Thread for things that made you Facepalm today

[drauz]

https://i.imgur.com/aRGcth8.jpg

[Tisket]

People who scold strangers like they have some kind of moral high ground should be slapped around. Those assholes deserve a beat down followed by hearty laughter and pointing.

[Wrathbringer]

Everything that ordim posts.

[Tisket]

Who is ordim?

[Wrathbringer]

Who is ordim?

Exactly.

[AnOrdim]

Everything that ordim posts.


https://youtu.be/SPk2btsc05s

[Velfi]

TOFU IS A ZERO SUM GAME, BITCHES.

[drauz]

Waiting in line for the store where you don't have to wait in line.

https://i.imgur.com/oH3SEg7.jpg

[drauz]

https://media.giphy.com/media/42Jjg40vIFgeEPjJQL/giphy.gif

[Velfi]

TOFU IS A ZERO SUM GAME, BITCHES.

.

[Tisket]

https://media.giphy.com/media/42Jjg40vIFgeEPjJQL/giphy.gif

My passive aggressive nature would take over and one of both of us would die of old age before I moved my car.

[Velfi]

My passive aggressive nature would take over and one of both of us would die of old age before I moved my car.

One day while riding my bike with my dog, we were coming up to a 4 way crossing. For this crossing, only 2 of the streets had a stop sign, in the direction that I was going. I saw a car coming along the primary street (with no stop sign), so I slowed down a good distance from the curb (2 houses or so I believe) to show that I wasn't trying to cross in front of the car (when I have my dog with me and tied to my arm I can never be 100% sure what she's going to do/will do what I'm trying to do, so we just wait on basically all cars that are remotely close). Ok.

The car slows down approaching the intersection and I'm thinking it's one of these people that really wants to play the polite game, but as stated, I don't go for that when Ginger is with me, so I just take my feet all the way off the pedals, lean the bike over to one side and turn the front wheel. Sitting there for a second, the car comes to a stop just before going out into the intersection, basically blocking the end of the sidewalk that we're on. I sit there for a few seconds as I'm noticing the passenger window down (closest to me) and then a girl driving who is looking at me kinda funny. I yell to her to go ahead, we don't go in front of cars. She is looking around and mostly straight ahead at this point, and I reiterate that we are not going to move until she goes. She doesn't really respond, and continues to just sit there, blocking the sidewalk completely stopped.

At this point I've firmly decided upon your course of action, and I pull out my phone and start checking my emails and a couple websites. She's still not moving, or really saying anything, and I'm thinking what the fuck is going on? I could go to the other side of the street and try to cross there, but all the lady has to do is pull forward in her car and I'm seriously not discounting anything at this point since she said nothing to me letting her know we weren't gonna go in front. After maybe another minute or two of this, I'm feeling really stubborn and finally another lady that lived a couple houses down from the intersection comes walking towards the intersection and asking me what's going on. I said I have no idea, I wasn't gonna cross in front of this lady and she's not moving and I have no idea what's going on.

The new lady walks up to the car and I guess says something to the driver, gets her attention, and she ends up slowly turning left at the intersection and driving off. The lady said that the driver was/sounded really drunk, and we talked about that for a sec and agreed it was a bit disturbing and then she went back towards her house and Ginger and I continued our ride. At the end of the ride, we were making our way towards the house and feeling curious I took a route that went by the end of the street the lady had turned on. I saw a cop car, lights going, with a similar looking vehicle pulled over so I suppose she was dealt with.

There wasn't really any point to this, but your comment reminded me of it and I felt like sharing a practical application of the mindset.

[drauz]

https://i.imgur.com/WEheAl6.png

[Gelston]

https://i.imgur.com/WEheAl6.png

I have a feeling they were originally trying to think of things starting with the letters of SMART, but then just said fuck it.

[Methais]

I have a feeling they were originally trying to think of things starting with the letters of SMART, but then just said fuck it.

https://i.imgflip.com/2cc5ab.jpg

[Tisket]

One day while riding my bike with my dog, we were coming up to a 4 way crossing. For this crossing, only 2 of the streets had a stop sign, in the direction that I was going. I saw a car coming along the primary street (with no stop sign), so I slowed down a good distance from the curb (2 houses or so I believe) to show that I wasn't trying to cross in front of the car (when I have my dog with me and tied to my arm I can never be 100% sure what she's going to do/will do what I'm trying to do, so we just wait on basically all cars that are remotely close). Ok.

The car slows down approaching the intersection and I'm thinking it's one of these people that really wants to play the polite game, but as stated, I don't go for that when Ginger is with me, so I just take my feet all the way off the pedals, lean the bike over to one side and turn the front wheel. Sitting there for a second, the car comes to a stop just before going out into the intersection, basically blocking the end of the sidewalk that we're on. I sit there for a few seconds as I'm noticing the passenger window down (closest to me) and then a girl driving who is looking at me kinda funny. I yell to her to go ahead, we don't go in front of cars. She is looking around and mostly straight ahead at this point, and I reiterate that we are not going to move until she goes. She doesn't really respond, and continues to just sit there, blocking the sidewalk completely stopped.

At this point I've firmly decided upon your course of action, and I pull out my phone and start checking my emails and a couple websites. She's still not moving, or really saying anything, and I'm thinking what the fuck is going on? I could go to the other side of the street and try to cross there, but all the lady has to do is pull forward in her car and I'm seriously not discounting anything at this point since she said nothing to me letting her know we weren't gonna go in front. After maybe another minute or two of this, I'm feeling really stubborn and finally another lady that lived a couple houses down from the intersection comes walking towards the intersection and asking me what's going on. I said I have no idea, I wasn't gonna cross in front of this lady and she's not moving and I have no idea what's going on.

The new lady walks up to the car and I guess says something to the driver, gets her attention, and she ends up slowly turning left at the intersection and driving off. The lady said that the driver was/sounded really drunk, and we talked about that for a sec and agreed it was a bit disturbing and then she went back towards her house and Ginger and I continued our ride. At the end of the ride, we were making our way towards the house and feeling curious I took a route that went by the end of the street the lady had turned on. I saw a cop car, lights going, with a similar looking vehicle pulled over so I suppose she was dealt with.

There wasn't really any point to this, but your comment reminded me of it and I felt like sharing a practical application of the mindset.

lol Taernath

The people in cars who try to out-polite me at a four way stop sign just make me even more determined to make them go first.

lol

[MotleyCrew]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byHMEtt0n5s

[drauz]

https://i.imgur.com/3K91CH9.jpg

[Methais]

https://i.imgur.com/3K91CH9.jpg

This is fake. cwolff would never try to change his own oil.

[Methais]

https://youtu.be/SPk2btsc05s

This tune was surprisingly catchy. Everyone should listen to it immediately.

[Wrathbringer]

Matthew, I am a fucking retard.

fixed

[RichardCranium]

Lol @ Matthew.

[Methais]

Matthew, I have actually developed some level of respect for you, your chosen profession is admirable. But, you need to really show some more class and be more careful, you teach children and I’m sure many of them look up to you. Due to Android’s antics it is possible that a few of your pupils will stumble upon this site. And before you say “you’re trolling”, I’m not, I’m seriously just trying to look out for your well being. Fortuna tibi faveat.

My name is Frederick Alawishes Polawaski, and you will address me as such.

Nerd.

Also, in b4 rekt.

What took you so long to make a new account this time?

[RichardCranium]

My name is Frederick Alawishes Polawaski, and you will address me as such.

Nerd.

Also, in b4 rekt.

What took you so long to make a new account this time?

He's actually created a few. I think he intends to spread them out over time but he can't stay out of the politics folder.

[drauz]

https://i.imgur.com/r4W08R7.png?1

[Some Rogue]

https://i.imgur.com/r4W08R7.png?1
Faaaaaake

[Methais]

https://www.facebook.com/terrencekwilliams/videos/868006330027092/

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

Old quote, but still a great one and still very accurate.

“The average reporter we talk to is 27 years old, and their only reporting experience consists of being around political campaigns. That’s a sea change. They literally know nothing.”

[Methais]

https://i.imgur.com/2k558oF.jpg

And this guy:

https://www.facebook.com/NowThisNews/videos/2024440337646080/?hc_ref=ARRFxOq6LClHTOsUXfjUgJ5q-xUtXPrhn-S82aE3SrukmNoLyDhIDVI90VnIz3u-JZ0

[drauz]

https://media.giphy.com/media/NlWY6DZwgZ5cMPCl7o/giphy.gif

[drauz]

https://i.imgur.com/wWG0T5W.jpg

[Astray]

Fucking kill me.

[Methais]

I wonder how many of the people donating cry about income inequality and the rich paying their fair share and all that bullshit all day long.

I'd guess most.

[Methais]

https://scontent.fbtr1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/37304191_2162954437255793_673300844510183424_n.jpg ?_nc_cat=0&oh=8bd19207dfded0b46778460f569ca7a4&oe=5BE24C62

[Methais]

Someone explain plz


https://www.facebook.com/hiphopearlynews/videos/275468859872634/?hc_ref=ARTbWjd0MlXflwbIdiIc0mBu11y3vWZV6T6I9ONQFG iANlkxLmAxEZRWgx7HbG1FiMY

[Astray]

I don't know Methais but someone get that girl/guy/thing a fucking burger.

[Methais]

I don't know Methais but someone get that girl/guy/thing a fucking burger.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/4t1CbUU24Sk/hqdefault.jpg

[Methais]

https://www.facebook.com/BarcroftTV/videos/2022652464715438/?hc_ref=ARRTqx7zDVlnSpWwQs-_8C98-JvZcBDQl86HaJYcMjZrRTjYe4K0diZV5vq_lBUtAz4

https://www.facebook.com/BarcroftTV/videos/2022652464715438/?hc_ref=ARRTqx7zDVlnSpWwQs-_8C98-JvZcBDQl86HaJYcMjZrRTjYe4K0diZV5vq_lBUtAz4

I'm not sure what's worse, her or the fact that there's a market for this.

I wonder who she'll try to sue when she gets diabetes in like 10 minutes.

[drauz]

https://munchies.vice.com/en_us/article/ype3qx/we-should-consider-eating-our-own-poop-for-a-better-future

I guess this is the next logical step from:

https://media.giphy.com/media/3oz8xSSfPn6zRSjJPa/giphy.gif

[drauz]

https://www.thecollegefix.com/post/47278/


A “fist bump” and a selfie may have ended Marcus Knight’s educational career right as it started.

The student, who has autism, cerebral palsy and a shunt to relieve fluid pressure on his brain, was not allowed to defend himself against allegations in two Title IX investigations this past fall, his mother told The College Fix.

Aurora Knight has raised more than half of the money to cover legal fees through a GoFundMe campaign as she challenges the sexual-misconduct findings on her son’s record.

Though Saddleback College lifted Marcus’s suspension a day before a hearing last month, it has thus far refused to remove the findings from his record, Aurora wrote in an update to the campaign Wednesday.

Her son (below) has limited expressive language capabilities and cannot negotiate social situations as easily as others, she told The College Fix.

[Gelston]

That is some fucked up shit right there.

[Methais]

https://www.thecollegefix.com/post/47278/

I don't get it. What's supposed to be so bad about a fist bump and a selfie that it would ruin someone's career?

[Gelston]

I don't get it. What's supposed to be so bad about a fist bump and a selfie that it would ruin someone's career?

READ THE ARTICLE

[Methais]

READ THE ARTICLE

DON'T TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE!!!

That chick is a stupid cunt and needs to have her vagina cemented shut to make sure she never reproduces.

[Methais]

https://youtu.be/Elvc32AQjvM

They really need to just skip to the drink a gallon of bleach challenge.

[Gelston]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuqrrR_CzdI

[Methais]

https://scontent.fbtr1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/41391911_2218534275031142_6585681347338043392_n.jp g?_nc_cat=0&oh=a6b8f580fa7e141950cd12549950ec51&oe=5C257258

[Some Rogue]

https://scontent.fbtr1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/41391911_2218534275031142_6585681347338043392_n.jp g?_nc_cat=0&oh=a6b8f580fa7e141950cd12549950ec51&oe=5C257258

Is this like the share button on Pornhub?

No one wants to see your fap material.

[Methais]

Is this like the share button on Pornhub?

No one wants to see your fap material.

Don’t act like you’re not fapping to it right now.

[Some Rogue]

Don’t act like you’re not fapping to it right now.

That's beside the point. No one want to know about it.

[Methais]

That's beside the point. No one want to know about it.

But now we know about it.

[Methais]

https://i.imgur.com/zyxIB8F.png

Unless you never go out in public or only hang out with blind people, how does one become fat-incognito?

Unless they're just talking about MySpace angle selfies.

[Gelston]

Fat is the 2010s gay I guess.

[Taernath]

I'm not looking up that article, but maybe it's like blaming your genetics or thyroid instead of realizing that you just eat too much.

[Astray]

https://i.imgur.com/VIsKBh3.jpg

[Androidpk]

USAF potentially losing 15+ F-22 Raptors from Hurricane Michael.

[Methais]

https://i.imgur.com/eR0trFC.png

[Astray]

China. (https://www.theatlantic.com/photo/2018/03/bike-share-oversupply-in-china-huge-piles-of-abandoned-and-broken-bicycles/556268/)

[Taernath]

Isn't that happening here as well, just on a smaller scale?

[Astray]

No, the service here in the states is very strict. You have to live within the route of a designated docking station, you can't just leave the bike otherwise it's a penalty to your account.

From my understanding on the situation.

[Methais]

China. (https://www.theatlantic.com/photo/2018/03/bike-share-oversupply-in-china-huge-piles-of-abandoned-and-broken-bicycles/556268/)

Why does this look like really killer weed?

https://cdn.theatlantic.com/assets/media/img/photo/2018/03/bikes/b02_904982860/main_900.jpg?1521747507

[Methais]

Isn't that happening here as well, just on a smaller scale?

http://i.imgur.com/OVkto.jpg

[Astray]

Why does this look like really killer weed?

https://cdn.theatlantic.com/assets/media/img/photo/2018/03/bikes/b02_904982860/main_900.jpg?1521747507

Bud has amazing colors, bro.

http://www.kindgreenbuds.com/strain-images/nyc-diesel.jpg

[Methais]

Bud has amazing colors, bro.

http://www.kindgreenbuds.com/strain-images/nyc-diesel.jpg

That bud looks like a Jim Henson creation.

[drauz]

https://i.imgur.com/vrwolA4.jpg

[Gelston]

https://i.imgur.com/vrwolA4.jpg

If he fails his task, he dies. Job first.

[Methais]

https://i.imgur.com/VR68xTb.png

https://i.imgur.com/Vf7Btui.jpg

http://www.fox10phoenix.com/news/ohio-woman-shoplifts-bag-from-walmart-fills-it-with-drugs-police-say?fbclid=IwAR0Wqxh8Dl6E5BAs2_YMmChXZonZpIphASr04 fTcNl3AEM_WmIyey9Nw9Mg

[Methais]

Doctors to Devastated Father: Sorry We ‘Castrated’ Your Son (https://www.pluralist.com/posts/2196-doctors-to-devastated-father-sorry-we-castrated-your-son?fbclid=IwAR2fBGkHNQ41cTvG8TwPzHilYNPQ17z0jP1v9 hZ7bsMVH5C3mEiVvYJVzL4)

https://media1.tenor.com/images/b2ceb27f9a36b804e78b4ebf6418296c/tenor.gif?itemid=12014344

[Astray]

Soulja Boy trying to market a knockoff and 'unafraid' of Nintendo and 'faggot nerds'.

Oh and he played the race card when people started pointing out that it's just a knock off available on Amazon for far cheap.

[sellstuff1]

Soulja Boy trying to market a knockoff and 'unafraid' of Nintendo and 'faggot nerds'.

Oh and he played the race card when people started pointing out that it's just a knock off available on Amazon for far cheap.

Kill yourself, retard.

[Methais]

I'm trying really hard guys!

.

[Astray]

Fucking why?

From selling knockoff Gameboys to knockoff PS Vita. (https://nintendosoup.com/soulja-boy-has-made-a-comeback-and-is-now-ripping-off-the-ps-vita/)

[subzero]

Fucking why?

From selling knockoff Gameboys to knockoff PS Vita. (https://nintendosoup.com/soulja-boy-has-made-a-comeback-and-is-now-ripping-off-the-ps-vita/)

"Soulja Boy" pretty much says it all, right?

[Astray]

"Soulja Boy" pretty much says it all, right?

Yeah... it does.

[Gelston]

Nintendo threatened to sue him into oblivion, so he switched to Sony now.

[Astray]

Nintendo threatened to sue him into oblivion, so he switched to Sony now.

Heard they served him with this.

https://i.imgur.com/7OH4MPG.jpg

[Gelston]

Heard they served him with this.

https://i.imgur.com/7OH4MPG.jpg

All his shit is actually knock off shit from China that he rebrands and sells for $100 more.

[Astray]

All his shit is actually knock off shit from China that he rebrands and sells for $100 more.

Yeah, people were already pointing this out on his Twitter feed.

His Price: $99.99 (on Sale)

Amazon Price: $23.99

[Methais]

Nintendo threatened to sue him into oblivion, so he switched to Sony now.

Hopefully Sony will skip the cease & desist and just sue the dick warts off him.

[Methais]

As you sing, you feel a faint resonating vibration from the blue sapphire armband in your hand...

The armband resonates with your voice, indicating that it enhances its owner in the following ways:
It provides a boost of 2 to Survival Ranks.
This enhancement may not be used by adventurers who have not trained 7 times.
It provides a boost of 2 to Shield Use Ranks.
This enhancement may not be used by adventurers who have not trained 10 times.
It provides a boost of 1 to Two-Handed Weapons Ranks.
This enhancement may not be used by adventurers who have not trained 4 times.
The armband looks to have more than your average giantman could count charges remaining.

THW and shield use on the same item

https://media.giphy.com/media/10p704gIAGRN7i/giphy.gif

[Stumplicker]

https://i.imgur.com/hzcUFNv.jpg

https://twitter.com/jdcivicscience/status/1127285936977522688/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwte rm%5E1127285936977522688&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.iflscience.com%2Feditors-blog%2F56-percent-of-americans-dont-think-we-should-teach-arabic-numerals-in-school%2F

[Gelston]

I prefer Roman numerals.

[Stumplicker]

I prefer Roman numerals.

Goddamned I-Talians. That's only like two letters away from I-Talibans. COINCIDENCE?! Wait it's only one letter. THAT PROVES IT

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

http://i.imgur.com/OVkto.jpg

I like his collection of crutches near the stairs also.

[Methais]

Goddamned I-Talians. That's only like two letters away from I-Talibans. COINCIDENCE?! Wait it's only one letter. THAT PROVES IT

If you take 2 letters off your name, you're umplicker.

Stop licking umpires.

https://media1.tenor.com/images/59e42d55d83ae14282f8bdfa386b1469/tenor.gif?itemid=7143419

[Astray]

This is dumb.

https://i.imgur.com/vo17xkQ.jpg

[Methais]

What am I looking at besides someone's torn apart shartroom?

[Parkbandit]

What am I looking at besides someone's torn apart shartroom?

The way they took a 2x6 floor joist that is supposed to carry "the load" and whittled it down to a 2x2 under a toilet you plop down on to take a shit every day.

[Methais]

The way they took a 2x6 floor joist that is supposed to carry "the load" and whittled it down to a 2x2 under a toilet you plop down on to take a shit every day.

https://31.media.tumblr.com/21c10265a27428d8bed190cbcbff36ff/tumblr_muvglrS3Pv1ra22gmo1_500.gif

[Taernath]

https://www.fieldpulse.com/academy/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/electrician-meme-unbreakable.png

[Astray]

The way they took a 2x6 floor joist that is supposed to carry "the load" and whittled it down to a 2x2 under a toilet you plop down on to take a shit every day.

Basically. The sewage is also set up supremely retarded. It's pure luck the termites that ate that bathroom apart didn't go for that piece of lumber.

[Viekn]

I had a flare up while grilling...with nothing on the grill! The upside is I didn't burn any food, but apparently I never cleaned the pan that grease falls in to and having used for the first time a couple of grill mats my parents gave me 2 years ago, I completely destroyed them. :clap:

[Methais]

I had a flare up while grilling...

Don't worry, there's good news:

https://scontent.fbtr1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/62214364_10156970975737535_137219824240558080_n.jp g?_nc_cat=103&_nc_oc=AQnR3njp6AcWcOO9D2NXuq-cJNXowziAaK2dh7VABdeltojoPPFAf9En5HoIlsbwP1M&_nc_ht=scontent.fbtr1-1.fna&oh=d880f3bfaeda23ed51d32ba2adcb6154&oe=5D5296C4



and having used for the first time a couple of grill mats my parents gave me 2 years ago, I completely destroyed them. :clap:

RIP Viekn's parents. :(

[Methais]

Boy, 5, with autism 'put on record as sex offender’ after hugging classmate (https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/us-news/boy-5-autism-put-record-20173215)

wut

[Methais]

School Orders 5th Graders in Relationships to Break Up With Each Other (https://pluralist.com/riverside-elementary-fifth-graders-zero-dating)

[drauz]

School Orders 5th Graders in Relationships to Break Up With Each Other (https://pluralist.com/riverside-elementary-fifth-graders-zero-dating)

Sounds like those 3 teachers overstepped their authority.

[Tgo01]

Boy, 5, with autism 'put on record as sex offender’ after hugging classmate (https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/us-news/boy-5-autism-put-record-20173215)

wut

I'm glad they are finally cracking down on all of these 5 year old sexual deviants.

Next we need to go after nursing babies for touching their mother's boobies.

[Gelston]

9420

[Gelston]

That is what she said about the Cowfags losing last night. I called her out on it an she blocked me.

[Methais]

9420

Looks like she deleted it.

But now there's this:

https://scontent.fbtr1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-9/71084384_568783993662627_4464989327373369344_n.png ?_nc_cat=102&_nc_oc=AQmMs6zN-ugcctS_nqHsPrLeh88ymQC9WuoNS6kr3qVLovcXMjvp9x3jIgq sJ6f5AX8&_nc_ht=scontent.fbtr1-1.fna&oh=e1c5b086c488438bb429f2081eb875bd&oe=5E2D36F8

[Methais]

Millennials need to get it together:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/personalfinance/millennials-are-swamped-in-debt-and-its-not-just-student-loans/ar-AAIW1uY?li=BBnbfcN

If they played GS they wouldn't have these problems...

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

I spent the last month or so building a complexity model to define our clients. I used several statistical models, including PCA, k-means clustering, decision trees, random forests, linear discriminant analysis and linear/logistic regressions. It is the pinnacle of my professional career - 20 years in the making and something I'm damn proud of. I then presented my findings to our CIO, CFO and VP of Data Science and Analytics.

It was great, 45 minutes of presenting, awesome feedback.

After I present, I'm meeting with my VP and he says the CIO and our pricing VP thought project was killed months ago.

Now I'm drinking to forget it.

[Tgo01]

I spent the last month or so building a complexity model to define our clients. I used several statistical models, including PCA, k-means clustering, decision trees, random forests, linear discriminant analysis and linear/logistic regressions. It is the pinnacle of my professional career - 20 years in the making and something I'm damn proud of. I then presented my findings to our CIO, CFO and VP of Data Science and Analytics.

It was great, 45 minutes of presenting, awesome feedback.

After I present, I'm meeting with my VP and he says the CIO and our pricing VP thought project was killed months ago.

Now I'm drinking to forget it.

This sounds like the plot for a TV show.

[Methais]

This sounds like the plot for a TV show.

A TV show about murderers who only target corporate higher ups who thought projects were dead that people put lots of effort into?

[Methais]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzs5xSxLk5A

[Neveragain]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzs5xSxLk5A

The older gentleman behind her makes this video worth watching.

[Methais]

The older gentleman behind her makes this video worth watching.

He's the reason it's in this thread. Because we don't have a thread called Things That Made Random Old Guys Facepalm. Yet.

I wanna drink beer with him.

[Methais]

I bet this was fun to explain to their wives/girlfriends...

https://i.imgur.com/gofKolP.png