Zylador

[Ralimar]

So, I'm sitting around in Mule's TC when this guy Zylador comes in and basically says, "I was banned from the lands a few years ago, and I just bought this Empath." And then proceeds to read through the entire spell list asking, "<insert spell name>?? What does that do??"
When he realized his character was wearing a wedding band, his response was, "A wedding band!!!!!!!!"
Another gem was, "Where's the bank? Let's see how rich this pathy is!"
Come on, people. If you're going to buy a character on the internet, at least be discreet about it!

[Parkbandit]

Report is your friend.

[peam]

As is "stance o" and "attack"

[Alarke]

You could show him first hand what bone shatter does... call it a friendly display in order to answer questions.

[Galleazzo]

Tell the wanker to type "INCANT 1106" and that will help him gain levels.

[Caramia]

Better yet, ask him what was the name of his old locked out character, then use REPORT.