A recent study.....

[Scott]

Recently scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, couldn't think, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.

[Solkern]

yup that pretty much sums it up

[Vesi]

Originally posted by Gemstone101
Recently scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, couldn't think, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.

<peers at Gemstone101> You left off they get man boobs.

Vesi

[Back]

This little joke is actually true. And Vesi is right, men get man boobs from too much beer.

But the traces are miniscule. Otherwise I'd look like Pamela Sue Anderson by now.

[Souzy]

That's wrong Sintik

[Solkern]

but funny

[Scott]

I have to keep myself entertained since nobody else is!Everyone is posting in that stupid song chain thing.....

[Solkern]

LOL

[Souzy]

LOL...it keeps you busy. But it is funny. How do we refuse to apologize? Girls do apologize, it's men who are hard headed. You'll drive around lost for days without asking someone for directions.

[Neildo]

Heh, thank goodness for Lalana's response. It looked like people weren't getting it.

This reminds me of an e-mail about a date rape drug I was received:

Date Rape Drug

San Diego Police warn all clubbers, party-goers and unsuspecting pub regulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. A new date rape drug on the market called "beer" is used by many females to target unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form and is now available almost anywhere.

"Beer" is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them. Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of "beer" and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach.

After several "beers" men will often succumb to desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking "beer" men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that something bad occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." Apparently, men are much more susceptible to this scam after "beer" is administered and sex is offered by the predatory female.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. However, if you fall victim to this insidious "beer" and the predatory women administering it, there are male support groups with venues in every town where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like-minded guys.

For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the yellow pages.

[Solkern]

While women...even WITh directions still get lost

[Souzy]

So most of us are clueless when it comes to directions. I can't argue with that, well because, I am clueless when it comes to directions, but I STOP to ask for directions :P

[Solkern]

half the time a man acts like hes lost..he does it just to get the female pissed, cause they look sooo cute when they mad..and marissa just slapped me for typing that in haha

[Souzy]

You prolly deserved it, I hope she pounces on you like a tiger! Hehe.

[Solkern]

that'll be later tonight ;)

[Kurili]

I will gladly agree to a cross-country road-race, with anyone who thinks all women get lost.

Ladies, smart money's on me :-)


Acolyte Kurili, who reads maps exceedingly well

[Kurili]

And the beer jokes were hilarious. One of those too true for comfort but funny as hell things.

Acolyte Kurili, amused

[HarmNone]

Ahem. What the article failed to mention is that men only use one half of their brain. The other half just sits over there. If they used the other half of their brain, like women do, all those negative side effects would not occur. :D

HarmNone waxes scientific

[Scott]

Yet even when men only use half their brain, they are still a lot smarter then women.....

[HarmNone]

All I need is a map to prevent me from getting lost. A man seems to have no hope at all. Who is smarter here?

HarmNone knows

[Scott]

There is no way you are a good driver HarmNone. Women are horrible drivers to begin with, but OLD women drivers? That speaks "GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

Sintik knows he's a better driver then HarmNone

[HarmNone]

Heh. I can out-drive you, out-think you, out-talk you and still have time to make dinner and do the budget, snookums. :D

HarmNone

[DCSL]

Oo, this one is going to get heated.

[Scott]

Whatever you say Grandma

[DCSL]

I'd like to say that my boyfriend is a wussy driver. I feel bad sometimes for the people behind us when he's driving on the highway. Speed limit? 65. His speed? 50. And he'll be going in the PASSING LANE.

Not the better, more considerate driver.

[Scott]

Originally posted by DCSL
I'd like to say that my boyfriend is a wussy driver. I feel bad sometimes for the people behind us when he's driving on the highway. Speed limit? 65. His speed? 50. And he'll be going in the PASSING LANE.

Not the better, more considerate driver.

I don't mind people who drive slow on the highway.... However my biggest pet peeve is slow drivers in the left lane. I get like road rage when they do that. I'll beep my horn, Flash my lights, give the finger, or whatever it takes to get their slow ass out of the left lane. That is the most annoying thing possible, especially when you are on a trip. They should get a ticket for it....

[Kurili]

Just think of the Freightliner on your back bumper, Sintik...and consider ME driving it.

::laughs maniacally::


Acolyte Kurili, who has driven a good bit

[Solkern]

Theres only ONE thing worse then a slow driver..a women driver...<ducks and takes cover>

[Betheny]

Originally posted by Solkern
Theres only ONE thing worse then a slow driver..a women driver...<ducks and takes cover>

Prepare Tomahawk missiles.

Targeting SOLKERN nuts.

Three, two, one....

Cleared the gene pool, sir.

At ease, gentlemen.

[Bestatte]

On getting lost: Never. I'll occasionally get stuck going in the wrong direction if I'm new to the area and turn onto a one-way street. But I always know that I'm going in the wrong direction and find my way within a minute or two. I usually piss off my family because they always insist it's "that way!" and I tell them no, it's over "there" and after an hour of driving around in circles, they realize they should've just took the turn I told them to take in the first place.

Re: driving quality: I drive an SUV that sits on an F150 chassis and is surrounded by solid steel construction. I'm a speed demon. I have an attitude. And...I'm insured. Just get the fuck out of my way and no one will get hurt, got it?

Re: Males vs. Females:

1) Males are not physically designed to handle pain. That's why women are the ones who give birth.

2) Men have two heads, which might make them think they're smarter. Problem is, they have just around the same amount of blood as women do, so they have to share the blood with the two heads. Therefore, they can only think rationally with one head at a time.

3) "Cute" men don't get laid as often as "cute" women. They get relegated to the "best buddies" and "just friends" category for most of their lives.

4) Drunk men drool more than drunk women do.

5) Cucumbers remain hard for days. Men...heh.

That is all.

[Solkern]

Originally posted by Maimara

Originally posted by Solkern
Theres only ONE thing worse then a slow driver..a women driver...<ducks and takes cover>

Prepare Tomahawk missiles.

Targeting SOLKERN nuts.

Three, two, one....

Cleared the gene pool, sir.

At ease, gentlemen.

That was one badass reply ;)
one thing we can always get from our women, Smartass replies, GOOD smart ass replies

[Solkern]

First of all, i resent that fact about men and two heads, see we only think with our upper head 20% of the time!
we usually let the lower head make most of the dicision making
And about Drinking, Please refer to my Song i wrote posted in the music tag folder. it pretty much sums up Colorado women ty

now to get serious

Did you know women are the cause and fault for more accidents in the US then men? why? don't get me wrong, mens wrecks are more serious, But PASSIVE drivers, which most women are, are the ones that cause wrecks, they hesitate, unsure when put under pressure, while men, are quicker to react in cars.
thats why men rule the world!

[Solkern]

Not me! i'm always a good driver...See theres people that CAN drive, and theres people that know HOW to drive, See when your int he car with me, expect to be taking shoulders, lane switching like theres no tomorrow, you may think i'm a bad driver, but evryone who rides with me, thinks i'm a safe driver, WHY??? it's cause ir ead the road so well. ;)

[Faellyn]

I hate to pick on my own gender, but if I get directions from a guy I can follow them no problem

"turn left out of the driveway and go up 2 blocks to main street, turn left, go three blocks, turn right onto 25th st S and it's halfway up the block on the left"

If it's a girl giving me directions, I'm in trouble

" go back out on this street and turn like you're going to McDonalds, when you get past The big white church with the funny sign make your next right and then go until you barely see the sign for Arby's, you'll want to turn right there, before the tire and muffler place, and then it will be right on the left by the music store, what's it called, ummm something CD's I think."

[GSLeloo]

Ok, I admit that I don't apologize. I actually basically refuse to, I want the guy to get on his knees and beg for my forgiveness... of course some guys won't do that so I have to fold and apologize. But I do apologize!

And I've so far never been lost, I drove to a college that I had never been to before and didn't get lost getting there or get lost driving around the campus.

In my family, my mother drives fast and agressive, my father is the pussy pancake who drives like a turtle doing like 20 in a 40 zone... What else was listed... women are naturally a bit fatter than men, but we're supposed to be so what's the excuse of all the guys fatter than us. Hmm?

[Camri]

I could get lost crossing the street with a map.

I have absolutley no sense of direction. I can't tell you if my house faces south, or west.

If you tell me to go 2 blocks and turn left, I'm ok. But if you say go 2 blocks and turn south, I'll be asking directions again 2 blocks down.

Where I live there are a lot of dumb farmers that use land marks for directions. "Go 1/4 of a mile south, and turn west at the old Nichols place" Ummm...ok.

I really need to live someplace that at least has street signs.