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Edaarin
04-17-2005, 11:41 PM
As I was imparting wisdom to our young friend Alex, I realized that I had stumbled upon a completely solid model for relationships.

Treating women as an investment:

You invest scarce resources (time, money, and sanity) with the hope of reaping the highest possible return. Everyone has a different preferred level of risk, where generally riskier investments could mean bust or euphoric gold mine. If the dividends aren't up to par, cut your losses and find a new blue chip.

If you suck at finding the right stock, go through a broker (read: friend with connections). Alcohol will always close the deal.

Marriage is like an acquisition or merger, depending on the power structure of the relationship. Either way, it's combining assets with the intent of taking advantage of possible synergies or an undervalued prospect. Hostile takeovers are sometimes necessary. Eventually, subsidiaries (kids) may spring from the relationship. The majority of acquisitions/mergers end in failure. Divestiture = divorce.

Farquar
04-18-2005, 12:11 AM
Mutual funds never seemed so sexy...

longshot
04-18-2005, 12:27 AM
My model is simpler, but lacks many features of your model.

I think I might have posted this before...

{The benefit of sex with said girl} - {Amount of bullshit necessary for sex} - {Amount of bullshit to deal with AFTER sex} = 0

If greater than 0, go for it!
If less than 0, invest time elsewhere...

Some notes!
1. I would have said "person" for the first part, and not "girl", but last time I said person, people go the wrong idea. Sorry to those on the other team...

2. The last part, {Amount of bullshit to deal with AFTER sex}, is usually the most overlooked. Especially when there's alchohol involved.

There is no marraige model. In all known cases, a housekeeper beats a wife.

Apotheosis
04-18-2005, 03:02 AM
Originally posted by longshot
My model is simpler, but lacks many features of your model...


you made me grin

Apathy
04-18-2005, 04:14 AM
A sliding scale with the ability to be personalized to suit ones needs and tastes.

[10 - (perceived attractiveness of potential recipient)] x 2 = amount of alcoholic drinks necessary to condone possible action

Edaarin
04-18-2005, 07:00 AM
2. The last part, {Amount of bullshit to deal with AFTER sex}, is usually the most overlooked. Especially when there's alchohol involved.

There is no marraige model. In all known cases, a housekeeper beats a wife. [/quote]

I think you'll find that the marriage model sometimes follows that last part...