View Full Version : Why are Vampires Beef Wellington?
Okay, I was so bored this afternoon that I forced myself to watch (most) of Underworld and I came to realize one thing, "All vampires are overly dramatic beef wellington hissing drama queens".
Not just in this movie, but I was once suckered into seeing Interview with the Vampire and, worse, Queen of the Damned. Same phenominon. Overly dramatic, sorry gothmos, that just annoy the piss out of me.
This can't be more visible than any Vampire: The Masquerade computer game. I played through the one just released and guess what? Fucking more overly dramatic, "Hey let's wear leather body suit" gothmos. Very beef wellington. Why can't anyone make vampires normal? Until they are normal, I am putting them next to emos. FUCK VAMPIRES. Discuss
- Arkans
/end rant
Warriorbird
03-07-2005, 03:28 PM
Eh. Blade's not Beef Wellington. Neither was Deacon Frost.
Blade wasn't beef wellington, but the Vampires he was fighting sure as fuck were. Maybe he's the exception. BLADE, SLAYER OF THE GOTHMO VAMPIRES. That'd be an awesone fourth installment.
- Arkans
Warriorbird
03-07-2005, 03:33 PM
I get your point though, Arkans. I run into a lot of corny, often overweight, Beef Wellington types playing Vampire LARP. I generally do horrible things to their characters because lets face it.... if you're a vampire, your life is really awesome. You're strong, have special powers, and are probably going to live forever. Vampire hunters are mostly wusses compared to you. Your life does not suck. Your life is not filled with ennui. It's really pretty great, honestly.
Plus, having my character mock, politically defeat, or kill their corny emo selves is a lot of fun.
Warriorbird
03-07-2005, 03:36 PM
I think similar corny emo issues afflict a lot of people trying to roleplay in online games too.
I couldn't agree more. I never understood why Vampires had to be portrayed as emo little shits. I am for fuck's sake, you have it all. You can't see the sun? BOO FUCKING HOO, the day is meant for sleeping anyway. Frankly, everytime I play a Vampire he is never emo and all the beef wellington gothmos are all like "OMFG THATS NOT HOW A VAMPIRE SHOULD ACT!!" *GOES TO BATHROOM TO SLICE WRISTS THE WRONG WAY*. Christ, sometimes I had Hollywood and Anne Rice.
- Arkans
Latrinsorm
03-07-2005, 03:37 PM
Angel is far from beef wellington, unless by beef wellington you mean beefcake. :love:
More of a an over dramatic gothmo if anything.
- Arkans
Warriorbird
03-07-2005, 03:39 PM
I dunno. His curse was Beef Wellington. He should've been bagging hot chicks constantly.
Oh yeah, how the fuck is immortality, inifinate power, and sleeping all day a fucking curse? Vampires need to stop whining immediately.
- Arkans
Divinity
03-07-2005, 03:42 PM
:wtf2: Beef wellington, emo vamps? Hahaha, ok, I can see where you're coming from.
Although, if you've lived an eternity and basically done it all, you'd get bored. I think that is where the drama comes in. They have to create drama to do something with themselves.
I didn't think Underworld was overly dramatic though.
Warriorbird
03-07-2005, 03:42 PM
He was cursed so he'd be good and he could never have a moment of "pure happiness" without turning evil. Lame.
[Edited on 3-7-2005 by Warriorbird]
It wasn't overly dramatic? You've got to be kidding. Everyone there was a goth emo bastard. Plus, the second your name is "Craven", you deserve to get the shit kicked out of you and your wallet stolen.
Regardless, there is pleanty of shit to do. Hell, if anything, try and take over the world. Do an "EXTREME GTA KILLING SPREE", I don't care. Just less drama!
- Arkans
Divinity
03-07-2005, 03:48 PM
LOL depends on the "type" of vampire you're in to. Lots of different versions, some more retarded than others.
Versions? You've got to be kidding. *ALL* of them, except Blade, are fucking Emo. Hell, even Blade is emo to a point (whaaa I'm a daywalker)
- Arkans
Warriorbird
03-07-2005, 03:55 PM
I think they're emo so that chicks will dig them. (Or because they think chicks will)
Problem is, emo guys only attract emo chicks. Which is good, because cross breeding would suck. It's like breeding a mutt with a boxer. What a waste of a good pregnancy.
- Arkans
Divinity
03-07-2005, 04:01 PM
Eh, I've known plenty of sane chicks attracted to emo guys because it makes them feel needed. Doesn't last long though.
As for versions, well yeah.. I mean you have Ann Rice and Christopher Pike and yadda yadda. Different types. Eh, who knows. :shrug:
All might as well be same. If they are not goth, then they are emo, if not emo then goth.. Sometimes they are both. Kill them all.
- Arkans
Divinity
03-07-2005, 04:06 PM
I say you have one of them turn you into a vampire and you can take over the vamp nation. Beat them into submission and let them know what's up.
You'll probably start another holocaust though..
You make it sound like that'd be a bad thing :wtf:
- Arkans
Divinity
03-07-2005, 04:08 PM
Take it as you will. I'll just watch from over here. :popcorn2:
Slingblade
03-07-2005, 04:10 PM
The first problem was that you watched the movies (Interview and Queen of the Damned) instead of reading the book.
The books are a million times better than the movies.
Don't get me wrong, I think most goths and emos are retards and need to be kicked in the face with a Swiss Army Shoe, but the Vampire Chronicles books (there's a ton of them, not just those two) are really kickass books. They tend to drag on sometimes, taking pages to describe some unimportant pointless thing (not as bad as Tolkein does in the LOTR books, but along those same lines), but overall they're some of the best books I've ever read.
Louis (the guy Brad Pitt played) is the big wuss of the vampire crew in that series and is always depressed that he has to kill people to survive and all that crap, and the Queen of the Damned movie skipped and changed a lot of stuff that was in the book.
Don't let a couple movies made by someone else skew your judgement on Anne Rice's work though. The books are always way better than the movies, and this is no exception.
On a slightly unrelated note, I just finished reading Memnoch the Devil (another Anne Rice vampire chronicles book), and I think the explanation of God and the Devil and Jesus and Heaven and Hell and all that holy stuff makes a hell of a lot more sense than the crap they go on about today in churches and the bible and Christianity in general. That book is worth reading just for that, even if you have no interest at all in anything else she writes.
Unfortunately, Slingblade, I read the books. I somehow read through Interview of the Vampire. I had to stop halfway through Vampire Lestat (because it got WAY too emo), Queen of the Damned, and Armand.. I had to stop Armand because it got WAAAAY to homoerotic for my taste. Anne Rice is VERY goth/emo. Thanks, but no thanks. I want my vampires normal.
- Arkans
Slingblade
03-07-2005, 04:19 PM
Yeah I never understood her deal with throwing gay pr0n in her books.
Atlanteax
03-07-2005, 04:30 PM
Originally posted by Divinity
Eh, I've known plenty of sane chicks attracted to emo guys because it makes them feel needed. Doesn't last long though.
Yea, I can see how after awhile said sane chick would tire of an emo male out-dramatizing her.
At first, could be interesting... and then after awhile, she realizes he is just simply a wuss. :smug:
.
As for the emo vampire trend... I'd say that it's catering to the audience ... as likely most of those into vampire material are emo goths. who as Arkans suggested are overly dramatic about lonliness, how life is unfair, etc...
It would seem logical for the producers (of such movies and books) to "evolve" the classical vampire into the "modern" emo vampire.
.
Meanwhile, I agree, an emo vampire does not really seem like the logical conclusion, as I'd expect them to become cold, hard, and cruel when dealing with the immortality issue and the need for blood. :shrug:
I'd expect them to be "hard core killaz" too. Like.. They'd for sure be more like the Sabbat in Vampire. They were just evil. Not so emo.
- Arkans
I'd expect them to be "hard core killaz" too. Like.. They'd for sure be more like the Sabbat in Vampire. They were just evil. Not so emo.
- Arkans
Skeeter
03-07-2005, 04:34 PM
Her deal with the devil ran out. her books have gotten progressivly worse with each new story. The new stories are just 2 guys banging endlessly, or at least that was the impression I got from the dust jacket. I stopped reading her tripe after Pandora
Warriorbird
03-07-2005, 04:41 PM
I liked Interview, Lestat, and to a degree Memnoch. Queen of the Damned was incredibly terrible, even in book form.
Divinity
03-07-2005, 04:43 PM
...I kinda liked that movie. The soundtrack was the best though.
Slingblade
03-07-2005, 04:48 PM
I still think The Lost Boys is one of the best vampire movies made. Though it's been a long ass time since I've seen it. No goth/emo vampires there. Just a bunch of 80's hair band type vampires. And grandpa.
"You have TV Guide but you don't have a TV?"
"If you get TV Guide, you don't need a TV!"
[Edited on 3-7-2005 by Slingblade]
Holy shit, Slingblade is COMPLETELY correct.
- Arkans
Latrinsorm
03-07-2005, 06:29 PM
Originally posted by Arkans
Oh yeah, how the fuck is immortality, inifinate power, and sleeping all day a fucking curse? Vampires need to stop whining immediately.No, his curse was if he was ever perfectly happy (which could only really happen if he sexx0rd Buffy or took drugs) he would turn evil (Angelus). And because he had a conscience (unlike some [rhymes with Barkans] people) he was like "No evil plz!!" but that equaled to "No sex w/ Buffy plz!!!" hence the brooding. He did score pretty regularly for a guy who probably shouldn't have had functioning equipment.
In short, Buffy = drugs, Arkans = suck, Mint = I miss j00, because you GOT IT.
Tsa`ah
03-07-2005, 06:57 PM
Originally posted by Latrinsorm
Angel is far from beef wellington, unless by beef wellington you mean beefcake. :love:
The man had two expressions ... brooding and boring. The only time he did any acting was as Angelus.
Spike was a Vampire, with or without a soul, not some brooding wuss bag.
[Edited on 3-7-2005 by Tsa`ah]
Latrinsorm
03-07-2005, 07:02 PM
David Boreanaz has never impressed me as an astoundingly good actor (then again, I can't think of anyone off-hand who has).
Angel still rocks, for the same reason Vash rocks.
Warriorbird
03-07-2005, 07:06 PM
Angel < Vash.
Toxicvixen
03-07-2005, 08:36 PM
The bite chicks (Bite being a show in Vegas) were far from being emo. Unless emo is showing your tits and shaking your ass. Good times were had by all.
Jonty
03-07-2005, 08:57 PM
he was like "No evil plz!!" but that equaled to "No sex w/ Buffy plz!!!"
Then he's a dumb ass.
Edaarin
03-07-2005, 09:04 PM
Okay, I have to ask.
WTF is up with this beef wellington shit?
Latrinsorm
03-07-2005, 09:05 PM
IT CERTAINLY ISN'T A EUPHEMISM FOR GAY!! HA HA!!
Tsa`ah
03-07-2005, 09:13 PM
Originally posted by Edaarin
Okay, I have to ask.
WTF is up with this beef wellington shit?
Lack of imagination.
Artha
03-07-2005, 09:16 PM
I don't understand this "emo goth" term.
They're two different groups, not one.
[Edited on 3-8-2005 by Artha]
Divinity
03-07-2005, 10:14 PM
Originally posted by Latrinsorm
Originally posted by Arkans
Oh yeah, how the fuck is immortality, inifinate power, and sleeping all day a fucking curse? Vampires need to stop whining immediately.No, his curse was if he was ever perfectly happy (which could only really happen if he sexx0rd Buffy or took drugs) he would turn evil (Angelus). And because he had a conscience (unlike some [rhymes with Barkans] people) he was like "No evil plz!!" but that equaled to "No sex w/ Buffy plz!!!" hence the brooding. He did score pretty regularly for a guy who probably shouldn't have had functioning equipment.
In short, Buffy = drugs, Arkans = suck, Mint = I miss j00, because you GOT IT.
He did have sex with Buffy and he turned all evil vamp. then there was this one episode where he was human for a day and everything was all la la perfecto.. but.. he turned back to a vamp.
I have to say though, if I was a modern day vamp who's been around for awhile.. I'd lay low.
You know, the whole government wanting to experiment on me and all that stuff wouldn't be fun. Doesn't mean I couldn't be a "hard-core cold killer," I would just be more cautious.
Goths and emos are two different groups, but both are in the same category of being "sub-human" and need to find themselves.
- Arkans
Slingblade
03-08-2005, 12:01 AM
Originally posted by Latrinsorm
Angel is far from beef wellington, unless by beef wellington you mean beefcake. :love:
There's only one true Beefcake, and his name is Brutus.
What exactly does: beef wellington mean? Pardon me for being a bit out of the loop.
Slingblade
03-08-2005, 05:20 PM
Originally posted by ieva
What exactly does: beef wellington mean? Pardon me for being a bit out of the loop.
http://forum.gsplayers.com/viewthread.php?tid=13127
I think you can pretty much blame Anne Rice for what I think you may mean... but please do clarify.
Do you mean vampires being homosexual? Or having the air of aristocracy or royalty? Neatly dressed and well-kempt? Self-pitying martyrs?
Nosferatu was none of the above, at least in the two movies he was in.
The old Dracula was like a despotic ruler of a wealthy nation seducing women at every turn. The remake with Gary Oldman pretty much was the same.
Lost Boys were probably closest to what you are looking for in a vampire.
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