Proof that women are evil

[Parkbandit]

The FBI had an opening for an assassin.
After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done
there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large
metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what
the circumstances.
Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!


The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife." The
agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your
wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and
went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go
home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions,
to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.
She wiped the sweat from her brow.

"This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death
with the chair."

[Atlanteax]

:lol:

I had expected to see that "logical conclusion proof" with Women = Time x Money.

[Asha]

Which film did I see that joke told in?

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

One day a few years back I was sitting on the porch with my Dad, and he turned to me and said, with a very sincere look in his eyes, "Bill, do you know why God called women, women?"

I thought about it a second, then said no.

.
.
.
.
.
"Because Satan was already taken."

[CrystalTears]

You needed proof that women are evil? :lol:

[Asha]

Truth (http://www.big-boys.com/joke.asp?ID=1979)

[Edited on 4-11-2005 by Drayal]

[rupa]

Living proof, right here.

[fallenSaint]

Originally posted by CrystalTears
You needed proof that women are evil? :lol:

When I saw the topic I had full intent of stoping by to say that exact line, its already taken so Ill second it. /2cents

Women get a lot less evil when you are like "Fuck you, I'm not buying you anymore shoes"

- Arkans

[CrystalTears]

<--- doesn't buy or like to buy shoes :moon2:

[Apotheosis]

Originally posted by CrystalTears
<--- doesn't buy or like to buy shoes :moon2:


What's wrong with you CT?!!!@! everyone woman I know is like, instinctually drawn to shoe sales/deals, even if they're in the most remote areas!!! :?:

[Showal]

Hey CT,

Want to replace my current girlfriend and save me some money? Do you require dinner 4-5 times a month?

[CrystalTears]

All I can think of is that I'm not really my mother's child. She has said this to me before when trying to cooerce me to shop with her. I'd rather hang myself from the highest building by my toenails.

The woman owns over 130 pairs of shoes. The entire master bedroom closet houses them. My poor stepfather has to use the spare bedroom for his stuff. She says she's a simple girl. Steppy laughed himself into a near stroke.

I own maybe 10 pairs of shoes. I wear only 3 of them on a regular basis. I have a pair of Keds, a pair of workout sneakers, and a pair of black shoes that I wear with nearly everything. My black heels are collecting dust until I wear them at the next Xmas party. I don't know where the rest of them are. Probably under the chair being chewed on by my ferret.

I don't know what the fascination is with shoes, let alone shopping in general. When my black shoes break (and that's a matter of time because the back of them is starting to frey), I'll buy another pair. Same goes with the sneakers. I don't need other shoes. And I HATE shopping for clothes. It would have to be a matter of everything being burnt in a fire or nothing fitting for me to resort to shopping. I can't stand it.

All my shopping for gifts is done online. Can't ship to your address? Sucks to be you. :D

[Warriorbird]

Nobody needs proof. All you have to do is spend time with them. It's a nice sort of evil, most of the time.

[4a6c1]

Originally posted by CrystalTears
You needed proof that women are evil? :lol:

Yeah. wtf, we coulda helped you with that.

[Shari]

Shoes suck.

The pair of shoes I wear most often are a pair of black Reef flip-flops. Feels like I'm barefoot.

I have one pair of sneakers for work, and then 5 other pairs of sandals/flip-flops.

Its too fucking hot here to wear shoes.

[Nilandia]

Hate shopping, especially shoe shopping. Ick!

Now, Gemstone shopping, on the other hand...

THAT I'll go for!

Nilandia

[Azul]

I know alot of guys who have more shoes than their women. They have to have the newest Jordan's or Air Force Ones (which go for more than a $100 a pair)

[Caiylania]

Originally posted by CrystalTears
<--- doesn't buy or like to buy shoes :moon2:

Ditto!

[4a6c1]

buying purses = :drool:

[Latrinsorm]

Originally posted by Nilandia
Hate shopping, especially shoe shopping. Ick!

Now, Gemstone shopping, on the other hand...

THAT I'll go for!Yeah, me too.

Well enough chitchat, I have to go tear some phonebooks in half with my bare hands and have a 28 pound steak dinner.