Something new

[Jorddyn]

So I had an epiphany of sorts over the weekend. Alright, it wasn't an epiphany at all. I already knew it, I just finally understood it.

I have a weight problem. I've battled it on and off since high school, and am currently within 30 pounds of my highest weight ever. I lost 40 pounds last year, but have put most of it back on due to sheer laziness. Not really shocking, huh?

Anyhow, this came about in the form of a man I met at a bar. He's a friend of a friend. I sat and talked to him for a couple hours. Nothing more than a little flirting happened. The next day when I thought about the situation, I realized that the entire time I was obsessing over how I was standing, the tilt of my face, whether my shirt was bunching, if he just saw me as the fat girl, if his friends were laughing at him for talking to me. Obsessing over that is nothing new, I suppose, but the other thing I was feeling was... Instead of thinking, "Fuck it, if he doesn't like me because of how I look then I don't need him," I was thinking how much it would suck if it went no further because of my weight.

That's not to say there was anything spectacular about this man. He was somewhat attractive, he was entertaining, he was tall. He was like a hundred other men I've met, and a couple that I've dated. I don't know what it was.

I went back to the gym today for the first time in two months.

Jorddyn

[Liberi Fatali]

Originally posted by Jorddyn
So I had an epiphany of sorts over the weekend. Alright, it wasn't an epiphany at all. I already knew it, I just finally understood it.

I have a weight problem. I've battled it on and off since high school, and am currently within 30 pounds of my highest weight ever. I lost 40 pounds last year, but have put most of it back on due to sheer laziness. Not really shocking, huh?

Anyhow, this came about in the form of a man I met at a bar. He's a friend of a friend. I sat and talked to him for a couple hours. Nothing more than a little flirting happened. The next day when I thought about the situation, I realized that the entire time I was obsessing over how I was standing, the tilt of my face, whether my shirt was bunching, if he just saw me as the fat girl, if his friends were laughing at him for talking to me. Obsessing over that is nothing new, I suppose, but the other thing I was feeling was... Instead of thinking, "Fuck it, if he doesn't like me because of how I look then I don't need him," I was thinking how much it would suck if it went no further because of my weight.

That's not to say there was anything spectacular about this man. He was somewhat attractive, he was entertaining, he was tall. He was like a hundred other men I've met, and a couple that I've dated. I don't know what it was.

I went back to the gym today for the first time in two months.

Jorddyn

I'm impressed! Hopefully you can maintain this current corriculum -- that is, more exercise, and slightly lower calorie intake. Just remember not to do anything drastic -- starvation diets do not work, and you'll only gain back the weight promptly afterwards. Lord knows I've been to enough seminars in regard to metabolism, digestion, and the such.

I expect to see super model pictures posted by the end of summer. :)

Tabor.

Good deal and good luck. Many people, even if they don't consider themselves shallow, will simply not want to get serious with fat women. I do hope it all goes well for you.

- Arkans

[Edaarin]

Get a gym buddy. It will help motivate you to push yourself harder while you're there, and also help stick to the plan.

Set small achievable shot-term goals, but also gun for something in the next several months.

[Kuyuk]

<<Good deal and good luck. Many people, even if they don't consider themselves shallow, will simply not want to get serious with fat women. I do hope it all goes well for you. >>
-Arkans comment


-Arkans Avatar.

[HarmNone]

That's great, hon! The exercise will not only help you lose the weight you wish to lose. It will also improve your health and general well-being. Good for you! :up:

Point being?

- Arkans

[Jorddyn]

Originally posted by Tabor
I expect to see super model pictures posted by the end of summer. :)


Maybe next summer. This summer, I'm aiming for actually wearing a swimming suit.


Originally posted by Arkans
I do hope it all goes well for you.


Thank you :)


Originally posted by Edaarin
Get a gym buddy. It will help motivate you to push yourself harder while you're there, and also help stick to the plan.


I've re-hired the trainer that helped me lose 40 pounds. He's awesome in that he'll come in once a week just to work out with me and not charge me, and he always checks up to make sure I'm there. I had my best friend as my buddy last year while she was getting ready for her wedding. Seem to have lost her now :sniffle:


Originally posted by Kuyuk
-Arkans Avatar.

Even I have to admit the avatar is funny. Dammit.


Originally posted by HarmNone
That's great, hon! The exercise will not only help you lose the weight you wish to lose. It will also improve your health and general well-being. Good for you! :up:

Thanks :)

Jorddyn, feels like she's been at confession