Killer Kitten
03-15-2005, 01:22 PM
My physical therapist told me I need to do non strenuous things with my hands to slow down the arthritis, so I signed up for a class in wood carving.
Last night was the first lesson. About an hour into the class my knife slips and I cut a lovely deep gash into the base of my left thumb. Much blood, pretty spectacular. Being a thrifty Yankee, I don't want to miss out on the rest of the class, so I took three band aids from the instructors first aid kit, butterfly the wound closed with them, then throw on a glove and go back to the lesson. (My carving of a bird actually looks more like a bird than an anonymous hunk of wood. Yay me!)
When I got home it was still hurting and I realized I haven't had a tetanus shot since 1994. I have dinner with the husband, then drive myself over to the local E.R.
Of course they decide that they must sew it up. This process involves injections around the wound with a local anesthetic that hurt like mad. It also involves reaming out the wound (ouch!), then sewing it up, which hurt despite the anesthetic.
To distract myself so I didn't blubber like a weenie (or go to the cubicle next door and strangle the screaming baby), I told jokes to the P.A. and the paramedic who were working on me.
The only jokes I could think of were the dreadful ones from the 'short jokes' thread. We ended up with five people in the cubicle, everybody groaning as the jokes got worse and worse. The two favorites of the night were the PGA tour joke and George Bushes tie.
So thanks to everybody in the P.C. who put jokes up for me to shamelessly plagiarize, saving myself from humiliation and weenie-dom. Ended up having ten stitches, easily beating my last high score of seven.
Last night was the first lesson. About an hour into the class my knife slips and I cut a lovely deep gash into the base of my left thumb. Much blood, pretty spectacular. Being a thrifty Yankee, I don't want to miss out on the rest of the class, so I took three band aids from the instructors first aid kit, butterfly the wound closed with them, then throw on a glove and go back to the lesson. (My carving of a bird actually looks more like a bird than an anonymous hunk of wood. Yay me!)
When I got home it was still hurting and I realized I haven't had a tetanus shot since 1994. I have dinner with the husband, then drive myself over to the local E.R.
Of course they decide that they must sew it up. This process involves injections around the wound with a local anesthetic that hurt like mad. It also involves reaming out the wound (ouch!), then sewing it up, which hurt despite the anesthetic.
To distract myself so I didn't blubber like a weenie (or go to the cubicle next door and strangle the screaming baby), I told jokes to the P.A. and the paramedic who were working on me.
The only jokes I could think of were the dreadful ones from the 'short jokes' thread. We ended up with five people in the cubicle, everybody groaning as the jokes got worse and worse. The two favorites of the night were the PGA tour joke and George Bushes tie.
So thanks to everybody in the P.C. who put jokes up for me to shamelessly plagiarize, saving myself from humiliation and weenie-dom. Ended up having ten stitches, easily beating my last high score of seven.