536/b6dc067c92ae1fe1da910691d861267a2c-18-hawaii-porn-hub.rhorizontal.w700.jpg

All that means is that 48% of those who were rubbing one out stopped at the thought of vaporization, and got back at it after they realized it was only a test. The remaining 52% were too close to be bothered by Armageddon.

[Methais]

It went out at 8:07am but a second alert explaining went out at 8:45am so that spike looks more like a relieved mass rubbing. Or, a delayed back to the business at “hand”.

Still funny website stats.


All that means is that 48% of those who were rubbing one out stopped at the thought of vaporization, and got back at it after they realized it was only a test. The remaining 52% were too close to be bothered by Armageddon.

I misremembered the order of events, and just pulled a random article that I skimmed before posting, but that's about right.

Not sure which is more funny...a last minute pre-vaporization fap, or an immediate post-false nuke relief fap. :lol:

[Anebriated]

Probably just the FBI having to go back to work then back to pornhub once everything cooled off

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

https://youtu.be/Q_Ek1nWndTg?si=o1BRvIh9nf92nOGp

Nobody believes that many black people would live in a nice suburban location. Or that the white car needs two Febreze air fresheners unless they ridin' dirty.

https://media0.giphy.com/media/EEnJ709M9mOFivqsg7/giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e4750yh4c9op9os05wp2ti9k1xny6hr gxbcm8epoejw&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g