The "Friday Files" (True Stuff) ... Humorous in the Sad/Pathetic Way

[Atlanteax]

AND IF IT’S FRIDAY….then it must be time for…THE FRIDAY FILES…

In Palm Bay, Florida, the home of Geoffrey Crook, 41, was damaged by a tornado, whose winds of some 112 mph ripped the roof off his house…when police and rescue workers showed up (Geoffrey wasn’t home at the time), they found that the tornado had uncovered lamps, hydroponic equipment, log books…and 54 mari.juana plants neatly arranged in the bedroom…..

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…In Endwell, New York, a truck dropping off a supply of chicken wings at a restaurant there managed to snag a power line…which was connected to a 12-foot satellite dish that came off the roof…and crashed into a natural gas line…which ruptured…and caught fire…and spread to the restaurant…..

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…In Anchorage, Alaska, an unnamed man drove to the Division of Motor Vehicles building…and then drove INTO the Division of Motor Vehicles building… up over a sidewalk, denting the building's metal siding, cracking the inside of the wall, and startling workers sitting nearby in the DMV's accounting department….then he calmly backed up, got out of his car, walked in and renewed his driver's license…before police arrived…believed to have been driving while impaired on medication, he was charged with driving under the influence…..

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…In Aberystwyth, UK, Gareth Mason, 22, had been out for a "pub crawl"…returned to his flat with his friends…where, according to witnesses, he dropped his drawers, and “waddled” to the window with the apparent intention to “moon” passersby….when the staggering (drunk and “constrained” by his lowered pants) Gareth lost his balance…and fell through the window…the result? Death by “misadventure,” according to the coroner…ironically, he had engaged in pretty much the same stunt the night before…was saved by a friend who caught him…and earlier that day he had noted how dangerous it had been to do that…..

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…In Nashville, Tennessee, Jeffrey A. Freeman, 44, got the surprise of his life when he discovered that his wife, Martha Ann Freeman, 40, was having an affair with Rafael DeJesus Rocha-Perez, 35…Jeffrey discovered that when he discovered Rafael…after hearing snoring…in a closet…in Jeffrey’s four-bedroom home…where Rafael had apparently been living…for about a month…..

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…In Tirana, Albania, Riza Malaj, 34, known widely as the “Last Cowboy” because of his gunfights with the law, and his ability to elude capture by law enforcement officials there for years…was fishing….with dynamite…only to misjudge the length of the fuse…..

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…In Murfreesboro, Tennessee, John Winkler, 28, for reasons unstated, at a birthday celebration with “plenty of alcohol”…decided to sit cradling a large glass container…filled it with rubbing alcohol….added compressed air…and lit it…which, according to police, “essentially turned it into a bomb”…..

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…In Camperdown, North Tyneside, UK, Alison Taylor, 36, went out to start her Peugeot 405…but it wouldn't start, so she got out and banged the engine with a hammer...that triggered the car’s broken starter motor…and because the keys were still in the ignition, the engine started…that might have been good news, except that the handbrake…that should have kept the car in one place…was also broken…not that the car was going anywhere fast, but Alison tried to regain her balance…and accidentally grabbed the throttle cable…which, unfortunately for Alison, sped things up considerably…..

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…And finally, in Ottawa, Canada, Justin Lewtry, 23, who was trying to find a cheaper phone plan, decided to steal a phone line from the Blue Moon Video (a p.orn shop) located under his apartment…by drilling through his floor….Justin located some wires…pulled what he thought was the phone wire…cut the wire to connect it to his phone…a wire that turned out to be the alarm wire…which, when cut, set off the alarm…which, when set off, made a noise so loud that it spooked Justin’s cat….which, when spooked, jumped into the hole that Justin had cut in the floor…which Justin, when he reached in to rescue his cat, fell into…and into the store below…which left him nicely trapped when police arrived to answer the alarm…..

[Asha]

In England, David Jackson had to lay off alcohol and any other kind of fun practice, due to a family get together tomorrow.
They'd take one look into his eyes and would know if he'd been partying the night before.
:whistle:

[Atlanteax]

AND IF IT'S FRIDAY…then it must be time for….THE FRIDAY FILES…

in San Antonio, Texas, off-duty Officer Craig Clancy felt the call of nature while at an auto auction house here…while he was making "arrangements," his sidearm fell from his waistband…and while he tried to grab it, he succeeded only in helping the gun go off…twice…Officer Clancy was fine, but one of the bullets nicked a bit of floor tile…into the leg of a man who was washing his hands nearby….

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…In Grass Valley, California, Brandon Sanders called for help after suffering a gun shot wound in his derriere…when police arrived they found Brandon sitting in a car in a parking lot here…along with the unmistakable aroma of mari.juana…looking around, officers found a trail of blood…and followed it to three large bags of the substance hidden in some nearby bushes…they then backtracked and found a large roll of cash near the car…the investigation continues, but Brandon apparently hasn't been the most cooperative "victim"….

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…In Sterling, Virginia, an unnamed man (he was 6 foot 3) dressed like an unnamed woman (a flowery dress, a dark wig, white gloves and a purse)… handed a note to a bank teller demanding money, and implying he had a weapon…unfortunately for him/her, the teller just said no...so he/she turned and left the premises….

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…in Princess Way, Prudhoe, Northumberland, the efforts of some 50 firefighters and 16 fire engines was hindered by an unusual set of circumstances…a roll of toilet paper the size of a car caught fire…but as firefighters tried to drown the blaze, the water was absorbed and drawn away from the fire by dozens of non-burning giant rolls of toilet paper that were also in the yard…fire station officer John Arnold said the absorbency and size of the rolls of toilet paper had complicated the firefighting operation….

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…In Goshen, Indiana, nearly one-third of the 120 employees of the Keystone RV Company here lost their jobs… after testing positive for illegal drugs…company officials, who had been tipped off by police, said the terminated workers had tested positive for either marijuana, cocaine, amphetamines or methamphetamine….

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…In Mobile, Alabama, Yanique Mauldin, 32, already on probation for an assault conviction, had driven her vehicle into two separate cars…and a pedestrian…then tried to escape police by jumping out of her car, dragging her 6-year-old son with her…while carrying a bottle of wine….

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…Near Burnaby, Vancouver, British Columbia, police were alerted by passing motorists to the fact that a man’s body had been spotted lying alongside the Trans Canada Highway…when they arrived they found the man…”quite alive”…who told police that his car had run out of gas and he “wanted to attract someone’s attention”…”Guess it worked, but police don’t really recommend this method,” the Royal Canadian Mounted Police said in a press release….

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…In Allegan, Michigan, an unnamed 34-year-old was entering the Allegan County courthouse, and at the metal detector pulled an Altoids box from his pocket…that’s when Reserve Deputy Mike Johnson shook the tin…heard none of the little mints rattling about, and opened it…to find 30 tiny “meth” baggies…the man, at the courthouse for a hearing involving his son, told police he forgot the meth was in his pocket….

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…And finally, in Peachtree City, Arkansas, a patrol car spotted a golf cart near a lake here…and upon investigation found Michael R. Stevens, 37, a female companion and a dog skinny dipping at Battery Way Park here about 12:30, 1 a.m…turns out that the female companion - who fled on the golf cart in the altogether - was a Ms. Hayes, not Mrs. Stevens (she was out of town at a funeral), that Mr. Stevens – also in the altogether, but less fleet of foot - had a blood alcohol level of .134 (the legal limit is .08)…he was charged with DUI, two counts of resisting an officer, public indecency, public intoxication, reckless driving, violation of park hours, driving a golf cart on unapproved road and driving a golf cart without headlights…oh, and Stevens is the owner of Big Mike’s Adventures…a company that promises to take clients on “big adventures”….

[Kyra]

…In Allegan, Michigan, an unnamed 34-year-old was entering the Allegan County courthouse, and at the metal detector pulled an Altoids box from his pocket…that’s when Reserve Deputy Mike Johnson shook the tin…heard none of the little mints rattling about, and opened it…to find 30 tiny “meth” baggies…the man, at the courthouse for a hearing involving his son, told police he forgot the meth was in his pocket….


Only about 30 miles from me...friggin' crack head manufacturing heaven out there, makes them real smart too by the looks of that :rolleyes:

K.

[Atlanteax]

AND IF IT’S FRIDAY…then it must be time for…THE FRIDAY FILES

In Colerain Township, Ohio, William Ingram, 46, strolled into a US Bank office, and held up one of the tellers…who tossed a Global Positioning System device in the bag along with the money…police found William at a local car dealership just 42 minutes later…where he was returning a Honda that he had borrowed for a test drive…as his getaway car…police said that when he was confronted, money began spilling from his pockets…..

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…Near Sandanski, Bulgaria, an unnamed man had been drinking…asked some friends for some money…they complied…but, with an impaired equilibrium, he first dropped the money…and then stooped to retrieve it.…unfortunately for him, he had a rather large kitchen knife in his pocket as he bent over…..

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…In Columbus, Ohio, Stephen Ray Brumfield held up a National Savings Bank there…but as he was making his getaway, witnesses heard something fall…and after Stephen left, they noticed it was a checkbook…with Stephen’s name, address, and Social Security number…not to mention a photo that matched witness descriptions…..

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…In Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, an unnamed 27-year-old broke into Nathan Sassamon’s home there…and proceeded to fix himself something to eat, got a nice soak in the hot tub, and stole $4,000 worth of tools (an air compressor, eight tool boxes, a television, and a stereo system)…oh, and he left out his dirty dishes…unfortunately for the burglar, he also left out his wallet and driver’s license…..

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…In Toronto, Canada, an unnamed driver…who shouldn’t have been driving…pulled up on to a curb, nearly running over a man…then told the man that he was heading north, but said he could see a party, and wanted to join the festivities…unfortunately for him, the man turned out to be a police officer directing traffic…to help clear out the traffic congestion related to Police Week festivities…the driver, who turned out to have a blood alcohol level of 0.29, also had an empty bottle of rum and a half bottle of rum in the seat of the car…..

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…In Alexandria, Alabama, police obtained permission to search several vehicles there after some $600 was stolen from a youth baseball park concession stand…including the vehicle of Traci Doss, 35, where they found approximately $500 under a seat cover, and another $200 in the console…Traci, thinking "quickly," told police that she earned the money…selling drugs…..

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…In Germantown, Tennessee, a city code has been introduced that would restrict the opening of garage doors to only situations of entering or exiting or for "short periods of time" for cleaning and maintenance…..

(isn't this how it is normally done???)

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…And finally, in Sydney, Australia, Chris Barker, 31, had linked up with “Sally 69" on an Internet dating site…their “relationship” had involved Sally’s admission that she enjoyed tying partners up…they arranged to meet…and Sally tied Chris up…and then, with the assistance of an associate, proceeded to abscond with his TV, video recorder, DVD player, digital camera, computer, printer, mobile phone, and watch…while Chris was still bound…..

(Owned?!?)

[Asha]

…And finally, in Sydney, Australia, Chris Barker, 31, had linked up with “Sally 69" on an Internet dating site…their “relationship” had involved Sally’s admission that she enjoyed tying partners up…they arranged to meet…and Sally tied Chris up…and then, with the assistance of an associate, proceeded to abscond with his TV, video recorder, DVD player, digital camera, computer, printer, mobile phone, and watch…while Chris was still bound…..

(Owned?!?)


:lol:
Who the fuck would seriously let a near stranger do that?
Anyhow, excellent.

[Atlanteax]

….In Thurman, New York, Glen Germain, Jr., was siphoning gas from a dump truck to a gas can at a business there …when, curious as to how full the container was, he used a lighter…with predictable results…..

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…In Aurora Township, Illinois, Dean Craig, 46, was trying to convince two alleged crack users to leave his house (he wanted to invite in a female companion)…failing in those efforts, he threatened to burn the house down…the visitors laughed, and refused to leave…whereupon he splashed rubbing alcohol on the floor…and lit it…the visitors left…hastily…the house sustained heavy damage, however…..

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…In East Mead Township, Pennsylvania, D. J. Delancey was trying to get rid of a bat that had flown into his house…with a sledge hammer…he missed the bat…but overswung with the three-pound hammer…and hit his father-in-law, one Francis V. Mercier, 66, in the head…..

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…In Liberty, Indiana, Harold Williams, 29, called in a report of an unidentified flying object…in response, Union County Sheriff Deputy Dale Dishmond discovered that Harold was wanted on a warrant in Wayne County…had fictitious plates on his car…and was in possession of 42 grams of coca.ine, an amount of mari.juana, and drug parapher.nalia…..

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…In Glens Falls, New York, Jason McClaskey, 25, was apparently trying to free himself from a court-imposed tracking device attached to his ankle…by trying to burn it off with lighter fluid…with what can best be described as…predictable results…the good news for Jason? His attempt to dismantle the device alerted police…..

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…In DeRidder, Louisiana, Thomas Fox, 17, and Calvin Simmons, 18, chose to show their disdain for authority by shouting obscenities from their car at passersby…including, unfortunately for the boys, members of the local Narcotics Task Force…who, after pulling the boys over for a talking to, spotted a stolen sign from a local church,,,and some mari.juana in the back seat…..

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…In Union Beach, New Jersey, John Dee Kelly, 39, who happens to be a vice president for a New York banking corporation, stripped…hid among the trees near a paved trail there…and allegedly lunged at an unidentified woman jogger…unfortunately for John, the attackee was an off-duty police officer, armed with both pepper spray and cell phone (handy for summoning help)…..

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…In Lahore, Pakistan, the annual kite-flying festival has once again claimed an extraordinarily large number of casualties…13 killed and more than 500 injured…two were killed when they fell off a roof, two more when hit by a car while trying to catch a stray kite, one electrocuted when metal wire used to fly a kite draped over live electric lines, and another hit by a stray bullet…police said more than 50 people had been detained for using metal kite strings or firing in the air…..

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…And finally, in Louisville, Kentucky, Charles Cross, Jr., had just robbed a Fifth Third Bank there…made it to his rented getaway car…and then took a look in the bag of loot to evaluate his ill-gotten gains…just as the die pack exploded…he dumped the car…but pursuing officers were literally able to catch him…red-handed (and faced)…

[ElanthianSiren]

Originally posted by Atlanteax

…In East Mead Township, Pennsylvania, D. J. Delancey was trying to get rid of a bat that had flown into his house…with a sledge hammer…he missed the bat…but overswung with the three-pound hammer…and hit his father-in-law, one Francis V. Mercier, 66, in the head…..

damnit, my state almost escaped the idiot awards.... almost.

-Melissa

[4a6c1]

…In Union Beach, New Jersey, John Dee Kelly, 39, who happens to be a vice president for a New York banking corporation, stripped…hid among the trees near a paved trail there…and allegedly lunged at an unidentified woman jogger…unfortunately for John, the attackee was an off-duty police officer, armed with both pepper spray and cell phone (handy for summoning help)…..


For some reason the visual of this one had me laughing.

None of these things are weird or important enough to be posted in the Friday Files. I demand my twelve seconds back.

[Mistomeer]

In Nashville, Tennessee, Jeffrey A. Freeman, 44, got the surprise of his life when he discovered that his wife, Martha Ann Freeman, 40, was having an affair with Rafael DeJesus Rocha-Perez, 35…Jeffrey discovered that when he discovered Rafael…after hearing snoring…in a closet…in Jeffrey’s four-bedroom home…where Rafael had apparently been living…for about a month…..


When the husband found the guy, theyguy killed him. He was an illegal immigrant and ex-boxer apparently.


…In Germantown, Tennessee, a city code has been introduced that would restrict the opening of garage doors to only situations of entering or exiting or for "short periods of time" for cleaning and maintenance…..

(isn't this how it is normally done???)


They don't want you to have your garage door open ever basically.
They want it to be closed at all times, unless you're coming home or leaving, in which case you can open it for the 5 seconds it takes.

[Jenisi]

…In Goshen, Indiana, nearly one-third of the 120 employees of the Keystone RV Company here lost their jobs… after testing positive for illegal drugs…company officials, who had been tipped off by police, said the terminated workers had tested positive for either marijuana, cocaine, amphetamines or methamphetamine….

From forever ago... haha... I live right next to goshen and know one of them that got fired. ROFL (not personally just a friend of a friend)

[Atlanteax]

THE FRIDAY FILES
…In Lenexa, Kansas, friends don’t let friends drive drunk…or at least they shouldn’t…Joseph Henning, 22, accidentally ran over a friend outside a bar here…that happened to be Joseph’s FOURTH DUI charge…when he was arrested later, he kicked open the door on a police van and struck an officer in the groin…and now he has been charged with felony battery AND DUI…as well as several misdemeanors…including driving with a suspended license….

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…In Salinas, California, Isidoro Sanchez, 22, was driving a stolen Honda Accord, when he was spotted by police…a chase ensued….then for some reason, Isidoro pulled over…entered a house here…sat down in the living room…and began watching television…making it easy for police to catch up with him….

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…In Harrison, Arkansas, an unnamed robber while making his getaway tossed his victim’s wallet near the scene…and also apparently dropped his OWN wallet….so now the unnamed robber isn’t really unidentified….

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…In Tucson, Arizona, a "perpetual" garage sale finally drew the attention of police to a house here…they found that a white truck was a stolen vehicle…and after obtaining a search warrant, they discovered that the “always open” business may be “funded” by thefts…while their search of the premises also turned up… a meth lab in the home….

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…Near Woodbury, Minnesota, Dean Peters, 47, was “acting really nervous” in the opinion of Transit Police, who thought he might have snuck on the train without paying the $1.25 fare…confronted and asked for identification, Peters gave them someone else's passport…then, realizing he was in some trouble, he went for a knife…was stopped, and then ultimately admitted that the checkbook, passport and the nice-looking suit he was wearing were all stolen from a suitcase he taken from the airport the night before…then it turned out that he had outstanding warrants…now that train fare is the least of his problems….

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In San Antonio, Texas, police responding to a burglary call found Ruben Porter, 34, or more accurately his feet sticking out of a hole in a maintenance storage shed here…Ruben had torn about 8 feet of wood siding off the shed before cutting the 1x2 foot hole through which he had apparently crawled in his attempt to break into the shopping center…Ruben claimed he had just been looking for a place to sleep…but was unable to explain two shovels and other tools laying on the grass outside the hole he was stuck in….

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…In Pasadena, Texas, Romeo Gonzalez, 18, trying to bring down a wasp nest hanging from a tree outside his second-floor apartment, decided to take a 12-gauge shotgun and fire it at the nest…it didn’t bring down the nest, but an errant pellet did manage to strike a neighbor….

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…In Isla Vista, California, an unnamed 18-year-old University of California-Santa Barbara student, who claimed she had “none” to drink… fell from the chair she was sitting in while completing the pre-booking paperwork for her arrest for public intoxication…once on the floor, however, she stated she could not get up….

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…And finally, in Florence, Kentucky, Renae Martin one morning found a large number of lawn “ornaments” on her porch…a flamingo, plastic geese, baby concrete rabbits, a concrete duck with its ducklings all in a row, and concrete figures of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs….since Renae wasn’t sure who all the ornaments belonged to (they didn’t belong to her), she thought it would be a good idea to park them all out on the curb where passersby could find and retrieve their own…a good idea, too…if only she hadn’t picked “garbage day” on which to do that….

[Atlanteax]

At Westchester County Airport, New York, Philippe Patricio, 20, along with two unnamed 16-year-old associates, landed a small Cessna 172 Skyhawk that they had stolen in nearby Danbury, Connecticut…they had to, actually, since the plane was nearly out of gas…and it was nothing short of miraculous that they did…since Philippe had a blood alcohol reading of .15 (about double the legal limit for drivers in the Empire State)…Philippe was arrested for driving while intoxicated…but only because of his short taxiing at the airport…apparently there are no state laws applying to flying while intoxicated…..

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…In Kootenai County, Idaho, the county miscalculated pay benefits…told county attorneys they could expect about $5,000/year more than was actually approved…retracted that the next day…that upset public defender Linda Payne…who crafted her own notice to the county…a greeting card accompanied by a jar of petroleum jelly and a tube of red lipstick…and a note that said, "The next time you choose to give us something, please lubricate and/or kiss first"…now she has been suspended…for a week…..

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…In Albuquerque, New Mexico, James Lovato, 50, was doing 77 in a 65 mph zone…doing 77 while driving on a revoked license…doing 77 while driving on a revoked license while intoxicated, as it turned out…when police had to force his car to the side of the road…but before an officer could arrive with a field sobriety test, James nodded off (no doubt a function of his 0.16 blood-alcohol level)…sadly, it was his 18th DWI arrest since 1977…..

(( OMG, how can he still be allowed to stay on the road with 17 prior DWIs?!?! ))

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…In Elkhart, Indiana, James Manges, 3, was distraught that his mother wouldn't let him use a crane vending machine to try to win a small stuffed animal…then took matters in his own hands…by climbing up the chute to get the prize himself…then got stuck in the machine…then found out that store employees did not have a key to the machine…the fire department came to the rescue, however…..

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…In Neptune Beach, Florida, Dan Juliana pulled into his driveway early one Sunday morning after a long night of work…when a robber accosted him, demanding his wallet and his cell phone…Dan complied, but decided not to disconnect the call he was on…as the thief made his escape, Dan ran inside, called the police, while his girlfriend (who had been on the call) drove over to meet Dan…when the police arrived, they all listened in on the still active cell phone…as the thieves discussed their next move…a stop at a store on Beach Boulevard, where they planned to cash Dan's paycheck….and where police pulled right up behind them…..

(( LOVED this one!! ))

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…In Erlanger, Kentucky, Kyle Houp, 21, was allegedly roaring down Tulip Tree Lane there one Sunday night at more than 80 mph…tires squealing, hitting trashcans, and being verbally abusive to those in the neighborhood…that inspired Bruce Crawford, 36, and his wife Kathy to chase after Kyle (on foot)…they caught up to Kyle, then Bruce reached into the window…and Kyle hit the gas, and dragged Bruce…who proceeded to fire four shots from the handgun he was packing…..

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…And finally, in Las Vegas, Nevada, Alejandro Martinez, 23, decided to hold up a pizza parlor there, and managed to get away with $200…he might have stayed free to spend it, except that he chose to hold up the store after he had begun filling out an employment application…on which he had written his real name and address...

(( ha ha ))

[Atlanteax]

In Sparta, Wisconsin, Darklena Large, 43, had a little trouble getting home recently…it started when someone allegedly hit her car in a fast-food parking lot…that's when her car started handling oddly, but that didn’t stop Darklena …first off, her front tire apparently had been damaged, because she soon found herself driving on the rim, but that didn’t stop Darklena…then that rim shattered (a chunk reportedly sailed through a 2nd story bedroom window), but that didn’t stop Darklena…flames began sparking from the shattered rim as she drove, but that didn’t stop Darklena…but police saw the weaving, fiery vehicle…and THEY stopped Darklena…who was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated, hit and run, and recklessly endangering safety…she was also accused of destroying some of the arresting officer's paperwork at the jail…..

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…In Hermann, Missouri, a Fourth of July celebration wrapped up sooner than expected over the weekend, as a lit fuse fell among a stack of fireworks on the ground…setting them all off at once…residents say that people as far as a mile off felt the blast…you can see the fireworks "display" HERE.

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…In Sheyboygan, Wisconsin, David Weyrens, 19, was "car surfing" on the roof of a Land Rover Discovery…when the bar from a luggage rack on the SUV apparently broke off…and he found out the hard way just how stupid that was…..

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…In Mankato, Minnesota, Scott Teters, 41, was mixing flash powder for homemade fireworks in his basement…when the “flash” powder lived up to its name…and reminds us all again that the combination of “homemade” and “fireworks” is not generally a good thing…..

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…In Wilmington, North Carolina, Floyd Eugene Masters, 39, decided to go for a swim in Greenfield Lake there…which was a particularly unfortunate choice of activities in view of the numerous signs posted around the lake prohibiting swimming…as well as warning against disturbing the alligators who make their home there…including the 10-foot one who, apparently disturbed by Floyd’s swimming, took a bite of him…..

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…In Rendsburg, Germany, an unnamed 17-year-old broke into a store there…took several items, including a digital camera…with which he took several incriminating pictures of himself…and then, not realizing that he had successfully snapped a few…tossed the camera nearby…where police found it…and all the evidence they needed…..

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…In Winona, Minnesota, Thomas Mason, 37, set off on one of the shortest crime sprees on record…walking into the Fortress Bank there, and handing the teller a robbery note that began, “Hi, I am Thomas Mason”….

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…And finally, in Moscow, Russia, an unnamed girl was not admitted to an entry exam at the Moscow State University…after it was discovered that “she” was actually a young man trying to pass the exams for his sister…”she” was caught because security staff who checked the contenders for cheat notes paid particular attention to a girl with bright makeup and “especially outstanding feminine features”…including some of “incomparable proportions” (these are quotes, folks)…that they thought might be a repository for cheat notes…..

[Atlanteax]

THE FRIDAY FILES…


In Olathe, Kansas, that unnamed 17-year-old who was convicted of battery for deliberately “tossing his cookies” on his Spanish teacher…has been ordered to spend the next four months cleaning up after people who throw up in police cars...
"Eww" ?


In Jacksonville, Florida, John A. Kurceba, 53, was reportedly taunting his wife, Priscilla L. Kurceba, 52, after he came home from work and found that the family dog had been put to “sleep” earlier in the day…an argument ensued, and at some point in the “discussions,” John, gesturing toward a decorative sword hanging on the wall, told Priscilla to "just get the sword b….”…at which point, Priscilla did just that…John’s subsequent injuries were described as “not life-threatening”…not surprisingly, the couple is currently seeking a divorce...

Hey, Skirmisher posted this one!


…In St. Louis, Missouri, C. Clive Munro, 54, an independent stock analyst, pressed CKE Restaurants Inc. Chief Executive Andy Puzder and Chief Financial Officer Ted Abajian to hire him as a consultant for $25,000 a month for a year…they did not…about a year later Clive issued a negative report suggesting the company's "slowing growth" could lower the stock price…and sure enough, following that report, the stock tumbled…then Clive sent an e-mail to Puzder that said, “If you were smart, you would hire me at $25K per month for 12 months (for half my time) and take me out of the game.”…that’s when CKE brought in the FBI…and when Clive repeated his “threats” on the phone…now Clive has a new, albeit temporary, “occupation”…


…In Toronto, Canada, police responded to calls after gunshots were heard in a neighborhood in the city’s northwest end…when residents of an apartment on the 21st floor hurled beer bottles at the police…having ascertained where the bottle came from, police obtained a warrant…and found a collection of weapons, including a Cobra Mac-10 automatic submachine gun and a double-barrelled shotgun, body armor, ammunition…and more than 100 grams of coc.aine…as well as other "tools of the trade”…in all, police laid 71 charges against two people, including a 15-year-old girl…

If it was the US, I'd say "another situation of the "Rights to Bear Arms" gone overboard..."


…In Portage, Indiana, Kaylyn Kezy, 34, was driving her 2005 Chevy Impala when it became disabled…so passenger Melissa Fredenburg, 32, took the wheel while Kaylyn began to push the car…but the car soon crashed into a car parked at Don’s Motel near there…and when police arrived, they found that both Kaylyn…and Melissa…had "operated" the vehicle while intoxicated. Reports state both women had a blood-alcohol concentration of 0.17, more than twice the 0.08 standard of intoxication in the state…

Talk about a technicality!


…In San Antonio, Texas, Stephen Knight, 17, called police to report a robbery after three men broke into his apartment, hogtied him with Christmas lights, and stole a plasma screen television…and his stash of marij.uana…aside from the unintended “confession,” police found some that had not been stolen in his apartment…

Yea, let's not forget the hide the drugs when you call the police about a robbery, m'kay?


...In Vancouver, British Columbia, an unnamed 60-ish senior citizen living in Little Mountain Place, a senior home there, asked another female resident for a cigarette…unfortunately, the combination with her oxygen tank was not without “consequences”…


...And finally, in Morganton, North Carolina, a would-be robber walked into a convenience store there, pointed a gun at the clerk, and threatened to use it if clerk Bonnie Christie didn’t give him some money…whereupon Bonnie said, “I'll shoot you too”...whereupon the would-be robber took off…

[Atlanteax]

THE FRIDAY FILES



In Kansas City, Kansas, US District Judge Dean Whipple acquitted Jan Helder, 42, of using the Internet to try to entice a child into...well, things he shouldn’t have been trying to entice a child to do….Helder’s defense? That he didn’t actually violate federal law…because the person he was accused of enticing wasn’t actually a minor…but a Platte County deputy pretending to be a minor…the ruling came just minutes after a jury returned a guilty verdict…
Isn't this the standard way of catching online pedophiles? :?:


…Near Timsbury, England, Nicholas Rogers, 18, was “driving erratically”…sounding his horn, and lurching his vehicle about one to 1.5 car lengths behind another vehicle…when Nicholas sped up to pull alongside the other vehicle…and his female passenger “made a hand gesture” to the other driver…who happened to be a police officer…in a clearly marked patrol car…
Rednecks visiting England?


…In Toledo, Ohio, Melvin Surprise III, 22, was riding his bicycle on a sidewalk there when a pickup truck driven by Michael Garvin, 17, hit Melvin while pulling out of a parking lot (no doubt he was “Surprise-d”)…leaving Melvin with a bruised leg, a big hospital bill ($800)…and a ticket from police…seems that Melvin ran afoul of a local ordinance that says anyone 15 and older can't ride a bike on the sidewalk…Melvin plans to fight the $93 fine, saying the law discriminates against adult cyclists…
Only in Ohio! :lol:


…In Ocala, Florida, Teddy Akin, 28, wanted to encourage his wife to leave him…so he told her that he had killed a hitchhiker (a Dennis Allen of Utah, which he proved by showing her Allen’s wallet), and then dumped the body off east Highway 40 near here…of course, his wife told police…who proceeded to search for the body….and failing to find anything, questioned Teddy…who then admitted that he had made the whole thing up, after having found Dennis Allen’s wallet at a newspaper box (Dennis had lost the wallet while visiting Ocala)…now Teddy’s been arrested for filing a false report….theft (of Dennis’ wallet)…and will probably get a bill from the police department for the cost of their seven-hour search…no word on his marital status…


…In Parkland, Florida, Michelle Ledgister, 43, who happens to be a Rockville, Maryland, resident and quality control and assurance officer at the National Institutes of Health there, was upset after losing a claim for tax relief for property she owns in the Sunshine State…so she allegedly called up the Broward County Property Appraiser's Office…and left a voice mail...identifying herself, noting that she worked for NIH, and saying, "You guys now have Anthrax spores once again, so do be careful”…fortunately for the folks at the appraiser’s office, Michelle doesn’t have access to anthrax…unfortunately for Michelle, the FBI had very convenient information on how to find her…
Word of advice Arkans (since you say you work for the health department now), don't do this!


…Near Grandview, Missouri, Robbin Doolin, 31, was driving US 71, approaching the eastbound Interstate 470 ramp…when she felt a compelling need to…expectorate…so, she opened her car door…while speeding down the highway…with no seatbelt…and found herself ON US 71…quickly recovering, Robbin bounced up and chased her still moving car…as it careened down an embankment toward a construction site…said a police spokesman, "It's certainly not prudent to open your car door on a highway, especially when you're not wearing a seat belt.”

Yea, what he said.. :lol:


…In Morgantown, Kentucky, Terry Hunt, 39, and Justin Hawkins, 24, drove a 2005 BMW to the courthouse where they were on trial for arson and fraudulent insurance acts…they pled guilty to the charges…but were found to have driven a STOLEN 2005 BMW to their trial…and, after discovering that little problem, police searched their residence… and found two stolen Lexus SUVs in the garage…

Gotta love stupid criminals...


…In Lincoln, Illinois, Diana Short, 46, in jail following an arrest when police found a room for growing marijuana in her home, turned to Brianna Strohl, 24, for an extra $7,500 to make bail…and told Brianna, her daughter, to raise the funds by making some methamphetamine…a “plot” uncovered by police who were monitoring Diana’s calls from jail…worse, Diana…had been a police officer for more than a decade…now both are in jail…but Diana now needs $25,000…and Brianna needs $10,000…


…And finally, in Stamford, Connecticut, Daniel Garcia, 21, was on his way into a local police station there…when, probably fearing a search, he stashed about $1,500 worth of marijauna under a rock next door to the station (but in sight of two civilian police department employees)…when he returned two hours later, and turned over the rock, he found his stash gone…and in its place a note that said simply, “You're under arrest. Look up at the police station”…and sure enough, he was…

Another good stupid criminal story... :lol:

[Back]

Thanks for keeping up on these, Atlanteax. Its becoming an enjoyable Friday morning ritual.

[Leetahkin]

:yeahthat:
Seconded!

Always amusing hearing about other's stupidities.

[Jorddyn]

…And finally, in Stamford, Connecticut, Daniel Garcia, 21, was on his way into a local police station there…when, probably fearing a search, he stashed about $1,500 worth of marijauna under a rock next door to the station (but in sight of two civilian police department employees)…when he returned two hours later, and turned over the rock, he found his stash gone…and in its place a note that said simply, “You're under arrest. Look up at the police station”…and sure enough, he was…

I swear, if the name wasn't in this story, I'd think it was one of my friends. Too funny :lolwave:

Jorddyn

[Atlanteax]

In Fredonia, Wisconsin, Ronald J. Schueller, 58, came to the conclusion that Virginia, his wife of 36 years, needed a “terrific scare” to help her see the error of her ways…insights that he claims came to him via TV talk show host "Dr. Phil" McGraw…so he decided to hire a man to “kidnap” Virginia, knock her unconscious, and lock her in the trunk of a car… drive the car to a remote place, smash the windows, and leave the car….unfortunately for Ronald, the man he chose for the scare was an undercover deputy…


In Tampa, Florida, Marvin Williams, 22, thought it would be funny to put a blue and red flashing light on the dashboard of his friend's car and pretend to pull over another motorist…or at least he did until he picked a car that contained Sean Kruger and Jason Degagne…who turned out to be two undercover Tampa cops…who proceeded to pull Marvin over…and found 7 grams of coca.ine on the center console of Marvin’s car…

Why do they always have drugs in their car?!?


In Albuquerque, New Mexico, Marilyn Romines, 59, was apparently trying to make off with $20,000 worth of goods from the Expo New Mexico there…caught in the act, she locked herself in a restroom…where she was trying to flush jewelry, pottery, and paintings down a toilet, before police convinced her to surrender (perhaps she discovered that some things flush better than others).…by way of explanation, Romines told police she took the artwork because she is epileptic...

Someone forget to tell her that only works for drugs...


In Duesseldorf, Germany, an unnamed 38-year-old has been convicted for fraud…after he racked up huge phone bills (more than $15,000 over a six-month period) phoning a s.ex hotline from work…and split the proceeds with a woman working at the service…"He wasn't calling for the stimulation," said a spokesman for the court…


In Massachusetts, Massachusetts Appeals Court Judge Andre A. Gelinas has ruled that failure to grant jurors a cigarette break during deliberations did not compromise their guilty verdict in a drug trafficking trial…Geuri Lugo, convicted of dru.g trafficking in April 2003, argued that Massachusetts Superior Court Judge Richard F. Connon's "refusal contributed to a quick, or compromised, verdict," according to court documents…after returning from a one-hour lunch break at 2 p.m., the jury requested permission for a cigarette break at 2:30 p.m….the judge denied the request, and told the jurors they would end for the day at 3:30 p.m….deliberations resumed at 9:30 a.m. the following day, and the jury returned a guilty verdict for Lugo about an hour later…

Yea, that's right... no cigs makes the jury awfully cranky! :rolleyes:


In Royal Oak, Michigan, Robert McClain, 42, allegedly fled the scene of an auto accident…summoned to the scene, police were assaulted by Robert…wielding a 4-foot sword…after missing, Robert retreated to his basement…only to reemerge decked out in a chainmail armored vest and leather gauntlets…and with a giant wooden mallet to accompany his sword, he brandished them and claimed to have “…a thousand years of power”…at least until the “power” of the police Taser kicked in…

Dude probably lives 20 minutes away from me...

But PWNed on getting Tasered after his boast! :lol:


In Oceanside, California, Marcus Threats, 31, accused of accosting an unnamed 24-year-old woman, used as his defense that he thought she was a member of the world’s oldest profession, and that she had responded to his reasonable request for her services by screaming for help…however, under cross-examination, it turned out that Marcus had only $1 on him…casting doubt on the plausibility of his motives…


In New York, New York, an unnamed 19-year-old was caught coming into JFK on a flight from Columbia…looking very nervous, and with a very bad toupe on his head….which “concealed” (and we use the term loosely here) some 40 packets of heroin…that had been superglued to the man’s head…"Because he used superglue, they took him to a medical facility to have it removed," said Officer Jennifer Conners. "Even at that, it pulled out the hair wherever they removed a package, so he ended up looking like a spotted cat.”…

Just more proof that druggies come up with some brillant ideas.. :smug:


And finally, in Enid, Oklahoma, Carlos Isordia and his wife Maria had a problem….someone kept breaking into their house…and stealing Maria’s undergarments …in fact, they had done it five nights running, when Carlos decided he had had enough…he crafted a “warning system” by tying a string to a coffee cup…and the other end to one of Maria’s bras in a laundry basket…he also placed a 2x4 such that if someone tried to reach inside the screen, it would make a noise…then about 1:15 a.m., Bruce Taylor, 20, sprung the trap…whereupon he was confronted by Maria…who found him with his arm sticking through the door…and then beaten by Carlos (with a leg from baby Isordia’s crib)…until he tumbled down a flight of concrete stairs…and was subdued until the police arrived…Bruce initially claimed that he was being chased by someone and had simply been seeking refuge in the Isordia’s house…but under questioning, he admitted that (a) he had not been trying to hide…(b) that he had been to the Isordia’s before…(c) that he had taken undergarments in those previous visits…(d) and that he had placed those “trophies” in a lunchbox by his bed…turns out that “lunchbox” was a 55 pound cooler…and that those “trophies” weighed in at 55 pounds…

55lbs of female lingerie? Dang! :wow:

He probably just gave new meaning to "Perv".

[Some Rogue]

Originally posted by Atlanteax


In Royal Oak, Michigan, Robert McClain, 42, allegedly fled the scene of an auto accident…summoned to the scene, police were assaulted by Robert…wielding a 4-foot sword…after missing, Robert retreated to his basement…only to reemerge decked out in a chainmail armored vest and leather gauntlets…and with a giant wooden mallet to accompany his sword, he brandished them and claimed to have “…a thousand years of power”…at least until the “power” of the police Taser kicked in…

Dude probably lives 20 minutes away from me...

But PWNed on getting Tasered after his boast! :lol:


I'm wearing boots of escaping!:grin:

[Alfster]

"In Royal Oak, Michigan, Robert McClain, 42, allegedly fled the scene of an auto accident…summoned to the scene, police were assaulted by Robert…wielding a 4-foot sword…after missing, Robert retreated to his basement…only to reemerge decked out in a chainmail armored vest and leather gauntlets…and with a giant wooden mallet to accompany his sword, he brandished them and claimed to have “…a thousand years of power”…at least until the “power” of the police Taser kicked in…"

No wonder Zirth is no longer around....























okay, I lied, he's still here

[Atlanteax]

In Richmond, Virginia, an estimated 5,500 people turned out…and then turned rowdy, sending four to the hospital (a witness said that one woman standing in front of her was so desperate to retain her place in line that she remained in line while answering ‘nature’s call’)…at the Richmond International Raceway there…in hopes of latching on to one of 1,000 Apple iBooks available for $50….bear in mind, while new iBooks sell for somewhere between $999 and $1299…THESE iBooks were four years old…

So basically they were only worth $200 or less...


In Aurora, Colorado, Pete Mang, was nabbed on a surveillance camera sneaking fishing flies from the Sportsman Warehouse there…fishing flies worth about $13…which made it all the more embarrassing since Pete also happens to be the second-highest-ranking law enforcement officer at the Colorado Bureau of Investigation…


Near Nappanee, Indiana, McKinley Chase, 21, and Dajuan L. Lord, 19, thought they would deal with the soaring price of petrol by stealing gasoline from a construction company…they did not, however, notice that they filled their car with off-road-grade diesel fuel…at least, not until their car died shortly down the road…


In Villa Rica, Georgia, an unnamed resident returned home from a few days out of town and found that her home had been broken into…and that credit cards, a check book, cell phone, and jewelry were all gone…then, for some reason, she hit the redial button on her phone…and got the mother of one Kevin Tucker, 23…except she didn’t KNOW Kevin Tucker’s mother…or Kevin Tucker, for that matter…but Kevin’s mother said that she had been called the prior evening to pick Kevin up…from that residence (and he apparently made the call from that phone)…which police were happy to do instead…

"Hey mom, I just robbed a house... can you come and pick me up?!" :lol:


In Highlands, New York, Joseph Siragusa, 23, managed to get 20 traffic tickets in five minutes following a high-speed chase from New Windsor to West Point…he was finally nabbed after doing 90 mph…and ticketed with a series of offenses including passing on the right, failure to stay in lane, drunk driving, and possession of marij.uana…oh, and Joseph’s three-year probation for grand larceny had just ended…


In Jefferson, New Jersey, Stephen Sodones, 62…well-known animal lover by his neighbors…spotted a snake just starting to make its way across Route 23…fearful that the snake would meet with a bad end…he unfortunately found out that his concern was not appreciated by the poisonous copperhead he had picked up…

Reminds me of that Australian TV host...


In Angus, Scotland, residents at Lunan Bay there saw a pile of clothes, a wallet, and keys lying on the beach over a 24-hour period, and alerted police to the possibility of foul play…the search was called off when the owner of the clothes contacted the police to tell them he was safe…turns out that the unnamed man had gone for a swim with his girlfriend…but when he emerged from the water he had lost his bearings…and could not find his clothes….which must have made for an interesting trip home…


In Kalispell, Montana, Sharon Rivera, who books concerts for a folk singer, began getting non-stop phone calls…from a lot of angry Missourians…seems that a recent mailing to some 300,000 residents of the Show Me State regarding cuts in health-care benefits from Missouri's Department of Social Services provided an incorrect toll-free number for “help”…as of yesterday, “Working with Ms. Rivera, the Division has determined that the number of calls is quickly declining; therefore, corrected letters will not be mailed.”…they’ll be compensating Sharon for costs incurred…


In Bayonne, Louisiana, Robert Hurd, 30, tossed some garbage from a yellow Hummer in which he was a passenger…but chose to do so in front of a police vehicle…challenged by police, Robert climbed down from the truck and allegedly told the officers, “We'll settle this like men so take off your badge and we'll go in the schoolyard and fight”…as he approached them with his fists waving…now he’s been charged with obstruction of justice, resisting arrest, and aggravated assault…


And finally, in South Salt Lake City, Utah, Joe Lucero, 30, set off on a crime spree – of sorts – one Sunday morning about 5:45 a.m., when he (unsuccessfully) attempted to rob two women at knifepoint in the parking lot of a convenience store…so Joe ran to a nearby apartment complex, and tried to break in (unsuccessfully)…so he (successfully) crossed the street, forced two people out of a Jeep at knife point (successfully)…but (unsuccessfully) managed to escape, as he rolled the vehicle shortly thereafter, suffering cuts and bruises…then he ran into another apartment complex…tried (unsuccessfully) to enter several apartments…before he (successfully) kicked in the door to the abode of the Hernandez family…tried (unsuccessfully) to get Melva Hernandez to surrender her 18-month old…then, hearing police, fled through a bedroom window…where he was (successfully) apprehended…

[Asha]

YEY <3 the friday files.
Reminds me it's my favourite day of the week.

[Atlanteax]

In San Diego, California…specifically, in the parking lot of Qualcomm Stadium there shortly after kickoff in an exhibition game between the Chargers and the St. Louis Rams, the smoldering coals of a tailgate barbecue left in front of a Ford Mustang set that vehicle…and six others nearby…ablaze…some cars were reduced to blackened hulks while others had only their front or back ends destroyed…the fire burned away tires, leaving some sitting on nothing but their rims…


In Akron, Ohio, co-workers of Thomas Shaheen, 49, had a bad feeling about Thomas, mechanic for the postal service…and were really p**sed off after they reviewed the results of a well-placed video taping of Thomas’ surreptitious addition of urine to the coffee pot…now Thomas has been charged with two misdemeanor counts of adulteration of food or placing harmful objects in food…

Thankfully he does not work in a restaurant. :weird:


In Eastman, Georgia, an intern flight instructor and his teacher from the Georgia Aviation Technical College were practicing single-engine landings (with a twin-engine plane)…and coming in for what might have been a smooth landing…if only they had remembered to put down the landing gear first…in fact, “They didn't know they had a problem until they touched down," according to the local fire chief…no one was hurt (not even the plane…much)…

Isn't it on the "landing checklist" ? :rolleyes:


In Skelmersdale, England, Kerry Hayes, 33, was in court, having pleaded guilty to three shoplifting charges (all on the same day)…but when the judge denied her bail, Kerry, who reportedly had an “extensive" criminal record, and had just been released from a four-month sentence….loosened a sling that had supported one of her arms, leapt to a chair in the corner of the “dock,” and apparently tried to wrap the sling around her neck as some form of ligature…fortunately, with nothing to tie the other end to, she was quickly, and without harm, subdued…


In Thompson, Ohio, William Armstrong, 52, who was later found to have a blood-alcohol level of .244 percent (0.08 is the legal limit there), refused to pull over for law enforcement officers …a real problem since his vehicle was a 10-ton bulldozer…they did eventually convince him to stop…"I'm glad talking worked, because I don't know how else we would have stopped him," said Sheriff Dan McClelland…

At least he was not going to get away...


In Columbus, Mississippi, Terrell Green, 26, held up the Trustmark Bank there…having filled a pillowcase with the loot, he took off…and might have made a clean getaway….had he not left his wallet on the bank counter…

I knew there'd be a stupid criminal story! :lol:


In Janesville, Wisconsin, police responded to a report of an armed robbery at the Ramada Inn there…and found an “armed” suspect all right…an unnamed Star Wars Stormtrooper-clad attendee of the JVL-CON science fiction convention there…"Apparently some people who saw him felt there was a threat," said Sgt. Kay Nikolaus of the Janesville Police Department…the Stormtrooper got a warning from police…to leave his plastic laser gun inside the hall…

But aren't storm-troopers supposed to be push-overs?


Near Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, an unnamed man was apparently trying to dislodge a bullet from the chamber of his handgun…and using a screwdriver to do so…with what must surely be seen as “obvious” results…the good news? He got the bullet out…the bad news? He got it…

At least he was not looking down the barrel... :forehead:


In Gardnerville, Nevada, there was a bird’s nest…atop a 40-foot pole…a 40-foot power pole, it should be noted…but an unnamed cat apparently saw only the bird’s nest…and when paramedic-firefighters arrived to investigate a fire there, they found said cat…with all its hair burned off…firefighters believe that the cat (which is expected to recover fully) was on the pole because of the location of the bird’s nest…and “a large black spot where something had touched a relay switch on the 25,000-volt line”…

Stupid cats... :lol:


And finally, in Manchester, England, an as yet unidentified man (but it won’t be long now) decided that he would break into a CCTV shop there…where he was caught on no fewer than eight separate surveillance cameras as he stole a laptop computer worth £700…this despite numerous signs around the store warning that closed circuit television cameras were in operation…the CCTV images show the man from every single angle…including pictures of him looking through the shop window half an hour before he broke in….jumping up to get a better look…

2 "stupid criminal" stories allows today's edition to meet the quota.

[Vestarr]

…In Union Beach, New Jersey, John Dee Kelly, 39, who happens to be a vice president for a New York banking corporation, stripped…hid among the trees near a paved trail there…and allegedly lunged at an unidentified woman jogger…unfortunately for John, the attackee was an off-duty police officer, armed with both pepper spray and cell phone (handy for summoning help)…..

I never read this thread before an i thought this sounded familiar ...i lived in union beach,nj the officer lives not a block away from me. I just recently moved tho ..was funny as hell hearin her views about it tho

[Tisket]

In Bayonne, Louisiana, Robert Hurd, 30, tossed some garbage from a yellow Hummer in which he was a passenger…but chose to do so in front of a police vehicle…challenged by police, Robert climbed down from the truck and allegedly told the officers, “We'll settle this like men so take off your badge and we'll go in the schoolyard and fight”…as he approached them with his fists waving…now he’s been charged with obstruction of justice, resisting arrest, and aggravated assault…


Anyone that drives a hummer as their personal vehicle should immediately be drafted for military service in Iraq.

[Back]

Originally posted by Atlanteax
In Janesville, Wisconsin, police responded to a report of an armed robbery at the Ramada Inn there…and found an “armed” suspect all right…an unnamed Star Wars Stormtrooper-clad attendee of the JVL-CON science fiction convention there…"Apparently some people who saw him felt there was a threat," said Sgt. Kay Nikolaus of the Janesville Police Department…the Stormtrooper got a warning from police…to leave his plastic laser gun inside the hall…

But aren't storm-troopers supposed to be push-overs?

HAHA, I read about this in my local paper. Its a sad day when you cant even wear an old sci-fi outfit without someone thinking you are a terrorist.

[Atlanteax]

In Pulle, Belgium, an unnamed and inebriated 33-year-old woman was on her way home from a night of, well, getting inebriated….when she opted to take a short cut through a local cemetery…finding the call of nature compelling, she apparently chose to make use of the great outdoors…but, losing her balance (no doubt a function of both the position and the aforementioned imbibement), she grabbed one of two gravestones…and pulled it down on top of herself…and was unable to lift it…


In Camp Williams, Utah, one of the evacuees from New Orleans stepped off the plane here, but left behind a bag filled with jewelry valued at between $5,000 to $10,000…"oddly" the jewelry, which still had price tags on it…has yet to be claimed…

Looter!! :mad:


In Joplin, Missouri, an unnamed man walked into the US Bank here, handed an employee a note that read: "This man has a gun and wants my money." The teller triggered an alarm…and the man that allegedly had the gun, was gone…but as it turns out, he wasn't armed, nor did he have aims of robbing the bank…he happened to be the ex-landlord of the man with the note…who allegedly said he had a gun, and would use it on the ex-tenant if he did not withdraw from his bank account the money owed…the ex-tenant had refused to pay the full amount the landlord had charged because he said he was being overcharged for utilities and food…Joplin police Cmdr. Jim Hounschell said detectives have determined that whatever transpired, it wasn't an attempted bank robbery...

Miscommunication issues? :shrug:


In Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, an unnamed 47-year-old man felt a slight sting to his foot while out in his garage….looked down to find that the sting was the result of being bitten by a rattlesnake….startled (and who wouldn’t be?)…he stumbled backwards…tripped…fell…and landed on a copperhead that also somehow was in his garage….it bit him in the groin…

Ouch... :no:


In Suffolk, New York, former Police Officer Michael Forman had claimed that after injuring his wrist on duty that he could not drive his patrol car…could not pull the trigger on his gun…and that he couldn’t even deal with desk duty, since his right wrist was injured…so the department granted him a full disability pension, with some $250,000 in payments…at least until the department found that Michael had been named Chief of the Bethpage Volunteer Fire Department…

I would had thought he was part of the NO PD...


Near Duncannon, Pennsylvania, Leon G. Kelley, 56, suffered minor injuries…and destroyed part of a 78-year-old steel-truss bridge here…when he drove a 40-ton truck over the bridge…that had a 15-ton weight limit…incredibly, the truck made it most of the way across before the steel decking folded…the Perry County bridge was scheduled for replacement next year at a cost of $2.3 million, according to the report…Leon will be charged with disobeying the weight-limit sign…


In Pocatello, Idaho, a US Forest Service contractor crew was clearing brush near Bannock County's landfill…when a spark from its vehicle started a blaze…that torched about 100 acres and kept 64 firefighters busy for much of Thursday evening and into Friday...

More unfortunate irony...


In Zuelpich, Germany, an unnamed 34-year-old woman was trying to kill spiders in her garage with a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter…but when the aerosol failed to do the trick, she switched to a "lighter only” approach…however, this set the area she had just sprayed on fire and the blaze spread to a hedge…which spread to her semi-detached house…well, at least the spiders are gone...

Genius at work...


And finally, in Waterbury, Connecticut convicted rapist Delome Small, 37, wanted to rob a bank…but he was worried that the electronic tracker strapped to his ankle would go off if he was gone for too long…so he chose a nearby Bank of America branch, thinking that he could get back home before the alarm went off…but Delome, and his brother John Small, 46, found that the cash drawers were locked…and worried that the tracker would go off, they departed empty-handed…now Delome is charged with attempted robbery…and violating his probation…

Yet another criminal mastermind...

[Leetahkin]

:bouncy: hurrah for Friday Files!

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, an unnamed 47-year-old man felt a slight sting to his foot while out in his garage….looked down to find that the sting was the result of being bitten by a rattlesnake….startled (and who wouldn’t be?)…he stumbled backwards…tripped…fell…and landed on a copperhead that also somehow was in his garage….it bit him in the groin…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What luck... errr unluck. He's got some bad Karma there.

[Atlanteax]

In Eugene, Oregon, Dwayne Earl Anthony Etzel, 18, was riding his bike with a “big smile” on his face and what looked to be a “big old bush” under his arm…the site was odd enough to draw the attention of police who followed Dwayne…who, once he realized he was being pursued, tried to make a getaway…eventually tossing the bush…which turned out to be three marijuana plants…at the police car…resulting in charges of burglary, drug possession, criminal mischief, escape, and trespassing…after police got a call from a resident reporting the theft of his medical marijuana plants…

What idiot would call the police that his marijuana plants were stolen (nevermind the idiot that did and threw it at the police).


In Charlevoix, Michigan, Art Kirk, 70, facing felony weapons and perjury charges…and accused of lying about a lengthy criminal history under a different name to the intermediate school district that contracted with him as an AmeriCorps volunteer program director, and to the local sheriff's department on gun permits…called the county humane society to see if they could take his pet rabbit "Flopsy,” noting that he was leaving for Europe on an emergency business trip for nine months or longer…but his name was familiar to county animal control officer Julie Whitley, who thought that a trip abroad was unusual for someone with a pending felony charge…and brought it to the attention of the sheriff's department…who, when Art showed up to drop off Flopsy…slapped the cuffs on Art…who had a packed bag in his car…

Good heads-up there...


Near Hagerman Pass, Colorado, Jeff Moore, 56, hadn’t slept in two days because of an abscessed tooth…so he loaded up on painkillers, opened up a cold one, and decided to go for a drive in his 1989 Jeep Wagoneer ….at some point he must have dozed off...and when he woke up, he was rolling down a mountainside…the Jeep landed on its top and Jeff, though he was in some discomfort, waited for help to arrive…fortunately for Jeff, three hunters spotted his Jeep… with a rear wheel hooked on a pine tree (with a diameter the size of a soda can, according to his rescuers), the only thing standing between Jeff and a 200-foot drop…Moore has sworn off alcohol…

Too bad he didn't go off the cliff...


In Fife, Washington, Julian LaPointe, 22, and an unnamed associate were going after some copper electrical wire…in a live, high-voltage power line…with what can best be described as “predictable results” as 55,000 volts came along that line…oh, that copper wire? It goes for about $1.50/pound…

Too cheap to buy wire, but not too cheap to get electrocuted!


In Athens, Greece, an unnamed 44-year-old mobile phone dealer has been arrested for allegedly selling thousands of amateur sex videos…downloaded from cellular phones brought to his shop for repairs…

Geez, people really are taking those photographic cellulars way too far...


In Wichita Falls, Texas, an unnamed burglar broke into a house there…and stole some tools normally used only by mechanics…that would have been well enough, but perhaps recognizing the special nature of his “acquisition,” he strolled down to the All American Cab Company where he tried to offload the tools…to the owner of the house that had just been burglarized…


In Canberra, Australia, an unnamed 24-year-old, who found himself driving in an inebriated state (blood-alcohol level of 0.178) and being pursued by police…decided to jump in the back seat with his three passengers…while the car was still moving (at about 25 mph)…as a police spokesman later noted, "His cunning plan, in his muddled state of mind, was he wouldn't be the driver”… while it was a surprising move, it availed him naught…

Great logic there...


And finally, in White Plains, New York, members of a wedding party at the Crowne Plaza Hotel there spotted a man that they believed to be the event photographer…who was believed to have absconded with his fee…and confronted him….unfortunately, it turned out not to be said photographer, but rather the best man in a second wedding party (that of Joseph Fortunato, Jr., 29)…suffice it to say that the confrontations led to altercations…that led to police being summoned…that led to the arrest of the aforementioned bridegroom Fortunato, Jr…which led to additional confrontations and altercations by the rest of Mr. Fortunato’s bridal party (at least the male members thereof, including his father-in-law) with police…which led to the internment of the aforementioned bridal party members…and charges of resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, and first-degree riot…which happens to be a felony punishable by up to four years in prison. The resulting melee reportedly caused some $2,000 in damage to the hotel…police said that they “believe the event may have been alcohol-driven”…

Alcohol-driven? What, are you crazy?! :lol:

[Asha]

WOOHOO
It's that time again. . :heart: the Friday files.

[Atlanteax]

In Nevada City, California, Thomas Wease found himself in hot water with the local constabulary for having a thriving mari.juana crop…but wait, says Wease, I have a doctor's authorization for the use of marijuana because of my bad back…to which police noted that they thought his needs could be easily fulfilled by a quantity smaller than the ton of weed they found him growing…


In Sydney, Australia, an unnamed 18-year-old was being chased by CityRail officers there…when he decided that a good place to hide would be under a train that was standing in the station…and it was probably a very good place to hide…until the train moved out of the station…
Ouch…


In Lomira, Wisconsin, Gaviel Bonilla, 23, had escaped from Department of Corrections transport workers when they stopped at a rest stop there…he had been on the "run" for about three hours when he stopped at a home to ask directions…to a nearby McDonald's…clad only in his boxer shorts (police say he got rid of his pants because they got wet during the escape…needless to say, the homeowner found the nature of the request odd…and called police…apparently Gaviel didn’t get to the fast food fast enough…


In Tokyo, Japan, Tomoyasu Shinkawa, 33, an unemployed man from Tokyo's Kita-ku, posted his job notice on an online site in early March…"We offer you 400,000 yen per job, but it's risky," the notice read…Yoku Shimoyama, 20, contacted Shinkawa, and the two and another man visited a ticket shop in Shibuya-ku on March 13….where Shimoyama found out that the "job" was just that…a robbery…he got his 400,000 yen, but turned himself (and his "associates”) in to police…
I sincerely hope that the police released him for doing his civic duty...


In Beirut, Lebanon, Ayas al-Alayli, 36, took a hand grenade kept as a souvenir from Lebanon's civil war, and threw it to the floor to prove to Mirna Mugharbel, a secretary, that it wouldn't explode…he was wrong…
Another moronic moment of the day…


In Brewer, Maine, Matthew French, 21, and Gina Nelson, 22, entered the Maine Smoke Shop there…and while Gina distracted store workers, Matthew proceeded to stuff some $50 worth of cigarettes down his pants (these days, that would be about a pack, I think)…the couple managed to make their escape….but a review of the surveillance tape caught them in the act…and a store clerk remembered that the couple had signed their names and addresses to a petition in the store…


In Toledo, Ohio, an unnamed thief thought he would hold up a coffee shop at the main entrance of a building there…apparently, he did not realize the rest of the building was the local FBI office…
Another brilliant criminal mastermind…


In New York, New York, Dan Hoyt, 43, now believed to be the so-called "subway flasher," was inadvertently caught…when Thao Nguyena pushed the wrong button on her cell phone while trying to make a call…and accidentally took his picture just as he went into…”action”…


In Troy, New York, an unnamed 33-year-old motorist who led police on a high-speed chase there later admitted that he "was probably crazy to do it"…but since he had managed the feat many times in driving games on his PlayStation, he thought he could do the same outside the box…
:lol: I was wondering when this would happen…


And finally, in Fargo, North Dakota, Justin W. Fraase, 26, under court order to stay away from an unnamed woman (who was the mother of two of Justin’s children, but apparently not his wife), thought he had a way around the restriction…he taped an intimate encounter with her…and shared the tape with police as proof that he was no problem to her…however, he apparently forgot to take into account the fact that that same tape also includes audio of the woman resisting his advances, and making clear that she was being forced…so now Justin not only has that restraining order, he also has charges of gross sexual imposition, felonious restraint, AND violation of a protection order…
This man should not be breeding…


Sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words. Check it out (see attached pictured)

[Jayvn]

Hey the hole seemed like a good idea at the time I bet, but about the medical marijuana, hell if i had some and it got taken I'd report it, in cali with a cannabis card thing you can have up to like 40 plants for personal medical use.

[Atlanteax]

In Muncie, Indiana, an unnamed man was spotted by a local gas station attendant spending an awfully long time at the station in a white van…he called police…who found the man inside the van…sitting next to a 55-gallon tank and a battery-operated pump….from which a hose led to the gas station's underground tank…sleeping…


In Chelsea, New York, Mick Jagger made a surprise showing at a New York nightspot there…and got the royal treatment, including free drinks and a bodyguard…on his way "home," “Mick” also reportedly spent about 10 minutes in the club's restroom with three female "fans"…who were no doubt disappointed to discover later on that the REAL Mick was in Toronto that evening…

Score!!! :lol:


In Shawnee, Kansas, an unnamed would-be carjacker tried to take a Chevy Camaro…ordered the driver out at gunpoint…and then found that the car was protected by a highly effective security system...a manual transmission…


In Irvine, Kentucky, Lisa Kilburn, 27, and Kim Congleton, 30, both certified nursing assistants at the Irvine Health and Rehabilitation Center, have been indicted for multiple counts of abuse…after it was discovered that they allegedly gave elderly and medically fragile patients laxatives…as a prank in order to harass staff that worked shifts after them…they’ve been fired…they could face up to five years prison time for each of the multiple counts…and if there was justice, guess what their punishment would include…

I thought Chica was in the UK? :D


in Grove Hall, Massachusetts, an unnamed 22-year-old gun shot victim was being attended to in the emergency room there…when physicians also located 17 bags of all-too-appropriately stashed “crack” cocaine…


In Austin, Texas, Evelyn Davison, 74, has filed a lawsuit against a neighbor who had failed to bring in her empty garbage can after a pickup. ..Evelyn discovered the can in her driveway, and, attempting to move it by herself, claims she was seriously injured when she accidentally fell into it…

Must had been our resident elderly Texan? :D


…In Pensacola, Florida, gas station attendant Pam Pease, 49, had suffered the misfortune of having her car stolen…so imagine her surprise when, only an hour after she had reported the blue 1994 Ford Escort (with missing hubcap) missing to police…Artemio Castillo, 49, and Ernesto Garcia, 41, came tooling back to the gas station where they had stolen it from…to fill up the tank…


In Elgin, Illinois, some as-yet-unnamed counterfeiters managed to pawn off some fake $100 bills…the low-rent forgers apparently washed $5 bills until the ink was so thin they could reprint the bills to look like $100s… however, they left the portrait of Abraham Lincoln, rather than the customary $100 bill portrait of Benjamin Franklin…


And finally, near Charleston, West Virginia, David Douglas Griffy II, 23, had been arrested by police for an act of vandalism when he attempted an escape….with his hands still cuffed behind his back, he broke free from deputies…and jumped into the Kanawha River….from which, after he waded up to the point where swimming was going to be required, he returned…

[Showal]

You bastard for ruining my monday with hopes of Friday.

[Atlanteax]

In Cottonwood, Arizona, Nickos George Kopsaftis was apparently trying to burglarize a home there…in the altogether….caught in the act, he fled the premises…but stopped outside to ask if he could borrow a pair of shorts….the homeowner, anxious to have Nickos on his way, obliged…and police soon found him next door…in the shorts…trying to hotwire a car…


In Tucson, Arizona, Jeffry Leon Lewis Jr., 33, strolled into a Wells Fargo branch there…his mouth covered in duct tape…and presented tellers a note saying he had a bomb in his mouth…of course, since people rarely stroll down the street with duct tape over their mouth, it was fairly easy for police to spot him as he made his escape…and no, there was no explosive device…

Hurray for stupid criminals!


In Lanesboro, Minnesota, a judge has ruled that the victims of a 2002 fire there cannot sue the city for damages…authorities said former Lanesboro police chief John Tuchek set the blaze in an attempt to impress his former girlfriend by rescuing her from the fire…the judge says there wasn't enough evidence to show that the city should have foreseen Tuchek's conduct

Umm... he was the police chief!


In Charlotte, North Carolina, NBA Charlotte Bobcats forward Melvin Ely was robbed by four men in the parking lot of the Carousel Club last week…after the theft, Melvin made a stop at a local pawn shop to try and recover the stolen items…and not only found them…but while he was there, one of the four men who robbed him walked through the door...


In Twin Falls, Idaho, police are looking for a creative counterfeiter…who is apparently trying to pass off fake $1 million bills… although the largest domination bill ever produced was the $100,000 gold certificate issued in the mid 1930s…and that only for transactions between Federal Reserve Banks and never released for general circulation…police say the bill looks like it's based on a 1920s dollar bill…no word on if anyone has been asked to "break" that bill…


In Manning, South Carolina, Gregory L. Mouzon went into a gas station, robbed the clerk, then carjacked a 1996 Ford Taurus…from an acquaintance who had driven him to the store…pursuing him Clarendon County, deputies, on a tip, searched a home there…and had about decided the tip was false when they saw a pile of clothes in a closet…and picked up a teddy bear on top that was "unusually warm" (wonder what the usual temperature is)…and found Gregory underneath the pile…


In North Port, Florida, Jonathan Sullivan, 17, was engaged - literally - in a bit of swordplay with an 18-year-old companion…when his friend swung his sword…and during the downswing the blade came off…at which…point…Jonathan realized the dangers of such activities…

Yea, who knew playing with swords could be dangerous?!!? :duh:


Somewhere in the Florida Everglades, a 13-foot Burmese python had a hankering for alligator meat…and set upon a live, six-foot alligator…pythons being pythons, it swallowed it whole…and live alligators being live alligators, the python’s intentions were NOT well received…apparently the python got the better of the encounter…for a bit…seems that when the alligator got about halfway down…it got “out”…but too late for either to claim “victory” in the Darwinian struggle…you can check out a picture of the final result HERE.

Hey, we just had a thread on this.


In San Jose, California, an unnamed woman was apparently trying to steal copper wiring from an electrical box at a vacant South Bay strip mall there….the mall may have been vacant, but the electrical box was live…amazingly, so is she…

Probably was one of those batty old ladies (you know who you are!)


And finally, in Lincoln, Nebraska, an unnamed man fled from Lancaster County deputies…jumping from a second-story balcony…and breaking a leg in the process…and landing on the ground near waiting police…not only did that impede his getaway…turns out the police were looking for another suspect…but in the process of discerning why someone would jump from a balcony, took advantage of the situation…

Sounds like a good story to share over doughnuts! :D

[Atlanteax]

In Benton, Arkansas, Jerry Stewart, 59, was jailed for contempt of court…when he showed up for his drunken driving conviction…his SECOND drunken driving conviction...drunk….Stewart is an attorney, by the way…


In Park Ridge, New Jersey, school crossing guard Estelle Reynolds, 81, was struck in the line of duty (in the crosswalk)…by a car driven by Marvin Hodgdon, 70…who was on his way to work…as a school crossing guard in nearby Hillsdale…Marvin says he didn’t see Estelle, who was wearing high-visibility safety gear in front of Park Ridge High School there…


In San Antonio, Texas, Noe Ochoa, 21, commandeered a Hummer limo…but he failed to notice that it was filled with 15 people on their way to celebrate a birthday party…15 people who not only did not appreciate being "commandeered," but were able to throttle Noe through the privacy window…and then hold him until police arrived…Noe, who claimed his friend ditched him so he needed a ride, appeared before the judge with a black eye and several cuts…


In Camden, New Jersey, two unnamed men were looking to buy some drugs…but, apparently lacking cash, they tried to buy them with…a grenade…the sellers weren’t a bit interested in that mode of payment, so they called the police…presumably they didn’t wait around for law enforcement to arrive…


Near Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, an unnamed man was trying to dislodge a round from the chamber of his pistol…with a screwdriver…with obvious results…


In Greenwich, Connecticut, two off-duty police officers thought something was amiss when they saw Ricardo Salazar, 25, hiding behind parked cars…and carrying a J.C. Penney bag (those who know Greenwich understand that the paucity of Penny’s stores in the immediate vicinity apparently makes such things worthy of police attention) …so they stopped Ricardo…searched his van…and found 342 bras (worth some $14,135) that had allegedly been stolen from Victoria's Secret…Ricardo, who was found with a device that removes anti-shoplifting tags, is also accused of stealing $856 worth of sleepwear from Victoria's Secret and more than $5,000 worth of shoes from Shoes-n-More…

It was Wezas!!!


In Peru, Indiana, Katrina Hyde went to the Miami County Jail to bail out her husband, Todd Hyde, who was incarcerated on charges of dealing m.eth and illegal possession of chemicals used to make the drug…Katrina used a credit card to post bail…but, unfortunately for her, she used a stolen credit card to post bail….she also used a stolen credit card to hire a lawyer for her husband.…

Now they're both in jail... and unable to breed... hurray!


In Vail, Colorado, Andrew Prince, 20, and Luke Carroll, 19, have pleaded guilty to a March robbery of the WestStar Bank there…the two used unloaded BB guns to help them make off with $129,500…but the kicker was their accents (they’re both Australian)…and they neglected to remove the badges they wore as staff at a local ski shop…if that weren’t proof enough, the two took pictures of themselves with the loot…you can see them HERE.


In Lincoln, Nebraska, Mitchell Kruse, 44, strolled into the Hinky Dinky pharmacy there…wearing a sweatshirt and sunglasses, and announced that he was going to rob the place…at that point the pharmacist, who recognized Mitchell’s voice (he was a customer)…asked if he was joking…Mitchell dashed out…but police obviously had little trouble figuring out who to come looking for…


In East Hartford, Connecticut, police responded to several 911 calls, arriving at a two-family home there where a one-year-old’s birthday party had taken place…only to find six people stabbed, and "dozens" of others running around in a thunderstorm…four carloads of men showed up to join the fight…and as police arrived, they saw one person in the road beating another person with a chair…they found a knife hidden under the child's birthday cake…and ultimately detained so many people that they ran out of regular handcuffs…then they ran out of temporary flexible restraining devices and had to call for more…

DAMN!!


In New York City, New York, Robert A. McCormick, CEO of Savvis Inc., is being sued by American Express for payment of disputed credit card charges at Scores, a Manhattan topless club…$241,000 worth of disputed credit card charges…McCormick isn’t disputing ALL of it, of course…but he is disputing all but about $20,000 worth…on the other hand, it’s at least the third time in the past two years that Scores has been challenged for charges…one patron sued the club after he got a $28,000 bill, and another disputed $129,000 in charges…

That's a lot of money to spend on topless dancers?!?


In Bluffton, South Carolina, an unnamed would-be carjacker came up to a car there with a gun…but the driver, who had just bought a hot cup of coffee…slammed his car door into the would-be carjacker’s legs…and then threw the coffee at his face…and then chased him off into some nearby woods…police are now looking for a limping, coffee-stained ex-carjacker…


In Sheboygan, Wisconsin, Ryan D. Swanson, 17, and Derek A. Berndt, 19, felt like doing something “crazy” on the eve of Ryan’s 18th birthday…something crazy in this case apparently meant breaking into the Uni-Mart there…but before we get to that, consider that around 1 a.m. Ryan was ticketed by police for driving with a suspended license (his fifth such violation this year and second in two weeks)…in his van, police found a duffel bag containing a small sledgehammer with a rag wrapped around the head…Ryan was released around 2 a.m. to the care of his mother…who took him back to the van…who then drove back home…swapped the van for bikes…pedaled back to the Uni-Mart…and then used the rag-wrapped hammer to break in and make off with about $9,000 in cash…but left behind the rag-wrapped hammer…which was recognized by the one of the responding officers…who had ticketed Ryan just a few hours earlier...they even managed to drop about half the loot while making their bicycle getaway…now Ryan could spend the next 16 years of his life in a truly “crazy” fashion…

Crraaazzzy STUPID! :lol:


And finally, in Bensalem, Pennsylvania, Michael Drennon, 26, handed a Wachovia Bank teller there a note demanding $20, $50, and $100 bills "the quicker the better"…he got away, but left his note…which was written on a pay stub…not that Michael didn’t see that one coming…he had crossed out his name and address with a marker…but, as Steven Moran, Bensalem director of public safety, said, "It wasn't a huge forensic undertaking….We just put it under a light.".

[Caiylania]

Thanks for another Friday made funnier!

The one about the kid's birthday party made me sad though...

[Wezas]

Originally posted by Atlanteax

In Benton, Arkansas, Jerry [quote]In New York City, New York, Robert A. McCormick, CEO of Savvis Inc., is being sued by American Express for payment of disputed credit card charges at Scores, a Manhattan topless club…$241,000 worth of disputed credit card charges…McCormick isn’t disputing ALL of it, of course…but he is disputing all but about $20,000 worth…on the other hand, it’s at least the third time in the past two years that Scores has been challenged for charges…one patron sued the club after he got a $28,000 bill, and another disputed $129,000 in charges…

That's a lot of money to spend on topless dancers?!?


Yeah, heard about this (or possibly one of the other disputes) on Stern or a related radio show.

Basically it's lapdances. From what I remember the guy would get half a dozen or so girls to give him a lapdance at once, and then rinse & repeat. That plus I'm sure he wasn't drinking bottom shelf stuff while he was there and was likely buying the girls drinks as well.

[Soulpieced]

I can't believe I have never seen this thread before. That's what I get for not being around on weekends.

[Atlanteax]

In Cowley, Oxford, Venida Crabtree, 50, finally got her driver’s license this year...having failed approximately 40 previous driving exams and going through seven instructors since her first attempt at the age of 17…ironically, her first car – a second-hand 980cc Suzuki Alto - was considerably cheaper than the estimated £27,000 spent on all her driving lessons…

If a man ever wanted a great example of "proof" why women are horrible drivers... this should suffice!


In Fruitport Township, Michigan, Louis Jasick, 34, and an unnamed female friend entered the local police station there…apparently on a scavenger hunt where the mission was to obtain a photo of a police officer eating a doughnut…the couple engaged Fruitport Township police officers Bryan Rypstra and Jon Durell in conversation…long enough for officer Durrell to not only recall that he had gone to high school with Louis…but that he had recently seen Louis’ picture on a flier posted at the station the previous day…a flier noting that Louis was wanted on two felony warrants for failing to pay $5,000 in child support…and listed as a flight risk…but not anymore…

Ahh, stupid criminals... if only if they made up 100% of the criminal element of society...


In Merrimack, New Hampshire, Sammer Gandi, 19, found himself in a bit of a pickle recently…when he fell asleep on the job at a convenience store there after only two weeks on the job…see, not only did he fall asleep on the job…he was discovered…in the store’s office…by two police officers responding to a call that no one was in the store…worse for Sammer, he apparently fell asleep while he was engaged in a second job…repackaging marijuana for subsequent resale…

Dang hippies! :lol:


In Johannesburg, South Africa, an unnamed 60-year-old driver found that there are worse things than having a car accident…like crashing into an electricity substation…she also found out there are worse things than crashing into an electricity substation…like crashing into an electricity substation that has become home to millions of bees…

Only more reinforcement for the assertion that women are just bad drivers. :saint:


In Kent, Washington, Neelesh Phadnis, 24, was recently convicted of murdering his parents…given the result, it might not be surprising to learn that Neelesh insisted on acting as his own attorney after dismissing four public defenders…but the really bizarre aspect of this case was his defense…not that it was easy to keep track…he began by claiming that he couldn’t identify them because he was afraid for his life…but, during the course of the trial he blamed a gang of Samoans…a gang of indeterminate number, it might be added (and weight, he also alleged they weighed 400 pounds)… depending on the day of the trial that group ranged in size from a handful to more than 30…and in between he also said that the group included two whites, two blacks, a Native American, and a transsexual…despite their overwhelming numbers, he said he managed to escape the armed band by outrunning them…

Dang pot-smoking hippie liberals and their imagination! :lol:


In Belgium, an unnamed Dutch dentist, 50, suffered a car crash…and the loss of a finger…an event that led to his claim for 1.8 million euros ($2.2 million)…however, the shape of the cut on his index finger…the absence of skid marks on the road…and the level of anesthetic in his blood…suggested a more deliberate scheme…


In Petaluma, California, Kevin Morgan, 28, was pulled over by a member of the California Highway Patrol…for driving in a high occupancy vehicle (the "HOV" lane)…with a kickboxing dummy propped in the passenger seat…the officer then placed the dummy on a freeway shoulder to deter other commuters from similar schemes…


In Boston, Massachusetts, Thomas Brato, 33, showed up at the family pumpkin carving festival on the Boston Common, carved a pumpkin, and then (apparently with a certain amount of fanfare/flair) put “protruding” wires inside…he then proceeded to tell folks that something was going to happen, and disappeared….police later detonated the pumpkin (there was no bomb), and were aided in their capture of Thomas by a picture of him in the act of carving his pumpkin (his fanfare drew the curiosity of another carver)…and by the fact that he showed up at the Common the very next day….wearing the very same outfit…he was charged with “possession of a hoax device”…

He needs a better hobby… :rolleyes:


In New York City, New York, Tauhidul Chaudhury is suing the Scores nightclub after being presented with a bill for a seven-hour stay at the East Side strip joint…a bill for $129,626…Tauhidul allegedly drank with three friends until they departed about 11 p.m., but then Tauhidul continued on till closing time at 4 a.m…when it was all over, the six-figure tab was spread over four of Chaudhury's credit cards, although he claims he "cannot recall authorizing these charges,” according to the Smoking Gun…he told TSG that he filed the lawsuit against Scores after his credit card companies “did not find reason to decline the payments”…that's probably because his signature appears on the credit card receipts…

Women and alcohol is a dangerous mix, especially for this man.


In Troy, New York, Patrick Crow, 23, a state prison parolee, was arrested last week for a couple of robberies…he apparently had been robbing college students with a pellet gun…but police were able to track him down by matching him to the keys to his car…that he dropped during one of the robberies…


…Near Blackhawk, California, Robert Brooks thought he hit a deer…but when he got out to check the damage, he found no damage…and no sign of the deer…then headlights from another car emerged…and struck the deer…sending it flying through the air….into Robert…and breaking his ankle…

Dang!! :wow:


And finally, in Urbandale, Iowa, Judge G. Ken Renegar has ruled that former security guard Wade Gallegos cannot be denied unemployment benefits…seems that Wade told his supervisor that ghosts were haunting a neighborhood that he was patrolling…and went so far as to point out to a supervisor a place where the ghosts were still apparently standing…not so apparently to his supervisor, who fired Wade five hours later…however, the judge said that Wade’s termination for “misconduct” was in error…"Such beliefs do render the claimant unfit to act as a security guard…While acknowledging that “The employer cannot have security guards who see ghosts and apparitions and inform the employer, and then the employer sends out the patrol cars”, the judge nonetheless said that seeing ghosts is not the type of misconduct that can disqualify one from receiving benefits…

Perhaps reassigning him to another neighborhood may had been a better move (even if he’s a loony). But it just goes to show that business owners are screwed in that they just cannot be rid of problem employees without having to reward incompetence. :shrug:

[Atlanteax]

In Fergus Falls, Minnesota, an unnamed 43-year-old would-be burglar had broken into the Speedway Restaurant there – but when he set off the alarm – and heard police arriving to investigate – he tried to hide in the ceiling – then fell out – then hid in an oven – where police noted that he was “only half-baked when he was picked up”


In Palm Springs, California, Ronald Meyers, 59, called police to report a possible burglary – he said someone was trying to open his windows, and he could hear voices outside – when police arrived, they didn’t find any burglars - instead they found an 8-foot-tall marijuana bush growing in the backyard – and more plants being cultivated in the garage – and another $100,000 worth of the product, some packaged for sale and in plant form

Yea… definitely a “high moment” for the guy… calling the police when he has been growing marijuana.


In Great Falls, Montana, Robert Lawrence Thrash, 39, had apparently held up the Nickel Nats casino there with a sawed-off shotgun…making off with his take (about $500) on a bike…unfortunately for Robert, he collided with a police car responding to the alarm


In New York, New York, Shawn Chance, 23, was pulled over on the George Washington Bridge for driving on the wrong level of the bridge (trucks have to use the upper level)…and while pulled over, police found 600 pounds of marijuana in the truck (that’s about $1 million worth on the street)


In Milton, Minnesota, Laura M. Broten, 37, was arrested at about 11:30 p.m. for drunk driving – and then again about 1:43 a.m. – also for drunk driving – after the second arrest, Broten told police: "I only had one beer after you arrested me the first time”

:lol:


In Dallas, Texas, Ernestina Garcia Guzman, 30, submitted a job application and supporting documents for a Courtesy Patrol position – but when deputies checked her name in an FBI database, they discovered a warrant for her arrest in New Mexico on a charge of conspiracy to commit arson, as well as four warrants for $1,678 worth of unpaid traffic citations – now she is on her way back to New Mexico

Guess she was trying to start a new life for herself, but still had to atone for her past.


In Corvallis, Oregon, Ted Wayne Cersovski, 28, was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of intoxicants, unlawful use of a motor vehicle (specifically transporting an untapped keg in a stolen vehicle), and two counts of reckless endangering…after crashing into a public safety vehicle (he was ordered to stop four times) at Oregon State University after the team’s loss to Stanford…what was most unusual, however, was that the vehicle involved belonged to OSU…a golf cart

Yea… must had been drunk alright :lol:


In Stuart, Florida, Barnard Lorence, a former First National Bank and Trust customer, filed a lawsuit against the bank in Martin Circuit Court…asking for $2 million to compensate for stress and pain he said he suffered over an overdraft charge on his account…of $32…he has accused the bank of falsely advertising that it cares about its customers

LAME :thumbsdown: (perfect example why we need legal reform)


In West Valley, Arizona, the Secret Service and the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office have arrested Adrian T. Ayiers, 27, and Stacy Ayiers, 26, and in the process say they have shut down a ring responsible for up to 10% of all counterfeit money in Arizona…the scheme involved the use of fake money to buy large-ticket items at Wal-Mart with the complicity of a Wal-Mart cashier, and the subsequent return of those items for cash at a different Wal-mart…and while authorities didn’t disclose exactly how their investigation began…they did note that Adrian and Stacy messed up…when they sent a printer out for repairs…which was jammed with counterfeit bills

If only more criminals were so careless…


In Albany, New York, Joe Amash, 34, drew the attention of personnel at the Price Chopper store there by running through the aisles on what was described as a “power shopping spree” - rapidly filling up two carts with food (some $500 worth) – then he went to pay for his purchases with a debit card – that turned out to have a different name on it than the Advantage card he presented for a discount on his purchases – and drew even more attention to himself when he argued with the clerk about being overcharged – confronted, he fled (sans groceries) – but when apprehended by police he had an explanation for his erratic behavior – claiming that he had obtained the stolen debit card in a trade - with a one-legged man - in a bar - for a bag of marijuana…his bar companion told him the card was “hot” – and he needed to use it quickly

Guess he took the meaning literally… :rolleyes:


And finally, in Fort Myers, Florida, Jill Knispel, 35, had her eye on a vintage 1964 Volkswagen Karmann Ghia automobile…lacking the funds to pursue her dream, she opted for stealing from her employer – Baby Exotic Birds – sneaking out a rare Greenwing parrot in her bra - but Jill couldn’t resist telling the car's owner how she came into possession of the bird - turns out the car's owner is friends - with the man who owns the $2,000 bird - now Jill has been charged with grand theft - parrot

[Edited on 11-18-2005 by Atlanteax]

[Wezas]

I think my favorite part of the Friday Files is the lame comments by bad tie.

Bob Sagget quality.

Keep up the good work! :popcorn:

[radamanthys]

…In Endwell, New York, a truck dropping off a supply of chicken wings at a restaurant there managed to snag a power line…which was connected to a 12-foot satellite dish that came off the roof…and crashed into a natural gas line…which ruptured…and caught fire…and spread to the restaurant…..

I think I saw that... it's right around where I live...It was back in April

[Atlanteax]

In Fort Myers Beach, Florida, Jeremy J. Miljour, 26, was caught breaking windows – and trying to persuade women to touch him while he was running around in the "altogether"…when sheriff's deputies approached, Jeremy tried to run away….that’s when Deputy Daniel Hollywood used his taser to immobilize Jeremy…and in the process, one of the gun's prongs accidentally hit Jeremy in a "special" place…and stuck…it did, however, immobilize him…

Sounds like what a pervert deserves...


In Northlake, Illinois, Mark Copsy, 42, saw a car careen into a curb there…and then noticed that John and Juliana Brani, 89 and 90, respectively, were inside the car…that then caught on fire…John and Juliana were unable to get out…and the car was locked…unable to smash the windows with his hand or foot, Mark turned to the 20-pound frozen Norbest turkey he and his son had just bought for Thanksgiving…it worked…by the way, Mark is a Hurricane Katrina evacuee from Marrero, Louisiana, currently living with his wife and son in her mother's home in Northlake…


In Muelheim, Germany, an unnamed 60-year-old came home from a night of carousing too inebriated to get out of bed and answer nature’s call…the next morning, he decided to dry the now soiled sheets by applying a hair dryer to the affected area…left the dryer running while he ran out for a bit…and returned to find that a soiled sheet was the least of his concerns…

What's more expensive? Buying a new sheet, or buying a new house?


In Santa Cruz, California, at the conclusion of a night of drinking and other merry-making, an unnamed 20-year-old jumped into a taxi for a ride home…or at least thought he had jumped into a taxi…turns out that he jumped into the patrol car of Santa Cruz County Sheriff's Deputy Esther Beckman…who was out of the vehicle questioning a bicyclist….returning to her vehicle, she was happy to help the party-goer find a place to spend the night…


In Gloucestershire, UK, an unnamed 27-year-old (of "no fixed abode," according to police) allegedly snatched a handbag belonging to a woman there…but as he tried to get away, he collided with a wall and knocked himself unconscious…

Talk about clumsy criminals... out cold.


In Melbourne, Australia, an unnamed 30-year-old was pulled over by police, and found to have a blood-alcohol reading of .119, more than twice the legal limit…a 26-year-old passenger in the car then took a turn at the wheel… but was intercepted minutes later and found to have an even higher blood-alcohol level of .134…then the 33-year-old girlfriend of driver #2, who was on her way to pick up the other two, was pulled over…with a blood-alcohol reading of .08…

Looks like three birds with one stone for law enforcement there.


In Waterford, Michigan, Andrew Jeffrey Webster, 21, walked in to a National City Bank there, handed the teller a note, and walked out with his take…it won’t take police long to find Andrew, however…seems that he has very distinct tattoos on both arms…including one that says "Dumb" on the inside of his right arm…

:lol: "Dumb" :lol: and Waterford is like 15 minutes away from me too... :no:


In Poughkeepsie, New York, Parker T. Hall Houghtaling, 23, was hit in the head last week by a Metro-North commuter train as it pulled into the Poughkeepsie station there (he’s in stable condition)…what’s really odd is that in 2002, Parker was waiting at a subway station in Manhattan…when he stuck his head out and was hit by a subway car…

Dude should either wear an helmet or stop crooning. :forehead:


In Keinberg, Switzerland, Benedict Frank, owner of the Cabaret Club there, was challenged by safety inspectors as to whether his decorations were in keeping with fire safety rules…to prove they were, Benedict used his lighter to set fire to the paper ornaments in an effort to show there was nothing to worry about…the fire quickly spread throughout the club and the neighboring restaurant…burning both to the ground…

Fire-safe alright... :no:


And finally, near Newark, New Jersey, two dozen live turkeys bound for Thanksgiving tables fell off a truck on the New Jersey Turnpike, briefly snarling traffic near Newark Liberty International Airport… the two crates fell as the truck was leaving the highway, and a toll booth supervisor who spotted them contacted authorities…the birds survived the fall, but their Thanksgiving fate was unclear…Joseph Orlando, a spokesman for the New Jersey Turnpike Authority, said, "I think we should be investigating this as an escape attempt”…

[Atlanteax]

In Houston, Texas, firefighters responded to a 911 call from a woman who claimed her 2-year-old baby was stuck in the sewer…only to find that Mrs. Malone's "baby" was a 2-year-old cat…named Baby…they rescued Baby, but they gave Mrs. Malone a ticket for filing a false report (a Class B misdemeanor that could mean up to six months in jail)…before you feel too sorry for Mrs. Malone, she had apparently called the fire department three times about her cat being stuck in a sewer…then on the fourth call, claimed that her "Baby" was stuck…


In Toronto, Canada, an unnamed 16-year-old boy and a buddy were hanging out with a teenage girl at her apartment while her parents were out…but they came back early, found the door dead-bolted, and began raising a ruckus….that’s when the boys opted to duck out the back window…of a 15th floor apartment…using bedsheets that had been knotted together…only to find that their knot-tying skills were less than might have been desirable under the circumstances…

Better than facing a shotgun?


In Bernardsville, New Jersey, Karen Maffucci, 44, was kidnapped…then several hours later her husband David received a ransom call…but by then police had found Karen…gagged, bound, and half-buried along a roadside…but found, nonetheless, and unharmed…we’re pretty sure the ransom wasn’t paid…

Change of heart? :?:


In Bristol, Connecticut, some unnamed kids were playing a game at night on a busy section of Route 72 there…the game is called “dodge car”…and let’s just say that some play it “better” than others…

Hopefully the principles of Darwin-ism applied here.


In Indianapolis, Indiana, an unnamed driver of a Chevy Blazer (a) ran a red light, (b) collided with a Chevrolet Malibu, and then (c) careened off into the side of a building there…a building that turned out to house the law office of personal injury attorneys Mitchell Hurst Jacobs & Dick….the firm’s motto is “Accidents and injuries disrupt lives. We can help restore the balance to yours”...

Guess they didn't need to chase the ambulance that time... :smilegrin:


In Middle Smithfield Township, Pennsylvania, Rodney Gilbert, 45, took his 13-year-old son out for a bit of hunting on the first day of deer season…reportedly a deer walked between the two…and Rodney fired…missing the deer…but striking his son in the leg…

:lol: "MOM!!!! Dad tried to KILL me!!!" :lol:


In Dubai, United Arab Emirates, Abdel Monaim M. Y., who claimed to be bullet proof, had his claims put to the test by Ali S. A., 38, and Abdullah M. S., 30,…with what can only be described as predictable results…

Maybe some of the jihadists could do this and spare us the trouble... :yes:


In Vershire, Vermont, Chris Flanagan, 41, was availing himself of the facilities afforded by an outhouse at the family’s camp there…at the same time when a “young relative” of Chris, unaware of Chris’s location, thought that the structure would make a fine setting for target practice with his rifle…

Dang!! :wow:

I wonder if he was scared shit-less! :smilegrin:


In Gainesville, Florida, Jose Luis Barrientos, 34, and Edgar Javier Villamizar, 28, developed a real estate scam of sorts…posing as civil engineers…and telling landowners that their instruments indicated a hidden treasure somewhere on the property…and telling said landowner that they needed to put surety money on the spot of the buried treasure to be blessed before the treasure can be recovered…and then apparently returning later to make off with the “treasure” that now really was buried on the land…


In Lincolnton, North Carolina, Mark Lewis, 37, and his girlfriend, Lori Dale Brooks, 38, were apparently dialing for drugs at about 4 a.m., randomly dialing numbers in the cell phone’s memory….that’s when they connected with Rick Lynn, and ordered a $50 rock of crack cocaine…which Rick…more accurately, Officer Rick Lynn of the Lincolnton Police Department, was happy to fulfill…apparently Rick’s number was stored in Lewis’ phone because a police informant had used it earlier to try to set up a buy…

Got to love it when they're gift-wrapped for the Police. :yes:


In Des Moines, Iowa, Stewart Jenkins, 33, recently walked into an alley there…saw Patrick Hickey there, and asked Patrick, “What’s up?”….Patrick, in turn, asked “What’s up?”…and Stewart came back with the clever retort, “What’s up?”…and Patrick, being equally clever, responded, “What’s up?”…breaking the chain, Stewart then said, "I'll show you what's up”…entered a nearby house, and returned with a handgun…that’s when plainclothes police Officer Patrick Hickey showed his badge, identified himself as an officer, and pointed HIS gun at Stewart…a subsequent search turned up $700 and a small amount of suspected crack cocaine on Stewart, while a search warrant for the house turned up $8,000 and 15 grams of alleged crack cocaine…and a determination that Stewart is wanted in Michigan, where he was on parole for assault…

'sup? :smug:


In Ormond Beach, Florida, Bernette Powell, 27, was arguing in a parking lot at the Ormond Beach Police Department with a former boyfriend…a boyfriend who told police he had driven there to get away from Bernette…who he said had been "tailgating" and "honking" at him and his new wife…as officers came forward to investigate, Bernette “fled the parking lot in a high rate of speed”…scraping a patrol car on her way out…then lost control of her vehicle, hit a palm tree, and then landed in the Halifax River…

Dang psycho chick stalkers! :no:


In Mount Prospect, Illinois, Bartosz Drobek, 23, was participating in a "spitting contest" for distance from his second-story apartment balcony with his brother and a friend shortly after midnight…Drobek, apparently injecting a bit too much effort into the endeavor…crouched down and sprang up to spit off the balcony…and went over the railing….which may have disqualified him for the contest, but surely entitles him to a shot at the Darwin Awards…

Agreed with the assessment.


And finally, in Concord, New Hampshire, Timothy Dufield, 37, was burglarizing a hair salon there…but when police arrived to investigate, Timothy tried to climb out the back window…through a 9-by-15-inch window frame…and, by the look of it, Timothy is 10-by-16…it’s one of those times when a picture is worth a thousand words…HERE http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1129052burglar1.html#2005

Yep, no escape for this moron. :lol:

[Atlanteax]

vIn Nebraska City, Nebraska, Jacob H. Carman, 20, managed to escape a reckless driving conviction from County Judge John Steinheider, who noted; "As much as it pains me to do it, speed and speed alone is not sufficient to establish reckless driving. If you had had a passenger, there would be no question of conviction. If there had been other cars on the roadway, if you would've went into the wrong lane or anything, I would have convicted you" - - - Jacob was chased by a trooper at the top speed of his cruiser's odometer — 128 mph…he was, however, fined $300 for expired tags and other violations…[/quote]

Dumbassed Judge!! :thumbsdown:


…last week we reported on the odd situation in Bernardsville, New Jersey, where Karen Maffucci, 44, was kidnapped…then several hours later her husband David received a ransom call…but by then police had found Karen…who had managed to escape from her bonds (duct tape), so the ransom was not paid…turns out that the kidnapping culprit was Edgar del Cid-Perez, 34, an illegal immigrant from Guatemala who had been laid off by the Maffucci’s four month’s earlier…after spending the night in a shed at the Maffucci’s (drinking whiskey), Edgar set his crime spree in motion….Edgar claims he only asked for the $1,300 he claimed David Maffucci owed him in back pay…as for his actions, Edgar admitted, "Sometimes a person makes mistakes, and (especially) when you're under the influence of alcohol”…

'cept this mistake is going to cost him more than the $1300 he was looking for.


In Washington, DC, Michael V. Donahoe, 53, who may be the city's unluckiest bank robber, entered a guilty plea this week for a bank robbery he committed last October…Michael, you may remember, had his getaway thwarted by a witness who followed him out of the bank - - - and blocked the way when he tried to escape in a taxi - - - then a dye pack that had been put in with his take exploded in front of a lunchtime crowd - - - that included two FBI agents who happened to be eating nearby…


In Blue Springs, Missouri, Candice Smith, 44, a payment recovery specialist for the Center for Medicaid Services who had access to use a LexisNexis data base that contains personal information about US citizens for her federal job - - - has been sentenced to four years of probation for using that access to help her avoid arrest and prosecution for her side business - - - prostitution…

That's a pretty smart "trick" she performed, other than getting caught.


In London, UK, the Tesco supermarket chain is introducing something it says will help make eating at your desk a more enjoyable experience - - the musical sandwich. Opening the top of the sandwich box will activate a tiny sound module that plays a selection of music. This season's offering will be a medley of Christmas tunes including Jingle Bells, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, and We Wish You a Merry Christmas. Reuters says that future flavor/song combinations under consideration include Prawn To Be Wild, Let It Brie, and that old Morris Albert "favorite” - - - Fillings…

Yes, I really want my food to sing to me before I eat it... :no: :thumbsdown:


In Memphis, Tennessee, Jessica Sandy Booth, 18, was visiting some acquaintances there, when she saw what she thought was a block of cocaine - - - inspiring Booth, an aspiring model, to hatch a plot whereby she would hire someone to break into the home, take the drugs, and kill the inhabitants - - -all so she could pay $7,900 to a modeling agency - - - Jessica made two mistakes: (1) the block of cocaine turned out to be a block of queso fresco cheese - - - and (2) the hit man she hired turned out to be an undercover policeman…(can’t you just imagine a sadistic police photographer asking her to say “cheese” for her mug shot?)…

"Cheese" :lol:


In Aalesund, Norway, Vegard Sjaastad, 24, delivered a pizza to a house there - - - but thought there was something familiar about the customer's credit card - - - it turned out to be HIS card, and had been stolen the day before - - - and the card had Vegard’s picture on the back…


In San Antonio, Texas, Gilbert Salas, 55, was watching TV when his 33-year-old neighbor came over - - - and said that someone stole some tools from his pickup - - - Gilbert then confronted two teens he suspected of stealing the tools with a pistol, firing a shot into the air - - - the teens were then able to persuade Gilbert to put the gun down - - - and fight with his fists - - - Gilbert did - - - and then one of the teens tried to pick up the gun - - - which accidentally went off - - - - wounding Gilbert in the foot…

The smarter thing to do was keep the gun on them and wait for the police to arrive if he was so certain that they stole his tools...


.In San Francisco, California, Daniel Zeiszler, 22, was something of a budding chemist, attempting to extract methampheta.mine from his own urine (this is actually possible, but it requires copious quantities of urine) - - - but then Daniel spilled some solvent on himself - - - then lit a cigarette while he contemplated his next move - - - then starting a fire that burned his right hand and arm - - - leading to the evacuation of the hotel where he was staying - - - and the summoning of police - - - who noted that Daniel was already awaiting sentencing for a no contest plea to a charge of manufacturing methamphetamine…


In Hilton Head, South Carolina, John Raheem Sweat, 22, held up a Hilton Head Island hotel at gunpoint Wednesday morning…he got away with an undetermined amount of cash…but when police arrived about 10 minutes later…they couldn’t help but notice the strange behavior of…. John Raheem Sweat, 22, who had returned to the hotel to find the gun he dropped while making his escape…

"Oops, I forgot my gun officer, I'll just be on my way..." :slapforehead:


In Michigan City, Michigan, Cindee Goetz, a library worker, has been suspended because she spent too much time trying to rescue a squirrel which was trapped in the ceiling of the public library…Cindee contacted a friend who owns an animal-removal business after a company hired by the library stopped using a nonkill trap and tried to get the squirrel with a trap that would have killed it…Cindee claims that she was also reprimanded last year for caring for an abandoned bird during work breaks while keeping it in a garage at the library branch in LaPorte…


In Murfreesboro, Tennessee, two government employees, Veterans Affairs workers Joseph Haymond and Natalie Coker, were arrested for taking kickbacks on the purchase of buying….(I kid you not) …..red tape. That’s right, they were charged with taking bribes for buying the tape, normally $2.50 per roll, for $6.95 each - - and they got kickbacks of $1 per roll for the purchases made between 1999 and 2001…

Red tape kickbacks... fitting. :lol:


And finally, in Hartford, Connecticut, Javier Rodriguez, 28, was arraigned this week on 17 charges (including four counts of terrorism that could send him to prison for 80 years, after calling in a bomb threat that resulted in the evacuation of all 45 state courthouses last Friday while they were searched for explosives - - - Javier, a food service worker at the University of Connecticut, made the threats because he was supposed to appear in court to face several motor vehicle charges, including driving with a suspended license – but could not get a ride to court - - - he told police he did not want to drive himself to court because his license had been suspended - - - - although he later did drive to the courthouse to see if it had been evacuated…

:wow:

[Atlanteax]

In case anyone is following these...

I've put up *3* new ones.

[Jorddyn]

Originally posted by Atlanteax
In case anyone is following these...

I've put up *3* new ones.

It's about damn time :D

Jorddyn

[Apotheosis]

all the stories that come from Michigan make me embarassed to live in this state.

[4a6c1]

quote:
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In Hilton Head, South Carolina, John Raheem Sweat, 22, held up a Hilton Head Island hotel at gunpoint Wednesday morning…he got away with an undetermined amount of cash…but when police arrived about 10 minutes later…they couldn’t help but notice the strange behavior of…. John Raheem Sweat, 22, who had returned to the hotel to find the gun he dropped while making his escape…
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Hahaha. Now why dosnt that suprise me about Hilton Head.

[Leetahkin]

BUMP

I miss reading these on Friday!
Any chance of you starting again?! :yes2:

[Daniel]

Where?