I've no idea what to do.

[Asha]

I just took my girlfriend to work, on my way home I thought I'd pop into my friends bar to see how he was going.
I saw my sister there, she was absolutely wrecked out of her brains.
I had to drag her from the bar before the bouncers had to use force. Baring in mind it was 7 pm and she was already totally blitzed.
To cut a long , messed up story short, outside I gave her an ultimatum.
1. Let me take her home by cab.
2. I let her go.

After about 30 minuites of me dragging her somewhere the cops wouldn't see her and bust her, me begging her to do what's right and go home to her daughter ( who's staying with my parents becouse Jules is an unfit mother ) she kissed me and walked away.
I have tried in the past to stop her from doing shit like this and my parents (both 60+) have completely run out of hope.
I let her go.
It freaked me out so bad I went to my GFs work and had her come out to talk to me. She said I had done everything I could bar actually dragging her home.
She's a pretty strong girl too and I don't for one second think she wouldn't have started a fight.

I'm home now, waiting for Sarah to finish work.
Did I do the right thing?
I know I didn't and it's totally freaking me out.
Another thing, my parents both being of terrible health, I know this will soon be MY problem so I have to get used to it. Hopefull not by going about it the wrong way like I did tonight.
I'm just hoping the Police find her and take her home.

That's it.

[Keller]

I know it sounds wicked but interventions leading to therapy are always an option. I'm sure countless people with past/current addiction issues would tell you the same. Sometimes it takes a life changing moment to change a life, as cliched as that sounds.

[Wezas]

Pretty sure I'm the only sick bastard wondering -


Originally posted by Drayal
she kissed me and walked away.

was it like a friendly/sibling peck or was she so sloshed she tried to actually kiss you?

[Praefection]

The worst part of this is seeing someone you love not willing to change their ways. You can be the one dragging her home from every mess she gets herself into, but until it gets to the point where she wants to stop there isn't a whole lot you can do. I'm really sorry about your sister, I know how bad it can be watching someone go down that particular little path.

[Asha]

Keller, I should have pointed out that she's suffering from really bad epilepsy.
It made her younger than me (though we're twins) by about 6 years , in her head.
We've all been through the therapy, the councellors ect ect.

In the end , they couldn't sort her out except give my mum and dad sole custodyt of her daughter (4 yrs old this weekend).

I feel the same way you do, I feel that an encounter with the police might at least keep her safe for tonight.

[HarmNone]

Ish, hon. I'm so sorry. I can only imagine the grief you must be going through right now.

Yet, I have to say, in my opinion, you did what you had to do. You made an effort, yet again, to help your sister. She rejected the help you had to offer. I have to assume she's old enough to make her own decisions, and to pay the price for the decisions she makes. You cannot live her life for her, and neither can your parents. She has to live her own life. If she mucks it up, she has to deal with it. If her family continues to support her self-destructive behavior, she'll never learn.

I know it's hard for you, hon. My heart goes out to you and your parents, and the little girl whose mother won't grow up.

Hugs, luv. You did the best you could do.

[DeV]

You do the best you can do time after time after time and when you see the individual's situation getting worse you feel like you haven't done the right thing or haven't done enough. You've done the right thing but the change has to come from within your sister on her own, and only when she is ready to make it. Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do but for the mean time you have to do what you feel is right when it comes to intervening in public situations. Go with your heart and make the best choices you can when it comes to your sister without completely interrupting the flow of your own life.

[Miss X]

Oh hon, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. The thing is though, sometimes people we love need more help than we can give them. You can only give so much of yourself before you give up completly.

Your sister needs some kind of intervention, have you thought about contacting your local drugs and alcohol service or the Crisis mental health team in your area? They might be able to help, or maybe a GP referral to the Community MHT? Community mental health nurses are really good at giving support and advice.

I really think you did you did everything you could have darlin. Don't beat yourself up about this. Bug hugs. xxx

[Asha]

Thanks everyone (your posts all appeared after I'd posted this),
I have to go, she just called me saying she's los like sixty pounds.
My mum called immediately afterwards telling I can't let it get to me or it'll just hurt more.
In the end I had to put don the phone on my sister.

I have to go but thanks for te replies.
I just had to share.

[Edited on 4-18-2005 by Drayal]

[Satira]

I suggest you put together an intervention to help her. If that doesn't work, you're going to have to leave her alone and not take on all of her problems. People choose the way they want to live and that is very hard for loved ones to accept. If she really wants to stay this way, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. Give her a chance at an intervention to make them right choice, and if she doesn't, don't continue to waste your energy.

[Brattt8525]

It isn't your failure, its hers. No matter how many times you "save" her te only one who can truely do that is her. I know that does not make you feel any better, just know you can't change a persons will.

I hope the best for her, but in the process don't let it eat you up, a person can only do so much.

[AnticorRifling]

This is where you put a roofie in a drink, give her "one last shot for the night", load her in the car and take her home to sleep off being an idiot.

If it was a brother then you just have to hit him in the head but with a sister I'm thinking drugging her to get her home.

[Gan]

It sucks watching a family member self destruct. As stated in several posts above... a change wont happen, even with an intervention, until she hits rock bottom (and hopefully survives the trip) and decides that its time to change.

As much as it tears you up inside, try to be available incase she does in fact reach out to you for help. But at the same time, be sure to be there for your parents who are taking care of her child. Thats where the real struggle will be.