Awkwardness...

[Edaarin]

I guess this is a thread to share those awkward social situations.

Today, I went with a friend and her parents to Harris Teeter. We're at the checkout line, and I notice she's mixing my stuff and her stuff, and when I brought it to her attention she just said, "Don't worry about it, my mom said they wanted to take care of it."

I always feel odd when someone else pays for me. It's weird and awkward, because I just stood there like an idiot when her mom was paying for it, and as we were walking out I tried to give her some money because honestly, I bought a lot of crap. Her dad (who used to be a Marine, is scary as hell, and frankly who I think has a few screws loose) brushes it off saying, "You don't have a job."

I know they're not exactly "well off," and it was bugging the crap out of me the whole ride back. What's the right protocol in this situation? Obviously I thanked them, but I really didn't want them to pay.

[Stunseed]

Put money where they can find it, with a note explaining why you did it. You're a proud man, and it's not in your personal morals to not pay for something you purchased.

[Back]

Its the opportune moment, despite what the girl said, to whip out the CC and pay for everything.

[Edaarin]

It's not that I don't like free stuff. I mean, still a poor college student with bills and shit to pay. I take advantage of all the free shit I got offered while interviewing with companies, and I abuse the hell out of promotions and junk like that.

It's hard to explain here why I'm having such a problem with this.

[HarmNone]

Sometimes, people just want to do something for someone they like and whose company they enjoy. I'm sure you've had that feeling, yourself.

Accept the gift gracefully, with a "Thank you". There will be a time in the future when you can return the favor. :)

[Edaarin]

That's just the thing though. This was the first time I'd met them, and the first time I said a word to either was in the car on the way there. It's not like I'm dating their daughter or anything.

[Jorddyn]

I have to agree with HarmNone. The appropriate response to any gift (or even any compliment) is "Thank you."

If you feel that isn't enough, send a thank you card. You'd be amazed how many bonus points you'll earn :)

Jorddyn

[HarmNone]

Just because it's the first time you'd met them doesn't mean they didn't like you, silly. They wanted to do something for you and they did. It was an act of kindness, perhaps. Who knows?

The point is, they wished to do it and did. The proper response is a sincere "Thank you". There's nothing for you to feel guilty about. :)

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

You should totally knock up the daughter and skip town. That'll teach em!

Or, you could do what Stun said, which is a pretty good idea :)

[Syberus]

I think it depends on the people though. Stun's idea isn't a bad one... unless they're the kind of people that would be offended by it. I know you mean well in paying them back as you didn't ask for them to buy you anything to begin with, but you need to take into consideration that it's a possibility that they'll be offended if you try to give them money and then leave. I think a Thank you, and maybe sending a card is a good idea.

[Artha]

It's not like I'm dating their daughter or anything.
Is she hot?

[Edaarin]

Very much out of my league.

[Edited on 3-28-2005 by Edaarin]

[Kyra]

You could send a thank you card like someone else suggested. I've been in those kind of situations & once I bought a gift card to the store where the purchases were paid for..in the same amount as I would have owed for the items. I had put it in the thank you card when I gave it to them.

K.

[JadeScarlet]

I have some very good friends whose parents have done that occasionally. Usually they invite me to go out to dinner with them and they have paid for grocerys when we've gone shopping together.

In return I usually help her and her sister pack up boxes when we are moving out of our dorm rooms at the end of the year. You mentioned you were in college, so I assume she is also. And like most college students I know, moving is frequent, especially if you live in the dorms. So you could always offer to help her carry boxes etc. or if she needs help with any other job at home like getting a new couch and needing someone to carry it up the stairs. It might be less ackward than mailing her parents a check for groceries.

[Shari]

My parents are like that too. Just recently some friends from my work and I (along with some of my family and some of their friends) went out at our local Ren Fair. Every time on the ride home we stop at a gas station and load up on munchies. My mom grabbed the girls items and put them on the counter saying she'd take care of it. They seemed to be against it first but I told them that's just how she is.

I'd say, be polite and say thank you like HarmNone suggested. I'm sure a time will come when you can return the favor.

[Edited on 3-28-2005 by Jesae]

Originally posted by Edaarin
Very much out of my league.


[Edited on 3-28-2005 by Edaarin]

I swear when I move to DC and you ever say shit like that I'm punching you in the kidneys

[Warriorbird]

Thank you note is a good call.

[Atlanteax]

If you believe that they know you were sincere about paying for it yourself...

... then chalk it up to an act of generosity/friendship.

[DeV]

My mom has done this for my friends many a time and it all boils down to a sincere generousity. You're having a hard time with it because it came out of nowhere and you didn't expect it. Naturally understandable. If they didn't want to do it, they wouldn't have. They know you didn't have a job so they obviously know more about you than you think. Sounds like they were just doing something nice for their daughters friend.

[Parkbandit]

Originally posted by Edaarin
Very much out of my league.

[Edited on 3-28-2005 by Edaarin]

I've hit many women that most considered out of my league.

The power of word man. You are already friends with her... which can be the tough part. Gradually take it to the next step. You'll be pounding that in a month.

Nothing says, "Victory", like pinning her down to the ground and tea bagging the shit out of her.

- Arkans

[Wezas]

Originally posted by Parkbandit
You'll be pounding that in a month.

Anyone else read that the first time as "You'll be pounding that in the mouth"?

No?

Something's wrong with me.

[Atlanteax]

Originally posted by Wezas

Originally posted by Parkbandit
You'll be pounding that in a month.

Anyone else read that the first time as "You'll be pounding that in the mouth"?

No?

Something's wrong with me.

You sir, are correct. :weird:

[Edited on 3-28-2005 by Atlanteax]

[Parkbandit]

Originally posted by Wezas

Originally posted by Parkbandit
You'll be pounding that in a month.

Anyone else read that the first time as "You'll be pounding that in the mouth"?

No?

Something's wrong with me.

Same difference though.. no?

:D

[Keller]

Meals and taxi fares are picked up out of awkward generosity. This was thought out and I'm sure they would be offended if you tried to hide money for them. Send them a thank you note and remember the example when you're a father.

[Edaarin]

I settled it by taking her to lunch after class today.

For PB, Ranger, and everyone else, I should note here that not only am I already dating someone else, this girl's boyfriend is very large, black, and has a perpetually angry look on his face.

[Artha]

Just tell him you know Kung Fu and he won't fuck with you.

[Jorddyn]

Originally posted by Edaarin
For PB, Ranger, and everyone else, I should note here that not only am I already dating someone else, this girl's boyfriend is very large, black, and has a perpetually angry look on his face.

Then why in the hell are you trying to get with his girlfriend? :saint:

Jorddyn

[Edaarin]

1. I'm not.
2. She has a body that most men would willingly go to prison for.

[Parkbandit]

Originally posted by Edaarin

For PB, Ranger, and everyone else, I should note here that not only am I already dating someone else, this girl's boyfriend is very large, black, and has a perpetually angry look on his face.

:hitit:

Yea. I'm still not seeing a problem.