Promise rings.

[Hips]

Just curious if you guys think they're lame or not.

So, discuss!

[Drew2]

Yes, because my best friend gave one to his girlfriend and everyone knows he's gay except him.

Even his mother.

The end.

Very lame. How can anyone make that kind of a promise without being able to tell the future? Shit happens and you never know when.

- Arkans

[SpunGirl]

I had one from Jake for about ten months before we were engaged. I think they're very sweet and cute, not necessarily right for everyone. :shrug: Do what you want to do, if you like the symbolism, go with it.

-K

[peam]

I think they're cute and all. A nice gesture, but to assume they hold the meaning they're supposed to is a bit silly.

[Hips]

Originally posted by Arkans
Very lame. How can anyone make that kind of a promise without being able to tell the future? Shit happens and you never know when.

- Arkans

I picture them as a sort of pre-engagement ring. You want to hopefully get married someday, but things (like a mandatory three year "overseas" stint in Alaska for the Air Force) are getting in the way. :shrug:

[Divinity]

Depends on what the promise details. Rings are always nice, and promises are great, but it seems to be something popular from my highschool.

I think the sentiment is lovely, but I am more for a realistic relationship.

[Hulkein]

Since I don't wear jewelry, I probably wouldn't wear one.

Unless it was like a pre-engagement type deal, then you gotta get used to wearing a ring anyway.

It sounds nice in your situation, Michiko.

Can you honestly "promise" what will happen over three years? I don't think so. Still lame.

- Arkans

[Hulkein]

Yes... you can.

[Darnell]

Anyone who uses promise rings should be lead to the same fate as this guy...

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/03/04/chimp.attack.ap/

D

Right and you can predict the future too, right?

- Arkans

[Hips]

Originally posted by Hulkein
Since I don't wear jewelry, I probably wouldn't wear one.

Unless it was like a pre-engagement type deal, then you gotta get used to wearing a ring anyway.

It sounds nice in your situation, Michiko.

I don't even think they make them for guys, heheh. And it would be a pre-engagement thing, until the three years is up. 'Cause by then I'll have graduated and he'll be able to pick what base he wants to transfer to, so we can actually live together (like we had planned to do in the fall if he wasn't being transfered). And... yeah.

Thank you all for the input.

[DCSL]

I like them, but I'm a closet sap. Gimme an unabashedly sappy, sentimental, over romantic gesture like that any day over "realism". To me, it shows that the person doesn't care what it looks like, the jokes that might be made about it, because that's how they feel and they want to show it. But that seems to be just me.

[Hulkein]

How is promising someone something seeing into the future?

Do you ever say 'yeah, I'll meet you there tomorrow,' because if so, HOW DO U KNOW U MIGHT BE HOSPITALIZED AFTER GETTING HIT BY A TRUCK U CANT SEE IN TEH FUTURE

[Hulkein]

Originally posted by GS3 Michiko
I don't even think they make them for guys, heheh.

Heh, shows how much I know.

Not the guy to ask about jewelry. I have a crucifix that I haven't worn since I was like ten, that's about it.

Promise ring states something, a promise. A promise made three years into the future? Fuck that.

- Arkans

[Hips]

Maybe some of us are more capable of keeping promises like that than others. :shrug: :rolleyes:

[Hulkein]

It might not suit you, but it's not impossible.

Do you plan on getting married? That's a promise for the rest of your life....

I plan on getting married yes, but I make no guarntees that it will work.

- Arkans

[Darnell]

Originally posted by Arkans
I plan on getting married yes, but I make no guarntees that it will work.

- Arkans

I agree with Arkans. he "planned" on getting married, but that obviously didn't work. we all know what happened to his wife. Here's a picture of the happy couple before all hell broke loose

D

PWNED

- Arkans

[Hips]

Can we keep the Hitler-picture-posting to a minimum, unless it's relevant?

[Edited on 3-11-2005 by GS3 Michiko]

That was extremely relevant. A promise that was not kept.

- Arkans

[Hips]

Right. Forget I asked then.

[petroglyph]

I just find them bizarre.

I mean, engagement, n. A mutual promise to marry.

So a promise ring is. . .what? Promising that you'll promise to marry them in the future?

Just get engaged already.

[Shari]

I'm sorta with petroglyph here.

Save the money and use it to buy a bigger stone for the engagement ring. <ducks>

[Divinity]

Wow.. people really know how to "help."

Anyways, they do make promise rings for guys. I think what you really need to ask yourself is what kind of promise you are making to him, yourself, and the relationship. Do you really think you can keep that over the course of three years?

You were horrified when they said two years, and now that you found out another year is tacked onto that..

I don't know, but from things that you have posted here and on other boards, it doesn't sound like something you are going to be able to do. Yes, you could try and see what happens.

If I was in your situation, and knew I couldn't do it even if I gave myself the pep talk.. I would just cut him loose. I wouldn't want to put him and me through such a process, and that way we can say our goodbyes face-to-face.

Ultimately, the choice is riding on you Jess. Ring or no ring, you have a lot of thinking to do.

[Edited on 3-11-2005 by Divinity]

[Hips]

I think I can do it. It's just that I've never been faced with a situation like this before.

I actually think it'll be a good experience for us... if we can make it through the two years apart, then I'll most likely move to Fairbanks so that we can live together for the last year before he can pick another base. It'll give us a chance to see if we can deal with living with each other.

[Skeeter]

I'll give you this ring, and hope you'll promise not to throw the poon at anyone while I'm gone for 3 years. It's like marking territory without all that commitment junk to get in the way.

So yeah, promise ring = lame

[Hips]

Originally posted by Skeeter
I'll give you this ring, and hope you'll promise not to throw the poon at anyone while I'm gone for 3 years. It's like marking territory without all that commitment junk to get in the way.

So yeah, promise ring = lame

Maybe in your opinion there's no commitment, but to the both of us there is.

[Divinity]

Then why are you posting one thing and then posting another? You're sending out mixed signals here Jess.

[Edited on 3-11-2005 by Divinity]

[Skeeter]

Originally posted by GS3 Michiko

Originally posted by Skeeter
I'll give you this ring, and hope you'll promise not to throw the poon at anyone while I'm gone for 3 years. It's like marking territory without all that commitment junk to get in the way.

So yeah, promise ring = lame

Maybe in your opinion there's no commitment, but to the both of us there is.

Then why not just have a long engagement? Shit I was engaged for 2 years before I got married.

[Hips]

Originally posted by Divinity
Then why are you posting one thing and then posting another? You're sending out mixed signals here Jess.

[Edited on 3-11-2005 by Divinity]

Where am I posting two different things? When I first found out about the situation, I said that I want it to work but I'm worried that it won't. Now I'm saying that I want it to work and that I think it will, but naturally I'm still worried that it won't.

Where are the two different things? :?:

Edit: Also, if you're not going to refer to me as "Michiko" then use "Jessa," please? I hate the name "Jess."

[Edited on 3-11-2005 by GS3 Michiko]

[Hips]

Originally posted by Skeeter
Then why not just have a long engagement? Shit I was engaged for 2 years before I got married.

I suppose we could do that, but we both think 3+ years is a rather long time to be engaged.

[Skeeter]

re-reading my post, it came accross a bit snide.

I find the promise ring silly. But I hope it works out for you. Much :love: for Michiko

[Divinity]

I used Jessa, and someone corrected me so I edited it back to Jess.. Argh, ok.

Anyways, read through what you posted on the other boards. You bounce around a lot with your feelings, understandably, but the over all tone that I got from it was not hopeful.

[Hips]

Originally posted by Divinity
I used Jessa, and someone corrected me so I edited it back to Jess.. Argh, ok.

Anyways, read through what you posted on the other boards. You bounce around a lot with your feelings, understandably, but the over all tone that I got from it was not hopeful.

It's no big deal, I just hate that name for some reason. "Jessi/e" too.

I've had a while to think it over since we both found out (and I originally posted, heh) and we've talked about extensively together, and we both think it'll work out. It's going to take a lot of effort but we're both willing to give it whatever it takes.

I'm probably stressing over it too much as it is... he doesn't leave for Kuwait until May and then he leaves for Alaska in December, so if we change our minds for some reason between now and then we still have plenty of time.

[Nakiro]

Commitment is an important part of any relationship. Expressing the level of commitment you share with another person with a ring (or a tattoo, bracelet, or anything else) isn't dumb.

Decide first what your commitment is. You can then express it in whatever object or act you want. Whats more important is how you feel about that commitment, not what some nimrod's think on a message board.

[Drew]

What exactly does a promise ring promise?

[Nakiro]

Whatever you'd like it to promise.

[Drew]

"I promise that I will never give you a dumbass gift like this again"

[Sean]

I don't really understand them, why not just get an engagement ring. Last I checked there was no statute of limitations on how long one can be enganged.

[Edited on 3-11-2005 by Tijay]

[Apathy]

If it matters to the couple, then it matters. Other people's opinions don't mean shit and should have no effect on how you feel about the matter.

Originally posted by GS3 Michiko
Maybe some of us are more capable of keeping promises like that than others. :shrug: :rolleyes:


hahahahahahahaha.

Come talk to us in three years and be sure to bring up this topic for reference.

Promise rings are extraordinarly lame and if you think a relationship between 2 teenagers one in the military half a world away and one in college is gonna work out then you have serious issues with reality.

[Wezas]

I gave my girl a ring that I bought for her in Italy. 28k gold, decent sized emerald and small diamond.

::edited to say:: I wouldn't call it a promise ring, but I did wait to make sure she was still with me after 2 weeks gone in Italy before I gave it to her (it was at the beginning of the relationship)

It's probably sitting in a jewelry box gathering dust.

[Edited on 3-11-2005 by Wezas]

[theotherjohn]

Originally posted by GS3 Michiko
Just curious if you guys think they're lame or not.

So, discuss!

I dont think they are lame.

I gave one while I searched for the right engagement ring and made all the plans for the right wedding

[CrystalTears]

It's a piece of jewelry to remind yourself to keep a promise to get engaged one day. How lame is THAT?! :D

Either you're engaged or you're not. It's a superficial way for a guy to make a woman think he's serious and still not be serious at the same time. :jerkit:

[SpunGirl]

Sorry, going to have to disagree with the naysayers. Jake gave me a small white gold band with a tiny diamond and I gave him a white gold band after we'd been together about six months. We knew then that we wanted to get married, but I was admant about NOT having a long engagement (I had it in my head that I wanted to be able to start planning the wedding right when we got engaged). We were moving in together and were in agreement about not getting married before we had both finished school.

The ring-thing wasn't some big official gesture, like, "we r serious couple now!!!!" It was just something nice we wanted to do for each other. Everyone who was important to us knew how we felt aout each other, anyway. I wore the promise ring for less than a year before we got engaged and we were able to start planning the wedding.

And in any case, I don't see taking small steps towards serious commitment and marriage being lame. It obviously worked in this case. On the other hand, I know people that have been "engaged" for five-plus years now and still aren't married, or even planning a time to get married. In that case, that can be just as superficial of a way for a guy to get a woman to stick around, even if he never really intends to marry her.

-K

[Edited on 3-11-2005 by SpunGirl]

[Edaarin]

Why not just get an engagement ring...?

[SpunGirl]

I didn't like the idea of being engaged for 2+ years. Plus, there was a point where I felt comfortable with the seriousness of say, moving in together, and I knew I WANTED to become engaged eventually, but I didn't want to do it RIGHT THEN. There are middle grounds between "dating, engaged, married," and how people express that is up to them.

Also, you should ask people who have been engaged for ages and ages why they don't just get married already. It's the same thing.

-K

[Edited on 3-11-2005 by SpunGirl]

[Edaarin]

That's what I don't understand though, you're promising to promise to do something later on. I know someone's already said something along those lines, but I can't put it any better myself.

As for people that are engaged but never married, it's just because the guy is scared shitless of marriage. Or because he's got something along the side he doesn't want to lose. Either way, good reasons!

[CrystalTears]

Yeah I don't get the promise to promise engagement later. So you're "promised" for 2 years and then engaged for a year or two. I don't see the difference.

Then again I'm not a big jewelry person and the promises and engagement with my boyfriend now has been basically understood. When we can, we're just getting married, no official engagement or anything.

[SpunGirl]

Actually, you usually call him your fiance. So does that mean you're promising to marry each other or not? I'm not trying to snipe at your situation as an individual couple, I'm just trying to illustrate that different couples will do what makes sense to them.

Being like, "oh, u r lame!" because someone is considering or has had a promise ring would be the same as me telling you that it's lame that things are "basically understood" between you two. What does that mean, anyway? Sounds to me as ambiguous as a promise ring, just without the jewelry.

-K

[The Korean]

Originally posted by Wezas
I gave my girl a ring that I bought for her in Italy. 28k gold, decent sized emerald and small diamond.

::edited to say:: I wouldn't call it a promise ring, but I did wait to make sure she was still with me after 2 weeks gone in Italy before I gave it to her (it was at the beginning of the relationship)

It's probably sitting in a jewelry box gathering dust.

[Edited on 3-11-2005 by Wezas]

que? I thought gold could only go to 24k...

[DeV]

If you can afford one on top of the engagement ring later on then you should go for it. Most expressions of romantic love could be considered lame but when has that ever stopped someone. These things should be genuine and from the heart and if thats where you're coming from in wanting to exchange them you shouldn't let anything stop you.

Plus, only you and your boyfriend know the true depths of your love and what your relationship signifies. Go with your heart.

[SpunGirl]

Yay for DeV :heart: :heart:

-K

[Wezas]

Originally posted by The Korean

Originally posted by Wezas
I gave my girl a ring that I bought for her in Italy. 28k gold, decent sized emerald and small diamond.

[Edited on 3-11-2005 by Wezas]

que? I thought gold could only go to 24k...

I thought so too, but the ring said 28k. Maybe I just got gyped in Italy.

Either way it was a decent ring.

And I'm glad I picked it over the ring with a snake head on it (diamond on the top of it's head and two emeralds for eyes). Much classier.

[CrystalTears]

Originally posted by SpunGirl
Actually, you usually call him your fiance. So does that mean you're promising to marry each other or not? I'm not trying to snipe at your situation as an individual couple, I'm just trying to illustrate that different couples will do what makes sense to them.

Being like, "oh, u r lame!" because someone is considering or has had a promise ring would be the same as me telling you that it's lame that things are "basically understood" between you two. What does that mean, anyway? Sounds to me as ambiguous as a promise ring, just without the jewelry.

-K

Yeah I switch around between calling him my boyfriend and my fiance. Whatever I decide to say at the time. Heh.

We live together. We've been together for over 4 years. We've spoken of getting married but just haven't gone through with anything because I had been waiting for my divorce to finalize (yeah we were living in sin all these years) and because we have been debating between just going to the justice of the peace and having a small ceremony. In all seriousness, we're not in any hurry to marry because we don't plan on separating anyway. That's kinda what I mean by understood.

And I was saying that I felt, me personally, that promise rings to be lame. Someone gave me one once and I looked at him like he was insane. "What the fuck is this for?" and he was like "cause you're my girl" and I like all "you're branding me with a ring?" Yeah I was the real romantical type. Heh.

It's not my thing. Someone asked what they thought of them, and I shared MY opinion of promise rings. I think they're open to interpretation. Just get her the ring and say you got it because you love her. I don't see why it needs some sort of emotional explanation is all.

If you're meant to be engaged then get engaged. I don't understand the promise to get engaged to get married. Then again maybe it doesn't make sense with my circumstance either so I get your point. :)

[Wezas]

Originally posted by CrystalTearsand he was like "cause you're my girl"

CT's ex:

http://www.businessweek.com/1997/09/art09/bw0942.jpg

[SpunGirl]

You didn't take the promise ring from Forrest Gump!? You heartless wench.

-K

[Xcalibur]

Originally posted by Tayre
Yes, because my best friend gave one to his girlfriend and everyone knows he's gay except him.

Even his mother.

The end.

Since when we can be our own bestfriend?:no:

[The Korean]

Originally posted by Xcalibur

Originally posted by Tayre
Yes, because my best friend gave one to his girlfriend and everyone knows he's gay except him.

Even his mother.

The end.

Since when can we be our own bestfriend?:no:


Fixed it for you, and Tayre already knows he's gay. Try again.

[Xcalibur]

HUH?????:yes:

[CrystalTears]

Originally posted by Wezas

Originally posted by CrystalTearsand he was like "cause you're my girl"

CT's ex:

http://www.businessweek.com/1997/09/art09/bw0942.jpg

:lol2: Forrest Gump would have been a serious improvement.

[Wezas]

Originally posted by Xcalibur
HUH?????:yes:

Difference is, Tayre admits he's gay.

You still deny you're Canadian.

[The Korean]

Of course he would. He's a millionaire.

[xtc]

Promise rings are lame. They are good for putting off girls that want to get married when you don't.

[Xcalibur]

Originally posted by Wezas

Originally posted by Xcalibur
HUH?????:yes:

Difference is, Tayre admits he's gay.

You still deny you're Canadian.

As 49.6 % of people around here.

That is my political issue and I proudly live with it.

[Xcalibur]

Originally posted by xtc
Promise rings are lame. They are good for putting off girls that want to get married when you don't.

It'S a way for the unsecured to jail their loved one.

[DeV]

Originally posted by Xcalibur

Originally posted by xtc
Promise rings are lame. They are good for putting off girls that want to get married when you don't.

It'S a way for the unsecured to jail their loved one. You could say the same thing about marriage as a whole.
The divorce rate in this country... now, that's lame.

[CrystalTears]

Originally posted by DeV
The divorce rate in this country... now, that's lame.

I totally agree.

[xtc]

Originally posted by Xcalibur

Originally posted by Wezas

Originally posted by Xcalibur
HUH?????:yes:

Difference is, Tayre admits he's gay.

You still deny you're Canadian.

As 49.6 % of people around here.

That is my political issue and I proudly live with it.

49.6 % please. The question was a convoluted piece of shit. Would you like to separate and keep all the benefits of being Canadian. And this was what 15 years ago in the middle of poor economic times. Many people who voted in favour of separation admit that they don't really want to separate. They see it as a tool to get more out of the Federal Government.

More recently your PROVINCE voted for a Federalist for Premier. I think that tells what Quebecors really feel.

[Sean]

What does Canada have to do with promise rings? I'm so lost.

RangerD1 just stated my opinion to the T.

- Arkans

[xtc]

Originally posted by Tijay
What does Canada have to do with promise rings? I'm so lost.

Sorry got side tracked.

[CrystalTears]

xtc so posted in the wrong thread.

[Killer Kitten]

I think promise rings are sweet and sentimental. They're one of the little things couples have between themselves that mean the world to the people involved and nothing to anybody else.

Mike and I had lived together for three years and knew we were getting married 'some day'. The day he surprised me with an engagement ring was one of the happiest days of my life.

I love rings. Every so often he'll see one that he thinks is pretty or that he knows I'd really like and he surprises me with it. Each one is given with a note or a little speech and each stands for some aspect of our love and our life together. That always makes a nice gift into a symbol of something deep and meaningful. I treasure all of them.

I hope I'm still getting them when I'm 90, I'm pretty sure that I'll get misty eyed just as much then as I did when I got my first.

[HarmNone]

Promise rings, and their meaning, are a very personal thing, I think. To some they would seem superfluous. To others, they would represent a level of committment. Their meaning has to be determined by the individuals themselves, as I see it.

[SpunGirl]

I would give X a ring if he promised to never post here again.

-K

[AnticorRifling]

I don't see the point, in promise rings that is.

[Latrinsorm]

Originally posted by Edaarin
That's what I don't understand though, you're promising to promise to do something later on. I know someone's already said something along those lines, but I can't put it any better myself.Logic's greatest failing is that it has practically no relevant applications to human emotion.

For instance, I sent a girl I really, really, really like something that would wither and die within a week. Compared to how much it cost and based solely on its tangible effects, it was the dumbest investment I ever made. However, I did it anyway, and would do it again. Not the greatest example ever, but I feel it illustrates my point.

p.s. congratulations Michiko. :)

[rupa]

Originally posted by Edaarin
That's what I don't understand though, you're promising to promise to do something later on.

Not always... sometimes it's a realistic choice. Perhaps you are too young to think about marriage, perhaps it's just promising to be faithful, but there is no suggestion of forever, or even next year. It can simply be a promise of respect and expressed love and fidelity for as long as those things feel right.

I think to put it bluntly, a promise ring often means "I promise not to cheat on you until we decide we don't care anymore, or until we decide to take it a step further."

I'm sorry to kill the romance factor, but I still think it is a romantic and sweet gesture, and any gift is one worth cherishing if it comes from one you love and it expresses their love for you.

[Edited on 3/11/2005 by rupa]