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Kuyuk
03-17-2005, 11:33 AM
I put conditioner on my penis in the shower to make it super soft [rinse it off though, idiots]. Much like strippers put lotion on their tits to make them soft.

It works great.


K.
Atlanteax
03-17-2005, 11:35 AM
Definately too much information... :weird:

[Edited on 3-17-2005 by HarmNone]
Kuyuk
03-17-2005, 11:38 AM
I try.



K.
Warriorbird
03-17-2005, 11:43 AM
Eh. Happened to me a few times. Always leaves a sort've unpleasant feel and texture. I suggest talking to the SO/spouse for a far better sort of softening.
Wezas
03-17-2005, 11:52 AM
Do you get alot of demands from girls saying "Give it to me soft"?

Also semi-on topic, there's a guy at my work who does some kind of Kegel exercises everytime he takes a piss. I'm sitting in the stall trying to concentrate on the situation at hand, when suddenly I hear someone pee.... stop.... pee.... stop...

I understand the thought behind it, but jesus it feels good to just let it all out with a full bladder. Don't think I could stop and start like that.
Warriorbird
03-17-2005, 12:20 PM
Important for Tantric work, but not something I'd do in a public bathroom. You'd wonder if someone was dying.

:snickers:
xtc
03-17-2005, 02:05 PM
conditioner on penis = very beef wellington
HarmNone
03-17-2005, 02:08 PM
Thank you ever so much, Kuyuk, for posting this important bit of penis hygeine news for our male readers. I'm sure they're really very grateful to you. Yes. I am. Really.:help:
Brattt8525
03-17-2005, 02:17 PM
Here I thought we were going to hear about how he did laps and chin ups and maybe some dry run throughs to get his penis in top condition :lolwave: Penis marathon!
Toxicvixen
03-17-2005, 02:30 PM
I was thinking of penis pushups from Tenacious D. :D
Bobmuhthol
03-17-2005, 02:34 PM
Conditioner + plastic bag + couch

That is the secret to success.
Makkah
03-17-2005, 02:43 PM
<<I hear someone pee.... stop.... pee.... stop... >>

I thought this was really, really bad for your prostate?
Kuyuk
03-17-2005, 02:53 PM
<Conditioner + plastic bag + couch

That is the secret to success. >


Wtf?



<I thought this was really, really bad for your prostate? >

Could be, though if you think about it, contracting the muscle to do so is good for your prostrate, so I dont see how it would be bad...


<Thank you ever so much, Kuyuk, for posting this important bit of penis hygeine news for our male readers. I'm sure they're really very grateful to you. Yes. I am. Really. >

Want to feel?


K.
HarmNone
03-17-2005, 03:04 PM
Feel? By the Grove, Kuyuk! Is it that long? :scared:
AnticorRifling
03-17-2005, 03:08 PM
Originally posted by Toxicvixen
I was thinking of penis pushups from Tenacious D. :D

That's cock pushups and you only have to do 1. I've got all of D's stuff on my playlist at work.

And soft isn't really the right word, it's more smooth and supple. Soft when talking about your unit implies you can't get it up.

I lotion my body but I tend to go light on the meat and step kids because I can't see lotion/cologne tasting that good and that would ruin teh bj for her meaning it would be ruined for me as well :cool:
Kainen
03-17-2005, 03:09 PM
Heh, when I went to read this thread.. I wasn't expecting you telling everyone that you put conditioner on your penis.. I was hoping for something more interesting.
Jolena
03-17-2005, 03:11 PM
:popcorn2:
Kuyuk
03-17-2005, 03:42 PM
<I lotion my body but I tend to go light on the meat and step kids because I can't see lotion/cologne tasting that good and that would ruin teh bj for her meaning it would be ruined for me as well >


From my original post:
<I put conditioner on my penis in the shower to make it super soft [rinse it off though, idiots].>

Play again next week.


<And soft isn't really the right word, it's more smooth and supple. Soft when talking about your unit implies you can't get it up.>

I can prove I can get it up, so I can say soft without incriminating my manhood.


<Heh, when I went to read this thread.. I wasn't expecting you telling everyone that you put conditioner on your penis.. I was hoping for something more interesting. >

Sorry, my girl laughed at me when I told her in the shower this morning that I was going to post about conditioning my penis. So I did it.


<Feel? By the Grove, Kuyuk! Is it that long? >

:yes:


K.
AnticorRifling
03-17-2005, 03:44 PM
I was agreeing with you Kuyuk, leaving most products on your junk tends to be a bad thing.
Kuyuk
03-17-2005, 03:45 PM
<I was agreeing with you Kuyuk, leaving most products on your junk tends to be a bad thing.>

I agree. Even miracle grow.


K.
Kainen
03-17-2005, 03:47 PM
How could you even say Miracle Grow.. everytime I see that stuff it reminds me of that bushy eyebrowed old man that used to be in thier commercials.
HarmNone
03-17-2005, 03:48 PM
Hmmm. Well, toss it over here, then, and I'll give you my professional opinion. ;)
Jolena
03-17-2005, 03:50 PM
Damnit HN! You made me snarf! :lol:
Kainen
03-17-2005, 03:50 PM
Erf.. how's he going to TOSS it over to you if it's attached?? On second thought.. I don't want to know.
HarmNone
03-17-2005, 03:59 PM
Sweetie! As long as he claims this thing to be, it should be sorta like tossing a tether ball...just long distance. :D
Sylph
03-17-2005, 04:03 PM
Dear gods... WHY did I open this thread?
Kuyuk
03-17-2005, 04:08 PM
<Sweetie! As long as he claims this thing to be, it should be sorta like tossing a tether ball...just long distance. >

You should see the size of mushroom stamps I give.

K.
Kuyuk
03-17-2005, 04:32 PM
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/bigballs.mpg
Tsunami
03-17-2005, 05:02 PM
OH MY GOD! :scared:

And I'VE got the biggest BALLS of them all!

[Edited on 3-17-2005 by Tsunami]
The Cat In The Hat
03-17-2005, 05:03 PM
ewwe!
Snapp
03-17-2005, 05:06 PM
:weird:
Tsunami
03-17-2005, 05:11 PM
Oh come on Snapp...you know that gave you a woody...now go condition it....:yes:
rupa
03-17-2005, 05:17 PM
Hey, it's his johnson, and he can condition it as often, for as long and as fast as he wants.


By the way, that link is just cringe-worthy.
Snapp
03-17-2005, 05:26 PM
Originally posted by Tsunami
Oh come on Snapp...you know that gave you a woody...now go condition it....:yes:

OMG HOW'D YOU KNOW?! STALKER!!!!!!!!
Toxicvixen
03-17-2005, 05:27 PM
I don't think I want to click anything that says big balls on it. I already get to see hampster balls each time Chadj posts. :weird:
Wezas
03-17-2005, 06:05 PM
Originally posted by Toxicvixen
I don't think I want to click anything that says big balls on it. I already get to see hampster balls each time Chadj posts. :weird:

Smart move. Maybe we should put a "Not Safe For Work" disclaimer on that one.

And also, I'd hate to be that guy helping him.
Enceladus
03-17-2005, 08:32 PM
Just take The Penis Mightier, endorsed by Sean Connery.
Kuyuk
03-17-2005, 08:36 PM
<And also, I'd hate to be that guy helping him. >

I thought the same when I watched it.


K.
Gamukak
03-17-2005, 08:44 PM
OK, against my better instincts, I read this.

The first thing I was thinking when I saw the topic was the lady at work yesterday explaining how her son pounds on his legs with a 2x4 to toughen them up.

I truly expected to hear about something similar.
SiKWiDiT
03-17-2005, 09:00 PM
Are you talking about hair conditioner?
Kuyuk
03-17-2005, 09:02 PM
<Are you talking about hair conditioner?>


Yes. Herbal essenses.


K.
SiKWiDiT
03-17-2005, 09:04 PM
That shit doesn't work.
AnticorRifling
03-17-2005, 09:54 PM
But will it mighty my penis man? I've spent a pretty penny on such products I don't mind telling you and if it actually works you're sitting on a gold mine Trebek.
The Cat In The Hat
03-17-2005, 10:57 PM
Im glad he conditions it, rather than hitting it with a 2x4
HarmNone
03-17-2005, 11:04 PM
From what he's given me to understand, a 2X4 wouldn't even put a dent in this thing!:ohshit:
peam
03-17-2005, 11:16 PM
I prefer my rough and calloused penis.
Hamurr
03-18-2005, 12:35 AM
I found that when I cut back on playing with it, the callouses on my penis went down.

On the down side, my blood pressure went up.

Thus I am back to one handed typing but with much better blood pressure.
Snapp
03-18-2005, 03:19 AM
Leave it to a topic like this to bring Hamurr out of the woodwork! :) Nice to see you're still around buddy.