Jenisi
03-10-2005, 05:18 PM
What the heck is emo? Well my friend, I'm here to tell you everything you need to know. By the time you get through reading this you shall be a stuck up elitist know it all snob just like me! Let's begin:
[How to dress emo] This varies depending on where you live and if you are going for the indie emo look, the nerdy emo look or the dressy emo look. I shall go over all 3 from head to toe.
The indie emo look - (best for girls and guys 16-20)
Dyed-black short hair with bangs short and cut straight across the forehead. Spikey in the back, slightly greasy. Really light blonde hair on girls often works too. Piercings. The more the better. Jewelry. The more the better. Beads, etc. Horn-rim/thick black frames/cat eye glasses (this works for all three types). Tight, fadded shirts with random slogans. It should look like it could have been bought at a thrift store but you didn't (but you really did). It takes a while to master that one. Dark denim jean jackets. Messenger bag covered in patches and pins (that you actually bought at shows). Tight pants, sometimes cuffed once or twice but never more! Black or blue converse shoes.
The nerdy emo look - (best for girls under 17 and guys over 21)
Short hair. Style it messy, but not spikey. Horn-rim/thick black frames/cat eye glasses (this works for all three types). Thin, tight, solid dark color v-neck sweaters. I call them Grandpa sweaters. Band shirts. Messenger bag covered in patches and pins (that you bought at Hot Topic but you tell everyone you got them at shows). Dickies work pants. Blue, black or grey only! Argyle socks. Black converse shoes.
The dressy emo look - (best for girls and guys over 20)
Black or brown hair. Flipped out on girls, mop top on guys. Horn-rim/thick black frames/cat eye glasses (this works for all three types). A silver necklace with a star charm. Scarves. A black or navy blue pea coat. Black messenger bag. No patches, 1 or 2 pins at the most (and only at the bottom of the strap). Heavy dress slacks. Doc Martens or clunky black shoes.
Also, to be emo you have to be really skinny. Why do you think so many of them are vegans. If you are not skinny, you have to lose weight before you can officaly be emo. How many emo girls do you see walking around with a big tank ass? That's what I thought.
[How to act emo] Now that you know how to dress the part, you must know how to act the part. This is, in my opinion, the most important step of all! Follow my directions closly, because we all know nothing is worse than a poser and nothing is better than getting scene points.
Before you worry about how you are going to change how you act in "real life", you must change your "internet life" first. Erase your PunkPrincess182 screen name and change it to something a bit sadder. Such as xsadxstarx.
With your emo screen name in place, you must type emo. Example:
this.is.an.example.of.typing.emo..this.kind.is.mos tly.used.on.websites. &we cant forget about this kind. &thiskindwhichisannoyingasfucktoread. tYpInG LiKe ThIs iS nOt TyPiNg eMo. That's just typing retarded.
Then, put your new typing skills to use by having conversations with other random emo people you've met online. Another good place for meeting other emo people is at different emo bands message boards. Watch out for posers though!
On the message boards, make a name for yourself. Become a "regular". Be sure to tell all the people that list the bands they like that they are not emo enough and that they should go away until they get some real taste in music! If they ask what you like, refuse to tell them. Give them a reason like "you are not worthy enough to step into my music world". Or anything similar.
Now lets change how you act in real life. First, you must go to as many shows as you can! I can not stress that enough. Whether you like the band or not. If you like the band, then you can enjoy it and get scene points! If you don't like the band, you can stand there bitching about how much the band sucks. Then people will come up to you and ask why. You can then talk about how the bands you listen to have so much more talent. Now the fun begins because you can make up band names. However, they should still be very emo so you sound like you know what you are talking about, even though you don't.
[Emo tips] Now that you are emo, I have a few more tips for you: Talk constantly to your non-emo friends about being emo. Each time they ask you what it is, say something different. Make it sound all mysterious and secretive.
Try and share your emo music with as many people as you can. Get really angry when they don't like it. Get really mad when they do like it and try to share it with other people.
Like meat? Well stop. Being a vegitarian or a vegan is one of the most important requirements of being emo.
When eating M&M's, only eat the red ones.
Start a livejournal <http://www.livejournal.com>, deadjournal <http://www.deadjournal.com> or a diaryland <http://www.diaryland.com> diary. Write in it about all the shows you have gone to and how they have changed your life. Lie if necessary. Be sure and put the song you were listening to at the end of each entry and occasionally post some poems. Remember: the fad of anti-fad.
Buy a digital camera and take lots of pictures of yourself. Turn your head as you take them so only your ear or eye or part of your hair shows. Then open them up in photo shop and blur them even more. It makes them look artistic. Taking photos of random objects in black and white also looks artistic. Once you've done that, you can consider yourself an art student
. Expect hardcore and straight edge kids to make fun of you. Tell them "your scene is dead!" and run away like the little wuss you are.
Join a band or make a new one. You'll suck, but at least you can tell people about it and it might help you get that cute emo girl's e-mail address.
[Edited on 3-10-2005 by Jenisi]
[How to dress emo] This varies depending on where you live and if you are going for the indie emo look, the nerdy emo look or the dressy emo look. I shall go over all 3 from head to toe.
The indie emo look - (best for girls and guys 16-20)
Dyed-black short hair with bangs short and cut straight across the forehead. Spikey in the back, slightly greasy. Really light blonde hair on girls often works too. Piercings. The more the better. Jewelry. The more the better. Beads, etc. Horn-rim/thick black frames/cat eye glasses (this works for all three types). Tight, fadded shirts with random slogans. It should look like it could have been bought at a thrift store but you didn't (but you really did). It takes a while to master that one. Dark denim jean jackets. Messenger bag covered in patches and pins (that you actually bought at shows). Tight pants, sometimes cuffed once or twice but never more! Black or blue converse shoes.
The nerdy emo look - (best for girls under 17 and guys over 21)
Short hair. Style it messy, but not spikey. Horn-rim/thick black frames/cat eye glasses (this works for all three types). Thin, tight, solid dark color v-neck sweaters. I call them Grandpa sweaters. Band shirts. Messenger bag covered in patches and pins (that you bought at Hot Topic but you tell everyone you got them at shows). Dickies work pants. Blue, black or grey only! Argyle socks. Black converse shoes.
The dressy emo look - (best for girls and guys over 20)
Black or brown hair. Flipped out on girls, mop top on guys. Horn-rim/thick black frames/cat eye glasses (this works for all three types). A silver necklace with a star charm. Scarves. A black or navy blue pea coat. Black messenger bag. No patches, 1 or 2 pins at the most (and only at the bottom of the strap). Heavy dress slacks. Doc Martens or clunky black shoes.
Also, to be emo you have to be really skinny. Why do you think so many of them are vegans. If you are not skinny, you have to lose weight before you can officaly be emo. How many emo girls do you see walking around with a big tank ass? That's what I thought.
[How to act emo] Now that you know how to dress the part, you must know how to act the part. This is, in my opinion, the most important step of all! Follow my directions closly, because we all know nothing is worse than a poser and nothing is better than getting scene points.
Before you worry about how you are going to change how you act in "real life", you must change your "internet life" first. Erase your PunkPrincess182 screen name and change it to something a bit sadder. Such as xsadxstarx.
With your emo screen name in place, you must type emo. Example:
this.is.an.example.of.typing.emo..this.kind.is.mos tly.used.on.websites. &we cant forget about this kind. &thiskindwhichisannoyingasfucktoread. tYpInG LiKe ThIs iS nOt TyPiNg eMo. That's just typing retarded.
Then, put your new typing skills to use by having conversations with other random emo people you've met online. Another good place for meeting other emo people is at different emo bands message boards. Watch out for posers though!
On the message boards, make a name for yourself. Become a "regular". Be sure to tell all the people that list the bands they like that they are not emo enough and that they should go away until they get some real taste in music! If they ask what you like, refuse to tell them. Give them a reason like "you are not worthy enough to step into my music world". Or anything similar.
Now lets change how you act in real life. First, you must go to as many shows as you can! I can not stress that enough. Whether you like the band or not. If you like the band, then you can enjoy it and get scene points! If you don't like the band, you can stand there bitching about how much the band sucks. Then people will come up to you and ask why. You can then talk about how the bands you listen to have so much more talent. Now the fun begins because you can make up band names. However, they should still be very emo so you sound like you know what you are talking about, even though you don't.
[Emo tips] Now that you are emo, I have a few more tips for you: Talk constantly to your non-emo friends about being emo. Each time they ask you what it is, say something different. Make it sound all mysterious and secretive.
Try and share your emo music with as many people as you can. Get really angry when they don't like it. Get really mad when they do like it and try to share it with other people.
Like meat? Well stop. Being a vegitarian or a vegan is one of the most important requirements of being emo.
When eating M&M's, only eat the red ones.
Start a livejournal <http://www.livejournal.com>, deadjournal <http://www.deadjournal.com> or a diaryland <http://www.diaryland.com> diary. Write in it about all the shows you have gone to and how they have changed your life. Lie if necessary. Be sure and put the song you were listening to at the end of each entry and occasionally post some poems. Remember: the fad of anti-fad.
Buy a digital camera and take lots of pictures of yourself. Turn your head as you take them so only your ear or eye or part of your hair shows. Then open them up in photo shop and blur them even more. It makes them look artistic. Taking photos of random objects in black and white also looks artistic. Once you've done that, you can consider yourself an art student
. Expect hardcore and straight edge kids to make fun of you. Tell them "your scene is dead!" and run away like the little wuss you are.
Join a band or make a new one. You'll suck, but at least you can tell people about it and it might help you get that cute emo girl's e-mail address.
[Edited on 3-10-2005 by Jenisi]