Time to say Goodbye?

[Authriea]

So I returned back in Dec of 2016 to play GS. I reactivated my old accounts, watched new characters grow. The game was the one thing I allowed myself to have in my real life, the one thing I could look forward to always. I've met some great people, not as many friends as I'd like. I suppose I keep to myself more often than not. Sometimes it's hard to separate feelings I myself have and what my characters might be feeling. Does anyone else have a reality that just sucks so incredibly bad, their escape from life is to hop into GS and turn into someone else? A piece of me still goes in there though... things like my PTSD I can't separate out. In my personal life I don't really have anybody. Just my parents, so relationship and friendships in the game I use to fill this huge gaping hole in my life. On the other hand, it makes it hard at times for me to separate out roleplaying and reality. Since I'm living THROUGH my character, what I feel, she feels and vice versa. One could argue how healthy that is, but I can tell you right now... when you get your heart broken, it hurts in game and out. So I've decided to cancel my subscriptions... although I have no idea whatsoever what I'm going to do to fill my time. I don't work, my life consists almost entirely of doctor's appointments. I wonder what I'm going to do to keep doing, what to focus on to keep going on. I have constant chronic pain and my distraction from feeling it is to be absorbed into the games. So maybe I'll step away for awhile, see how things go. Maybe I've come to depend on it too much or maybe it's what is keeping me sane. I guess I'll find out. So if anyone sees this... you won't be seeing Authriea, Arakkine, Lornieh, Qwentara, Stiana, Ilenia, Chinturia, Juillea and a slew of other characters that I possess.... around anymore.... at least for a little bit.

[Tgo01]

Why you leaving? Do I need to kick someone's ass?

[cwolff]

Thanks for sharing this. It sounds like you have given yourself an opportunity for growth and learning. Its exciting.

[Wrathbringer]

Thanks for sharing this. It sounds like you have given yourself an opportunity for growth and learning. Its exciting.

+1

[Fallen]

Time apart to gain perspective should do you well. Feel better.

[Jhynnifer]

It can be very hard to separate how you feel and your characters feel sometimes. We put so much time, heart and soul into our RP that it's almost impossible not to let some of that spill over into your real life. In a perfect world, the person you RP with becomes a great friend and respects both you and your character enough to consider all sides before making character-changing decisions. Unfortunately, that isn't always the case and you can be left wondering what to do both IC and OOC. That being said, if you're feeling this strongly towards the situation the best medicine is most likely time away. I can't speak for your real life situation, nor what you may be going through... but there must be other options out there for you, healthier ones both mentally and physically.

I really wish you the best, and hope you find something that makes you happy.

[Erous]

I have to say, that one of the more difficult areas on the other side of the fence is how multiple characters are taken into account. You list several characters in your goodbye note. I've run into this situation before, on 3 separate occasions. The first is that I was stalked by the other party's "alts" or alternate characters. Spied on, watched, then berated following questionable activity by the individual's alt. The 2nd, an individual's alt took a liking to me, but due to their main's relationship and the OOC agreement and discussions they had about alts, made it unlikely that the alt and me would ever move forward. The 3rd, was that the individual had multiple alts that had multiple relationships going on simultaneously, that were shared with other partners, causing other partners to follow, get jealous, stalk, etc.

What I'm trying to say is, you have to look at the other side as well and your "alts" lifestyles. If you are crossing alt boundaries, then you're not keeping in IC whatsoever. I also can't imagine what type of mindset, nor time someone could have to run and maintain multiple relationships at the same time. It's just not fair to the other party. It's also not fair that the individual be expected to remain loyal to to multiple characters in an IC sense.

Multiple characters and their involvement in the relationship is really the downfall in many relationships IG. Hence why monogamy is the staple lifestyle when it comes to IRL.

[Parkbandit]

Jesus fucking Christ.. you people do realize GS is a game.. right?

[Neveragain]

I have to say, that one of the more difficult areas on the other side of the fence is how multiple characters are taken into account. You list several characters in your goodbye note. I've run into this situation before, on 3 separate occasions. The first is that I was stalked by the other party's "alts" or alternate characters. Spied on, watched, then berated following questionable activity by the individual's alt. The 2nd, an individual's alt took a liking to me, but due to their main's relationship and the OOC agreement and discussions they had about alts, made it unlikely that the alt and me would ever move forward. The 3rd, was that the individual had multiple alts that had multiple relationships going on simultaneously, that were shared with other partners, causing other partners to follow, get jealous, stalk, etc.

What I'm trying to say is, you have to look at the other side as well and your "alts" lifestyles. If you are crossing alt boundaries, then you're not keeping in IC whatsoever. I also can't imagine what type of mindset, nor time someone could have to run and maintain multiple relationships at the same time. It's just not fair to the other party. It's also not fair that the individual be expected to remain loyal to to multiple characters in an IC sense.

Multiple characters and their involvement in the relationship is really the downfall in many relationships IG. Hence why monogamy is the staple lifestyle when it comes to IRL.

+1

I give 0 fucks about people like this. They are toxic.

[Erous]

Jesus fucking Christ.. you people do realize GS is a game.. right?

Well yeah, but some don't. Some consider this greater than their IRL and sacrifice time away from RL taking it further than it should. I mean hell, if you saw Wyrom's post about GMs going through shit just for an alteration. I had someone whisper me telling me I overestimate my value and that they were above me. They did this in OOC, during an event...I mean WTF? I get the blurring of the lines thing, finding it difficult to separate the 2 in some circumstances, but really, it is what it is: a game.

[Jhynnifer]

Jesus fucking Christ.. you people do realize GS is a game.. right?

It is a game, but it's also human nature to get emotionally attached to anything you spend a lot of time doing so it's not completely unreasonable.

[Allereli]

Wow, way for some people to bring the empathy.

I really respect open posts such as yours as it does bring attention to issues such as IG vs OOG relationships and the mental and physical issues our fellow players go through. Chronic pain is extremely difficult to live a normal live with, and that's not accounting for PTSD issues, so I feel for you. I hope you're able to find the help and life you deserve and are able to return to GS for the creative stimulation rather than the pain masking.

[Neveragain]

Wow, way for some people to bring the empathy.

I really respect open posts such as yours as it does bring attention to issues such as IG vs OOG relationships and the mental and physical issues our fellow players go through. Chronic pain is extremely difficult to live a normal live with, and that's not accounting for PTSD issues, so I feel for you. I hope you're able to find the help and life you deserve and are able to return to GS for the creative stimulation rather than the pain masking.

Sorry Allereli, I can find no empathy for these kinds of people. I guess after dealing with the same scenarios as Erous mentioned on multiple occasions it's hard to give any fucks.

My guess is the OP set herself up for her own "heartbreak", she played the multi-character game and lost.

[Methais]

So I returned back in Dec of 2016 to play GS. I reactivated my old accounts, watched new characters grow. The game was the one thing I allowed myself to have in my real life, the one thing I could look forward to always. I've met some great people, not as many friends as I'd like. I suppose I keep to myself more often than not. Sometimes it's hard to separate feelings I myself have and what my characters might be feeling. Does anyone else have a reality that just sucks so incredibly bad, their escape from life is to hop into GS and turn into someone else? A piece of me still goes in there though... things like my PTSD I can't separate out. In my personal life I don't really have anybody. Just my parents, so relationship and friendships in the game I use to fill this huge gaping hole in my life. On the other hand, it makes it hard at times for me to separate out roleplaying and reality. Since I'm living THROUGH my character, what I feel, she feels and vice versa. One could argue how healthy that is, but I can tell you right now... when you get your heart broken, it hurts in game and out. So I've decided to cancel my subscriptions... although I have no idea whatsoever what I'm going to do to fill my time. I don't work, my life consists almost entirely of doctor's appointments. I wonder what I'm going to do to keep doing, what to focus on to keep going on. I have constant chronic pain and my distraction from feeling it is to be absorbed into the games. So maybe I'll step away for awhile, see how things go. Maybe I've come to depend on it too much or maybe it's what is keeping me sane. I guess I'll find out. So if anyone sees this... you won't be seeing Authriea, Arakkine, Lornieh, Qwentara, Stiana, Ilenia, Chinturia, Juillea and a slew of other characters that I possess.... around anymore.... at least for a little bit.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/RClmZa3IKIM/hqdefault.jpg

[Mogonis]

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/RClmZa3IKIM/hqdefault.jpg
Ugh. I hate when everyday is used incorrectly.

[Methais]

Ugh. I hate when everyday is used incorrectly.

My bad.

https://i.imgflip.com/1qy4ow.jpg

[Fortybox]

Jesus fucking Christ.. you people do realize GS is a game.. right?

The game is a harbor for the mentally ill. Does this really surprise you?

[Tisket]

The game is a harbor for the mentally ill. Does this really surprise you?

Hey now, no need to get personal!

[Ososis]

Mr. P. once told me something along the lines of "Cut people in GSIV some slack, chances are they are almost as damaged as you". I always liked that. I don't always follow the mantra, but I try to tap into it more often than I used to.

[Fortybox]

Hey now, no need to get personal!

Just stating the obvious without pointing fingers.

[Jhynnifer]

Mr. P. once told me something along the lines of "Cut people in GSIV some slack, chances are they are almost as damaged as you". I always liked that. I don't always follow the mantra, but I try to tap into it more often than I used to.

I agree, the vast majority of the population didn't pick the game up because it was super trendy. We're all socially awkward and/or damaged in some way. It's those people who make it their favorite gametime to manipulate people, whore themselves out or otherwise try and make life miserable for everyone else that tend to ruin it. The number of those people I've had the displeasure of dealing with has declined over the years, I can probably count the ones I know (and avoid at all costs) on one hand.. but it took a lot of mistakes and angry moments to get there.

[Authriea]

Well, so I've read the responses... first all of my alts and characters were with only one person. That person dumped me officially last night and I was very good friends with this person IRL as well as IG despite him being married IRL. I made mistakes, so did he. I was just caught by surprise because he is one of those folks that seems to bottle everything in and then explode... which happened to me last night. Because I valued this person in both aspects, IRL and IG, it hit pretty hard. I canceled my membership only to be informed I am paid through the beginning of July anyway. I still feel the pull to play the game, but only in the aspect of grinding hard at hunting and leveling. I'm pretty well burned out on the whole interaction/roleplaying aspect of it for now. So many of you may or may not know me IG, but if I keep mostly to myself, this would be why. Sometimes it's best just to go back to the game aspect of it and leave the feelings and acting out of it for a bit. I think this is kind of specific to Gemstone in that it is such a heavy roleplaying/acting game. I put thought and a lot of effort into all of my different characters, each with their own idiosyncrasies and also a little of me in there too. Thanks for all the responses though and I understand those that are like, really? It's just a game. But, for those that take it to a step above and actively roleplay into it, some of one's self definitely gets vested into it.... and leaves us open to get hurt. Anyway, I'll be seeing you all IG.

[Erous]

I agree, the vast majority of the population didn't pick the game up because it was super trendy. We're all socially awkward and/or damaged in some way..

I disagree. I started playing this game when it was tech-forward and the internet was new. Don't hate because I'm a geek :(

[Whirlin]

Everyone feels that way in a game if their guild/group/whatnot breaks up also.

There's way too many players out there that you haven't met yet. It's too quick to give up on the adventure just over a single person.

[hello]

Hey there, I'm Barbaros in-game a Druid/Cultist of Luukos. If you ever want to hang or RP, I'm usually in the Landing area and I love deep complex RP! Take care and remember to just kickback and have fun!

[Axhinde]

Hey there, I'm Barbaros in-game a Druid/Cultist of Luukos. If you ever want to hang or RP, I'm usually in the Landing area and I love deep complex RP! Take care and remember to just kickback and have fun!

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/72/5a/03/725a03ecd72bc9c5c794f50440cdb1d8.jpg

[Latrinsorm]

Well, so I've read the responses... first all of my alts and characters were with only one person. That person dumped me officially last night and I was very good friends with this person IRL as well as IG despite him being married IRL. I made mistakes, so did he. I was just caught by surprise because he is one of those folks that seems to bottle everything in and then explode... which happened to me last night. Because I valued this person in both aspects, IRL and IG, it hit pretty hard. I canceled my membership only to be informed I am paid through the beginning of July anyway. I still feel the pull to play the game, but only in the aspect of grinding hard at hunting and leveling. I'm pretty well burned out on the whole interaction/roleplaying aspect of it for now. So many of you may or may not know me IG, but if I keep mostly to myself, this would be why. Sometimes it's best just to go back to the game aspect of it and leave the feelings and acting out of it for a bit. I think this is kind of specific to Gemstone in that it is such a heavy roleplaying/acting game. I put thought and a lot of effort into all of my different characters, each with their own idiosyncrasies and also a little of me in there too. Thanks for all the responses though and I understand those that are like, really? It's just a game. But, for those that take it to a step above and actively roleplay into it, some of one's self definitely gets vested into it.... and leaves us open to get hurt. Anyway, I'll be seeing you all IG.Just look at all the actors who marry their co stars, even when they were already married. It's a completely understandable human response. Good luck out there.